I know that some of you slog through the life-altering wisdom on my blog merely in search of an occasional laugh. That is totally acceptable. Hopefully, while you are laughing, you will stumble upon something that will help you stop doing that. (Yes, I’m talking to you – You know what I’m talking about. If you think that this doesn’t apply to you, ask your spouse.)
Although I show some flashes of brilliance humor on this blog, I’m really not that all that funny. if you met me in real life, the first word that would come into your mind wouldn’t be “funny”. It would probably be Clooneyesque hilarious wow! majestic Adonis boring. I’m just a regular old guy. With a laptop. And a few battle scars. (And the best EC in the world.)
Now the “Fruit of my Loins” (FOMLS) are where you find the humor in our family. They can be hysterical. Granted, the type of humor has evolved a lot in this past generation. My kids are now old enough that we are in a “Knock-Knock Free Zone”. I’m OK with that. Kid’s these days are an impatient bunch, and rarely go ‘old-school’ with the classic story joke, ie: “Two nuns walked into a bar…”.
My kid’s jokes tend to be a very sophisticated mix of one-liners and rhetorical questions. I don’t know how they have time to develop their material, or how they memorize the lines and perfect the timing, but they do. Often with hilarious results. As they have become teenagers, they have begun to master the art of subtle “deadpan” humor. If you don’t know them as well as I do, you wouldn’t even know they are joking.
As I came to acknowledge this blossoming talent, I began writing down some of their better one-liners. I think they are hysterical, and I hope that you do too. I’ll start with one of my favorites:
• Hey Dad, can you help me with my calculus homework? (See what I mean? Priceless!)
• Do you wanna watch “Suite Life on Deck” with me?
• Will you pay me a dollar if I eat this entire pizza/burrito/bag of Doritos?
• I haven’t had any clean socks to wear for a week.
• Mom, what do you do all day?
• I promise I’ll mow the lawn tomorrow.
• I swear that’s not my wet towel.
• My alarm clock must be broken – I’m sure i set it.
• When I’m older, I’m not going to let myself gain weight.
• I’m the only kid I know that has a curfew.
• Why do you always pause the TV when I come into your room?
• Can I have money for gas?
• You don’t know what kids are like nowadays.
• Please let me finish this level before bed – it will only take 10 minutes.
• He started it!
• Sorry I got home so late – I fell asleep. Again.
And my very favorite:
• Yes, my room is clean.
So, if you hear any of your kids make an attempt at this sort of humor, give them a hearty laugh, and be grateful that they have a refined sense of humor. It will surely serve them well…
…when they are parents.
Discover more from Thus We See...
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
Must be a ‘teen-ager’ thing. Or you have been outside the window at MY house. Was that you? C’mon, admit it. It was, wasn’t it?!
I pulled the “I’m the only one without a curfew” all the time!!!
They want money for eating doritos and THEN getting gas. hmmm 🙂
I never made that connection. Maybe that’s how it works in YOUR house…
that was pretty funny… i even experienced “lauging tears” – i haven’t had those in a while – thanks boring man!
Laughing tears? Awesome! Thanks, new person!
Sounds like you were eavesdropping at my house.
It seems that my kids have the same kind of humor in them that yours do.
These are our family favorite jokes:
“No mom, I don’t have any homework.” and
“I practiced the piano when you went out to get the mail.”
My kids are young, and most of their best lines are really bad attempts at lying. Here’s a good one from my 7yo last week: Me: why aren’t you wearing your shoes outside? 7yo: they fell off.
I think I have heard all these comedy classics! You should consider publishing this joke book !!
Yesterday my son delivered a classic comody line” can we fit a doorbell to my room with the button in the kitchen, it will save mum having to shout me to come down for meals” I managed an instant response. No but how about we put the button in your room and you can ring when you want the butler to bring your meals up !
Nice comeback! Obviously comedy is a genetic gift in your family.
hahahaha … this sure made me laugh out loud.. oh wait.. LOL.. ~ Andrea C
What helps me out is the “mother’s curse.” They’ll get one just like them one day and then it WILL be HYSTERICAL!!! You can just sit on the sidelines with your bag of popcorn and drink and giggle at all the “cute” things your grandkids are doing. I’m not sure why it is that when my kids did these things, it was NOT funny, but watching my grandkids say and do stuff is delightful. It all comes back around. =)
Yes, the grand kids do make it way funnier. Love having grand Kids!!
🙂
Of course my children have never said any of those things…