Every family has their own holiday traditions. Eventually, the kids are gonna grow up, most will marry, and suddenly you have two family’s worth of traditions to absorb. Inevitably, some traditions will be left behind, and others will be kept. The process of adding and subtracting family holiday traditions is an ongoing process, and will be continued as the kids leave the nest and begin the process themselves.
Here are a few of the family traditions that have maintained their presence over the years, and some that did not survive the cut.
Old: Live Christmas trees. Every year we would venture out into the cold and head to the Christmas tree lot. Dad would choose the tree, and we would tie it to the top of the car and take it home. Yes, just like in the movies. It would smell great! Depending on the year, it would stay alive for a few days, and then immediately begin dropping needles. We never did venture out into the woods and find a tree and chop it down. It seemed like a fun idea…
New: Artificial, pre-lit tree. Before you get all judgy on me, let me add one word: Asthma. It became readily apparent that a real tree caused all sorts of health issues in our home. It has been a reluctant change, but necessary, and much easier on the vacuum.
Old: Standing on the front porch to welcome the new year by banging pots and pans and generally making a ruckus for the neighbors to hear.
New: Standing on the front porch to welcome the new year by banging pots and pans and generally making a ruckus for the neighbors to hear.
Old: Mom would make “Three Bean Salad” to accompany Christmas dinner.
New: “What is Three-Bean Salad?”
Old: Going to my aunt’s house on New Years Day and eating salisbury steak. (Where in the world that came from, I have no idea.)
New: Taking the family out for Chinese food on New Year’s Eve day. (Not sure, but I think it evolved from the Christmas Story movie – fa-ra-ra-ra-ra.)
Old: Elf on the shelf creates mischief in the home and watches over the kids. (Not really – never done the elf thing, never will.)
New: Gassy Bear on the Shelf watches over the kids, creates mischief and blames it on the dog. (OK, I made this one up, but wanted to work Gassy bear into the post.)
Old: The kids always got new pajamas on Christmas Eve.
New: The kids still get new pajamas on Christmas Eve.
Old: Getting up at 5:00am to open presents.
New: 5:30am. (Yes, I’m a grinch.)
New: Participating in a Messiah sing-along.
Old & New: Big buffet dinner on Christmas Eve with extended family.
Old & New: Talents shared at the Christmas Eve party, and Dad gets to read the story of the nativity from Luke 2. (Is this the place to mention that Luke needed to put in a more obvious break after the description of the nativity? Because nobody (me) ever knows just where to stop reading.)
Old: Waiting anxiously for the broadcast of “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” and watching it together.
New: Watching Charlie Brown – if someone remembers, and can find the DVD.
Old: Making divinity with Mom & Dad.
New: Making caramel corn with chocolate drizzle.
Old: My dad reading “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas,” and watching the cartoon.
New: Trying to avoid watching the movie “The Grinch.”
Old: House decorated with old-school colored lights.
New: House decorated with old-school colored lights.
New: Hot chocolate and cinnamon streusel coffee cake fro Christmas breakfast.
So many things have stayed the same, and I find comfort and security in maintaining those traditions. Some had to be scuttled, but others have taken their place. It will be curious over the years to watch how my children choose which traditions to maintain, which they discard, and what new ones they adopt. (When that time comes, remind me not to be hurt or judgy.)
There really is no right or wrong in this process, and the uniqueness of our traditions serve as a sort of “fingerprint” for our families – no two are exactly the same.
Do you have any traditions that you remember fondly that have not made the cut? What new holiday traditions have you adopted?
Please share. And no, I do not have enough Gassy Bears to share.
Discover more from Thus We See...
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
many years ago we got particularly close to “our” missionaries. We wanted to do something for them and tried to think, what is the one thing a kid from Utah would want for Christmas in Tennessee. Something from home of course. With a little creativity, we were able to find out traditions from their homes. We then re-enacted them in our home when the missionaries showed up for breakfast. At first the comments were…wow, we do that in our home…and….I didn’t think anyone else did that. The give away was when an elder emptied his stocking and sat there and stared at one “odd” gift. then he looked at my wife and said “I know I never told you that”.
Our kids loved it and so did the missionaries. When my wife was YW president in upstate New York, we did it with the youth and presented a fireside for the missionaries (all 12 of them) including a video for a sister who’s family traditionally walks Temple Square on Christmas Eve. In turn we sent a video of the evening to each family. Another of the 12 best was when we lived overseas and actually had time to mail order some of the things we would need to duplicate things in the states. Missionaries always love Doritos & Oreos.
Sadly, this Christmas was the last one for getting the traditional PJs and Christmas pillow cases from Granny. But special thanks to my sister in law who found so many of them cut out in the sewing room, and took them home to finish for 7 sons & 6 daughter’s in law, 22 grandkids and 2 great grandkids….just in time for Christmas.
Old: My mom would make “Famous Foster Fudge” for our friends, neighbors, teachers, etc.
New: I don’t know if you can give teachers homemade goodies anymore, but now I make fudge for our friends and neighbors. I also try to take some to the single sisters in our ward so they are remembered too.
When we were growing up, my older brother would anchor a loud speaker on our roof and play Christmas music. The music hung in the air and drifted though the neighborhood- it was awesome! Now we have the beautiful music of the freeway. Not so awesome.
To RH Miller – loved your post. To MMM – ALWAYS love your posts
Many old and new traditions in our family. My family loved Christmas and I married into a family who also loves Christmas, so we have meshed the two “traditions” together and have 43 years of wonderful Christmas memories.
Now the Grandma and Grandpa and our 4 kids and families all over the nation – no one lives close by – we do a “5 Days of Christmas” for the 11 Grandkids and hopefully they will remember who we are so FAR AWAY.
