It shouldn’t work.
It really should’t work – but it does. And it works very well. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has a lay ministry. We don’t have professional pastors and priests. No one goes to the University to get a degree in Theology to become a Stake President or a Bishop. No one gets paid to lead the ward choir. (Although paid Scoutmasters seems appropriate…)
Instead, we all take turns filling those jobs on a temporary, volunteer basis. Now when we say “volunteer,” I don’t mean we throw our hat in the ring and say, ” Hey, vote for me for Primary President.” We wait for the opportunity to come to us, through what we refer to as a “calling.”
We serve in our callings for a period of time, then we figuratively stand up, walk around and sit down in another chair when the music stops. And it does work. The Church at all levels – from Ward and Stake on up – functions surprisingly well, considering the work is done by a bunch of volunteer temps.
I am first to admit that each of us find some callings to be more “attractive” than others. For example: To me, I wouldn’t bat an eye at being called to be the Gospel Doctrine instructor, because I like that sort of thing. On the other hand, my EC would rather serve was the Ward Diaper Changing Specialist than to teach Gospel Doctrine every week. (No, I don’t think there is a Ward Diaper Changing Specialist calling in the Church – but there could be.)
Every so often we get called to serve in a calling that we don’t really want, or don’t even like. It happens. Sometimes we are called to serve in a calling where we are totally unprepared, or unable to serve. Two quick stories about this situation.
A few years ago, a wonderful sister in our ward sat down in my Bishop’s office. For the sake of the story, let’s call her “Nancy.” (Mostly because her name IS Nancy, and she told me I could tell this story.) Nancy had that worried “Oh, no – what is it going to be?” look in her eyes.” I was planning on extending her a new calling, and she could tell.
I explained to her that we, as the bishopric, felt that she should serve as the Ward Organist, and sat back and waited for her response.
She said, “Yes,” but I was a little surprised that her eyes welled up with tears. I asked her what was wrong.
She told me that she felt that she was frequently called to callings that were hard for her – that she was inadequate for the job. This surprised me, because, as far as I had ever seen, she was remarkably competent and faithful in whatever she had been called to do. Dedicated and capable.
So I dug a little deeper, to understand her worries. She explained that she always felt a little inadequate for her callings, but told me she was OK, and was prepared to do her best, which, of course, is all we ever ask of anyone.
Then she dropped the bomb, “By the way, you do know that I don’t play the organ? I do play enough piano to accompany Junior Primary, but I have never played an organ before.”
That put me back on my heels. I spent few moments reflecting on Nancy, and the calling. Finally I said, “I don’t feel any indication that I should withdraw the calling. If it is OK with you, I would like to present your name, and get you started.”
She gave me her consent, and left.
Over the next two years, Nancy accompanied the congregation as we sang the hymns as a part of our worship. She was fabulous. I doubt the congregation had any idea what was really happening behind the scenes.
On a regular basis, as I was at the church mid-week, taking care of interviews or holding meetings, I would walk past the chapel and hear music. Inside, I would find Nancy, pounding out a hymn on the organ in an empty chapel – practicing for the next Sacrament meeting. It happened often.
Sunday would roll around, Nancy would play the organ, it would be fabulous. Then, after the meting, Nancy would apologize to me for making so many mistakes – I would laugh and tell her that I barely noticed. As time progressed, I stopped noticing mistakes all together. By the time of her release, Nancy had evolved into a remarkably proficient organist – through her dedication and willingness to work to fulfill her calling.
After she was released, Nancy stood up in testimony meeting and bore a lovely witness of what a blessing learning to play the organ had been in her life, and how much she had grown to love it, and love playing for the ward – even though, to her, it never became “easy.”
To this day, Nancy is one of my go-to examples of being willing to serve, even when it is seemingly illogical and improbable.
Elder Boyd K. Packer gave, (what I think) is the best instruction ever give about how callings work, and what our duty is. It is titled, “Called to Serve.” In it, there are a couple of concepts that a lot of church members might not “get,” but Nancy did.
“It is not in the proper spirit for us to decide where we will serve or where we will not. We serve where we are called. It does not matter what the calling may be.”
Once I had a sister get upset at me for calling her to be a Family History Consultant, when she was sure I was there to call her as the Relief Society President. It happens.
“While we do not ask to be released from a calling, if our circumstances change it is quite in order for us to counsel with those who have issued the call and then let the decision rest with them.”
