Let me introduce myself: I am Fredikiahah, but my friends call me Fred, or Awesome. I am a Nephite, descended from the very first Nephite, Nephi. This makes me far superior than my woeful cousins, the Lamanites. But enough about them – let’s talk about me.
This is me:
I know – impressive, right? Check out those massive calves and those arms. Broad shoulders, narrow waist. And that sweet helmet? As far as Nephite warriors go, I am a fearsome sight. And I have sweet color coordinated fletching on my arrows.
All my life I have wanted to do one thing. I have trained, worked out, and studied, all to fulfill my purpose here in Zarahemla. That purpose? Killing Lamanites. It’s what I live for. I am a warrior.
So imagine my excitement when on one boring afternoon, a Lamanite climbs up on the city wall and starts talking trash to us, the Nephites, the chosen people. Can you believe it? He starts out with “Behold, I, Samuel, a Lamanite…” And I’m like “Stop right there! That is all I need to hear.” After that, all I waited for was the go-ahead to finish him off.
He started telling us how evil we all were, and how we needed to repent or we would deb destroyed, blah, blah, blah. The people were getting pretty upset at this guy. Finally, the orders came down to take him out. My pleasure. Since I always wear my armor, and carry my weaponry at all times, I was ready to end this.
I climbed up on a step, where I had a clear sightline, and a perfect angle. I nocked an arrow and pulled back. Mind you, it would take two or three normal men to draw my bow, but remember – I’m not a normal man.
I lined up the shot, and released the arrow. It flew to the top of the wall where Samuel was preaching. It was right on target – naturally. Then, at the last second, it somehow curved to the left, and went over the wall.
Samuel was still standing. Huh?
I missed. The other guys stopped and looked at me. They could’t believe it either. It must have been a warped arrow. I grabbed another and let it fly. Same result. And I wasn’t alone – all my best friends were coming up empty as well.
I changed my angle, increased my pull, and let another arrow rip. This time it hit the wall right below where the Lamanite stood. I was getting angry and confused. I went through my full quiver of arrows until I had only one left.
Just as I was getting ready to release what would have definitely been the perfect, final shot, Samuel jumped down from the wall and ran off. I was stunned.
All my life I had been training for a moment like this. This was it! This was supposed to be my purpose in life, and I couldn’t even hit a stationary Lamanite.
I was too despondent to even go searching for my spent arrows. I just went home frustrated, kicked the dog, ate some raw meat, and polished my helmet.
Woe is me.
—-
The Question: Why was Fredikiahah unable to fulfill his desire to kill Samuel?
The Answer: God didn’t desire Samuel to be killed.
Sounds easy, right? Fredikiahah’s desires were in direct conflict with God’s will. Fred didn’t stand a chance.
Does that simple concept extend to me? You bet. When my desires are in conflict with God’s desires, God can shut me down any time he wants. But we sure do struggle with this idea.
In the scriptures, this process is described as God choosing to “hedge up the way.”
Mosiah 7:29 “For behold, the Lord hath said: “I will not succor my people in the day of their transgression; but I will hedge up their ways that they prosper not; and their doings shall be as a stumbling blockbefore them.”
Hosea 2:6 “Therefore, behold, I will hedge up thy way with thorns, and make a wall, that she shall not find her paths.”
Even Nephi pled to the Lord, “Wilt thou not place a stumbling block in my way—but that thou wouldst clear my way before me, and hedge not up my way, but the ways of mine enemy.” (2 Nephi 4:33)
The Lord’s willingness to “interfere” was on display when he sent a angel to stop the prophet Balaam when he was in pursuit of his own agenda. (Numbers 22)
Now for a moment of introspection: Have you ever had something you wanted really, really bad – something you had worked for, prayed for, and given your heart and soul to attain – only to fall short, like one of Fred’s arrows?
I have. It can be heartbreaking.
It could be a failed career pursuit, the inability to have children, or to find a spouse, having to move to a strange place, missing out on a scholastic opportunity, having your life impeded by health issues, etc.
There can be so many things that we sincerely desire that just don’t materialize. Do we ever take a step back and wonder if it is because it might not be what God desires for us? Do we feel Fred’s frustration in failure, when there was absolutely ZERO CHANCE that we would ever be successful in achieving that quest?
I guarantee it can be confusing at times. We are supposed to seek out righteous desires. Christ himself that we can receive what we ask for when he said,
“For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened. If a son shall ask bread of any of you that is a father, will he give him a stone? of if he ask a fish, will he for a fish give him a serpent?” (Luke 11:10-11)
It seems almost silly, right? If you ask for a fish, that you would get a serpent instead.
