I have never shared my innermost thoughts about bacon with you. I know, I know, it is hard to believe, but it is true. In the archives of MMM, you will find only a couple of fleeting references to bacon, and an abundance of bacon-related comments by the readers.
Of course, there is the logo, which is included on any of my non-serious posts.
I’m sure that the constant visual reminder furthers the idea that I am a totally committed to, or obsessed by, cured pig belly.
Rarely a week goes by without someone posting or sending me a bacon meme, photo, or joke. Some good souls have even gone so far as to send me actual bacon treats. What kind friends!
Oddly, I hear or read about bacon much more frequently that I actually eat bacon. Frequency? Maybe every couple of weeks, and usually as a component of some other dish. My apparent bacon obsession is not really rooted in the reality of my opinions or postings, but merely the expectations of my readers. Because of this, it is time to tell you how much I like bacon.
I love it – but it is not an unconditional love.
I like bacon as a stand-alone food. A slice of bacon? You bet! But it has to be cooked correctly. Everyone has their preferences, and I’ll admit that I am a bit of bacon snob.
I don’t like crispy, crispy bacon. Last year I was hangry* for a Grand Slam, and went to Denny’s. The bacon on my plate was so thin and crispy that you could read the menu through it. (That was the last time I’ve been to a Denny’s.)
*Use of the term “hangry” is merely to irritate my children who might read this.
There is a magical sweet-spot that can be achieved when bacon is chewy and crispy at the same time. It is hard to find. My family is very skilled at this. It requires patience, low heat, and love. FOML5 took on the task of cooking bacon last week, and I must say, that for a twelve-year-old, he did a great job of carrying on the multi-generational family legacy.
Bacon in Savory Dishes. Bacon is awesome when wrapped around scallops, shrimp or asparagus, sautéed with brussel sprouts or hash browns. Pasta carbonara is heaven, as is an All-American bacon cheeseburger. Bacon bits on a baked potato? Delicious. If you want to get fancy, “lardons” can make most savory dishes even better.
(Exception: Bacon does not belong in Mexican food – especially Taco Bell.)
“Thick Cut” is awesome. Hickory or Applewood smoked is great. Maple flavored, not so much. (See below)
There is a gentle purity to a well-made BLT, which deserves our respect for its simplicity.
I’m sure that many of you will agree with me to this point, but here is where our paths might diverge:
Bacon and Sweet Are Not Meant to Be Together. There is sweet, and there is savory, and never the twain shall meet.
Bacon flavored candy? Yuck. Chocolate covered bacon? No thanks. Chocolate with bacon bits? Not a fan. Bacon-flavored hot chocolate? Tried it – nasty. Not even a maple/bacon donut works for me.
Sure, it looks appealing, and makes sense in theory, but to me it is just “meh.” What would I rather have? A maple donut AND a pile of correctly cooked bacon.
The only exception I can think of to the Bacon/Sweet divide is that strange salad that contains broccoli, bacon, raisins, sunflower seeds and red onion. This odd nirvana is not to be confused with the countless girly-salads out there that are covered in sweet dressing, with hopes to be rescued by crumbled bacon bits.
I am the first to admit that this line between sweet and bacon might be remnants of my childhood. I was a non-touching-foods kid. And I would eat them in sequence, starting with the thing I liked least, ending up with the thing I liked most. But that is a discussion best left for another day.
Many of you probably have opinions about bacon that sharply differ from mine. I understand that, but since my online persona seems to be forever linked with bacon, I feel I should take this time to share with you the correct opinions about bacon.
I keep my bacon on a separate plate, my EC dips hers in the maple syrup. I was making pancakes and bacon for breakfast not long after my EC and I had entered that realm of relationship. That morning she suddenly jumped up and ran from the room….and we soon there after made a discovery….no bacon for the next 9 months.
I love bacon. with my great grandparents it was a major food group at breakfast. even today when I am away at work, 3 perfectly cooked slices go with breakfast. With much more attention given to them than the toast, eggs, or anything else. growing up in a rural community, I agree with rae’s youth…the perfect animal. No matter how much you dislike raising them, feeding them, getting them out of the neighbor’s wheat or barley fields….they still give you bacon in the end.
I have seen pictures of bacon-flavored soda. Probably falls under the sweet category mentioned above, but just the oddness of the concept almost makes me want to try it.