When I was a young married father, I was called to be a Stake Missionary.” (I know! I’m old!) The High Councilor extended the call, and waited my response. Here is what I said:
“Yes. I would be glad to serve, but I need to let you know of my current circumstances: I am currently working two jobs, and am gone every evening. It would be impossible for me to fulfill the obligations as you have laid them out.”
The High Councilor withdrew the call, thanked me for letting him know. I thanked him, and apologized. Six months later, when I was back to one job, I was again called to be a Stake Missionary – and Ward Mission Leader, which I was able to do. Time and season.
(Probably a topic for another post, but that experience burned into my brain how completely inappropriate it is to extend a calling in a hallway, or over the pulpit without allowing time for a discussion. You never drop a potential hand-grenade in someone’s pocket as you pass them in the hall.)
Back to Elder Packer’s point “we do not ask to be released from a calling.” I agree. I have had lots of conversation with friends and family about this, and always say the same thing: Do not ask to be released. Go to the leader who called you and explain your situation. If you have health issues preventing you from serving, tell him. If you have time constraints, or feel overburdened, tell him. If you hate the calling, tell him. Then, have the faith in your leaders to let them make the determination as the Spirit directs. If the answer is to stick it out, then stick it out. Have faith, and figure out what the Lord wants you to learn.
It would have been easy for Nancy to say, “No way!” But she didn’t, and blessed many lives – including her own.
I have been taught all my life that callings are inspired. Much of the time I believe that they are. My sole experience with any kind of leadership-like calling was two years in a relief society presidency. The rest of the time I have been in callings that were teaching callings, being a single adult representative, or artistic sorts of callings and assignments.
Outside of the church I seem to get asked to lead and be in charge quite frequently. I was an Army Officer for 10 years and did more command time than most ever imagine. I do not aspire to leadership callings in church. But, as I have watched who gets certain callings at church in my ward and stake, there seem to be certain patterns of stratification of who gets called to certain kinds of callings and who receives apparent investment in development. Personal friends and associates of the Stake President are called to serve as counselors and as bishops. People the Stake President is comfortable with are kept in executive secretary callings for years. Wives of those individuals are called as relief society presidents and counselors or as stake auxiliary presidents. Men with similar professional and social standing as these local leaders are sought out to be helped when their faith waivers or their marriage has difficulties. These same individuals are later called into bishoprics. Former relief society presidents are called to be counselors in relief society presidencies. And they grow and develop. That is good.
Other patterns emerge. The relatively few single women and professional women get primary callings a lot and stay for several years. Often they get left as active, tithe paying pew warmers who go to the temple a lot. And they tend to fight hard to stay active in the church against growing feelings that they’ll never experience much else in church service. That is not so good.
The point isn’t to grumble but to note that many people who are called to lead in church can testify of how inspired their callings were. In those callings they grew so much. Their callings were visibly entrusted with an important work involving sacrifice, active mentorship, counseling with equally invested people, and other church leaders took an active interest and made an investment in them. The residue of the wards and stakes don’t necessarily get that intensive, actively invested from all sides experience. I don’t defend people having cynical attitudes about callings, and what some would see as pigeon-holing, grooming and networking in callings but I can understand how those attitudes might develop.
Is it normal to have 4 callings and not being released from any, so to have them all 4 simultaneausly? It started with one but now it’s already four. And I had a really hard time excepting the last two because I allready had two callings. Never experienced this before. And when addressing my concern that I think it’s too much I was being downplayed. I feet really frustrated and am losing my motivation for The church. How can I magnify all four of them. And I feel psychologically torn about this issue, because you’re “called by the lord” and I’ve never declined a calling before, and it feels like failure to ask to be released from a calling. I mean I just read the handbook and it the guideline is -one- calling if possible. How come I and other people sometimes have 4 callings at the same time, while there are plenty of people without a calling in our ward.
That is a great question. How did your bishop answer it?
My great grandfather….Bishop, Stake Presidency, High Councilor, ordinance worker, missionary….spent the last 8 years of his life after grandma passed away…teaching CTR7….getting kids ready to be baptized. (I love that my Aaronic PH line of authority goes me, him, Harold B Lee….)
Several years ago we lived “in the mission field” I was serving as a councilor in the EQ, Institute teacher (40 minute drive east from where we lived) and was the group leader where the stake wanted to try and get a branch started. This meant that we drove 20 miles south to our ward meetings with 5 kids under 9 years old, attended a full block of meetings, then drove an addition 20 miles north of where we lived to conduct another block of meetings. The main reason for this was the bad winter weather coupled with the distance and age of the members in that northern area.
