October, 1970. I was in fourth grade. Life was good. Even though I had just turned nine, I wasn’t too old to appreciate the cool new kid’s show that had just started getting popular: Sesame Street. My friends and I loved it, especially the Muppets – Ernie & Bert, Oscar, Cookie Monster – all awesome. All except Big Bird. Big Bird was stupid.
When Halloween neared, my mom suggested I dress up as Oscar the Grouch. Genius! Mom was super creative, and I always had excellent costumes – most of which we made together. First, mom found an old furry coat and transformed it into Oscar’s fur. She then made me some fuzzy Oscar eyebrows that were perfect. We then went to the hardware store and bought a cheap corrugated aluminum trash can. Dad and I cut out the bottom, mounted handles inside, and attached the lid with a hinge. I could climb inside the trash can, walk around, crouch down, and pop up and surprise people. I couldn’t wait to try it on someone’s porch and yell “trick-or-treat. It was the best costume in the history of costumes.
Halloween was on a Saturday that year, but luckily schools had not obliterated the fun of childhood and we had a Halloween costume party on the Friday before. I was excited. When the time came to change into our costumes, I hurried to get in my outfit quickly so I could surprise people.
I hunkered down in my trash can, with the lid on, and waited until I could hear a lot of voices. This was awesome.
Then I popped up.
“What are you supposed to be?”
“Oscar the Grouch. Duh.”
“You don’t look like Oscar. Duh.”
“Hey look at this – he thinks he’s Oscar”
…and It got worse from there. Later that day I dragged my trash can home in abject humiliation. So far I had managed to avoid crying – but it was close. Mom was waiting for me, anxious to see how things went.
“How was your party?”
-silence-
“How did your costume go over?”
-that is when I finally burst into tears – tears of humiliation, and anger-
“It was the worst costume ever!”
“But I thought you loved it! What happened?”
“Mom – Oscar is GREEN!”
“What do you mean he’s green?”
“I mean his fur – he’s not GRAY, he’s GREEN!”
“Well how in the world was I supposed to know that?”
“If we had a color TV like everyone else, you would have known.”
Mom was speechless. We both felt terrible.
The next night I went trick-or-treating in full costume, but as soon as I got around the corner, I took it off, ditched the garbage can behind a fence, and put a sheet over my head and made the rounds as a ghost.
Yup. True story. Worst Halloween ever.
—-
Next Sunday, I will use this story to illustrate some profound gospel truths. But you’re gonna have to wait.
Right now I need to go eat the good candy before tomorrow night.
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B&W TV…That rocks! Honestly. I had one till I was 12 and thought it was awesome…till we got a color TV, then it was better! 🙂
Being a tall girl I was often struggling for cool stuff to be at halloween, add a Dad that thought it was funny to dress me up as big bird one year…
I am still called big bird. NOT COOL PEOPLE! 🙂
Awe this makes me so sad! For both you and your mom. It would have been such a great costume.
I actually chuckled right out loud! I needed a chuckle today. Thanks!
I’m sorry you were so humiliated but now that I got a much needed chuckle I’m sure you feel the entire ordeal was worth while. Service, and all…
I plan on raiding the kid’s candy bags tonight when they are bed… Happy Halloween!
Ooops! Was that too mean?! We are on sugar overload here…no wait, I can’t use that excuse anymore. How about sleep deprivation?
Sandy
I feel bad for your poor mom. She tried so hard and it all just backfired. Moms get blamed for everything. I hope you apologized for being mean to her. She should have made you a Big Bird suit. At least your attitude was consistent with your costume that should have been worth something!
Sandy
Oh, that’s just awful. Worst Halloween ever is right.
My husband wanted to dress up as Darth Vader one year. He hadn’t yet seen Star Wars, but did his best to describe the outfit to my MIL.
The result was a nicely shaped hood over a cape/long tunic combo. Except it was white, instead of black, and she had written “Darth Fader” on the helmet. My husband-to-be looked like a member of the Ku Klux Klan.
It’s one of the most unintentionally funny costumes EVER. And I can’t write about it on my own blog, so thanks for letting me share.
You’re a good man, Charlie Brown. I’m sure this is in no small part due to amazing parents. Albeit a hilarious post, I dug how they were both so involved in your humiliation.
Sorry. Now, we would call that vintage. Punctuation is going to be my demise!!
Now we would call that vintage. 😉
You are pretty old-a black and white TV? Just kidding (kind of). 🙂 I feel your pain BUT think your worst Halloween ever isn’t as bad as mine. I grew up in New Hampshire-try wearing a snow suit over your costume. Gray Oscar not sounding so bad now is it?
So sad. Hilarious, but sad.
Finally… a story that has you crying like a little girl.
I think it sounds awesome… oscar the grouch in black and white? Best costume ever!
I would like to say that I was tender, sweet and understanding with my mom and assured her that it was all OK. But…I’m sure I didn’t. As a parent now, I really feel for her.
I was kinda bratty then – you know, like Jewlynn.
I’m not sure if I should apoligize or not but I found this story Stinkin’ Hilarious!!!!
I’m still giggling.
Best Halloween story Ever!
That post makes me feel so much vicarous mommy guilt I can’t even stand it. That would have had me crumpled in the corner crying.
Awesome! Yes, disappointing and sad but those are the best stories to tell!
Awww! I feel terrible too – for both you and your mom!
We try so hard as moms, but we sometimes mess things up. Glad to know you turned out so well, despite the trauma. It gives me hope that my kids will survive my parenting mistakes.
You’re right! Worst Halloween ever! For mom and child!