My friend once said, “True friendship is sharing your bacon. True love is giving someone your bacon.” If you love someone enough to give them your bacon, that is some deep, deep love we’re talking about. 🙂
While I agree that bacon and sweet should never go together (the thoughts of past experiences makes me sick), there are times when sweet and savory do go well together. Do yourself a favor and go to Wendy’s, get a frosty and some fries, then dip the fries in the frosty. Your life will never be the same. 🙂
Old news. My EC has been doing that for decades – I’m still not a fan.
If you by chance ever find yourself in Cleveland. Go to Michael Simon’s restaurant, B-spot ,and get the Apple Pie Bacon shake. It will change your world!
The two best foods on earth are bacon and chocolate, but NOT together. Furthermore, not all bacon and and not all chocolate are made equal.
Amen! 🙂
Bacon is my least favorite food in the world.
How very sad.
I stand humbled and amazed before you, O Bacon Oracle, and confess myself not worthy to exist in the presence of your superior knowledge of bacon. While repenting of my sins, may I inquire as to your thoughts of rolling your bacon in flour before cooking it? My grandmother used to do that, and I weep at the thought of how much I miss her and her bacon, and how fat she must be making the saints in heaven with her cooking.
Rolling your bacon in flour is fine, if your desire is to contaminate it, and dilute it’s unadulterated beauty.
Nah, you’ve got to try bacon brownies. My son’s deacon leader makes it. Cook diced bacon, reserve the fat and use it in place of the oil in a brownie mix and add the bacon as chips to the batter. AMAZING!
Tried it. It is wrong.
I didn’t think I would like a bacon/sweet combination either…….until I attended a wedding reception where bacon-wrapped dates (which were stuffed with Philadelphia cream cheese) were served in a warm chafing dish. The bacon was cooked perfectly (the way you describe it) and I can honestly say it was the best tasting thing I ever put in my mouth! You really should try it! It is a gourmet exception to the rule of ‘no bacon/sweet combos.’
Well cooked bacon is heaven on earth!
Bacon and sweet is nasty except with pancake/waffle syrup.
Taco Bell isn’t real Mexican food so I’m with you there. But the only way to gag down a hot dog is a bacon wrappped Sonoran Dog sold from a cart on the side of the road with all the yummy stuff piled on top…except jalapeños…cuz I’m as white as they come and my Mexican husband thinks it’s way too funny to watch me start sweating, nose running, face turn red if I touch those. I’ve never worked up the nerve to ask for the bacon to stay and hot dog be removed.
*The term hangry is an awesome description of that state of being.
Just like mayo…you are right on.
Proof. We really are related.
And then there is spiritual bacon….I teach the 13-year-olds that will turn 14 this year. Last month we were discussing feasting on the scriptures, and a smart alec redhead (FOML2) says, “yeah, it’s like eating spiritual bacon! ” which I thought a brilliant way to describe it. Not to mention the whole scout troop’s obsession with the perfect animal: you feed it garbage and it gives you bacon!
I’m with you. I hate bacon-flavored things. A couple years ago Jack in the Box–I think–had a bacon shake. My husband being who he is decided he had to have one. It was probably one of the nastiest things I have ever tried…that and coconut water. Blech! Keep bacon pure. (except when dipped in syrup while eating pancakes or waffles.)
I am so happy to find out I have people who agree with me on bacon! The idea of mixing it in ice cream or other sweet stuff is flat out gross. I also don’t like “Cowboy” chocolates or some such with jalapeno peppers and other weird ingredients. My son sent me some from Idaho telling me how great they were…Uh, Thanks son, for finding someone who found a way to ruin chocolate.
I’m also a “don’t let different foods touch” person, and I firmly believe that just because two things taste great individually does NOT mean they will combine well (thus all the bacon-and-sweet combos are pretty much non-starters for me). I also prefer my bacon still flexible, rather than rigid and crumbly and dry.
Absolutely! Never mess up bacon with sweetness.
Oddly enough we agree that bacon does *not* belong on doughnuts/candy/anything of the sort, but differ greatly when it comes to cooking preferences. My bacon has to be completely crisped, as I cannot stand that soft white meat fat. However, you are perfectly fine with having your own opinion, as long as I’m allowed to have mine. 🙂
Never have I beheld a more perfectly written blog post–which is to say, I agree with your opinion 100%.
