Recently I posted three levels of tips for husbands that could help improve their marriage. I suggest you read them, Level 1, Level 2, Level 3.
I am the first to admit that in the process of putting it together there were some tips that didn’t make the grade – either they were just too difficult, or just plain bad advice. I decided to take a chance and post them anyway. To be forewarned is to be forearmed.
12 Not-As-Good Tips For Husbands
1) If you find yourself sitting in that lonely chair outside a changing room while your wife is trying on clothes, when she emerges and asks you what you think, remember to actually look up from your phone and see what she has on BEFORE you tell her it looks great. (Come to think of it, that one is a pretty good tip!)
2) If she ever asks you if an outfit makes her look fat, look and see. If it does, say “absolutely.” Because honesty is crucial to an enduring marriage.
3) Make up cute nicknames for your in-laws. Your wife will love this.
4) If your wife is a stay-at-home mom, remember to show your concern when you get home by asking her, “So, what have you been doing all day?”
5) Make sure you don’t interfere with getting the kids ready for church, because your wife is much better at it than you are, and she will just need to fix them anyway.
6) Tuck copies of anti-pornography Conference talks into her romance novels. Because you care.
7) Rather than expect her to do your wash, go ahead and wear that dirty shirt a few more times.
8) Always do your fair share of the chores around the house. That way, if she gets bored while you are watching a game, you can remind her that there is a lawn out there that needs mowed.
9) If you are on your way home, and realize that you are in a foul mood, swing by a fancy women’s’ shoe store. You don’t need to actually buy her anything – just look around for a few minutes, and you will find yourself laughing uncontrollably. Then continue home with a smile on your face. (Hmm. This one is pretty good, too.)
10) Never tell your children that the term “endure to the end” is modified Egyptian for the word “marriage.”
11) Make the decision that every girl you ever dated before your spouse was physically loathsome, and emotionally/psychologically flawed.
12) Give her money and let her buy her own gifts for Mother’s Day, birthdays and Christmas. It is a great way to remind her, and your kids, that she wears the pants in the family.
Glad to be of help. Many happy returns.
Oh my! This had me rolling on the floor! I love love love it!!!!!
Laughing at #4 because it happened at our house — ONCE. I never said a word. I just spent the next day reading a good book and let the kids completely destroy the house. Dad came home and couldn’t open the front door because it was blocked with “stuff.” He never said a word either — just spent the entire evening cleaning house.
#1 would never happen. I don’t take him shopping…because I hate shopping. HAAAAAATE it. So when I need new clothes cos the others are…y’know…worn thin and are from the 90s… I go alone, so I can whip in and out as fast as humanly possible. One of my happiest days was when my fashion-conscious friend got ride of a bunch of her cast-offs in my direction. I looked faaaabulous and didn’t need to enter a *horrified hushed whisper* clothes store.
I am positively agog to read the tips for wives. That’s coming soon, right? =)
Agog? Fantastic.
LOL- sooo funny every single one. thanks for the laugh today and love your blog!!!
#11 is significant. I appreciate the fact the Joel does not dogg on the girls he dated before me. He respects them. That tells me he respects womanhood. I understand the post was meant to be funny- and it is. Great post.
I just have to say that when I read the title to this post I thought it meant “Twelve Tips: for husbands that didn’t make the cut”. Haha!
Guess it kinda works either way.
I thought #11 was pretty good, especially because it is true.
Now that is the list my husband follows! (not jk) I think I am going to have to stop reading here…..I get upset because I see what is lacking in my life.
I agree. I was agitated on the last few posts because I instigate scriptures, prayer and FHE every day. When I don’t we don’t have it. But I don’t want to feel agitated toward my man so should I stop reading?
No. But have you had this same conversation with him? If so, then keep moving forward by doing what you are doing!