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Q&A: Finding the Time

Today’s questions comes from someone named “Anonymous”, which isn’t any stranger than some of the names I’ve heard lately. I don’t know if it is one person, or several.
Anonymous asked: 
How do you have so much time? You post constantly. Are you unemployed, or retired? I can barely find time to post once a week, and that’s only if I can think of a topic.

I would love to answer this, but I’m late for work…
Just kidding. The answer is, I don’t have so much time. I definitely don’t have enough time to be doing this as often as I do – I only have 26 hours a day, just like the rest of you. Coming up with ideas is the easy part. Typing them up while acting like I am paying attention to what my EC is asking me is more difficult. 
I do most of my blog writing in the morning. Here is what an average weekday morning looks like:
5:28am: Wake up, turn off alarm set for 5:30.  Curse the day I lost the ability to sleep in.
5:30am: Wake up the “first wave” of children, pack lunches and make breakfast (if I’m feeling kind).
5:31am: Wake up my EC to pack lunches and make breakfast (if I’m not feeling kind).
5:50am: Wake up everyone else, with loving tenderness.
5:53am: Wake up everyone again, with threats of bodily harm.
5:55am: Family scriptures and prayer.
6:15am: First wave leaves for school. Everyone has the option of going back to bed until 7:15am. This is my hour of “alone” time where I read my scriptures, pray, and write blog posts. (Without this hour, I would probably fail at all three)
7:15am: It all begins again for the second wave.
8:10am: Last kid out the door.
8:11am: I make the daily choice of going back to bed until noon or going to work. Work wins. Somehow money does actually matter.
As you can see, my day starts early, and getting out of bed is a struggle EVERY SINGLE DAY OF MY LIFE. I am not a morning person by nature. People who “pop” out of bed, all happy and ready to take on the world give me thoughts of violence, or at least nausea. I would much rather stay up late and sleep in. (That explains why my learning to go to bed earlier was such a big moment for me in my 4th Quarter Comeback.)
Next question please…
Do you ever feel like you’ve “gone to far” when you are writing about religious things and trying to be funny?
Sometimes I am concerned that I have “gone TOO far”, but that is an entirely different spelling issue. Actually, there have been a couple of times where I was worried. One recent example was the Easter Bunny in the Harry Anderson painting. That is an example of when I was told that I had gone too far. (That’s why I changed it)  Usually my filter is pretty good. I try hard to never mock doctrine, or our leaders – preferring to take shots at our culture instead.
Now if you ask my EC that same question, you will probably get a different answer… I know she cringes once in a while. You guys would probably be in a better position to answer that, and this next question.
Last question…
Congratulations on your one year anniversary. I’m not gonna lie. I am a little envious that you have so many followers so fast. I have been blogging for several years and don’t have near the readership you do. What is the trick?
Thank you so much. Please don’t be envious. You are surely on the right track – there is a trick:  Every week I try to create ten new G-mail accounts and set up fictitious blogger profiles for them. Next, I read my blog, and laugh, cry and find wisdom. Then, I add myself to the list of followers because I am so impressed. I figure that by now, 210 of the 214 followers are me. Lucky for me I have a multiple personality disorder that helps me keep track as I am making comments and arguing with myself.
So, when I claim that my readers are witty, intelligent, and extremely attractive, it should make more sense to you now.

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Comments

  1. Most of us only have 24 hours a day. Is this part of the whole “the days will be shortened” thing? 😉

    Wait. You were joking. Weren’t you?

  2. Most of us only have 24 hours. Is this part of the whole “the days will be shortened” thing? 😉

    Wait. You were joking. Weren’t you?

  3. Most of us only have 24 hours a day. Is this part of the whole “the days will be shortened” thing? 😉

    Wait. You were joking. Weren’t you?

  4. Jocelyn: Had a good friend say to me: “I’m upset with you, because now I can never look at that picture of the Savior and Mary again without seeing that stupid Easter Bunny”. That struck me, so I took it down on the “spicy” scale from an 8 to a 2.

    I’m sure glad you aren’t the kind of person who says “I told you so”.

    BTW: Blogger flagged your comment as “spam”. Just sayin’…

    🙂

  5. I love the “seminary” hour for personal time (scriptures AND internet!). Maybe it helps that I AM a morning person (sorry!), and maybe it will help you to know that our alarm goes off at 5:00 AM, sometimes even on Sunday. Thanks for being so diligent about posting regularly.

  6. Oh, 5:55 looks like bliss. I just set my alarm for 5:10 tomorrow so that I’m more likely to respond when my father comes and wakes me for family scriptures at 5:15. (I actually pride myself on not having missed scripture study in months, but I should be more humble.)

    I’m mostly grumpy because tomorrow I actually have to leave at 6:30 instead of going back to bed and sleeping until 7 … or 8 …

    If we had family scriptures at 5:55, I too would embrace that early hour and get some things done. Alas, ’tis 40 minutes too early.

  7. Mindy: Ooops! I forgot to put that the HS kids leave for early-morning classes at 6:15. (That’s what I get for writing so early)

    Daughter: I thought you want to kill someone when you stay up too late. (I take it that burning the candle at both ends would be a BAD thing)

  8. Question: Why not get everyone up at 6:55 a.m. for scriptures and prayer so you don’t have to wake everyone up twice?

  9. Maybe if you were like me and went to bed super early you would be a morning person, too!

    No, but seriously. How much sleep I get determines whether I wake up with a smile or wake up wanting to kill someone.

  10. Love the rundown of your morning. Makes mine seem like a piece of cake. Wait..it IS!

    So that’s the secret to building your reader base? Huh….who knew

  11. You absolutely kill me! Make me laugh so much! I think it is great how you take every day life and crabby remarks)and make it something funny! May you have a super blessed day!

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