Guess what: It happens all the time. So often in life we ask for things that we want, and the Lord gives us something else entirely. We ask for a blessing, He gives us a challenge. We want ease, He want us to grow.
Elder Bednar said this in his talk “Ask in Faith.” “Every sincere prayer is heard and answered by our Heavenly Father, but the answers we receive may not be what we expect or come to us when we want or in the way we anticipate.”
That sounds like the door is left open for some occasional stones instead of bread. The problem? Often we ask for what we have decided that we want – without ever really taking the Lord’s opinion into account.
James explained it well, although a little harsh: “Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.” (James 4:3)
Nephi understood this idea, yet also found a way to exercise faith in receiving: “Yea I know God will give liberally to him that asketh. Yea, my God will give me if I ask not amiss…” (2 Nephi 4:35)
When I get frustrated, and feel like I’m not getting what I have been asking for, I can respond with frustration, or I can take a step back and ask myself some questions:
• Is what I want what God wants for me, or is it what I want for me – or do we both agree on it?
• Is my way being “hedged up,” or is this just a trial of my faith and endurance?
• Have I received a personal confirmation from the Holy Ghost this is the path I should be on, or am I going after this on my own?
One of the reasons this has been on my mind lately is that some of my kids are in that stage of life where their decisions are hugely important: Who do I marry? Where do I go to school? What do I study? What career should I pursue? etc.
All of those issues are far too crucial to merely depend on today’s whim, fad, trend, fling, etc. There must be involvement from the Lord through prayer, and through the Holy Ghost.
Elder Bednar added this counsel: “Discerning and accepting the will of God in our lives are fundamental elements of asking in faith in meaningful prayer. However, simply saying the words “Thy will be done” is not enough. Each of us needs God’s help in surrendering our will to Him.
“Prayer is the act by which the will of the Father and the will of the child are brought into correspondence with each other.” Humble, earnest, and persistent prayer enables us to recognize and align ourselves with the will of our Heavenly Father. And in this the Savior provided the perfect example as He prayed in the Garden of Gethsemane, “saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done. … And being in an agony he prayed more earnestly” (Luke 22:42, 44).
What is the opposite of frustration? Peace, perhaps?
A great talk that can help us figure this all out is from Elder Richard G Scott: “Using the Supernal Gift of Prayer.” from April Conference, 2007.
Here
I keep on thinking about what could have happened to Fredikiahah after this. Maybe he couldn’t get the incident out of his head, then he started to remember some of the things Samuel had said, then he tracked down Nephi to learn more.
Often when our wills don’t align with God’s our frustration can lead to humility if we let it. And then amazing things can happen!
This has been my struggle for months (or is it years) now… righteous desires (provide for family), literally thinking about every possibility we can, praying, feeling good about it, trying to go down that road, and being shut down. Trying another one. Pray. Feel good about it. Go down that path. Shut down. Over and over. It’s extremely frustrating, but I am thankful for tender mercies that come at the right times to keep reminding me that it is all for a greater plan. Heavenly Father loves me. He is guiding me and my family. It will work out. A saying we live by: “Heavenly Father only blesses UP.” What I need to add to that is “…eventually.”
Thanks for a great article–a tender mercy to keep me from getting angryyyyyy. 🙂
My family too is in this same struggle. My husband recently graduated college after our life situation changed and he decided to go back two years ago. He has been struggling to find work in his occupation even when there are opportunities available. This post comes at a time where I am feeling like our way is constantly hedged up, even when it seems we are doing what we should, praying as we should, and listening as we should. I have certainly felt the frustration building up and have struggled to remember to wait on the Lord. Thank you for this timely message MMM, and Leann. thank you for letting me know that I am not alone in how I am feeling!
And wow! A comments section as worthy as the post 🙂
When it comes to the comparison of the bread/fish and the stone/serpent, I always stuck with the idea that God wouldn’t give us something evil when we asked for something good, but much of the time we don’t know the difference and we toss out the bread, thinking God gave us the stone. In the end, is the trial that brought us closer to Christ really a serpent, or just a fish that came in a form we didn’t want? I like all of the perspectives that have been shared.
