Today in Sacrament Meeting, one of my favorite brethren in the ward gave an amazing talk. It was so good, so right, so inspiring. It was also so long. He started when he was supposed to, but after his designated 10 minutes were up, he went on for an additonal 15. Small enough problem, but he wasn’t the concluding speaker: There was yet to be a musical number, and a recently returned missionary. The missionary was wonderful as well, but he suffered from the same “clock-management” issues that the other brother had. All told, we got out of Sacrament Meeting 30 minutes late. I loved the meeting, I loved the speakers, and was filled. But…
Both talks were wonderful, either one would have been great if the brother had been the sole speaker. I believe the Bishop did the right thing by letting them both go and complete their talks. However, it is a problem that I would like to address for a minute. (I’ll try and keep it short!)
I am well aware that this is a challenge for many. Even apostles have struggled with this. Any of you that remember Elder LeGrande Richards probably remember his struggles with the clock. Elder David B. Haight talked about Elder Richards speaking in the Tabernacle – at that time they had installed a yellow, then red, warning light to alert the speaker that time was up.
Brother LeGrand Richards, when the light was first installed, said, “Someone’s put a silly light up here.” He said, “I’ll just put my hand over it.” (Link here)
There may not be a light on the pulpit to tell you when to sit down, or an orchestra that will start playing exit music like at the Oscars tonight, but there is plenty of discomfort:
• There is a bishopric nervously shifting in their seats, wondering if they should tap you on the shoulder, skip the closing song, rearrange the remaining schedule, cancel the musical number, etc.
• There are also about 50 Primary, Relief Society, Priesthood, Sunday School, YM and YW teachers who are starting to worry, and wondering how to adjust. Remember, many of these teachers spent as much time preparing their lessons as you did for your talk. Time spent on their knees, time learning, time preparing, and now they find themselves trying to figure out how to cut a 40 minute lesson down to 20 – and still accomplish what they’ve set out to do.
• There is an entire congregation who is looking at the clock, wondering what’s up. I would like to say that we are all so engrossed in what is being said that we lose track of time, but it isn’t the case. In my example from today, I WAS engrossed in the talk, and the spirit and power being conveyed, but I did notice the unease around me, as well as the little girl in front of me who kept turning around to look at the clock. Every 30 seconds.
It is really tough to preserve a spiritual environment when you run past the designated time.
I have experienced this problem as a High Council speaker – the junior companion speaker takes most of the time, leaving me the last few minutes to offer a simple testimony and sit down. I don’t think that’s what the Stake President has in mind when he sends the HC out to the wards.
In our area there was a trend that when a husband and wife were called to speak together, the wife would take most of the time. The husband would have to graciously pocket his talk, bare a quick testimony, and sit down. We eventually abandoned this format, and mixed things up. We found that a sister was much less likely to go over time if the next speaker was not her husband.
I see it as a matter of respect, and/or a matter of experience and skill.
Giving a talk is scary for many people. Preparing one is difficult. Being able to gauge exactly how long your talk is can be very difficult when you are in the middle of giving it.
Here are a few tips:
1) When the bishopric member asks you to speak, ask “How long?”
2) Prepare your talk with that time in mind – don’t forget to provide time for an introduction and a testimony at the end. Also, if you are an emotional speaker, build in time for kleenex.
3) When you have you talk written, practice it – with a timer. Multiple times. There are very few speakers out there who can accurately gauge how fast time is moving . (Yes, write it down – even if you don’t plan on using the notes.)
4) Make note of the parts of your talk that you can skip, should it be running late.
5) If it is just impossible to fit your talk into the assigned time, put the talk away, save it for another day, and start over.
Remember, even the General Authorities, who speak by the power of the Holy Ghost, write their conference talks in advance. You never see them stand up in conference and “wing it’. Their timing is remarkable. It takes time, and practice.
So, if the phone rings and you get asked to speak, remember…it’s not all about you.
Preach, teach, inspire – and end on time!
(PS: If you have been on the receiving end of an endless talk, the proper response is: Thank you for your wonderful talk!)
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Oh, I agree with Melissa on prayers. If the bishopric nixed the closing song altogether, take it as a hint, closing pray-er — we don’t want your personal summary of each talk, or your heartfelt 5 minute long personal testimony on ANYTHING. If you feel the need to say that particular prayer, do it after sacrament meeting in the coat closet. Your responsibility is to be the voice for the congregation and close the meeting. Amen.