As was my habit while driving to institute, I would have a discussion with the Lord. One evening I was murmurring about the futility of it all. 90% of the members at the group meeting also attended the ward meetings and fulfill callings, then attend again in hopes of eventually getting a branch closer to home. Our ward was large, geographically, as in several towns and villages, so my EQ duties kept me busy. My poor EC had 5 small children at home and I was often away on week to month long training deployments (mid 1990’s), so she had to learn to use a snow blower due to lake effect snow and ice storms. Oh, and she was YW president. We were both very tired. Very softly, but firmly the impression came to my mind….”I know what I am doing, now be still”
A couple of months later, the Stake President invited me, my bishop, and the bishop of a neighboring ward into a meeting. something un-expected was happening. there is always turnover in wards that have a lot of military in them. In this case, ALL but one of the Melchizedek priesthood holders of the second ward, including the bishop, would be moving over the course of the spring, even the non-military. the lone remaining brother was aged and home bound.
Our instructions were to redraw the boundaries between the two wards. further guidance was that specific families would be moved to the other ward, and others would remain in the first ward. This meant that one village would be extensively gerrymandered, even within one neighborhood. A lot of faith went into that division. the new bishop was actually asked to move his family to a new home within the boundaries, because there was no way to gerrymander the stake that far. All of us learned a great deal, we all still had multiple callings, And the next year, enough people moved into the area to refill both wards, and get us our own phase 2 building!
Our current 11-yr-old Scout Leader is a former temple president!!!
Thank you for writing this post. I was just released as the first counselor in the Relief Society, and called into nursery. I had no idea that this change was coming. I really loved my calling in the RS, and it was a hard change. As a direct result of being called to nursery, I was able to forgive someone who had been pretty mean to me. Callings are not always going to be what we want, but it is amazing to see what the Lord wants to teach us with different callings.
This ties in with my other comment.
“One who has authority to issue a call must rely on inspiration to avoid overburdening those who are always willing.” Boyd K. Packer.
I have two stories for you.
Several years ago, I was called to four different callings: Visiting Teacher (totally a calling, you can’t say it isn’t), enrichment board, activity day leader, and a made-up calling as Primary Specialist (basically, I had to report to the Primary president every Sunday to see what she needed done that day, ie. teach, play piano, etc. I also did odd jobs for her during the week). Keep in mind that our ward was large, and full of talented and capable people. Why I had so many callings is anybody’s guess (I have my theories which I will expound on later).
As a visiting teacher, my partner refused to help me, and even laughed about her apathy. My activity days group was large, and the girls would often overwhelm me with their rowdiness, to the point that they couldn’t even hear me when I tried to call their attention to what we were supposed to be doing. My partner wouldn’t come, and, after volunteering to help, the first counselor in the primary presidency eventually stopped coming.
During my time in the primary, the president became more and more controlling. She would give me assignments that weren’t within my authority. When I mentioned this, she said she knew, and had done it so that what she really wanted me to do wouldn’t seem so hard. She would hover over me, criticize my best efforts, and when I asked for help, she told me that since she was doing her callings by herself (as primary president and cub scout pack leader), that I could, too. I managed the best I could. I had a little boy at home, and my husband was in school and working, and was never home.
I felt extremely overwhelmed and troubled. I didn’t want to ask to be released, but after being verbally and emotionally abused I couldn’t handle anymore. I asked the counselor over the primary if I could be released, and I told him why. He said he completely understood, and that he would take care of it. Naturally, guilt set in, and I talked to him again a few days later, and said I would try and stick it out. I made the mistake of telling the primary president that I had asked to be released, and, as you can imagine, things only got worse.
As the weeks wore on, I got more and more weighed down. I didn’t know it at the time, but I was expecting my second child, and no doubt that was contributing to my fatigue and feelings of anxiety. I again asked to be released. When the primary president called me up to check up on my primary callings, I told her that I was being released. Her response was, “Fine. I guess I’ll do my calling, your calling, and everyone else’s calling.” I couldn’t manage more than a weak, “Okay,” before hanging up. She succeeded in making me terrified of her. I was released, and just in time, since I became severely depressed and nauseated with my second pregnancy and sitting upright was difficult.