I always think your point is spot on…..most of the time I think we do toss out the bread or fish, thinking it is a stone or serpent. It doesn’t look the way we thought it should so we think it is not a good gift or not the right gift. But if we can remember our perspective and remind ourselves that God does not give bad gifts (that would be against His nature), then we have to ask ourselves, “Why would God give me THIS?”—what am I suppose to learn or what am I suppose to do…. Instead of getting angry and frustrated, to ponder a little more and pray about understanding God’s purpose and point in the gift will sometimes, if we are open and listening, give us insight and information. It is a matter of trust and softening our hearts, which I believe is part of the purpose of mortality…
I have a friend. Let’s call her Fred. Her way has been hedged up when it comes to marrying. She cannot swallow the bitter pill that maybe marriage isn’t the Lords plan for her. How do I help her to know that her stone may one day yield bread without adding to her defeat? I really struggle with this – especially when the blessing she so desires is one I have!
I think that this guest post from a couple of weeks ago is insightful – and not just because it was written by my daughter. http://middleagedmormonman.com/2014/07/guest-post-on-teaching-and-being-taught.html
When you express that someone is not able to “swallow the bitter pill,” then it really becomes an issue of faith and trust in the Lord, and that is where the focus might be.
So I have personal experience with this being true. Loved the Fredikiahah story. Very cute. I always thought of it as learning what it meant to “kick against the pricks”. Am I using that phrase wrong?
Nope. You got it.
Two thoughts: First, I have had plenty, plenty of experience where I have thought I knew ‘God’s plan’ and where I was going, only to find out that I had somehow gotten the wrong play book! Then I came across this scripture, D&C 3:3
Remember, remember that it is not the work of God that is frustrated, but the work of men;
Now whenever I feel like I am banging my head against a brick wall, I have this thought: maybe this is the work of Carin and not the work of God. (Almost always, that is the case…I’m working the plan of Carin, at whatever point I may be in the process: decision, implementation, goal, whatever.)
#2: I had an experience once where I asked for something from God. I knew it was what He wanted for me because before I asked, I made sure my heart and mind were pliable and submissive to His will so I did not ask “amiss”. (I was aware of that scripture and was trying to be ‘in the plan’.) So when it didn’t materialize the way I thought it should and I asked what the issue was, the response was, “you didn’t ask me if the time was right”. WHAT??!! Not only am I not suppose to ask amiss but you (God) have a timetable too? Obviously I was frustrated, but I learned that the work of God is not frustrated, only the plan of Carin.
You know, this whole mortality and learning thingy is a lot harder on the heart than I think we thought it would be in the theory classes of the pre-existence!
All these comments are deep and stuff and I’m just sitting here laughing my butt off.
great post.
-your fav youth reader, Emma.
Hooray for Emma!
Somewhere in our development and progression each learn that answers to prayer are, yes, no, later, perhaps, think about it some more, etc. I love the testimonies of a child finding a lost trinket because they prayed. Yet it is far from the growth that comes when a teenaged FOML asks, “Dad, I have been praying for Mom to get better, we have fasted, my seminary has fasted, the ward has fasted and she is still not getting better. — -Is it because — I am unworthy?
Outstanding blog and post — Thanks so much!!!!
Uncanny…. I have just been writing the section in my book on the Lord’s Will and Ask, Believe, Receive. Very interesting insights. I hope you’ll like mine…. if you read my book….(I need to get it done). 😉 Thanks for more great insights!! Love it!
“nevertheless not my will but thine be done.” I feel, sometimes, as if I need this reminder daily. I guess in the end it is a trust issue. Do I really trust that Heavenly Father knows me better than I know myself? Do I really trust Him to put me in the situations that will make me grow? I like to think I do this. In reality, I really stink at it. Thank you for the amazing post MMM. As always, very timely and profound.
I agree. Sometimes those shut-downs and turn-arounds end up being some of the greatest blessings we can have in this life. Sometimes. 🙂
I had a discussion last night about this very topic. It can be frustrating when you think you understand what the Lords plans for you are, and you are completely wrong. Or when you follow inspiration and you try to figure the end result and are wrong about that,too. I have had to learn not to have preconceived notions about where inspiration could be taking me. Thanks for the post. It was fantastic.
This comment made me think of that Mormon Message featuring Elder Holland where he was prompted to go down the wrong road (literally) initially, so that he would quickly KNOW it was the wrong road and not waste time questioning the longer right road when it seemed unfamiliar… (can’t find it at the moment, maybe it wasn’t Elder Holland).
It was Elder Holland (as a boy) with his father. I don’t know where it is right now, but I had to look it up one time to check it also.
