3) The disappointment that some of you will feel if you find out that I truly am a boring, middle-aged mormon man that isn’t in your ward.
4) There is a huge well of information and stories I can draw on if I am not worried about protecting my identity.
5) If you have my real name, maybe some of you will send me Ben & Jerry’s coupons to show your appreciation for the long, laborious hours I spend trying to enlighten you.
6) If all the people that know and love me find out that I have a blog, I might increase my readership by 3-4 hits a week.
7) MIndi can stop asking if I am Dieter Uchtdorf.
8) Will you guys be more or less open and honest with your comments if you know who I am?
9) I can stop explaining when I mistakenly use my MMM email account when I am at work.
So, there are some thoughts. Now I am asking your opinion. There is a survey in the upper-right hand column. Please choose one, then write a comment explaining what you think I should do, and why. I would like to know your thoughts. I figure if all ten of you vote, there should be a clear preference.
Also, if any of you have gone through this same quandary, please tell me about what you did, and how it turned out.
Thanks for your help, and for reading. I promise I will read and carefully consider every one of your comments and then proceed to do exactly what my EC tells me to do.
All my best,
-MMM-
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Grant, no offense intended with the “lame” comment. My kid goes to USU. I graduated from WSU. My husband and I met at the U of U (sort of), and he graduated from there, but then went on to graduate from BYU (J. Reuben Clark) Law School. Our loyalties could be all over the place. I just believe in picking one and staying true, losers or not. (Sometimes this is very difficult, as we are also Redskins fans.) I do this out of respect for my father-in-law, who died recently, and who served our country in the CIA for 35 years until cancer took him. In all of his transfers, all the places he lived, all over the world, he refused to ever step foot in Switzerland….. because they didn’t pick a side. May your loyalties lie where they may. If they are on the fence, perhaps you will get called a “fair-weather fan” or something of the sort, but I agree with you in that loyalty to your kids is the most important thing. And marching band is awesome.
(MMM – Also sorry for hijacking, but Grant deserved an answer, right?)
Mama sez: Don’t do it!
JeffC
I think keeping some anonymity is good. Some know my first name, few know my last name, even fewer know exactly where I live, some good friends know all, but most only know what I want them to know. You can tell what you need to tell without telling who you are. We will still read you. Those of us that read you will read you no matter what. Oh sure there are some that may not, but for the most part we are a forgiving and loving bunch of folks. It really is about what YOU feel confortable with. So I’m a half and half…….=0)
Brandice-
Why is it “LAME” to root for both the U and the Y? I do. Here’s why (not “Y” even if maybe I went there):
1. I have children currently attending both schools, even on the playing field!! (well, at least in the respective marching bands).
2. I don’t really like sports that much but I really like my kids – almost all the time!
3. When they play each other, I usually root for the one that is behind. There is a famous story among my kids’ friends (mostly blue) about the year my UofU boy was in foreign lands on a mission. I wore red in his honor. When BYU fell far behind, I went and switched to blue. Sports and kids aren’t good for much unless they can break your heart and humble you a little.
(MMMM – sorry for hijacking, bro. Stay secret and happy!)
Whatever you do, don’t sit on the fence. That’s like coming out of the closet halfway. Or saying you root for both BYU and the U. LAME. Either full disclosure or nothing. Whatever your EC says is okay with her.
In my opinion, #1) by all means, a parent’s job is to embarrass their kids. If you have to share their names to do it, do it. But I have to warn you that one of my children said she was embarrassed too many times and it started to make her feel bad. My mature response was, of course, to tell her to stop reading my blog. #2) Jeffrey Holland is my hero. You go right ahead and stamp your name to your claims. And be proud doing it. Very admirable. #3) If you were in my ward, I would know who you were, because you would be the one in the back row of Sunday School sitting next to my husband making lame jokes the whole time. #4) Less identity = more stories? Bring it on. #5) I may not send you free coupons, but I will send you a reminder post about Free Cone Day, which is the last Tuesday in April every year, as every true B&J fan knows. #7) Mindi wasn’t the only one who thought you were Dieter. #8) I have a hard time not being honest in my comments whether I know the person or not. Sometimes this backfires on me. I’ve learned to live with it. #9)Yeah, I hear you about using the wrong email account. I sent a message to a girlfriend once using an address my husband and I use privately (just lovingly, not anything weird). She laughed pretty hard at my user name and still continues to give me crap about it. Bad move.