Fast forward seven years. I was in a different ward (a big one, full of talented and capable people), and, again, I was loaded up with callings: Visiting Teacher, Ward Organist, Choir pianist, RS pianist, and Cub Den leader (and before that, nursery worker and primary teacher).
These callings were great, and I enjoyed serving. I went through different seasons, as I had babies, and was released from being ward organist, scouts, and relief society.
That left being choir pianist, and, eventually, they called me to also be primary pianist.
After three years of being in choir, a new choir director was called. She was new to the ward, and I was somewhat trepidatious about working with her, since I didn’t know anything about her. There were two of us playing as choir pianists, and both of us had multiple callings, which made it hard for us to come to choir at the time she wanted us there. When I mentioned this to her, she told me that she could manage fine without either of us (quite the feat, no?). As time wore on, she made me feel extremely unwelcome at choir. She wouldn’t give me any additional music (she allowed me one piece) to practice when I asked, telling me there wasn’t any, only to give several pieces to my partner.During practice she would stop the choir mid-song to stare at me, sharply asking me what I was doing. When I explained, other choir members would pipe up (including her husband) that we were all in the same place, but she was somewhere else in the music, and she was confusing the rest of us by not explaining. I would go home upset, and spent my time in primary crying at the piano, dreading choir practice after church. Believe you me, I debated for weeks whether or not I should ask to be released. I prayed a lot, cried a lot, and was, admittedly, angry a lot.
It was on one of these Sundays that the counselor over primary pulled me aside and told me that he would like to extend a calling to me and my husband as primary teachers. I jumped at the chance to ask to be released from choir. I felt as though the Lord was keeping me in primary to keep me safe. As naive and childish as that may sound, that is how I saw it.
I won’t ask you if I was wrong to ask to be released in either of those situations. That is between me and God, and I can tell you that I experienced exquisite and acute guilt and self-doubt. I felt like I had let God down, and that He couldn’t trust me. I felt like I had failed miserably.
I feel, however, that God is more understanding, compassionate and loving than we could ever comprehend. I would like to think that He looked down on me and saw my aching heart, and hurt for me.
The Savior, while atoning for our sins, asked for the bitter cup to be removed. While my cup wasn’t nearly as horrible, and while I am no more sinless than anyone else on God’s good green earth, it gives me hope that if the Savior could go through the depths of Hell, and ask for reprieve, that maybe, I, weak creature that I am, won’t be found as wanting as I tend to believe I am.
I wonder if these things would have even happened had other people been called to these callings instead of me.
In our current ward, people have refused “low” callings, like primary, nursery, and music positions. So, those few faithful Saints who don’t refuse callings are given the burden of picking up and pulling the yoke of the entire ward. I have my suspicions that this is what happened in my previous ward.
Why did the primary president have to be the pack leader as well, in such a big and talented ward?
Why, in my current large and talented ward, did the former choir director have callings as stake camp director and primary teacher?
Why did my partner in choir have callings as stake primary secretary and primary chorister?
These sisters were worn down, but wouldn’t ask to be released. No doubt they were blessed for their endurance, but I know for certain, since they told me, that they longed to be released and were anxious for it.
It seems to me there is a compound problem. The Saints who refuse to serve leave the functioning of the ward to those who can’t stand by and watch it fall apart. And so, over time, they become bone-weary.
Our current primary presidency is struggling to find teachers, even though they have tried to make it easier on potential teachers, by having them teach every other week.
Should people refuse callings? No, I don’t think so, assuming that they were called by inspiration (which isn’t always the case). While entitled to the guidance of the Holy Spirit, they are men, and at times speak and act as men. This is the same for all leaders of the church.
Should people ask to be released? I think that is a very personal choice, and one I am still trying to reconcile with myself. I think there are times when people need to call out for help, and ask for relief. I’m afraid that by saying “don’t ask to be released,” some poor soul will feel like they are somehow delinquent or evil for going to the Bishopric in all humility with a plea for reprieve. I’m all for the concept of “[lifting] where you stand,” and perhaps even standing until you can stand no more. I would break my body into pieces for the Lord. The trouble came when I had other Saints industriously breaking me down.
If you reread the post, you will see where “Don’t ask to be released” is followed by a very clear example of how you can address the issue with whomever issued the calling. Then, if you are released, it is by mutual agreement, with leadership’s approval – so there should be no questions or guilt whatsoever.
I wish more overburdened saints would open a dialogue with their leaders instead of suffering in silence.