Thank you so very much.
You’re correct on every point. Try switching out the raisins for craisins in the broccoli salad.
One of my teen sons wanted to go to one of those cardboard cutout diner chains for breakfast last Saturday. Instead I took him to a unique hole in the wall diner where the two strips of bacon that came with each meal were substantial strips of properly cooked meat. My son fell in love with this place. He may never visit a big chain diner again.
Now I’m just hungry! I’ll be taking an early lunch today.
I like it when the syrup gets on my bacon, so I’m ok with a little sweet on my bacon. Thanks for the post, now I need BACON!!!
Doing a ketogenic diet (32 lbs since late October) and bacon is a vital component (along with heavy cream).
I appreciate your well worded, if completely erroneous, assessment of bacon.
In reality maple and bacon are a near perfect flavor combination; scientifically proven to maximize the stimulation of the pleasure centers of the human brain. I don’t have the study reference handy but I’ll find it.
The combination of sweet and salty and smokey is a time tested component of every cuisine across the globe. Teriyaki beef jerky, Korean BBQ pork, Russian blini with smoked salmon, the list goes on.
I’m sure we would find that it stems from the ancient meeting of pancakes and maple syrup- first documented in in Roman texts during the colonization of Canada but it is undoubtedly much older than that.
So much nonsense
He he. I pretty much agree with the sweet vs savory thing, although since I LOVE bacon dipped in maple syrup when we are eating pancakes or french toast, I THOUGHT I would like bacon on maple bars, but I did not! Another case of reality not meeting expectations.
I’m so glad there are others out there who understand the need to cook bacon perfectly. Ahhhh…
“There is sweet, and there is savory, and never the twain shall meet.” YAAAS! My ‘Foodie-Soul-Bro’ 🙂
I am also picky about bacon being cooked just right. I found a tip in Cook’s Illustrated that makes it easier. Put the bacon in the pan like usual. Then add enough water to cover. Cook on high until the water boils, then turn down to medium. When the water has boiled away, turn the heat down to medium-low and continue cooking until done. I know the water seems wrong, but it really works!
Apostate teachings
You know Cook’s Illustrated is made by America’s Test Kitchen, where recipes are tested literally hundreds of times, if necessary. So if Chris Kimball says it works, it works!
Just because something is in a recipe book, and been tested, does not make it good. Domino’s Pizza has been tested millions of times…
I am guessing you would not be a fan of the bacon flavored ice cream (with chunks of real bacon!) that is very popular around here. I worked for a bed and breakfast and that is where I learned that secret of perfectly cooked bacon you refer to, it’s a labor of love and once you’ve had back that way there is no going back.
Ahhh, Fettuccini Carbonara! Broccoli salad (with all the stuff you mentioned + cheese…), thick cut bacon cooked perfectly…yumm! Love it. I only eat it occasionally, but savor it when I do!
Agree with all your correct opinions
Here in Norway, bacon wrapped hot dogs are popular. You can get them at any gas station. See a picture here http://www.tv2.no/a/3495445
You are killing me with that picture…droool!
I want to go visit Norway (land of my maternal grandfather/first in his family born in America) now, more than EVER!!
xoDaleB.xo
I want the BLT in the picture for lunch!
Oh man do we ever connect! My bacon has to be cooked the same exact way, my husband just doesn’t understand how I like it and over cooks it every time. I LOVE a good BLT! And chocolate and bacon or maple and bacon-GROSS! (Though I do enjoy that same salad) 😉
Now that we’re talking about bacon I could eat a package of it if I had some, but alas I don’t have any and I have a sick child so that means no trip to the store; maybe tomorrow. 🙁
MMMMMmmmm….I want bacon now. I don’t like my bacon sweet either.
A couple years ago I bought this perfume/cologne: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zKOqMHiAnlc I know, what was I thinking? The reviews were high! They have two different kinds. I got both. Amazingly they actually smell pretty good!! But still weird. Bay-cohn!
You had me at bacon.
And yeah, that broccoli bacon salad thing is pretty much da bomb. And I don’t even like broccoli.
Last time I had bacon it was just “Meh”. It shocked me. Maybe I’m ill.