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Down in the Dumps

Have you ever been “Down in the Dumps?”  I have. I heard the expression this morning – more on that later.

The literal interpretation is gross. I never much cared for going down to the dump.  It is an old expression that has nothing to do with trash. It was in use long before we began calling the place where we “dump” our refuse.  In fact, it has been around since the early 1500s, and Shakespeare himself used the term frequently.

Basically, the idiom “down in the dumps” means to be sad, melancholy, unhappy or depressed.

This morning I was out the door before anyone else was up, for some early appointments.  A bit later, I texted my EC to see how things were going. She told me what she had been doing, and I asked how she was doing.

“I’m down in the dumps.”

That is an infrequent expression for my EC. And one that makes me sad to hear. Her life is complicated and challenging right now, and she has handled it with incredible grace. But everybody finds themselves at the dump now and again.

Because I am wise, I immediately left what I was doing and rushed home with a donut and a 32oz Diet Coke. We talked for a bit, and I made the usual man mistake of trying to solve all the problems with one pass of my manly logic – to no avail.

I couldn’t stay long, as we both had commitments, and I won’t be able to get back to her until this evening.

So, I am turning to my intelligent, witty, and extremely attractive readers to make some comments to help me brighten her day. A spiritual thought, a quote, a joke, a personal humiliating experience that we can all laugh at, etc. (No, you don’t need to express sympathy for what she goes through being my wife – believe me, she is well aware of what that implies.)

Hopefully, my blog has brightened an occasional gloomy day for you – if it has, consider this payback.

Thanks!

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Comments

  1. I’m late to the party because, 1. I needed help posting comments on MMM’s blog and 2. because I never saw this post. I’ve been relying on MMM to post to FB to keep me updated and he must not have posted this one. Anyway, I have a great respect for you MMM’s EC. And I am sorry you are going through a tough spot. Hopefully, by now you are feeling better, but I’ll share my story just in case. When I lived in Seattle my best friend, who was also my roommate, took the ferry over to Vashon Island one gloomy afternoon to sight see. She was on the boat and became excited over something-or-other, knowing her it was something shiny, and she started jumping up and down in her exuberance. Her phone popped out of her jacket pocket and landed with a plop into the Puget Sound. When she got home she related the entire story to me and immediately got up and went to our home phone. I asked her who she was calling. She said, “my phone.” I said,” but it’s in the ocean.” She said, “yes but I just want to see if anyone answers.” True story.

  2. “I am turning to my intelligent, witty, and extremely attractive readers” – I may be intelligent and whitty, but extremely attractive I am not. Does that mean you are not wanting me advice?

    A Happy Hubby

  3. Things like the following story happen to us all the time. I doubt your wife is still ‘down in the dumps’ today but it should make you laugh regardless.

    We were at church and it was time to pass the sacrament. My 2 yo baby was on my husbands lap, the 3 1/2 yo was on my lap, my 5 yo was next to me and the recently baptized 8 yo was next to her. When the bread got to us the 3 1/2 yo clapped his hands and said “Yum, chocolate bread!” The 2 yo was equally excited about the bread that was dark enough to be mistaken as chocolate.

    The baby, husband and 3 1/2 yo each took a piece of chocolate bread. By the time the tray got to the 5 yo, the baby was making gagging noises and saying “Eww, gross!” He promptly spit his chewed up chocolate bread all over my husbands suit. I giggled. Husband asked for a wet wipe and as I bend over the 3 1/2 yo starts saying “That not chocolate bread!!” He spits his out and starts using his own tie to wipe the bread off his tongue. I am trying really hard to stifle my giggles.

    I grab the wet wipes and feel the 5 yo start tapping my arm. I look over and she has her chewed up bread stuck between her teeth. I tell her to just swallow it and she shakes her head. She won’t do it. I find a wet wipe for her to spit in.

    The adorable 8 yo starts to whisper shout “Mom–I need water!” I get the sippy cups out and all my kids rush at them liked parched wild animals.

    The water doesn’t help, at all.

    By this point I am in hysterics and the tears are running down my face. My husband is laughing and so are the people all around us.