I did read it. The problem is that we have been told not to murmur, and not to ask for a change. So, that is why people don’t, and if they do, they feel that they are somehow faulty. The first time I talked about getting released, I did exactly what President Packer suggested. But that doesn’t erase what other leaders have done to keep the saints plugging along: don’t complain; don’t refuse; endure to the end; be valiant. It kind of shuts up a person. It’s implied that to do otherwise is wrong. It’s kind of like when there are YM/YW lessons on chastity, and the teenagers get the wrong idea and feel horrible guilt for having normal feelings, and grow up having skewed views about sex, and have warring feelings once they are married. The doctrine is sound, but the presentation is lacking. So, while what President Packer said was true and sound, it’s been buried by well-meaning local leaders who say we shouldn’t complain. It’s hard to reconcile those two fields of thought. I think all people have taken from President Packer’s talk was “Don’t refuse a calling,” and “Don’t ask to be released.” It’s like the Word of Wisdom, also. People focus on the don’ts, and completely block out the dos. Hence why we have so many carnivorous saints, despite the Lord’s counsel. So maybe what needs to start happening is that Bishops and their counselors should read that talk, and then apply those concepts, telling their members exactly what he said: Come and discuss if there is a problem.
I agree completely that “Bishops and their counselors should read that talk, and then apply those concepts..” But I also believe that the members share the responsibility – it is our duty to read and study and know these things. The talks are there for the reading – these ideas are not secrets that only leadership has access to.
That is true, but they also need to have receptive leaders, who oil the cogs, and not just make them run until they fall apart. Even in your own post, you only addressed it as sort of a last, side thought. I think that’s what happens with these kinds of things. People are so focused on making the machine run, that they forget that the parts are people. It’s a social faux pas within the church to say anything. It’s become a cultural thing that to be the “good” saint you have to hang on to the bitter end, no matter the consequences.
Great post! 9 months ago, I was throwing up at home with a migraine. 5 min til church started I got a call from my bishop asking me to be 2nd counselor in the Primary Presidency. I said yes(in a daze) and hung up the phone. I woke up hours later, feeling better and checked my call log to see if that really happened or was a dream….it happened. I’ve never served in the primary, but would never say no, and it’s been fantastic. As I see how hard it is to fill some callings (particularly primary callings)I’ve learned the importance of sitting in the bishops office and having a chance to feel a confirmation of the calling. Nancy, from the story, is fantastic! Her faith is inspiring.
Such a great story. While I believe each person should have confirmation of revelation I also believe we should never reject a calling. I have been blessed in so many callings I never thought I would ever enjoy. I did counsel with the bishop once because I was newly pregnant and sick a lot so I couldn’t fulfill the obligations of being a ward missionary. I struggled with going to talk to him but after much prayer felt like it was the right thing to do. He was so relieved that I came to him because he had no idea that I was pregnant but also they had been trying to find someone to fill another calling. He released me and called me to that calling and all was right with the world.
I am not sure where you get the nerve to say others can’t turn down callings or asked to be released. The whole notion that all callings are inspired is ludicrous.
I, for example, have turned down the call to be pianist every time they have asked. Which sounds horrendous, sure. But the first four times I was called I did not have any working knowledge of the piano (other than that the keys make noise when you touch them), so I couldn’t have told you what any note was on a piano or sheet music to play. There is no way “the spirit” lead them to that.
What this taught me, is that people confuse their emotions/desires and call it the “spirit”, and it happens all the time. That is not necessarily a character flaw, it is called being human, we feel things, big deal.
So get off your soap box, and stop telling people what to do. If you don’t ever want to turn down a calling or ask to be released good for you. But stop dictating how others should feel about their own decisions.
Thank you for your lovely comment. Two things:
1) Although I would like to claim credit for the idea that you shouldn’t turn down callings, I must give full credit to the prophets, and particularly, the Apostle Boyd K. Packer.
2) I decided to include your comment to show a contrast to the stories of faith and sustaining that have already been submitted. It serves as a good cautionary tale.
The only cautionary tale here is the danger of thinking someone can’t turn down a calling. Yes people can, stop the spiritual blackmail that says they can’t. Boyd Packer is fallible, it does matter what the call is.
Not all callings are inspired, as evidence of the several times I have been called to be a pianist.
Or maybe you should have taken the repeated hints, and learned to play the piano.
Nope.
It is called wards are desperate for pianists and my roommates thought it would be a funny joke to tell them I played.
Nice try.
