It is true. I have been called out for being disobedient to Apostolic counsel. Repeatedly.
Some of you will read this post and see a big ball of self-justification, some will see well-thought-out reasoning, and others will see typos. That’s OK- it takes all kinds.
Here’s the situation:
Back in March, Elder Quentin L. Cook went to Rexburg and spoke at a devotional for BYU-I students. (Which is a fancy way of saying Rick’s College.)
The title of Elder Cook’s talk was “What E’er Thou Art, Act Well Thy Part: Avoid Wearing Masks That Hide Identity.” It is a good talk. (Link to the entire talk here.)
In the past few months, I have received emails asking if I have read the talk, and what I’m going to do about it. I haven’t responded to them.
Well of course, I’m sure those people are solely motivated by concern for my personal spiritual welfare…
Here are some quotes from the talk to help understand my dilemma:
There will be great pressure on each of you to act out of character—to even wear a mask—and become someone who doesn’t really reflect who you are or who you want to be.
One of your greatest protections against making bad choices is to not put on any mask of anonymity. If you ever find yourself wanting to do so, please know it is a serious sign of danger and one of the adversary’s tools to get you to do something you should not do.
It is interesting that almost everyone who is involved with pornography assumes a false identity and hides his or her participation. They mask their conduct, which they know is reprehensible and destructive to everyone they care about.
As you move toward marriage, you must not wear any masks that hide inappropriate conduct that will be detrimental to you or your marriage.
So, the obvious worry that such a concept creates for some people is, “Hey! MMM is anonymous! He is one of them evil mask-wearing super-villains and must be stopped. ‘Cuz Elder Cook said!”
(Oops. Mr. Incredible isn’t a mask-wearing super-villain. My bad. But Syndrome is.)
In response to those who are wondering how I am remaining anonymous after being called out by an Apostle, I do want you to know that I read this talk repeatedly, and stewed about it, and prayed about it. It did concern me, and I think Elder Cook’s counsel is really good and timely.
Here is what my months of consternation, thought and prayer have yielded:
Feel free to judge me.
1) Just because I am anonymous to YOU, doesn’t mean I am anonymous to EVERYONE.
My EC knows. My children know. Some of my best friends know. A couple of snoopy, clever people know.
There are enough people who know, and who love me, that if I even attempted to use my blog for nefarious purposes, they would be on me like Jack Bauer on a terrorist. They would not tolerate it. I also have smart enough friends and family that they would call me out if I taught “iffy” religious doctrine as well.
The life and guy I portray as Middle-aged Mormon Man is me. Warts and all.
2) The adversary encourages us to use masks to “get you to do something you should not do.”
Well, I am doing something I am supposed to be doing. That reassurance makes it easier. Now if were trolling pornographic chat rooms with my secret identity, I’m sure there would be a toasty spot in the hereafter prepared for me.
3) “By their fruits ye shall know them.” (3 Nephi 14:20)
This one would be your call. Am I bringing forth evil fruit, or good fruit? Does my blog bless lives, or damage lives? The intention is to have safe place where we can laugh, talk about spiritual things, and be safe from the forces of evil that are fighting against the kIngdom online.
Ironically, many of the LDS blogs out there are wearing a mask of fealty, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. (Matthew 7:15)
Eventually I will disclose who I am. It will be met with a large “meh” from most of you. Until that day, I am comfortable with my pseudonym, and will just keep doing what I do.
One last thought about the “anonymity thing” that I find odd, is that if I were to tell you that my name was “Oscar Jones,” and that I live in Denver, you STILL wouldn’t know anything about me.
Just discovered MMM. I am a MMW and Oscar Jones is my uncle. Me thinks your invisible cloak is necessary. Carry on.
; )
I’m pretty sure the Church supports children not sharing personal information online as a matter of safety. However,they strongly support children sharing what happens online with their parents. I believe Elder Cook’s talk refers to using the anonymity of the internet to hide from those responsible to hold you accountable spiritually (Spouse, parents, bishop, etc…); people you know personally and have close relationships with. The crazies on the internet and the NSA don’t count as someone with the need to know everything you do online. The dangers of sharing personal online information are not limited to our children.
What was that letter sent out a few years ago by the First Presidency regarding the counsel to not post/re-post notes from talks that were not given to you? (That those talks were only for the members to whom they were originally given.)
While Elder Cook is a member of the Twelve AND this talk was published, I still think that this talk was for the students at BYU-I and not general Church membership. Yes it is good counsel; not contending that.
Do you know which letter I am referring to? And if so, what is your take on it?