    My friend behind us saved the day when she handed me a box of Ice Breaker mints. I have never given my kids that kind of mint because they are so strong. But we were desperate! I passed them out quickly and my kids felt instant relief from the nastiness of the not so chocolate, chocolate bread.

    My friend whispers “what kind of bread was that? We had white.”

    “Rye or pumpernickel” I giggle.

    Too bad it wasn’t April 1st. Or maybe somebody thought that it was.

  4. To MMM EC:
    My father used to say, whenever I felt down 3 simple words:
    “Cheer up, Buttercup”. Those words make me smile every time. Not sure if it is my inner-child’s love for rhyming or what, but those words can help…

    But then, as I got older and dealt with the ups and downs of life I came to realize a few things, and hopefully you can benefit from the same ideas, or at least maybe the following statements can begin chains of thoughts that will help you get less “in the dumps”:

    “Without the sunset, we could never appreciate the sunrise.”
    Think about it… While things may get you down, realize you are being prepped and primed to be able to acknowledge great works in your life. 🙂

    “Why do we ride roller coasters? For the ups and downs… otherwise, we’d just take a train.” Life is a roller coaster. We go up…. we go down… sometimes we spin violently, twisting and turning, screaming our heads off! But all in all, it’s part of the ride, and it’s what makes us stronger, braver, and better for it in the long run.

    I hope this message has brought forth a shed of a smile (at least), and you feel less ‘dumpy’ asap. 🙂

    Take care!!

    btw: MMM? Good job on the doughnut and diet coke… gold star!

  5. “That car’s uglier than I am! That didn’t come out right.” -American Graffiti

    or

    “It’s better to look up.”

  6. You might not be looking at these anymore… but someone mentioned how much better you feel when watching babies laugh, and I had to include this one which reminds me of an experience:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UjXi6X-moxE

    I was in Sacrament Meeting a couple years ago and a husband and wife in front of me had a little boy about this age, and I can’t remember what the husband did, but you know, something to keep the baby entertained… and the little boy started laughing like this. Only he didn’t stop. He was belly laughing at nothing and going on and on and all his parents efforts to get him to stop just made him more and more amused. It was so funny and he was so darling and it was amusing to watch the parents try and be serious to make him stop and it would totally backfire and quite a few of us in the rows behind him started chuckling… and unfortunately the father thought he was disturbing everyone and took him to the foyer. I have never seen a baby carried out for laughing, before or since.

  7. This is from my EC: Sister MMM. The Queen.

    Dear MMM friends!

    I want to thank you for all the kind words, and funny stories. They made me smile and laugh. I really appreciated the suggestion from Bonnie to watch the Piano Guys video – it brought tears to my eyes, and peace to my heart.

    I especially appreciate MMM for dropping everything for dropping everything and bringing me a Diet Coke and a donut – and for loving me.

    Thanks again,

    EC of MMM

  8. A true story (aren’t they all?):

    I went to renew my drivers license. The man in line in front of me walked up to the counter. The nice lady typed some information into her computer, and then asked him to step over to the end of the counter and through the doorway to fill out some paperwork.

    He went through the door, and there was a metallic sound of clinking and clicking, and a little shuffling.

    Then the nice lady at the counter said, “Next!”

    My turn, and as I hesitantly approached her, I said, “I am not sure I want to renew my drivers license today.”

    She said, “Oh, don’t worry. There will not be any problem at all if you do not have three warrants out for your arrest.”

  9. Simple solution: Go pin something. Pinterest makes everything better…I know that is not very inspirational but it works. I also agree with anonymous (the only other comment I read because it was short and right above mine and I live on the east coast and need to go to bed). Praying more helps too but since it was taken I went with pinning….

  10. Hmmm….well I just figure if I survive raising 6 kids I will end up institutionalized so when I need a pick me up I just picture myself in that happy place that their plentiful drugs will take me to. My theory is juice me up so I don’t know I’m there and everything takes on a Hawaiian theme. So my dear….if it gets to be too much….you can meet me there!!!

  11. something uplifting:
    “Hope is critical to both faith and charity. When disobedience, disappointment, and procrastination erode faith, hope is there to uphold our faith. When frustration and impatience challenge charity, hope braces our resolve and urges us to care for our fellowmen even without expectation of reward. The brighter our hope, the greater our faith. The stronger our hope, the purer our charity.”
    –Dieter F. Uchtdorf

    something (vaguely) funny:
    Q: Why do missionaries have really big bladders?
    A: Because they only get one P-day each week.

