Love and Diet Coke

When I asked for questions a while ago, someone named Anonymous asked me “How about a post about intimacy in marriage?”  Yikes. Do I want to go there? I think not. Yes, tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and it is an important topic, but I am not a therapist, and wouldn’t feel comfortable writing about it.

I am proud to say that I am very happily married, and so is my EC. But I recognize that a lot of people aren’t. There are a few common areas that always seem to be the focus of the discord. Many couples struggle with “marriage issues” which is often code for “intimacy”, which is a euphemism for “sex”. Even though I have had the privilege adventure of hearing people fight about these issues, I would never presume to be an expert.

And so, even though I could, I have chosen not to write a post about intimacy – I hope you understand. I try to keep this blog family-friendly. 🙂

HOWEVER… I do know a lot about soda, and am very comfortable discussing Diet Coke.  In fact, men and women often view Diet Coke quite differently, and sometimes it is good to see how the “other side” looks at things. (Be warned: both the man and woman are stereotypical generalizations, and I recognize that this can be completely reversed for some people. And for some, this will not apply at all. Also, this does not represent any specific people. Especially you, Tim and Holly. Remember, everybody has their own issues with soda consumption – so nobody get defensive.)

A Man’s View of Diet Coke:
I really, really, really like Diet Coke. You could say that I love it. If I could, I would enjoy a nice refreshing Diet Coke every day of my life. Sometimes more than once.  My wife just doesn’t understand that I can get thirsty two days in a row. But when I tell her that no matter how satisfying today’s Diet Coke is, I’m gonna want another one tomorrow, she just looks at me with a blank stare.

I am particular. Even if I can’t have Diet Coke as often as I would like, I still only want real Diet Coke. So relax, I am not going to pay for any fake knock-off brand – I will wait for the real thing. I don’t really even care if it is served with a smile, in a fancy glass, or just straight out of the bottle. It is my favorite, and the Diet Coke Company should appreciate my loyalty.

It baffles me that my wife doesn’t love Diet Coke as much as I do. It makes no sense. What’s not to love? I can enjoy a Diet Coke when I’m tired, or in a bad mood, or stressed out about other things.

I am not going to say that Diet Coke controls my emotions, but I have noticed that if I don’t drink Diet Coke for several days,  I tend to get cranky. It is true that I am nicer, and feel better, when Diet Coke is readily available. I am happy to compromise, but it never seems to work.

A Woman’s View of Diet Coke:
Diet Coke is fine, and I’ll have one every now and again. But I can’t comprehend why someone would want to drink one every day. Every day? Isn’t that a little excessive? I think we are moving out of the “love” area into the “addiction” area.
It seems to me that if you have a big soda, it should be a week or two before you need another.

I tell my husband that I am fine with an occasional Diet Coke, like maybe once a week or twice a month, but he just doesn’t understand. Once I tried to explain this, and asked him to compromise with me, he said he would be happy to compromise. This was his compromise: Since I am good with 24 Diet Cokes a year, and he is happy with 400 a year, he suggested we compromise at somewhere in the middle – around 200 Diet Cokes a year.

It ain’t gonna happen.

You can’t make someone want to have a Diet Coke. And being pestered or guilted doesn’t make me want one more. In fact, it makes me want one less. But he never seems to get that.

When it comes right down to it, I am more of an ice cream person anyway. For me, I would rather save up all the money spent on Diet Coke, and buy really good ice cream every once in a while.

A Woman’s View on Ice Cream:
I love ice cream. It makes me feel happy inside. I especially love it when we have it together after a nice evening out. I love to get dressed up, hair, make-up etc., hire a babysitter, have a nice dinner, go to a movie and really enjoy each other’s company.

Then we get some good quality ice cream and take it home to eat in bed. We make sure the kids are asleep, that I’ve called to check on my mom, the kid’s backpacks are ready, all the doors are locked, my email is checked, and I check my Facebook for a minute. Then, if he’s still awake, we break out the ice cream. It is perfect.

It isn’t something we can afford to do very often, and it just wouldn’t be healthy. Remember, it is definitely about quality, not quantity.

A Man’s View of Ice Cream:
Ice cream? I can do that everyday, too.

(MMM note:  When I wrote this, it was meant to be a clever take on some of the struggles that couples deal with in marriage. Turns out that it triggered quite a bit of response. Many of the comments were beyond what I wanted to do with this post. Many were very good attempts at furthering the issue with good insight, others…not so much. Because of this, I have taken down most of the comments that push further into the issue.  I have, however, left the ones that praise my creativity. ;).  Please don’t take offense. I just don’t feel like my blog is the place to have heavy discussions about very personal issues.  If you would like to discuss it further, please email me.  Thanks!  MMM)