I tried being anonymous just for security reasons. But I joined a blogger consortium, and unknowingly the separate email account I set up used my real name. I didn’t realize it would show in the account information. I didn’t set up good enough security I guess. So now all of the fellow bloggers call me by name in their comments. Oh well…. But I’m like you in that I’m the same person on my blog that I am in “real life”. Anyone who really knows me would see that in my writing. But honestly, I’m not very good with names or faces, and even if you are a public person, there is a high chance I still wouldn’t know who you were. lol
uh, yeah. I don’t read all that thoroughly, thus I missed Paul’s comment. Sorry.
What? No one talking about the video? I LOVE that Sting song. One of my favorites. 😉
I was at that devotional. I think you’re good. It’d be less fun if your identity wasn’t a secret. Also, BYU-Idaho is not just a fancy Rick’s. Many, many significant changes have happened in the past decade. We love “The Spirit of Rick’s,” but we are definitely not the same. You should come take a tour.
I would fall under the “meh” team, too. You are who you are, and I just love reading your witty blog.
On another note, you did exactly what Elder Cook asked you to do. “Beware.” “Take Caution.” That, to me, means make sure what you are doing with your anonymous “mask” is wholesome. You did, in fact, hear the talk, realize you wear a “mask”, and made sure you aren’t harming anything or anyone. No harm done, and you aren’t disobeying any council. That’s my two cents.
Oh, and concluding your post with a song by Sting is proof that you are righteous and good. 🙂
Much ado, meet nothing…
As for your justifications, you’re right, you’re right, and you’re right.
Oh golly Brother MMM! Half the Bro’s in our ward, I don’t remember their names, so what’s the big deal. Where’s their sense of humor? If we can’t have innocent fun, then something’s wrong! Three or four cheers for MMM! Hip hip hooray!
HAHAHA! This is funny. I was assuming all along that the pseudonym and anonymity in this case was to protect yourself and your family. I never even thought to question the validity of your choice. People are weird. And your blog is fantastic. 🙂
Edward Snowden knows your name! Or he could…if he wanted to…
Ellen said, “I really want to know what state you live in!”
I think he already told us, but I could be 96% wrong. And please, no cape.
I know one thing, you are an inspiration…. and I use my name on my blog.
It’s the internet. Seriously. If someone really wants to know who you are, they can figure it out.
I agree with many before me; this particular talk, although it has very worthy advice that should be headed, is not pointed as a reprimand, at you.
Have a wonderfully blessed week!!! (with or without the cape)
(SlightelyMormon.Blogspot.com)
I love your blog and am constantly recommending it to others. It makes me think, and quite often laugh out loud as well. It doesn’t matter to me that we don’t know your name, but I really want to know what state you live in!
Choas. I live in a state of chaos. Thanks for asking.
I certainly don’t need to know your name to enjoy your blog. Several children in my primary class asked me why ‘the brother of Jared’ was called that, instead of by his real name. All I could say was that his name wasn’t important…what he DID was.
I do feel like you were dissing BYU-I. My daughter attends school there, and I couldn’t be happier with her education or the atmosphere there. It is a wonderful school!
Don’t get sensitive. Anybody my age still stumbles over the name change.
I love your blog! I love everything you write about and make me laugh about! I think I would like to know who you are one day so that I could possible meet you and hug you, if it was okay with your wife, and tell you THANK YOU for so many things! You truly are a great blessing! Keep up the EXCELLENT work! We love you MMM!
When I quote MMM my family know who I’m referring to and that they better shape up. We don’t need a “name” here. BUT if you ever need a human foible to zero in on, we have more than enough to share.
If we had to call an end to all things anonymous, then we could no longer “ding-dong-ditch” at Halloween and Christmas. Then what would all the YW and YW groups do?
Could you put me in touch with the few wise folks who have figured your identity out? I can’t believe you have been able to keep your identity confidential for so long considering the success of your blog. By the way, this is one of the few blogs that people visit these days. I feel like blogging has been punched in the stomach by the popular social media bullies and is curled up on the side of the road. Keep up the good work.
Very flattering comment – thanks. The way you tell it sounds like a digital version of the Good Samaritan.
I love your blog and like that it is anonymous. More fun that way. I doubt Elder Cook was talking about your type of blog which is a positive, uplifting one. He’s talking about all the negative things people do under the guise of anonymity.