  12. Here’s a quote I love.
    “You are doing the best you can, and that best results in good to yourself and to others. Do not nag yourself with a sense of failure. Get on your knees and ask for the blessings of the Lord; then stand on your feet and do what you are asked to do. Then leave the matter in the hands of the Lord. You will discover that you have accomplished something beyond price.”
    -Gordon B. Hinckley

  13. I suffer from actual depression (as in I need medication to stop the demons from taking over my existence), and so I completely understand what it’s like to be down. When I feel awful, I take long hot showers and pray like crazy. I also try to get sunshine, chocolate, and talk to a friend. It helps.

    But this might help, too. Because I love to laugh –it makes everything feel better! (it’s from Studio C on BYUtv)

    http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=pSr7HPikHog&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DpSr7HPikHog

  14. I dont know if this applies here or not, but one of my favorite quotes from Elder Holland always helps me. He said “cherish your spiritual burdens. God will speak to you though them.”

    If that doesnt apply then just let her know it could always be worse. I have a math final next week at 6:45 AM. If she wants to trade places for a day I would be happy to do it that day! 🙂

  15. Boyd K Packer said something that helps me get through rough days: “Occasionally a missionary will come to me and tell me that he (or she) has been feeling depressed or discouraged. Barring serious sin, my answer is always ‘Good! Enjoy it, because it proves that you are human and still growing, and don’t worry, the first sunny day that comes along will make everything much more manageable.'”

  16. And a funny story….

    My six year old son asked for a suit for his birthday so he could dress just like dad at church. He got his wish and looked very dapper in it. At church he received many, many compliments to which he always replied, “Thanks. It’s my birthday suit!”

    He couldn’t figure out why all the adults were laughing at his reply…

  17. One of my children has had a mordant wit since she could barely walk. I was having a conversation with her when she was about three and a half, and I was pregnant with her next-younger sibling. As I opened my mouth to share some morsel of motherly wisdom, a tiny fly flew in, did a bank shot off my uvula, and was down the hatch before I could think. Said I, “Oh honey, I swallowed a fly!” Said she, “Perhaps you’ll die.”

    If that doesn’t crack Sister MMM up, then she should try this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_3NpHlkRh_Y

    Guilty pleasure. I used to own that CD. It got loved to death. Warning, there is a rude word for “derriere” at the very end. She might want to listen with headphones.

  18. Music is balm to the troubled soul. Send her the new Mormon Messages video of the piano guys doing Oh Come Emmanuel. And pray for her heart. Even chocolate isn’t as magical as prayer. And I’ll pray for her heart too, right now.

  19. When I start feeling down in the dumps I read the experience that happened to Rebecca Bean, who served a mission with her husband, Willard, to Palmyra for 24 years. Yes 24! They moved there as newlyweds. I recommend it to anyone who is having a very hard day!

    Motherhood, Service of the Highest Order

    Rebecca’s actual experience starts just a bit down in the post where the big quotation marks are. The rest of the post is optional as they are my own thoughts as I applied Rebecca’s story to motherhood.

  20. Dear EC…of MMM.

    For some reason MMM was too shy to post this, so he asked me to…he said the song had special meaning for the two of you, young lovers!

    Or you can listen to it here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJO3ROT-A4E

    You’ll feel better, I”m sure…or worse?

    You’re insecure
    Don’t know what for
    You’re turning heads when you walk through the door
    Don’t need make up
    To cover up
    Being the way that you are is enough

    Everyone else in the room can see it
    Everyone else but you

    [Chorus]
    Baby you light up my world like nobody else
    The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed
    But when you smile at the ground it aint hard to tell
    You don’t know
    Oh Oh
    You don’t know you’re beautiful

    If only you saw what I can see
    You’ll understand why I want you so desperately
    Right now I’m looking at you and I can’t believe
    You don’t know
    Oh oh
    You don’t know you’re beautiful
    Oh oh
    That what makes you beautiful

