40 Days & 40 Nights: A Test

We are all aware of instances in the scriptures where the term “40 Days and 40 Nights” is used to describe an event. Some of them were significant:

Christ fasted for 40 days and 40 nights before the devil came to tempt him, after which He began His ministry. (Matthew 4:1-3)

Moses spent 40 days and 40 nights fasting on Mt. Sinai – while hanging out with the Lord – before he came down with the tablets containing the Ten Commandments. (Exodus 34:28)

The prophet Elijah spent 40 days and 40 nights fasting on Mt. Horeb, learning from the Lord. (1 Kings 19:8)

These were all occasions where the prophet, or the Savior Himself, was tested, communed with God and came away stronger and more prepared for what was to come. Sounds difficult, but worthwhile.

40 seems to be an important number in the Bible – it rained on Noah’s ark for 40 days and 40 nights. Jesus stayed around for 40 days and 40 nights after His resurrection. Jonah gave the people of Ninevah a 40 day ultimatum to repent or be destroyed. There are more.

Biblical scholars mostly agree that 40 days and 40 nights does not necessarily mean 40 days and 40 nights, but is a way of describing a long time, while attaching importance to the period.

As I was making plans, I figured that 40 sounds like a good number. Almost 7 weeks, which hopefully. is long enough to do what I feel I need to do. So, here is my announcement:

I am going on a social media fast for 40 days and 40 nights. It will begin this Tuesday, June 12, and end Sunday, July 22.

For reals. And yes, I am nervous.

Before I explain things better, I do need to clarify something: I did not steal this idea from President Nelson. I know many of you are just coming back for the 7 day social media fast that he challenged the youth to undertake. As a matter of fact, (and I have witnesses) I was planning this a long time before President Nelson announced his version.

Why Now?

I have been blogging as Middleaged Mormon Man for 7.5 years. Other than an occasional week off, I have maintained my blog and a presence on social media regularly since the end of 2009. I have moderated 40K comments, made a million terrible jokes on Facebook. I have also run Sunday Night Check In for several years. Behind the scenes, there are countless emails, conversations, chats and technical stuff to deal with. (As you might know I got hacked a couple times recently as well.)

To be clear, I love MMM, and I am not walking away. I see it as a self-called calling, and that it is of worth. It has also introduced me to wonderful people whom I love. My Facebook and Instagram interactions are a lot of fun, and a good way to keep up with people, and entertain myself. But…

I need a break. It’s not you, it’s me. I promise.

Also, I am seeing some things in my life that I don’t like – things that social media exacerbate: I find myself having less patience with the dumb people of the world. I find myself coveting other people’s travels and lunches. I waste a tremendous amount of time that might be used for something better. I find myself participating in conversations that only lead to contention, and that ain’t good.

Here is the reasoning behind President Nelson’s challenge to the youth, which applies to most everyone:

“So, my first invitation to you today is to disengage from a constant reliance on social media by holding a seven-day fast from social media. I acknowledge that there are positives about social media. But if you are paying more attention to feeds from social media than you are to the whisperings of the Spirit, then you are putting yourself at spiritual risk—as well as the risk of experiencing intense loneliness and depression. You and I both know youth who have been influenced through social media to do and say things that they never would do or say in person. Bullying is one example.

Another downside of social media is that it creates a false reality. Everyone posts their most fun, adventurous, and exciting pictures, which create the erroneous impression that everyone except you is leading a fun, adventurous, and exciting life. Much of what appears in your various social media feeds is distorted, if not fake. So give yourself a seven-day break from fake!”

Choose seven consecutive days and go for it! See if you notice any difference in how you feel and what you think, and even how you think, during those seven days. After seven days, notice if there are some things you want to stop doing and some things you now want to start doing.”  (link)

Why 40 Days?

Habits are tough to break. If I ever forget to take my phone somewhere, it becomes immediately apparent how addicted I am to those magic little buttons. There are lots of studies that show people’s brains respond to their phones and social media in similar chemical fashion as they do to drug addiction. There are lots of ways to get a dopamine fix, and they say social media is one of them. I believe it. (And if you don’t believe me, ask my EC.)

I am hoping that 40 days will be long enough to let those triggers diminish, and to lessen the FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) that comes from being constantly connected.

After that, my intention is to gradually re-enter the social media world on my terms. I look it much like people with food allergies are diagnosed: Take everything away, and gradually reintroduce things- one-at-a-time – looking for what becomes problematic.  For me, that will take a clean slate.  I am not very good at doing things half-way. (again, ask my EC.)

Speaking of my EC. She’s gonna freak and not know what to do with me…

How?

I am going to take Facebook, Messenger, Instagram and Twitter off of my phone. I will also be turning off any notifications from my blog or any social media app, so I don’t have the Pavlovian response to the little “ding” sounds that call to me.

The MMM blog will be on hiatus for 6 weeks.  That is a toughie, because I know it is of value, but I don’t tust myself enough to take half-measures.  So, the blog will still be up, and the archives available, but there won’t be any new posts.  Comments will be turned off so that I don’t have to moderate them. (See, I’ve been thinking this through.)

I expect it to be difficult. To remove something that has been a very significant part of my life for 7.5 years will be hard. Thankfully, I know you all well enough that if my little green light ever appeared on Facebook during my fast, a bunch of you would call me out on it.  I’m fine with that.

What Will You Do Instead?

I hope to read more, write more, spend more time looking at people I love instead of at my phone. I want to spend more of my days thinking and learning. I want to spend more time looking up, which reminds me of this story, told by Elder Carl B. Cook.

“At the end of a particularly tiring day toward the end of my first week as a General Authority, my briefcase was overloaded and my mind was preoccupied with the question “How can I possibly do this?” I left the office of the Seventy and entered the elevator of the Church Administration Building. As the elevator descended, my head was down and I stared blankly at the floor.

The door opened and someone entered, but I didn’t look up. As the door closed, I heard someone ask, “What are you looking at down there?” I recognized that voice—it was President Thomas S. Monson.

I quickly looked up and responded, “Oh, nothing.” (I’m sure that clever response inspired confidence in my abilities!)

But he had seen my subdued countenance and my heavy briefcase. He smiled and lovingly suggested, while pointing heavenward, “It is better to look up!” As we traveled down one more level, he cheerfully explained that he was on his way to the temple. When he bid me farewell, his parting glance spoke again to my heart, “Now, remember, it is better to look up.” (link)

I need to spend more time looking up. So does our society – not just not looking down, but looking down at our phones. Especially when driving or walking in public. Or out to dinner with other people, or at the movies, etc.

Who?

Just me.   No pressure on you.   Only you know if this is something you might need to undertake. Self-inflicted struggle is not everyone’s cup of tea. I know a lot of you just finished up a week-long fast, and I’m looking forward to hearing what you experienced. If you want to come along for the ride on this one, please do – misery loves company. (But there will not be a Facebook group or hashtag to report your progress. That would just be too deliciously ironic.)

A couple other things:

1. Yes, you can still buy my books on my website, and they will get sent out.
2. I can still be contacted via email at mmm@middleagedmormonman.com. Like I tell my staff when I go on vacation: “Call me if you need me, but try not to need me.”
3. If you see something amiss (website hackery, or bad stuff on my Facebook), please let me know.
4. I am flirting with the idea of journaling my experience. If I do, I’ll blog about it AFTER I’m done.

Wish me luck – I hope to come away stronger and more prepared for what is to come. I will miss a lot of you.

Signing off on Tuesday.

PS: Almost forgot: SNCI will be late tonight – or very early. I am speaking at a YSA fireside.