Here you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yNQC-_srxH8
Love this. My ten year old was doubled over laughing about Fred. Thank you. It spoke truth and gave a great perspective. I’m saving this for future family home evenings.
reminds me of a story told by an apostle, Hugh B. Brown, I think, that was seeking promotion in the British military, but was turned down because “this man is a Mormon”. It would have been a big step in his career….
I have some reservation about the notion of God laughing at our plans. I cannot envision Him laughing at our plan in derision or contempt. After all, he instructs us to make a plan or decision and then present it to him in prayer for His review and hopefully His approval. D&C 9:7-9. I can however envision Him laughing with joy that we are obedient to that counsel, and that we are showing some progress towards becoming more like our Father who is surely the Master Planner.
I’m pretty sure he was giggling with every one of these “my mother’s revenges” he sent to us. We had no idea what was coming (3 have time demanding special needs)! The 4 out of 6 that came despite preventative methods to try and get some recovery time between them probably made him laugh a little too. They’re quite the adventure. When my mom cursed me with 6 just like me she hadn’t realized we’d be living in the same city and have to have so much interaction with them. 😉 ha ha
I agree with 99% of this great post, especially the part about Fredikiahah’s calves! OK treading carefully here. The only part that struck me as just a little off was this line: ” Do we feel Fred’s frustration in failure, when there was absolutely ZERO CHANCE that we would ever be successful in that quest?” I think it’s too blunt a statement, and perhaps completely false especially when linking it to those who desire to be married or to become a parent. I would hate to think that those who fail to find an eternal companion in this life, or those who fail to conceive a child are unsuccessful only because they would totally stink at it. Or that the Lord thinks they would fail at marriage or parenthood. Yikes! I can’t imagine that’s true and I hurt for those that take that idea into their hearts. It only perpetuates their struggles with self worth in those circumstances. I prefer to imagine that the Lord has complete confidence in their abilities but has another special plan for them and that they will receive all the the Father has in store for them in due time.
The blunt point is merely this. If God doesn’t want something to happen, he can prevent it from happening. As far as personal application goes, it probably varies with every individual, thus necessitating the guidance of the Spirit. You came up with the idea that God would prevent people from finding a mate, or being parents because they would stink at it. I made no such inference.
(If God prevented people who suck at being parents from having children, there would be far fewer children ion the world.)
You’re right. You know what you meant and so I believe that you weren’t inferring people would stink at these life pursuits. But it could be misinterpreted. So what are people to do when they can’t find a mate or can’t conceive after what feels like forever to them? Do they just decide God doesn’t want those blessings for them and quit trying? Obviously Fred should have given up before he even started, but he didn’t know that.
A little more of my perspective on this…I really don’t think that just because we aren’t achieving our desires, whether they be righteous or not, it’s simply because God is in charge and He doesn’t approve of that plan right now. Sometimes it’s because of our own lack of knowledge or skill. Perhaps a man has been trying to get a job for a long time but is lousy at resumes or shows up for interviews looking sloppy and ill suited for the job. He’s most likely not going to get the job. Doesn’t necessarily mean the Lord doesn’t want him to get that job. He just needs someone to give him some practical help.
Another scenario: a woman has been praying to find a man to marry but has very angry and sarcastic social skills and frankly doesn’t realize how offensive she is. It may not have anything at all to do with the Lord’s desire for her to stay single for now. She simply has lousy social skills and people can’t stand to be around her. The Lord would love to bless her with a husband but she needs to learn how to soften her personality first.
I don’t disagree that God has absolute power to shut down anything at all in our lives according to His will, or direct us in miraculous ways to achieve things we didn’t think possible. But in general, I personally believe that our Father in Heaven doesn’t micro-manage our lives to the point that we can only achieve specific things. If I had the capability to control my children’s lives to that degree, I would leave many doors open to them and allow them to choose, to explore, to achieve sometimes. Also to make some really dumb mistakes in order to learn and gain wisdom the hard way.
I just think we need to be very careful not to attribute all our failures to get something we’ve prayed for to “the Lord just doesn’t want me to have it”. I think He wants us to pray and ask for assistance and His blessing, and then do all in our power to accomplish our goals. It might take more than just prayer. It might take some very real earthly schooling to get where we desire to be.
I agree with everything you have said – which is why the partnership with the Lord, and the companionship with the Holy Ghost is essential – The Holy Ghost can mold us into what God wants us to be.
