“Stubbornness is strength, misapplied.”
-MMM-
We all know stubborn people. We use words to describe them like bull-headed, unyielding, obstinate, etc.
The problem is that in deciding if someone is stubborn or not usually depends on if we agree with what the person is being stubborn about. If we disagree, we declare him stubborn. If we agree with the premise, then we praise him as being “strong-willed”, “determined”, or “persistent” – and admire his “strength”.
It is less about the stubborn person, and more about where we stand.
I know people who have stubbornly stood for what is right in the face of withering opposition, with incredible strength. So, before we declare someone stubborn, we might want to look and see which one of us is on the right side of the issue.
– My EC stubbornly insists that we are on time for church.
– I am so stubborn that I make my entire family get out of bed to read scriptures.
– I am strong. That’s why I control the TV remote.
– Don’t even start with the whole “toilet-seat thing”.
– Don’t even start with the whole “toilet-seat thing”.
There is a great story that illustrates this idea – I imagine you have all heard it, but I’ll bet you didn’t know it was written by Leo Tolstoy.
Leo Tolstoi 1828-1910
THE KING AND THE FALCON
A certain King let his favourite Falcon loose on a hare, and galloped after him.
The Falcon caught the hare. The King took him away, and began to look for some water to drink. The King found it on a knoll, but it came only drop by drop. The King fetched his cup from the saddle, and placed it under the water. The water flowed in drops, and when the cup was filled, the King raised it to his mouth and wanted to drink it. Suddenly the Falcon fluttered on the King’s arm and spilled the water. The King placed the cup once more under the drops. He waited for a long time for the cup to be filled even with the brim, and again, as he carried it to his mouth, the Falcon flapped his wings and spilled the water.
When the King filled his cup for the third time and began to carry it to his mouth, the Falcon again spilled it. The King flew into a rage and killed him by flinging him against a stone with all his force. Just then the King’s servants rode up, and one of them ran up-hill to the spring, to find as much water as possible, and to fill the cup. But the servant did not bring the water ; he returned with the empty cup, and said :
” You cannot drink that water ; there is a snake in the spring, and she has let her venom into the water. It is fortunate that the Falcon has spilled the water. If you had drunk it, you would have died.”
The King said :
” How badly I have repaid the Falcon ! He has saved my life, and I killed him.”
–Stupid, stubborn bird.
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Have you heard the “game” of Three Degrees? “I’m persistent; you’re stubborn; she’s a mule.” … You can play it with lots of qualities: “I’m tidy; you’re OCD; she’s neurotically clean.” “I’m casual; you’re sloppy; she’s a pig.”
I have actually never heard that story. But you are so right people we don’t agree with often are “stubborn”.
I can’t tell you how much I enjoy your posts! This one is great. I’ll make sure to relay it to my EC and the fruit of his loins (and mine… girls have loins, right?… I think they do).
I’d like to get you started about the toilet seat issue… More on that later? Yes. Let’s.
My wife has always considered me the falcon of the family. Finally, a reason why.