A couple of years ago, I was called to be a ward organist, and was in the same situation as Nancy from your story, though I didn’t feel proficient enough to accompany primary on the piano yet. Over the next several months, the many people in the ward seemed not to notice when I made mistakes or dropped the accompaniment partially or completely for up to a measure at a time.
I was released from that calling when I changed wards, and just today received the same calling again. This post, for me, is an added witness that I’m being called to exactly where I’m needed to serve, and I know I will be blessed in my efforts once again.
Thank you, MMM, for this post, and for being generally willing to write as you are directed.
I agree with you that we shouldn’t generally ask to be released from a calling (there may be rare cases where it would be acceptable), but that we should communicate with our leaders.
A few years ago I began working downtown (added thirty minutes each way to my commute), and I also started a master’s program at the same time. This combination was extremely difficult for me, especially after being out of school for seven years.
Although I had enjoyed being the 11-year old scout leader (not as hard as the scoutmaster), I felt like I was up against a wall. I was under a lot of pressure at work. School was very difficult for me (lots of math and my brain wasn’t used to it). Both work and school needed extra time, but I felt there was no room for either. After taking my first midterm I felt like something had to change.
I e-mailed the Bishop’s two counselors and briefly explained the situation. One replied that he would give me a call. My wife and I gave the matter a lot of prayer, but I didn’t feel any specific direction on whether I should continue in the calling or not. The Bishopric member asked me if I thought I should be released, but due to the lack of revelation on the matter I could just say “I don’t know.” This Bishopric member told me he would get back to me.
I realized that I was not authorized to answer the question on whether I should be released. I might be authorized to know whether I should accept or reject a calling (I believe each member should seek their own confirmation of the inspiration of callings but act in faith when necessary). For extending or releasing a calling, however, it was the Bishopric who had the right to revelation on this, not me.
Eventually the Bishopric did feel that a release was in order. The calling they actually called me to was the Ward Organist (and for me this is a very easy calling).
I have some of the same burdens now with school, but now I just recently got called as the Assistant Ward Clerk for Finance. I’ve accepted that calling in faith, and pray that I can do everything that requires.
Funny thing is that they are having a hard time finding a new Ward Organist. I’m still serving in that calling, which is fine with me.
“I realized that I was not authorized to answer the question on whether I should be released.” What a great thought!
I have received many callings during my time in the church. Many times I knew a change was coming, although I have never known where I was going. I have always tried to do my best and feel the Lord did bless me as I tried. I DO have a firm testimony of being set apart before starting. It is such a blessing and help to have that setting apart before getting started. For me, it has been the difference between going forward and frustration. I also have a testimony that Heavenly Father is aware of us and puts us where we can grow. We are called to learn and serve. Every now and then we have something to share, but usually we are called to learn. It’s a great thing…..
I’ve seen similar stories. A sister was called a while back to be the choir director. She said after a few minutes she noticed the bishopric counselor wasn’t laughing along with her, and realized it wasn’t a joke. She said, “you do know I can’t even read music, right?” He extended the call anyway, she accepted anyway, and the choir went on to do amazing things under her guidance. It seemed crazy at the time, but it truly was an inspired call.
On my father’s death bed, he very insistently asked me to promise him that I will accept every calling that gets extended to me. I didn’t really believe in that and told him so, trying not to upset him. It’s been 8 years and I have lived up to my promise. This article helps me to understand that it is possible to show willingness to accept the call while at the same time sharing your concerns, then leave it up to their inspiration to proceed. I would also rather be the ward diaper changing specialist than a gospel doctrine teacher.
I laughed when I read the article! Several years ago, I was called into the Bishop’s office and knew it would be to get a calling. He extended the call to be the RS pianist. I told him I was taught to never turn down a calling, and I wouldn’t turn this one down. But he should know that I took 6 years of piano lessons, and couldn’t play at all. I believe in miracles, but I have a feeling the Lord isn’t going to bless me with the ability to play when I didn’t practice at all those 6 years! At first he laughed and told me he had never been told that before, and agreed that it wasn’t a good fit. Turns out they meant to call another sister with the same first name! Coincidentally, I’m starting piano lessons up again this week!
Such great comments! They were a wonderful addition to the post.
