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Q&A: Low Hanging Fruit pt. 1

Can’t express how much I love this picture.

That’s a lot of questions! (here) I was anticipating six or seven – but fifty is good, too!  What I feel best about is that we have a place to talk about things where we feel safe from those who would call good evil and evil good.

I was also glad to see that some of you already jumped in to help. I’ll tell you right now that some of this stuff is way beyond what I will opine about…

Here’s how the answers work:  I already answered a few in the comment section. Then I will go through the rest and decide which ones to answer. If I see a “theme” progressing, I will write a blog post to address that theme. Some I will try and tackle individually. And of course, there are some that I won’t touch because I don’t have the authority, or the knowledge, to address them. (I’m sorry to disappoint those of you who figured I knew just about everything there is to know. It is totally understandable why you would think that.)

There are a few that I can answer without a lot of work, and if there is one thing I like, it’s work avoidance. So, here are some questions that are “low-hanging fruit” or “softballs.”  Here we go…

Q #1:  “Hey, MMM! Wouldn’t your clever little book “Failed Family Mottos” be the perfect Valentine’s Day gift for my big lug? And if I buy it now, will it get here in time for Valentine’s Day?”

A: Yes! It would be a perfect gift, and yes, you will get it in plenty of time.  Order here: “Failed Family Mottos.”

OK. This is off to an ignominious start.  That wasn’t a real question. I took this wonderful opportunity and turned it into a shameful plug for my hysterical gift book that you should order quickly in time for your Valentine. I apologize,

Q#2: Right out of the gate, Doug had questions about my anonymity: “Why did you choose to do an anonymous blog? How do you think that choice has affected your blog’s success and your personal life?”

A: I began my blog about 6 weeks after being released as bishop. I suddenly had time on my hands, plenty of thoughts and opinions, and no forum whatsoever to share them in.  So, I decided to start writing a bit. I chose to be anonymous, because I wanted to fade into the woodwork as our ward changed leadership, rather than shouting “Look at me! Look at me!”  There is also a great degree of satisfaction in knowing that people read because they like to, not because they are people who know me, or are related.

I think the anonymity actually has made the blog more successful, because of the curiosity factor. The real me is less interesting than MMM. My EC is tired of the anonymity and wants me to go public. I, however, fear that most of you would be so disappointed that I am just an ordinary dude that you would walk away shaking your heads, Time will tell.

The blog has been a blessing to me. I have met some wonderful people, many who have shared great experiences with me. There has been a lot of behind the scenes correspondence with some readers. I have seen people’s lives be blessed because of what they read here – something I never considered when I started.  This has also been good for me because it helps me study more, observe more, and try to figure out ways to teach gospel principles in new, and easy ways.  (Right now the only downside is that I spend too much time on Facebook. And by “too much time,” I mean “any.”

Q#3: TJ asked “What was/is your favorite calling and why? Which calling have you learned the most from?”

A:  I really loved serving as bishop, but it was really hard. I can’t imagine a calling where you are required to learn more about the gospel, the Spirit and yourself. Up until that point, my favorite calling was Gospel Doctrine instructor.  (Which I am doing again)  It forces me into the scriptures more often, and I study harder, with more of a purpose – and that is always a good thing. I know some people would consider it a form of torture, but I love it. (One reason my blog posts are less frequent this month is because I have been spending more time on this new calling.)

Q#4: Anonymous asked: “Do you suspect (I know you don’t know) that the Second Coming will happen in the next 50 years? 100 years? Sooner, later?”

A: No idea. And neither does anyone else. If they claim to, the only thing you really know is that they are stupid. That is the beauty of it. Anyone who loves sports knows that it is dangerous to try and “run out the clock.”

And yes, I have heard of many people who were told in their Patriarchal blessing that the Second Coming will be in their lifetime. And there are probably a lot of dead people who were told the same thing. And no, I don’t know why. I guess the answer is to live everyday like the Second Coming might be next weekend. (Most likely during the SuperBowl)

Q#5: jw asked “Geneva Steel is gone, so why is the air quality so abysmal here in Provo this year?”

A: There are many possibilities, but I’m not sure which is the culprit.

 • Temperature inversion.
 • Massive amounts of hot air moving down the Wasatch Front from U of U.
 • Increase in women driving to Zupas for lunch.
 • The filth of Vegas drifting Northward.
 • It accompanied attendees of the Sundance Film Festival from Hollywood.
 • It’s Provo. What do you expect?

That is enough for one morning. Time to go stare in the pantry and see what I want for breakfast. Have a lovely day!



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Comments

  1. I recently saw a woman closing her blog down because she didn’t feel like she could say what she “really thought” anymore because her friends were reading it and she didn’t want to hurt their feelings. Anonymity is great.

  2. Thanks for answering my question. I love callings that encourage me to dig into the gospel, too. S-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g can feel like torture sometimes, but in the end I know I’m closer to the Lord than when I started. And that makes it all worth the effort!

  3. I really enjoy your blog.You have said alot of things that make me think and it has also entertained me on a regular basis. I am a young women’s leader and would love to hear more of your thoughts on the youth.

    Thanks!

  4. I like that you’re anonymous. If you weren’t, I don’t think I could tell you stuff.(maybe a good reason to come out) And it would be weird for my hubby if I always said, “you know John Smith, he said something interesting…” However, he occasionally will read MMM.

  5. How does one remind a teenage boy about things they need to do without seeming like/being a nag? Mind you, phylacteries will be discarded and/or ignored, especially during swim season.
    Being the mother seems to bring a natural bit of ignoribility (it is hard to know if a word is spelled right when it is a made up word).

    1. Aunt Sue:
      I have a picture of my grandfather at a deer hunting camp. (This was in the late 1920’s or early 1930’s,I think) They had been there two weeks, and he was wearing a white shirt, tie and was clean shaven and neatly combed. The other men there of course were in plaid flannel with two weeks of beard and shaggy hair. Some men just have more class, like those who wear a suit to pick fruit.

  6. And now I understand the air quality in Utah County. I will also use Sundance as the excuse for it being equally bad in SL county. Thanks for the insight!

  7. I have a makes-absolutely-no-difference-in-my-eternal-progression question from Gospel Doctrine last week. Our teacher mentioned that the falling away HAD to happen, more or less equating it with Adam’s fall. I always thought that Heavenly Father, who sees the end from the beginning, knew what we would do with the Gospel once Christ was not on the earth and provided a way for it to be restored, but not because it was necessary – just that it was going to happen. Adam’s fall I get – that really did have to be. But the restoration? I think it happened because we’re people and we mess things up and HF knew we would. Am I missing something?

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