The time: 9:00pm
The day: Monday
The place: In my bedroom. Hiding.
(I’m writing this on Monday night, but I need to read it tomorrow morning before I post it. (Next morning – a couple edits))
Sigh. We just finished having our weekly Family Home Evening. Some go great, some go OK, tonight was a disaster. I had actually spent some time preparing a nice lesson building on last Sunday’s church lessons about Christ’s use of parables in His teaching.
I should have known it was destined for failure right from the opening song: One of the FOMLs sat down at the piano and chose to play “Nearer My God to Thee”, a song that reminds me of funerals. About halfway through, I realized that I was the only one singing. Nobody knew the words. I asked everyone to stop, and asked if we needed to pick another song that everyone knew. My EC suggested that we get hymnbooks instead. What seemed like an hour later, we ended up singing together. At least it looked like it – I couldn’t hear anyone, but this time their lips were moving.
Trying to teach a lesson that can be understandable for a 4th grader, and still interesting for teenagers is a challenge, but I pressed forward with pure intent.
About 2 minutes in, my 4th grader was absorbed by trying to flatten out the bent corners of his scriptures, the middle FOML was staring off into space, thinking about who-knows-what, and my 18 year-old was reading the “scriptures” on his iPhone. I looked at my EC, she looked back at me and shrugged her shoulders, looking as defeated as I felt. The boys didn’t even notice.
Argh! Nothing was connecting. They didn’t want to listen, they didn’t want to be there, and the Spirit had decided that he would rather be watching Dancing With the Stars. I can’t blame him. The bright side is that we weren’t actually fighting – which is how my I spent my youth on Monday nights.
We closed with the song “Put Your Shoulder to the Wheel” after arguing about whether that was the title, or if it was “The World Has Need of Willing Men”. Of course we had to drag out the hymnbooks again to verify.
The middle FOML said the closing prayer and blessed the refreshments. It was the only time the kids actually perked up. We didn’t have any. So, I went to the outside freezer, took my last glorious pint of Ben & Jerry’s, split it three ways and gave it to the boys. They were glad, but not as excited as they should have been, considering it was “Everything but the…” flavor. (see previous post here.)
I told the kids to get busy with their homework, and beat a hasty retreat to my room with my EC in tow. (Boy that Ralph Macchio hasn’t aged a bit, and he sure can dance.)
And we will try it again next week. I promise.
Why? Because I know that it isn’t always like this, and that it is worth it. I know that the promises of holding weekly FHE are just too fabulous to pass up. Don’t know what I’m talking about? Then dig in:
Elder James E. Faust
Enriching Our Lives Through Family Home Evening
Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin
Spiritually Strong Homes and Families
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Some days you (we) just have to remind yourself about the stokes of paint making up the field in that painting Elder Bednar spoke about- same talk as “He’s breathing my air!”, etc.
I just found your blog and I really really love it! Thank you for posting refreshing, true to life and consequentially funny thoughts. I find myself nodding as I read while a smile creeps across my face. Many times it escapes in a laugh out loud.
One of my favourite memories of FHE was one that my amazing Dad pulled off the top of his head, as we were sitting in the backyard one sunny Monday evening. It only lasted 10 minutes, and he didn’t think much of it. But to me it made a lasting impression and since I told him that so much over the years he has created more quick FHE lessons around the same principle.
The lesson literally went like this:
Rach, can you read JSH 1:17 outloud?
(after I had done that)… what can we learn from the one scripture?! My two brothers and my parents and I thought of 17 things off the top of our heads. I love doing that to a scripture in my own personal study time.
Over the years we have hiked mountains with our scriptures in our backpacks and my Dad when getting to the top would read an ensign article or story, (or just a few months ago around the dinner table a letter from my brother on a mission) and we would have to think of a scripture that relates to something that was said in the talk/letter.
So simple, yet you never know the effect a single lesson or spiritual thought has on someone. Especially your FOYL’s.
Now that I am the only child left at home, FHE is one of the things I missed most of all. We still have it, but I never though I’d miss the forced hours every week with the whole family wishing they were somewhere else. We did used to fight a lot, and even our lessons could be contentious, but to those moms who don’t want to do it: DON’T GIVE UP! I was that screaming 3-year-old and hyper 7-year-old and teenager with my iPod and always with something else on my mind. When I think back to how much time and effort my parents put into that time, I wouldn’t trade those hours for ANYTHING, and I wish I had been a better daughter. Because of FHE, I knew my parents cared about me and the gospel. I could personally express spiritual enlightenment and personal issues to those who cared for the most. Most of all, I could pause and be with my family: the most important part of my life. They will love you for it later, I promise. ~Thankful 16-year-old YW
Sounds a lot like my house–:)
I can’t even bring myself to do it lately since I just want to be locked in a padded room alone with a sandwich and a Diet Coke. Lately, they have consisted of “how was your day?” and then a lot of screaming and fighting. Very spiritual.
We are on our 6th week in a row record for FHE. I can totally agree with Tonya’s comments. The advesary is also there lurking every morning before family prayer and scriptures trying to get us to get mad and not do them. Totally my fault on those days we miss 🙁
We try to have FHE and it shouldn’t be so hard with only one teenage boy, that is something to strive for.
Dang. That reminds me that we didn’t have FHE last night. Maybe we can hold tonight. After all, I’m always late for everything so it works with my theme . . .
If it’s any comfort, our FHE highlight from last night was the “spirited” discussion as to whether Hawaii 5-O was a new episode or not.
I feel your pain. Many times we dread Mondays, because from the moment they arrive home from school to the moment we sit down in the living room, Satan is on our backs. We fight and get all angst-y and irritable. Dinner is miserable and often disgusting. 🙂 I feel grateful that my husband is so committed to having FHE because I know that even though we all want to kill each other before we start, we are HAVING FHE, SO SIT DOWN AND GET OVER IT! heh. Good luck next week! Thanks for sharing.