I was the Relief Society President for nearly 3 years. I had casually asked the Bishop if I was going to do another year, because we were starting to plan our theme and activities for the next year. A few weeks later, I was released. It was October, so I wasn’t able to finish out the year with what we had planned (our theme was The Living Christ and we had been memorizing it and the lessons were all based around it). It was a little hard. 1 1/2 weeks later, my 22 year old son was in a motorcycle accident and had to be life flighted to the hospital with a broken leg bone, compound fracture in both arm bones, and broken wrist. After 2 major surgeries and 4 days in the hospital, we moved him back home with us to recuperate. I had to do everything for him. He is still here, and still can’t put full weight on his leg. How grateful I am to have been released before this happened. I was called to be the ward chorister, which I can easily do right now! Heavenly Father knows what we can handle and what we are capable of doing.
Wow. Nancy has a lot of faith and is very brave. Someone to look up to when I accept callings for sure. Thank you for sharing that story!
Thank you for sharing Nancy’s story. It’s a great example of how the Lord lifts and helps us to grow if we’ll just trust Him. It was once my responsibility to call a brother to be a counselor in the Bishopric of a ward in our stake. His Bishop, a very faithful man who knew how to listen to the Spirit, had recommended him and we, as a Stake Presidency, had felt the very clear confirmation of the Spirit in approving the calling. Upon extending the call to him, the good brother, sitting next to his wife, proceeded to politely explain to me the difficulties he experienced with just *coming* to a large public gathering like Sacrament Meeting, including the medication he took to do so in order that he could be faithful in keeping that commandment. I was bracing for the inevitable “I don’t think I can accept this calling” when he grabbed his wife’s hand, looked at her and said to me, “…but if that’s what the Lord wants me to do, I’ll do it.” I rejoiced at this humble and significant leap of faith because I have learned that whenever someone takes a leap of faith like that, miracles are the result.
And miracles did indeed occur. It took time, patience and persistence but his capacity to attend public meetings and be comfortable, learning even to conduct them in a dignified and appropriate manner, was increased as he submitted himself to the Lord’s will. He not only fulfilled but magnified this calling, becoming a much loved member of the Bishopric of that ward. The Bishopric was released some time thereafter and this brother was then called to be a Stake High Councilor where he was assigned to travel to a strange (to him) ward filled with people he did not know, assigned monthly to speak and conduct Stake Business. Some time after he’d been serving in that calling, I was contacted by the Bishop of the ward to which he was assigned. That Bishop commented that his ward so enjoyed having this brother assigned to them because of the manner in which he humbly and faithfully fulfilled his calling that the Bishop was making the request that this brother never be reassigned to another unit. They loved him.
Once again, I rejoiced at how faithful God is in responding to expressions of faith. When we leap, He *always* responds and rewards that leap with increased capacity, just like Nancy in your ward. It’s not always immediate and it nearly always takes persistence, diligence and patience – but oh how their lives and the lives of others are blessed in return.
I find it very inspired that you posted this messag today because I needed it! I was called just to today to be one of the ward organists. I haven’t played the organ for several years and have been worried and stressed since the call was extended just this morning. Your post helped to remind me that I need to trust in the Lord & practice, practice, practice. Thanks to Nancy (and you sharing her story) it became evident that I can do this. Thanks for being inspired to strengthen my resolve today!
While I agree with what you’ve said, I have to throw in that, while Elder Hinckley (at the time) was in our stake conference to release my dad after thirteen years of serving as the stake president, he told the leaders that Dad should be given a “vacation” to rest up from all the years of service. During the conference meeting, however, it came to Elder Hinckley’s attention that our stake patriarch had died. He announced offer the pulpit that my dad was being called as the patriarch. As he returned to his seat, he leaned over to Dad and said, “Short vacation.”
HAHAHA!!! I’m sorry, I can’t help it. This has me laughing so hard! That sounds SO MUCH like something he would do. I can just picture him now.
How funny❤️
Years ago when I was an unhappy stay-at-home mom of a 2 year old and a newborn, I was called to be an assistant in the nursery. Poof! There went my two hours of the week (SS and RS) and almost all of my weekly adult conversation. I accepted and cried all the way home. And every Sunday for the next six weeks. And then our ward boundaries were redrawn and we found ourselves in a brand new ward, which meant no more nursery. Hallelujah! The new bishop called me in to meet and issued me a call as the nursery LEADER this time. Accepted but more tears. We were swamped with tiny kids and although I had an assistant I asked other sisters to come help us out. From watching and interacting with some sisters who were past the toddler years, I learned how much they valued little children, spent time with them, and found joy in the journey. I began to see my role as a mother much differently. Over the years my knowledge of the importance of the first five years of life grew and grew. I finally went back to school to obtain my teaching degree and now work with young children every day. All because I had been taught not to refuse a calling. The Lord directed the footsteps of the rest of my life and I am grateful that I let him.