When I gave my missionary ‘farewell’ talk, my dad gave me great advice: Melissa, you can give the greatest talk in the world, but if you go over on time, that is all anyone will remember about it.’ so, so true! My family is perhaps over-conscientious of time, and stick to the allotted amount as if our very lives and salvation depend on it.
When people go over on time, it makes those of us with young children want to spork our eyes out. My kids can last about an hour, after that the volume goes waaaaay up, and the kids’ patience is shot. Same goes with the extra-long prayer. Sometimes, with my eyes half-closed (hey, someone has to watch these kids) I think in my sinner’s heart, ‘they didn’t ask you to SPEAK, they asked you to PRAY! Wrap it up!’
Sigh. Church is just such an uplifting experience for us 🙂
Great post.
When I was at BYU we went to a ward teacher training. Best training I got was from one of the bishopric counselors. He told us that once the clock said our time was up he wasn’t listening anymore… so, we could keep going but chances are not many would be listening at that point. So true.
Amen!
We had a similar situation in my ward on Sunday. It was kind of funny because I usually get really fidgety if the meeting runs over by even a minute or two. This week, our concluding speaker ran over by a few minutes, but I actually WAS engrossed in his talk and almost didn’t notice. Afterward, I remarked to a friend that I was surprised the congregation wasn’t getting restless. She replied, “I think you were just really into that talk because EVERYONE was getting restless.”
Who knows? Maybe I was the one person that needed to hear it.
Years ago my husband and I were asked to speak on emergency preparedness. He was the second speaker and I was the third. I planned my talk but could not come up with a good opening. My husband planned on speaking for 12 minutes but then took about 20 minutes. When it was my turn there was 5 minutes left of the meeting. I got up to the podium and said, “My talk is like food storage. You spend time on it but if you’re lucky you never have to use it.” I gave one quote, a quick testimony and sat down. The meeting ended on time.
When my husband was extended the call to serve on the High Council I asked him if he got the handbook. He asked “What handbook?” “The one that outlines how to give long, dry talks.” Back then there seemed to be no time limit for HC speakers and there were times when I felt like pinching the baby just so I would have to take them out and get a break!
This is my BIGGEST pet peeve at church. I think it is so inconsiderate. I completely agree with what some others have said about shutting down. I’m in a YSA ward and we have fast Sunday meals and the RS is at least 10 minutes late getting out, every time. Frustrating.
Whenever a speaker starts out with “I’ve got 11 points I’d like to discuss and after 15 minutes is on #3, you know you are doomed.
I used to be guilty of going long with my talks for Sacrament meeting. Many years ago, I realized how uncool it was, and now I time my talk several times before giving it.
These days, I don’t consider it a successful talk unless it comes in at or under the time allotted.
Good post!
=)
We were having this same discussion at diner last night. My niece said “when I look at the clock and there is 45 minutes and there is only one (high council) speaker left, I’m already done. I know I can’t listen to one person for that long.” We thought we’d like to see 2 high council speakers with short messages. You don’t have a personal relationship with the HC’s to sustain you through a long talk.
We need to remember that it is about teaching the gospel not about us being cool and the wonderful talk/sharing time/treat etc. that we prepared.
Our son was asked to speak in his BYU student ward last week. When he asked how long he should take and if he was going to be the first, second, or accordion speaker, the bishopric member was so intrigued with that term (he’d never heard it before), that he was given the accordion speaker slot. When Sunday came, the first two speakers went so long that fortunately the bishopric postponed our son’s talk for a week (or three, with stake conference and fast Sunday in between). That definitely was the right choice, and it gives our son more time to prepare!
I taught seminary for a few years, and definitely learned that any attention immediately stopped at 6:50 AM. In fact, in that case, students would actually get up and leave before the closing prayer so they wouldn’t be late for school. Georgia’s comment is true – we shut down and are ready to move on to the next activity whenever the clock tells us.
It always amazes me how the little ones have an internal sacrament meeting timer. The minute it is suppose to be over they begin getting wiggly.
My favorite is when the speaker realizes they are out of time and say, “I’m out of time so, in closing…….”and proceed to close for 10 min.
I agree that a dunking machine is a good way to go….unless the Bishop is speaking, don’t ever dunk the Bishop.
It all boils down to common courtesy and respect… or lack thereof.