Beyond that, every time I post anything, I get freaked out about people knowing enough that someone will start stalking my children, steal my identity, or run over my cat because they know where I live and what he looks like. I calm myself down by hoping that people might know enough about me personally that they may possibly bring me food, weed my front yard, send me free coupons, and just kidnap either my cat or my children for a few hours or so when they are driving me crazy.
I voted yes. Because I DO want to know. Doesn’t mean you should…
Cathy: Danke. Ich versuche und treffe eine weise entscheidung.
Foist?
I voted yes, but I’ll keep reading regardless because you have good things to say. Ultimately, you can’t foist this decision onto us, you have to do what you think is best for you. And we’ll cope with your decision… even if it turns out you’re not President Uchtdorf!
I’ll admit I’m curious as to who you are, but I think if I found out, it wouldn’t be as fun to read your blog anymore. I like thinking, “maybe MMM is my stake president! Or maybe he’s that guy on the back row who never says anything!” Being anonymous makes you more “universal.” More like “everyman.” So I vote for you to stay anonymous.
Jenny in NC
Now her is a strange thing, I was so wrapped up in the content, I never consciously noticed that you were anonymous as a blogger!
I voted reveal, my reasons,
I think if you can’t say something as yourself perhaps you shouldn’t be saying it.
I’m not convinced that the thought sharing of your name on the internet will cause masses of identity fraud is true.
Over 50% of my blog readers are family friends and generally people I know in the “real” world so I guess if I was anonymous my readership would be half what it is.
Finally, it is strange how you never see President Uchtdorf and MMM blog at the same time ????? Or am I just reading too much into that ?? 🙂
If you would have asked this right after I first found your blog, I would have said reveal for sure. The curiosity was killing me. But now, I enjoy your posts and insights just because. If I knew your name, it would really make no difference..but decision is a tough one… I am also only posting as anonymous because blogger won’t let me comment otherwise. Seems to be a regular problem for me lately??
I voted “no”.
I find it interesting that you worded your question as you did. “Do you want to know who I am?” as opposed to “Should I reveal my identity?”
The second question would have summed up your post. The first does not; it is more about what your readers want and less about what is right for you. Maybe I am over-analyzing your wording but I still find it interesting.
Also, your reasons for considering this decision seem to boil down to #2 and #4. Tall Girl Running has already given my answer to #2 and has done it much better than I could. As for #4, I agree with Thomas’ comment about unringing the bell.
And that kinda brings in #1, which – although said in apparent jest – should be seriously considered, in my opinion. Your children do not appear to have had any input into a decision that will affect their lives too, not just yours. In #4 you say you have a lot of stories to draw on if you are not concerned about protecting your identity. If these stories include ones about your family, have you considered how you will protect their preferences about being identified? I guess all I am saying is you may indeed “embarrass” your children, and it may be too late to retrieve your good relationship with them if you do.
My two cents. From someone who doesn’t even blog because I am just that determined to protect my own personal life and privacy, and that of my family 🙂
I vote for staying anonymous. I really want to know where you live though!
My original opinion of staying anonymous has remained unchanged and I voted as such.
I’ve been pondering, however, the question you raised about an “anonymous witness” having less impact than one whose name is signed in bold print.
I don’t know that I agree.
I think an anonymous witness can actually have a very profound impact, especially on those who may be silently struggling with their own belief and testimony. By keeping your name and face hidden, you’ve essentially denied a human instinct to judge based only upon surface qualities. We don’t know what you look like or how you dress; we don’t know how much money you make or how a big a house you own; we really don’t know any of the aspects of your life that may cause us to pass judgement on the words you write and whether or not we deem them worthy enough to contemplate and absorb.
An anonymous witness isn’t burdened by that possibility, however. You could open minds and touch hearts of those who otherwise might not pay attention, simply because you bear your testimony of the truths you believe without being backed by the status of your name and the person you are in “real life”. That, to me, seems a more courageous move in some ways than putting your name in bold print.
