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NOT on My Christmas List

It is the gift giving season, and I’m sure there are many of you wondering what the perfect gift might be for me. Honestly, I don’t expect you to go to all that trouble, because gift cards are convenient and appreciated.
Should you decide to get me something anyway, I would like to steer you away from some specific books and DVDs that I am just not that interested in getting. I’m sure you will understand.

Religious DVDs

“Johnny Lingo: The Broken Mirror Years”

“Mr. Krueger’s April Fool’s Day”

“Man’s Search for Happiness in 2012: Google vs. Bing”

“The Phone Call: The SA Years – Finding Peace With Caller ID”

“BSA Safety Afloat Training Video”

Religious Books

“But Dad, I Don’t Want to Be a Pilot: The Forgotten Uchtdorf”
by D.F. Uchtdorf, Jr.
“The Book Thief 2”
by Lucy & Martin Harris
“I’ve Seen That Smile Somewhere Before:  How to Work Saturday’s Warrior into Your Daily Conversation.”
by Mike Henneke.
“Making Bank: The Story of EFY.”
(Previously titled “EFY: How to Raise Prices in a Recession.”)
“Don’t Let it Hold You Back!”
– The inspiring stories of how some Church leaders attended U of U, yet still managed to find success and credibility –

Non-Fiction Books

“Dementia & Denial”
by Joseph Biden

“You’re a Runner?  I Had No Idea!”
by Rip Van Winkle

“The Sandwich of Monte Cristo”
by Alexander Dumas & Bobby Flay

“How to Lose all Your Money in 3 Days and 2 Nights”
by Walt Disney

“Regret: The Book I Never Wrote”
by Most Everybody I Know

“The First Mormon President”
(I can get this at the Dollar Store now, so don’t bother.)

“101 7 Perks of Growing Up in Utah”
-Includes Custom Fry Sauce Recipe-

“The Oh-So-Short Life of Pie”
by Yams Carmel

Here

About the author

Comments

  1. I knew you and Mike would hit it off, but I never thought he’d get to be the author of a fictitious book, lame or not.

  2. Let’s not forget the following books

    No Talent, No Problem
    by Justin Bieber w/commentary from Brittany Spiers
    (I’m not implying you have no talent)

    Libya is for Lovers
    by Susan Rice

    How to Borrow your Way out of a Recession
    by Tim Gietner

    Pimsleurs Mandarin Chinese I-III
    for the prospective missionary on your list

  3. Thanks for the comment Miss Self-righteous Hobbit Hater. Let’s just say it is a vast improvement over my last movie widget, and I couldn’t find one for “A Good Day to Die Hard”.

    1. How’z about one for Les Mis? Huh? Huh? That would be totally boss and would get you a spot at the cool kids table!

      And someone has to be the Hobbit Hater. Consider me doing all ya’ll a favor and taking it for the team

    2. No, the cool kid’s table happens to be wherever the cool kids choose to sit. The kids make the table, the table doesn’t make the kids. I’m sorry to have to be the one to explain this to you. 😉

  4. Love the list. Had no idea that Mike was a published author – must get my hands on THAT book since I am CONSTANTLY needing to work Saturday’s Warrior into every day convo.

    And really?!?! A Hobbit countdown widget? Please tell me it’s sarcasm again. Please? No?….*sigh*
    #whyareallmyfriendsnerds?

  5. Why is “7 Perks of Growing Up in Utah” listed under non-fiction? Unless it’s really just a pamphlet that has the following:

    Perk #1: You can move away when you’re old enough

    Perks #2-#7: See Perk#1

    Tom

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