I agree! The only thing worse is running short on time and the bishop calling people out of the audience to share their testimonies. That happened today in Stake Conference…
Sandy
They should install dunking machines that are set to the allotted talk time. When time is up, if you’re not sitting back down, you’re getting wet. That wouldn’t detract from the Spirit at all and may even wake up the congregation.
Two related stories, because I know everyone is interested:
1. My first counselor and I spoke last week (after fairly short notice). Because of the holiday, we had like 50 minutes to fill. My talk was 15 minutes long. Thank goodness for first counselors! (And rest hymns with four verses.)
2. Today was ward conference. After the sacrament there were 40 minutes to fill. The bishop took 30 of them, then we had a musical number. Stake president had only 5 minutes, but hey, ward conference. You can go over time.
And they did. By the time we got out of Sunday School I only had to give a 5-minute lesson in Relief Society. I didn’t even prepare anything (much).
We had 3 speakers today, and all of them are the type who can talk and talk and talk. They each shared great and powerful messages, but that didn’t stop me, the wife of one of the speakers, and another woman from joking (after the meeting, of course) that each should have been given their own sacrament meetings to speak. Plus, that would have saved the branch presidency 3 weeks of finding speakers! haha.
We also currently have our sm last in the block, so it at least doesn’t cut into class time. Just everyone’s lunch time. oops…
There’s a time and season for all things. A time to speak and a time to shut up. I never realized until this post how selfish it is to speak longer than the allotted time. Thanks again, MMM.
I’ve just learned, (probably from all those youth talks when I was younger), to write seven or eight 3-5 minute talk segments and transition from one to another. Gives me the flexibility to add or subtract as needed.
Personally, I like it that way. I know that by having 5 kiddos in Sacrament meeting, if I can hang on for that long without getting interrupted, hopefully I can glean at least one spiritual gem for the day.
Our bishop talks (privately) about the need for the concluding talk to be an accordian, able to expand or contract. Sad it is so, but as long as we are a lay ministry, we’re going to deal with this problem.
Talk assigners can help by bring clear about the assignment and the timing. We used to tell the first adult speaker not only how long to speak, but when to be done. (Most speakers don’t note when they start, so they have no idea how long they’ve spoken.)
Most people DON’T write their talk out and have absolutely no idea how long they are speaking. They are amazed at how fast the time went! I greatly dislike being the concluding speaker for that very reason. I’ve been given 12 minutes to speak and my talk takes exactly 11 min. 45 seconds to give. Then the other speaker(s) take all the time and I’m left with 3 minutes! So ANNOYING. When asked to speak I ask two questions “How long?” and “What speaker am I?” If I’m the concluding then I know to prepare a regular talk and a very short one.
Your suggestions are spot on–thanks for sharing.
I am guilty of this, but hopefully not by so many minutes. When I prepare for a talk, I feel so enthusiastic about everything I study, and my preparation is so thorough that editing is truly the hardest part. I try so hard to watch the clock carefully and time myself the best I can, but I always go a few minutes over and then feel guilty about it. It really is my best effort, so I would be mortified if I were rebuked for it. I totally understand your point, and I agree, but it’s hard to do, especially if you leave your talk some “wiggle room” for inspiration instead of just reading a script.
Sheesh; we must have it easy. One speaker went 25 minutes, the RS sang, the second speaker went a little over, and we ended up about 7 minutes late. That’s one of the worst ever in the last 4+ years, and we didn’t have to tap anybody on the shoulder.
Why are bishops and counselors unwilling to stand up, put an arm around the shoulder of The Long-Winded One, thank him, and walk him back to his seat?
As a RS president on my second time around, there are a few things I have learned well. Number one is that once the time is spent, no matter how wonderful, inspirational and touching your subject material is, it will be worthless because people just shut down and become anxious to move to the next thing. I believe we are wired that way.
reminds me of a quote “For a speech to be immortal it does not have to be everlasting”….
My husband was asked to speak five consecutive times in one ward. He was always the concluding speaker but all the previous speakers kept going over time and not leaving enough time for my husband’s talk, so he didn’t give it. Or would just bear a brief testimony and sit down. The last time it happened, one of the counselors in the bishopric was actually kicking the first speaker in the foot during his talk, but the speaker ignored him!
1000 time YES, also when Taking a moment to bare testimony remember what you learned and the testimony you gained is the part we need to hear not the nitty gritty details about the camping trip that led you to that revelation. On the day my son was blessed we had non member friends at church and one guy talked about going to the bathroom for 20 min with the intent that he knew the lord was looking out for him and knew him personally, and then so did my guests too.