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A Christmas Visitor, In July

I almost forgot to tell you what happened to me the other day!  I know nobody reads Saturday posts, but I want to get this written down before it slips away…

It was the early hours of the morning on Thursday, July 25th. Something woke me up, and I slowly opened my eyes and saw that it was still nighttime.  As my eyes adjusted, I noticed a man leaning against the wall with his arms folded.

I flipped on my lamp and sat up. I glanced over at my EC and saw she was still sleeping soundly.  I turned back to the man leaning against the wall.

He stepped forward.  I noticed that he had on board shorts, a Corona t-shirt, and flip-flops. And a Santa hat. He looked surprisingly like Matthew McConaughey. At this point I was not sure if I was dreaming, or awake.

I said to him, “Hey! You look like..”

“Matthew McConaughey?  I know – I get that all the time.”

I pointed at my EC and asked, “Are you sure you aren’t supposed to be in her dream? Because that would make a LOT more sense.”

He ignored my question and asked, “Are you Middleaged Mormon Man?”

“Yes.”

“Then I’m at the right place.”

“Then who are you?”

He stood up straight and announced, “I am the Ghost of Christmas in July.”

“Seriously?  I’ve never even heard of you.”

He looked a little put out. “We are relatively new, and don’t have a very good marketing department. The other group got that Dickens guy involved, and now all anyone talks about is Christmas in December.”

“That makes sense, kinda.” I said, feeling my curiosity rise. “Which ghost are you? Past, Present, or Future?”

“Well, right now I’m trying to do all three, cutbacks you know.”

“Of course. Well, what am I supposed to call you? I’m not going to say ‘Ghost of Christmas in July Past, Present & Future.”

“Just call me ‘Dude.'”

“Dude?  That works. So why are you here in my bedroom in the middle of the night, Dude?”

“I am here to sing the praises of Christmas in July.”

“Please don’t sing!  You might wake my wife, and this will get even weirder.”

“I didn’t mean actually sing, Mr. Literal, besides I don’t have my guitar.  I am here to tell you about the joy that is Christmas in July.”

“Are you going to take me somewhere and show me stuff?”

“No. Sorry.”

“Let me guess, cutbacks?”

“Times are tough.”

“It’s OK – besides I don’t even believe in Christmas in July.”

“That’s cool, because thousands of LDS women all across the world do believe.”

“But why are you here with me?” I asked.

“Because you are cranky and vocal.”

“Yeah. So?”

“We saw you mocking Super Saturdays, and thought if we could visit you early enough, you might leave Christmas in July alone.”

“You came all this way to ask me not to make fun of Christmas in July?”

“Pretty much.”

I shook my head and chuckled. “It hadn’t even crossed my mind. Besides, I don’t see as many Christmas in July activities as I used to – I think it’s dying off.”

The Ghost looked very somber and said, “You sure know how to hurt a guy.”

(All this time I couldn’t get my head around if this was a dream, or real life, or a ghost or the greatest practical joke of all time.  I knew my answer would be found in the scriptures. D&C 129 to be exact.)

I stood up and said, “Dude, I promise that I won’t write anything on my blog mocking Christmas in July.”

He looked at me with gratitude and said, “Thank you, MMM!”

I extended my hand and said, “And to show you that I am a man of my word, let’s shake on it.”

He looked concerned and said, “Nah, that’s cool. I’m more of a cool ‘nod’ kinda guy myself.”

“No really, let’s shake. I am not convinced you aren’t really an evil spirit”  I pushed forward.

“Why would you say that?” He asked , incredulously.

“Well, the Corona t-shirt was a start. Shake my hand!” I demanded.

He scowled at me and said “Whatever.” And vanished.

Now I am left to try and figure out what it all meant. I’m not surprised that more people haven’t heard about the Ghost of Christmas in July.  Their marketing approach is terrible.

 

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Comments

  1. I have never been to a Church-sponsored Christmas in July event, but I started my own Christmas in July celebration as a teen. I would gather friends and we would make and decorate Christmas cookies, then deliver them around the neighborhood via door-to-door Christmas caroling. It was (and still is, for I still do it) a fun, non-threatening way to share a little of the message of Christ with others. The only negative comments I have received about doing this is from Church members (like the bishop who told me my first year caroling in July that I “must have done something really bad if” I felt I “needed to do something like this” (please never say this to a kid whose just trying to do something nice!)). I am a firm believer in allowing everyone to enjoy celebrating the birth of our Saviour whenever they feel like it. After all, you never know when that spark will be lit in someone’s soul, helping them desire to know their Saviour!

  2. This will probably not go over well with u but I have 2 kids with December birthdays. So to help with budget costs, we celebrate their half birthdays instead of their birthdays.

    1. I love that you thought of celebrating their “half” birthdays. I always thought those with December birthdays got shafted.

    2. My older sister’s birthday is December 28th, so for years we’ve done a small, half-birthday thing. My younger sister and I buy a gift that can be halved (a pair of earrings, a pair of shoes [but never a pair of pants!]) and wrap each part separately. We get a card, both sign in strategic places, seal in the envelope, then cut it in half. Add one of those half bundt cakes sold in the grocery store bakery and what used to be a half-gallon of ice cream, and you’ve got yourself a halfway decent half-birthday party!

  3. Heh heh heh…

    Okay, in lackadaisical defense of Christmas in July, it does make some mild sense if Christmas gifts are to be homemade and on a tight budget. Getting started early makes sense.

    But most of the CIJ “events” I’ve seen around church are poorly-disguised marketing attempts for various multi-level marketing schemes, or decor crafts that involve a lot more stuff than I’m willing to stand.

    I’m more the Let’s Celebrate The Spiritual Side Because I Don’t Craft sort of person…

  4. One of the best birthday parties my mom ever planned was a Christmas in July party for my little sister. They did an activity associated with all the major holidays — trick-or-treating to the neighbors, making gingerbread houses, etc. I’ve had fond memories of Christmas in July ever since.

    Of course, it was a party for 7-year-olds . . .

  5. I’m here, reading. Actually, he should have been the Ghost of Christmas in July Future – you know, because we are always planning ahead… if you write, I’ll read.

Add your 2¢. (Be nice.)