    So c-come on
    You got it wrong
    To prove I’m right I put it in a song
    I don’t know why
    You’re being shy
    And turn away when I look into your eyes

    Everyone else in the room can see it
    Everyone else but you

    [Chorus]
    Baby you light up my world like nobody else
    The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed
    But when you smile at the ground it aint hard to tell
    You don’t know
    Oh oh
    You don’t know you’re beautiful

    If only you saw what I can see
    You’ll understand why I want you so desperately
    Right now I’m looking at you and I can’t believe
    You don’t know
    Oh oh
    You don’t know you’re beautiful
    Oh oh
    That’s what makes you beautiful

    [Bridge]
    Nana Nana Nana Nana
    Nana Nana Nana Nana
    Nana Nana Nana Nana

    Baby you light up my world like nobody else
    The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed
    But when you smile at the ground it aint hard to tell
    You don’t know
    Oh Oh
    You don’t know you’re beautiful

    [Chorus]
    Baby you light up my world like nobody else
    The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed
    But when you smile at the ground it aint hard to tell
    You don’t know
    Oh oh
    You don’t know you’re beautiful

    If only you saw what I can see
    You’ll understand why I want you so desperately
    Right now I’m looking at you and I can’t believe
    You don’t know
    Oh Oh
    You don’t know you’re beautiful
    Oh oh
    You don’t know you’re beautiful
    Oh oh
    That’s what makes you beautiful

  21. My post about my SIL getting a face full of Donny Osmond’s butt. And she froze. Her teenage daughter said “Mom- God gave you hands for a reason!” I have been laughing about that for days!

  22. Mrs. MMM,

    (MMW? MMMMYEC?) [MMM’s Much Younger EC]

    I’m sorry to hear you’re sad. I wish I had some intelligent, witty, extremely attractive advice that would brighten your day and lift you out of the dumps. Truth is, I’m not very good at that. All I can say is, “this too shall pass.” Things will get better — they always do. Life is good, even if it’s hard to see that sometimes. I’m sorry you’re having a bad day.

    Thank you for sharing MMM with us. He often makes my day better, and I can tell what a wonderful person you are by how he writes about you. I’m sure his wit and inspiration mostly come from you. 🙂

  23. Here’s my peanut butter story.

    So, we buy all natural peanut butter, which is nice and all, but the oil separates to the top in a new container which requires stirring in. This is tough to do by hand, so I hit upon the idea of using my electric blender. Last time I did it, I dumped the entire tub of PB into a mixing bowl and then labouriously scooped it all back into the tub after it was mixed. This time, I very cleverly decided to cut out the middle man and just mix it in the container.

    I also didn’t bother to hold onto the container once I started the blender. Peanut oil – EVERYWHERE.

    Everything seemed to go in slow motion, as I stood there in shock, watching peanut oil fling itself into the far corners of my kitchen and the peanut butter container doing elegant rotations in time with the speed of my electric mixer.

    Peanut oil has a rather strong smell, so that was fun for a few days.

    And that peanut butter still hasn’t been mixed properly. All that I managed to do was create a dent.

  24. At the risk of getting blocked for self promotion, I wrote today’s blog post from the dumps. It was tough getting Wi-Fi out there, let me tell you.

    But no matter what MMM will tell you, the words flowed as if inspiration were present. They helped me. Hopefully they will help you. If MMM cuts me off, it’s been nice knowing all of you.

    http://thismike.com/2012/12/04/what-can-you-do/

  25. You’re welcome to show her my 90’s Christmas sweater/turtleneck picture. Mike and David seem to get no end of enjoyment from that picture.

    1. I think I know you from HS I noticed we have one mutual friend other then MMM. Maybe I recognize you from her?

  26. I am so proud of the my sons who as young men already know that you just give a hug and listen. You might do something helpful. You might produce chocolate. But mostly you hug and listen. And then you tell her how much you love her and a few reasons why. It’s ok if she cries. It’s good for her sometimes. Give her a shoulder. Not a cold shoulder. A warm caring shoulder to cry on.

    1. Speaking of listening – you missed the point. The point is that I am not there to hug, listen, provide shoulder, etc. We are good, madly in love, and fine – but right now we are apart.

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