How I needed this today. A few months ago I was called as a Relief Society President in the midst of the busiest I have ever been. I was shocked at the calling because I work full time, run a LDS blog, and spend all my vacations at flying to the U.N. to protect and defend the family, and will be going to grad school in a year and a half to help me with the work I feel compelled to do. All good and important things, two of which could be considered non-traditional gospel-related “callings” in and of themselves. I told the Bishop that I had absolutely no idea how I could be a R.S. president with all of this and still minister to the sisters and families of the ward, and asked him, knowing all that I had told him, if this changed anything. He said that over and over again, my name came was crystal clear and I was who Heavenly Father needed at this time. I felt prompted to accepted the calling, and I know it had to be inspired because it was so left-field. I knew I needed to accept this calling, and knew that if I didn’t, I would regret it for the rest of my life, knowing I could have ministered to God’s children and didn’t because I felt too busy. I am learning so much and finding all sorts of unique ways to serve, delegate and teach and lead. I am focusing on the essentials: deepening conversion and the ministry of visiting teaching. I’m paring down the *unnecessary fluff* or *over the top cultural expectations* in the church (which is what can kill is in our callings!) We’re getting back to the basics, delegating and allowing others to serve. And guess what? It’s becoming more and more manageable with the help of the Lord. I am more earnest in my daily prayers and scripture study. It has made me more humble, meek and reliant on Him whose children and Church this is. I can really feel the Lord stretching me, helping and guiding me, and maximizing my time. It’s a miracle that I can only attribute to the grace of God.
I really appreciated your comments. I had a similar experience when called as Relief Society President. I had a family of elementary school children, a husband who worked out of town, and was beginning my last year of Nursing School taking a full load of college credits. I knew if I declined the call I would always wonder what blessings I would forfeit. I was given a blessing while being set apart to be able to learn easily, and to be able to organize my time so all would be blessed. I have never been better organized or able to accomplish so much because I had turned my heart to service to the Lord.
I also had a similar experience when I was called a few years ago as RS President…I had been feeling overwhelmed by my responsibilities as a mom, wife and full time teacher and had been praying that somehow I could find a way to lighten my load…and then was called as RS President. It ended up being one of the best experiences of my life…I experienced first hand the enabling power of the Atonement and felt so strongly the Lord’s love for me and for the women of my ward. It’s not overstating things to say that it deeply changed me and I was able to do more than before with less stress and better results. Callings are a great blessing and to me great evidence that the Lord knows each of us personally and knows what we need as well as how we can minister to others. As I talked with a non LDS coworker one day, I explained a bit about my calling and she was somewhat incredulous…why couldn’t they ask someone retired or without young children and a job?…To the world that makes more sense but I will forever be thankful that I was called and had the privilege to serve. And I am thankful for many other callings over the years that have blessed my life and (I hope) allowed me to bless others’ lives.
When it doesn’t make sense is when it is obviously inspired!
This Nancy is working to earn the blessings mentioned when I was set apart as (gasp) Gospel Doctrine teacher. I’m learning and it’s coming.
Other than life and work circumstances, I have asked to be released once. I was already actively serving in the ward as Ward Music Chairman and Choir Director (yes, those are two separate callings) and teaching in High Priests Group. After the bishop called me into his office to call me to my fourth calling, as a Webelos leader, I told him my other obligations took up most of my available time on Sundays and prep time during the week. I explained (calmly and politely of course) that if I was to take on this additional burden – I mean, blessing – that I would like to be released from (at least) the High Priest Instructor position. He told me he would speak to the High Priest Group Leader, who later told the incoming Instructor that “the last guy couldn’t find the time”.
Haha. I’m the ward organist in my ward. I’m a basically competent pianist, and I play the organ as if it were a piano, with some modification in my technique to hopefully sound okay. I like the calling, actually a lot, but I was a little intimidated when I was first called because the lady before me is a brilliant pianist, and a very good organist, and I am no where near as good as she is. But it doesn’t matter because even if I played horribly (which I do on occasion) nobody judges me, and if nothing else, I am making a joyful noise unto the Lord.
I am in your shoes and know that feeling exactly. And we still keep playing.