Keep on keeping on! This blog is fun and really insightful. I should tell you I used the “Tarzan Principle” in a talk about forgiveness and repentance not long ago (minus the pictures) and also in a R.S. lesson at a different time. More effective with the pictures, mind you. People loved it and I just told them a friend taught me the principle. You’re everyone’s good blogging friend, MMM. Anonymous or not. 🙂
I can certainly see the value of Elder Cook’s talk, the Internet tends to bring out the worst in people.
When it comes to LDS blogs you can see how bad it can get, downright rebellious and mean-spirited with some. MMM has always “held on to the iron rod” however and I hope to follow his example. I spoke about this in some of my early blog posts.
I don’t really see us as not using our names as an issue as long as we always remember who we are and what our Heavenly Father expects us to be.
So long as you’re not from my home stake, the revelation wouldn’t mean much except to put a face with the pseudonym.
I kinda hate “me too” comments, but… I agree. I could not care less what your name is, because unless you happen to be somebody I know, face it, you’re still anonymous.
Keep up the good work, fight the good fight, and ignore the naysayers.
What comes to mind for me is the scripture, Matt 6:1-4. You do your good works not to boast, not for worldly acclaim – nor their rewards. You have your priorities correct. Those who want to know your identity – grow up. We don’t know the
Three Nephites names. We don’t know Heavenly Mother’s name. Get over it.
Good fruit. Sometimes even dipped in dark chocolate. I blog anonymously to protect my loved ones. Who, like yours, would call me out instantly. When I first went online, I was the single mother of five kids. Four of them still at home. I was and am fiercely protective of them. Did not want some weirdo tracking my babies down from my online presence. Did not join FB, where I am not anonymous, until my children were grown. Only a handful of my FB friends know where I blog.
Yea!! We like you for standing up for your principles! I love your blog, comments, points of view, willingness to interact with your followers, love your typos (that one personally gives me strength :-),…I kind of wish I were anonymous….but there is probably only room for one masked blogger. Besides, I can actively post photos and stories of my family and struggle against the evils of life, you have to always be cognizant of what you are saying and what it will give away. (Though, you do a fabulous job.) So keep on bloggin’! We’ll keep reading, anonymity or not.
I think it’s hilarious that anyone even tied that talk to you.
Now I have to go look up ‘fealty’ and figure out if it’s my blog you’re talking about! 🙂
My vote is that everything just stays the way it is.
Wrong, Mr. Incredible does not wear a CAPE.
Duh. Too dangerous.
I think it would be different if you were using your pseudonym to go around flaming or blasting people on line. I’ve been blogging for almost 13 years now, and sometimes being a bit ambiguous is ok. I wouldn’t worry too much about revealing who you are, because I think your blog reflects that anyway. We don’t really need to know your name. At least I don’t.
And, if I could just add one more thing, you have great taste in music! That may not have much to do with this post but I felt like sharing that…
I would only care about your identity if you’re someone I know. Then I wouldn’t believe that you didn’t tell me sooner.
I think your “fruits” are just fine. Thanks for what you do!
I actually think it’s awesome that you choose to blog the way that you do. You actually are more friendly and communicative than many, well most of the LDS bloggers that I’ve encountered and communicated with. In my experience with LDS blogs they say what they wanted to say, they open things up as if they are willing to have a discussion, but when you try to actually “discuss” it’s internet crickets. Especially if you are presenting a question or pov that may seem contradictory. And heaven forbid if you really truly have a question that you are honestly seeking advice for and wrestling with…if the blog owner ignores you then you can count on other readers to jump in and rip you to shreds. You my friend are not like this, not in my experience with you and I’ve been following your blog for a while. Maybe you’d be the same way if you were blogging under your actual name, maybe not? It’s an interesting thing to consider and it sounds like you’ve considered all of the angles to this. I have a lot of friends that are not LDS, one thing that I consistently hear is that LDS people aren’t the nicest bunch. They are superficially friendly and seem like nice enough people but they are very hard to get close to. Good neighbors and all but don’t count on any of them showing up to your dinner party. I’ve actually heard this my entire life, my Father said it a lot actually. I’ve experienced it myself first hand. You aren’t like that, at all, and it really is refreshing. You seem to invite everyone to your internet party! At the end of the day your blog is doing good in the world. If you do ever decide to do a big reveal then I hope things don’t change. have a wonderful day!
Sounds to me like everyone so far falls into the category of seeing “well-thought-out reasoning” and I’ve got one foot firmly in that camp, the other is toeing the line toward “and other’s will see typos.” Of course, the only one I noticed was in that phrase, so thanks for the laughs and the well-thought-out reasoning!
