Every year I seem to notice it more. A strange, reoccurring condition that strikes the weeks preceding Christmas. As far as I know, it does not have a name. Let me describe it, and perhaps you can help.
I feel like I’m constantly sitting down, and it is holiday related. I get out of a chair, or a car, and totter and creek like man twice my age. (OK, a man 10 years older than me.)
Here are a few examples, and ideas for a name for the condition.
1) I work more during the weeks leading up to Christmas so that I can take some time off. In a chair. At a desk. Focused. Sitting like a human question mark.
Season’s Seatings?
2) Every one of the FOMLs has some type of program in December – choir, orchestra, etc. (Gotta cram them all in before the semester is over) And of course, there are always more parents than there are seats, so you’ve gotta show up early. Nothing like getting to a program 30 minutes early so that you can save seats for a 15 minute presentation. As the kids get older, the programs get longer, and longer, and longer. Thankfully, the music gets better, and better and better to the point of being tremendous entertainment.
Yuletide Kiester?
3) How about an evening or two a week, and all day Saturday sitting on bleachers cheering for the little monkeys.
Holiday Haunches?
4) Nativity portrayals, ward parties, Messiah sing-alongs. Thankfully, there is nothing better than standing to sing the Hallelujah Chorus. Nothing.
Scrooge Bottom?
5) Thankfully, my EC and I can still escape for a date now and then – to a movie, of course. And the newer the movie, the earlier you have to get there.
Gluteus Holidays?
6) Plays like A Christmas Carol, ballet’s like The Nutcracker, and loads of Christmas movies, all deserve quality time spent in a chair. None of them are short.
Santa Butt?
7) We’ve even reached the point where most of the shopping is done sitting down, in front of a computer.
The Fundament of Christmas? (Yes, you can look it up)
So, here I sit after a full day of sitting, writing this post.
I think I’ll go for a walk. Or go sit down and fill out an application to be a mall Santa.
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You missed Christmas buns. The Canadian challenge!
That’s you scaring that baby, isn’t it…
and a google search of Fundament gives a link to MMM Blog, isn’t that just amazing.
So maybe that explains my recent back pain!
Sandy
I just posted a video on my blog of my choir doing the Hallelujah chorus. You’re right. There is nothing better.
You’ve neglected to mention that along with all the sitting during the holiday season there is a great amount of eating. So the buttocks in question grow larger and larger, which I believe is done as a way to help survive the season in comfort and joy. Comfort and joy.
…until January, which is when we realize how large our bottoms have grown. It is then that the self-loathing begins. So much for good will towards men.
Chairity never faileth.