The nice thing about being anonymous is that people can paint you into someone they can relate to.
As an author on multiple blogs myself, sometimes I wish I could be anonymous, because then I can say those hard things that sometimes need to be said. When people disagree or feel the need to call you names, you realize they don’t even know who you are…. it’s less painful.
Besides, what are you going to do when the people in your Ward give you the perfect fodder for a post and then you can’t use it because they will feel criticized by you. UGGHH!! The horror! But if anonymous “discusses” a certain something, it’s easier to swallow because people will assume the person that is being referred to is someone other than themselves.
That’s my view. I vote for keeping the mask.
Maybe if you just posted your first name and last initial – then people would know what to call you, you keep your anonymity to a certain extent but those who know you personally will know that this is your blog. That way you don’t ever have to hide anything, can use personal stories, and yet walk the fence of security/anonymity. Oh, and to help some of those who picture you as the guy pulling the handcart, you better get older and grow a beard. Signed, Jeff C.
I want to change my vote. (I voted “reveal”) but on reflection, while I would really like to know who you are mainly so I can stop wondering about everyone I see on the streets of SLC, especially those visiting the Church Office Building, I think for the general public you should remain anonymous (so just tell me who you are secretly!) I finally met the famous Ardis Parshall of Keepapitchinin and found her most delightful! Keep up the good work, but unidentified publicly – you can even add an “M” for “Mysterious Middle-aged Mormon Man” Thanks, MMMM!
You know, Superman struggled with this too. When he revealed himself to Lois, it turned out best in the end that she not know. If you do reveal yourself and it turns out poorly, is your kiss Super enough and Powerful enough to change things back to anonymity? Maybe you larger than life beings can counsel together. *;-.)
Thing is….if you do, people in your ward will know you’ve been sitting back there having mental corrective comments and then blogged about them.
BTW, if you and your “Super-ness” crosses MY mind, I like the mental picture of Middle-aged man pulling the handcart
One last request….if you decide to reveal, can we have a contest where we get to guess who you are first? Maybe with great prizes to the winner(s)?
In my own middling opinion, #4 is the best reason to reveal yourself; #8 is the best reason to stay anonymous. Which outweighs the other? I don’t know.
I do know this….you shouldn’t reveal yourself unless it becomes compelling, because you can’t “unring the bell” as they say. Once the decision is made to reveal your true identity, that decision cannot be undone. If you decide to maintain your anonymity, that decision can be undone at some point in the future if it becomes necessary or desirable.
To sum up….if it’s a close call, err on the side of caution.
Also, the handcart guy? Really? When I picture MMM, he’s the picture in the right-column, the one with the mid 1960s guy in the tie, kneeling in his Sansabelt slacks, greying temples, one hand in a fist and the other rumpling his brylcreemed hair.
One hand over my mouth, indeed.
I vote to keep your anonymity. I doubt that you’ll use your powers of pseudonymity for nefarious purposes: you won’t be evil speaking of anyone who doesn’t deserve it and isn’t a position of authority, you won’t be trying to destroy anyone’s faith or testimony. So it isn’t a question of the protection that keeping your identity secret, but with the way that it would change your writing style (and, sometimes, you choice of subjects).
Take this as a potential circumstance where you might want to keep your current superhero disguise: imagine that you discover that one of your stalwart sons was visiting a friend and events transpired where some time was spent on a porn website. Your son, being stalwart, feels guilty and asks your advice, and you have a great, growing experience with him. Your bond with the boy is strengthened, his testimony is strengthened: it’s a tough experience, but in the end, everybody wins. It is an experience that, when filtered through your middle aged Mormon eyes, might be particularly strengthening to me.
But if you were known by your real self, and your boys were similarly outted, you might hesitate to tell the story. You don’t want your son’s missteps to be transmitted to the world at large in ways that might get him teased at school. You don’t want the porn-website-directing-friend to be caught and punished too soon, and turn a growing experience into an embittering one.
This isn’t to say that there aren’t great reasons to make your “real” identity known, but there are costs even when you’re keeping yourself totally above board and righteous, blog-wise.
(By the way, I’m only posting anonymously here because somehow blogger won’t let me log in. But I’ll take it.)