As I read the question “If a son shall ask bread…will he give a stone?”, the thought occurred to me that the answer may very well be yes. However, along with the stone the Lord (the Father) often gives us (the son) the wheat, yeast, sugar, oil, salt, water, and heat that are necessary to make bread ourselves. It will take a lot of time and effort to use the stone to transform the wheat into flour; we may need guidance to add the proper amounts of the other ingredients, and it will take additional effort on our part as we mix and knead and shape the dough. We will learn patience as we let the dough rise and bake and cool before we finally end up with the bread. So, in the end, the desire was met (the son asking for bread), but the process in which he obtained that bread may have been very different than what he initially expected (a ready made sandwich with no additional individual effort required on the part of the son). The key is to recognize that the Lord really does know the end from the beginning and we just need to trust HIm.
I love that. I have never heard, or considered the thought that the stone could end up helping make the bread. Can you make the same connection for me in the next verse, where the son asks for an egg, but gets a scorpion?
Nope, but for a great talk involving a scorpion check out this talk 🙂
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/come-unto-me-with-full-purpose-of-heart-and-i-shall-heal-you?lang=eng
Great talk. Thank you for the reminder.
A quick look online found this: scorpions are symbolic of death, eggs symbolic of life.
Also, in relation to this topic overall, I was reading in my scriptures the other day and read this in
1 Nephi 7:17-18:
“But it came to pass that I prayed unto the Lord, saying: O Lord, according to my faith which is in thee, wilt thou deliver me from the hands of my brethren; yea even give me strength that I may burst these bands with which I am bound.
And it came to pass that when I had said these words, behold, the bands were loosed from off my hands and feet, and I stood before my brethren…”
The “burst these bands” felt like Nephi was maybe asking for something incredible and amazing to happen to get the ropes off him. And even though Heavenly Father answered the prayer to get the ropes off, they came off in a much more quiet way than it seems like Nephi was maybe asking for them to happen.
I do think that happens often, that we have an idea of exactly how we think Heavenly Father should answer our prayers, and yet, while He does answer, it isn’t always exactly how we think it should be done.
Which then makes me think of this Mormon Message:
http://www.mormonchannel.org/video/mormon-messages?v=3701964025001
His prayer and fasting was answered…just not quite like he thought it might be.
“Eggs have a lot of cholesterol, and in this heat, could have salmonella. Here. Roast up this scorpion instead. Crunchy on the outside, with a soft gooey center.” 🙂
Reminds me of Hugh B Brown’s excellent talk about the currant bush. Thanks for sharing this.
Lately I have been studying about prayer and personal revelation and why sometimes things take forever. This post is something good to add to my study. Thanks, and welcome back.
Well put again. After living in the Middle East for three years and watching the village women make flour by grinding the wheat with a rounded stone, one day it occurred to me that perhaps the stone instead of bread was meant to help us learn to make the flour to eventually make the bread. Everything the Father gives us is meant for our ‘learning and profit’.
This stone to bread concept really strikes a chord with me- I will have to find some way to remember this, as I’m sure I’ll need to come back to it.
Great minds think alike 🙂
In February I was diagnosed with type 2 diabetes. (I haven’t put this out on FB.) It was an answer to prayer. I had known that things weren’t quite right, and I had wanted to make some changes. This was the impetus I needed. I was so relieved to get the diagnosis. Do I wish I had done something before? Of course, but I’m not beating myself up. The past four years would have felled a lesser woman. Diabetes is a School Zone sign on the highway of my life, reminding me to slow to an appropriate speed and pay attention.
That is a wise perspective.
That is because I am a wise guy.
Wiseguy. (No space)
Now who’s the grammar police? 😉 we are conveniently blaming this on autocorrect.(That would be the Royal We.)
Excellent and thought provoking. My favorite quote, “If you want to make God laugh tell him your plan.”
Great stuff. And here’s another excellent talk that your FOML’s might like. It’s one of my top-3 ever about prayer and answers.
http://speeches.byu.edu/?act=viewitem&id=2164
“Every sincere prayer is heard and answered by our Heavenly Father, but the answers we receive may not be what we expect or come to us when we want or in the way we anticipate.” (Elder Bednar)
Yes! This I have experienced, praying, sometimes with a specific request, and receiving answers in a way or at a time that were not of my own choosing. Sometimes I’m asking amiss and sometimes I simply do not know what to ask, only that I must ask for his help.
Nephi sums up my feelings well in 1Ne 11:17: And I said unto him: I know that he loveth his children; nevertheless, I do not know the meaning of all things. I may not understand why God’s answer is what it is, but I do know that He loves me. That’s enough to hold on to. I can trust Him and I can pray for understanding, while recognizing that understanding may not come in mortality.