The Lord (Matt: Ch. 6) taught us that when we do good things to be SEEN of men we have no reward. Being anonymous is a great way to serve so many fellow saints who are inspired and uplifted by the Gospel Doctrines and righteous principles that you teach, Your Father seeth who you truly are in secret and will reward you openly.
I know your name, what city you live in, and where you work. Meh. I don’t think this talk applies to what you’re doing. Carry on.
I agree with Vatermann: Elder Cook’s talk doesn’t apply to you. Dumb that you even had to waste the column space addressing it. Meh. BTW – if you were bringing forth rotten fruit I would know it, because I’m blessed to have the companionship of the HG – lucky [read: obedient] me. (Which is not to imply that I think I’m perfect…)
Thanks, Sherri. It just occurred to me that I’m anonymously commenting on an anonymous blog. Does it cancel itself out?
On you like Jack Bauer on a terrorist… brownie points for that one! It’s more fun for it to be anyonymous! Love the blog and everything about it!
So you think counsel from a GA doesn’t apply to you. Sounds like you’re rationalizing.
Sorry, I’m just being irritating–which is ME in real life. Really, like previous commenters and you have said, your name would mean nothing to me. You go ahead and be Middle-Aged Mormon Man, the provoker of thought and sometimes amusement.
I saw that typo. Scratch that, TWO typos. Nope, three. Wait, four. Three punctuation errors and one misspelling. And no use of the Oxford comma, which is not necessarily an error (which is why I didn’t include it in the count) but more of a personal preference. Also a dis on BYU I, at which I take umbrage, even though I went to the REAL BYU.
You ARE being irritating.
Being anonymous makes this blog really fun, hilarious, and awesome. But you are very right, I’ve guessed you are in Utah and since we live in Georgia there is a teeny tiny not gonna happen chance that I would actually know who you were!
I don’t live in Utah – so your odds just got 2% better.
I’m on “team anonymity”. I like your humor, I like your seriousness and I like bacon. I also like the word “meh”. When the day comes that I find out you are my next door neighbor,I will stop trying to convert Father John. Keep up the good, anonymous work.
I think the anonymity is fun! The best part of this post is knowing how blessed you are to have family and friends to call you out if you ever presented “iffy” doctrine. Count me in with the “meh” crowd on finding out your real name. Though, the addition of a mask to your pioneer-man picture would be apt. 😉 Thanks for your insight, your blog is a pleasure to read.
Meh, you’re on the right track. Keep it up. 🙂
Heh. Its funny to me that people were even concerned about this. I hardly think “middle-aged Mormon man” qualifies as a “mask of anonymity”. Sound more like a wood-working chat room handle my FIL would use. You are, in very fact, a Mormon guy who has reached middle age, and everything you publish in true to that identity and, much more importantly, is respectful of and loyal to the doctrines of the Church and the authority of its leaders. Since I find it unlikely that I have met you in “real life”, I don’t know that I would have a better sense of who you are if I knew you were Phil Robertson of the Meridian, Idaho stake and had seen several photos of you. We may not know your name or the exact appearance of your face, but you are not hiding who you are–that’s quite apparent to all of us who read.
Yep, if you ever let go of your “anonymous man” mask, my reaction would be what-evs. Unless you happen to be one of the 3 Nephites or John, and then I will have thousands of deep doctrinal questions, starting with, “Have you been eating food all these years, and if so, where is the best place to get decent guacamole that I don’t have to make myself?”
I think the anonymity is fun. Mostly though, I am pleased to hear you have family and friends to call you out on any “Iffy” doctrine which may be presented; it sounds as though you have a great set of friends and family. Count me in on the “meh” population of knowing your real name, though if you added a super-hero mask or cape to your pioneer-guy picture, it would make it all the more awesome.
Oscar Jones, I know him! 😉
You might be wearing a mask, but there is nothing else about you that you are hiding. Unless you are a total apostate who sells drugs on street corners and you are just parading yourself as a witty and clever righteous man trying to uphold the teachings of Christ.
First! This never happens. I’m like seriously so excited. Anyhoo, I agree with you, MMM. I think what Elder Cook was warning against was pretending to be (or worse, becoming) someone you are not. You know who you are. Your online persona is a reflection of you, not a false identity. Too many “LDS” blogs are not anonymous but are definitely a mask of true doctrine covering up a false teacher. I’d rather read your “anonymous” blog any day, as it leads me to Christ and side-splitting laughter–both obviously necessary for eternal life. 🙂
“What’s in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet…”
~ W Shakespeare