I think he could easily tell the same story, just as a “there was the kid I knew” or “one of the FOMLs friends” etc etc, and the impact would be just as meaningful without going to far.
Love your work! Keep it up anonymous or not.
Here’s my logic: If a murderous psycho stalker is out to get you, he will find you no matter what. If your name is public when this happens at least the public will know that your famous and need looking after in case a murderous psycho stalker is after. Gobs of adoring fans tend to not like murderous psycho stalkers.
No opionion either way. I will keep following anon or not. What else am I going to do, get off the computer and read a book??? Ya right! But, I will say that my Mom thinks you are the guy/actor pulling the handcart.
I love your posts and often read them to my husband.
I kind of like not knowing who you are, it makes it fun.
But, I would probably keep reading even if I knew who you were.
Oh, and I just want to know who you are. I’ll let your EC decide.
I’m still being amazed that I saw my niece’s user name on a previous comment (lovethenewkidney)! I guess maybe my family DOES look at the blogs I recommend…
This is a tough decision, I can see all the pros and cons. My decision changes as I think about it – first I say ‘Yes’, I am curious to know the true man pulling the cart; but then I say ‘No’, keep your privacy.
Whatever you choose we will still follow and love your insight. You will always be MMM no matter what.
Wow. The first nine comments bring up things I hadn’t thought of. I didn’t vote in your poll because I AM NOT TOO DIM TO HAVE AN OPINION, it’s just not my blog. harrumph. That said, if my blog were anonymous, I could more freely write about mental health in the hopes of helping someone without damaging my husband’s career. But my blog is more to inform the fam so that we don’t have to call so often…The purpose of your blog is different. Unless there are people who will recognize themselves and be upset, I say go public. You probably won’t even notice most of us driving past your house to see how you live…just kidding. 😉
If being anonymous means we get better stories about people in your ward, then you should stay anonymous.
That’s the thing that bugs me about not being anonymous. I’d like a place to vent about all the weird stuff that happens at church. But since the whole bishopric reads my blog, it’s not going to happen.
I’m cool either way. Benefits of anonymity: protection and freedom. Benefits of revealing one’s identity: making new blogging friends in real life and clout (?). Honestly, though, I think there’s something to be said for having people know who you are — I keep my last name and my children’s names anonymous, but because I’m honest about who I am, I can direct my friends/family to my blog without hesitation. It’s nice having a mixture of people who know me in real life and those who have no idea who I am. Of course, anonymity does have that freedom to write whatever without editing. I’m constantly reminding myself that Grandma and my MIL and RS Pres is reading… 🙂
I voted no….to me you are MMM. That’s enough, for now.But, if you are considering telling your real identity, my guess is that you want people to know who you are are. Either way, you will always be anonymous to me. good luck:)
I voted yes, just because I’m curious. But I’m a fan of some anonymity on the net.
As for the picture — you mean that’s NOT you pulling the handcart??
(Anon/M) I don’t know about revealing your name, but you need to have a picture of you somewhere here. It’s really weird to have the mental picture of that handcart pioneer pop out in my mind, as I read your posts. So far, all we’ve seen are coy partial views of your arms, on the backpack post.
My sweetie was very concerned about letting people know who we are. Then we were asked to do an interview with the Salt Lake Tribune in May. It meant that we would have to reveal or decline. We chose to reveal and honestly, it hasn’t made a difference. We haven’t seen any stalkers or creepers around, but I didn’t have a huge jump in followers either. It did make it much easier to convince my sweetie that pics on the blog would be much more fun rather than just random stuff from the web.
Sandy
I personally think you should reveal your name and state, (as in where you live, not state of mind 😉 but still refer to yourself as MMM. Also, I think that since you even posted this, it means you REALLY want to tell us who you are…… Just saying…
~Larkin
MMM followers: think this through before you vote! if we know that MMM is NOT brother dieter, we KNOW who he is!! (and therefore there is no need for him to reveal himself). YES… the MMM’s true identity is – well… i think you already know!
Wait a minute…You told me the other day that your name was George Clooney now you’re telling me you’re really Dieter???
I need the mystery solved.
Actually, I think there are good things about being anonymous and having your name stamped on it but for you I say let it all out!