We empty nesters still decorate our house, have a beautiful Christmas Eve homemade dinner on beautiful dishes and enjoy as many of the traditions as we can without the 4 kids around. Merry Christmas!
Rebecca,
I’m sure the Grandkids DO and WILL remember who you are. I’m such a local yokel that I just didn’t consider that some kids would be in other places on Christmas. Thank goodness for technology and travel. I’m glad you are carrying on the traditions still eating on getting out the “china” 🙂
We used to do pizza for Christmas Eve dinner. As we got older it evolved to steak and shrimp for the adults and pizza for the kids
That is one of our traditions too! We love our Christmas pizza. 🙂
We inherited dear MIL’s old colorful christmas lights and I love them. I briefly wanted the white icicle lights when they were the new thing, but am glad I never got them. A non intentional New tradition is thoroughly cleaning the house on Christmas Eve Day . . . now the adult kids at home won’t let me get away without doing it even though I would like to. 🙂 When we finally decide that is enought, we usually have a fairly simple dinner followed by acting out and reading the Christmas story from Luke and singing lots of Christmas songs. Each family member gets to choose at least one of their favorites. . And of course leaving treats for Santa (sugar cookies, fudge, seven layer bars and milk) and carrots for the reindeer. The kids can get up as early as they want to see what Santa has brought (he doesn’t wrap his gifts). After a hearty breakfast we exchange family gifts, taking turns and opening one gift at a time. This usually goes until well past noon.
Years ago, we started drawing names (just us and our kids) two weeks before Christmas. We do secret acts of service for this person throughout Christmas, and buy him/her a gift for Christmas morning. On Christmas morning my kids always want to start by giving these gifts first and telling each other whose name they had. This really helps bring the spirit of Christmas into our home as we think about serving each other. I thought the kids would have out grown this by now, but they still look forward to it every year.
The Christmas eve pajamas tradition has passed from both my family and my husband’s to our kids. My dad’s family had oyster soup on Christmas Eve and while he still does the rest of us never developed a taste for it so mom would make various types of soups. I continue this with my family. Growing up we had an elf on a shelf but my mom just put it on the tree each year. I had just thought it was an ornament left over from her childhood it wasn’t until my younger friends started posting what their elf’s were doing on FB that I recognized what the ornament was. Growing up we always had turkey for thanksgiving and Christmas. I roast a turkey for thanksgiving but we change it up for Christmas and have had prime rib, ham, filet mignon, and t-bones to list a few. All home cooked and better than a restaurant. New year’s eve we play board games and card games until we laugh ourselves silly
Dear Grinch – We get up at 12am Christmas Eve to open all of our gifts. Always have. Always will.
We also symbolically let the Christ child enter into our home for just that moment…and the spirit lingers.
The fact that you “get up” at midnight, implies that you already went to bed before that. You win for most boring Christmas Eve ever. THAT is Grinchy.
a little Old – We have fruit, cheese, and homemade bread on Christmas Eve – vaguely reminiscent of Joseph and Mary on their journey. We turn the lights down low. I want the evening to be quiet testimony bearing and Christmas hymns, but my (adult) children tend to rowdy it up a little.
New- With my son on his mission in South Korea, Christmas Eve is phone call night. So last year and probably this, I have my “Christmas Eve” dinner the day before and a “Tell Me the Stories of Jesus” night while waiting for the call. a little looser (no not loser).
New – various households have their own Christmas morning as they see fit and we gather Christmas afternoon for mixed exchange and dinner – sometimes more formal and sometimes all day munch-a-thon as determined by the hostess of the year
We do new jammies for the kids on christmas eve and they also get to unwrap a new movie, which we then watch before bed in Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve is when we have our big dinner. We always have sparkling cider and use fancy dishes and goblets. On Christmas Day we always have a frozen lasagna for dinner, so everyone can relax and basically do nothing all day. Our tree gets put up on thanksgiving day after dinner and always comes down on December 26th. We keep our outside Christmas lights going till New Year’s Day and then they’re gone.
Oh! And one of my favorite traditions is Santa brings our children books. They get to ask for what kind of book they want, and so Santa will bring them a special book and then done additional smaller books that he thought they might like. He also fills our stockings. Mommy and Daddy want all the glory when it comes to Christmas gifts. This tradition allows Santa to still come to our home but not get any credit got the awesome looks of surprise the kids get on Christmas morning.
We also do a book advent. I wrap all of our Christmas and winter related story books. Every night the kids unwrap a book and we read it before bedtime.
We do the Santa only fills the stockings thing also
I second the old-school Christmas lights. The new LED ones don’t put out enough heat to melt the snow on them. Oh, and my in-laws with many children always anchored their Christmas tree to the ceiling – sometimes it didn’t touch the ground and you could spin it. We do the Elf on the Shelf, but I think people make this harder than it needs to be. We don’t do cute little notes or practical jokes, we just put it somewhere new (up high to avoid toddlers) every night. I set an alarm in my phone to remind me, and it’s not much trouble. The kids love it.
Growing up my parents always bought Chinese takeout from a nice restaurant and brought it home to eat on Christmas Eve. We LOVED it! No smiling duck, though;)
Old and New:
12 Days of Christmas to a family who needs some cheer and kindness. Christmas baking days with friends to deliver treats anonymously all around the ward.
Old and Continuing:
Christmas Eve gourmet food night (make things we’d never normally splurge on) and a movie marathon spread out during the holidays. Movies usually include Miracle on 34th Street, White Christmas, A Christmas Story, The Nativity Story (absolutely wonderful), One Magic Christmas, Muppet Christmas Carol, M on 34 st, Holiday Inn and the old classic cartoons.
New (since moving overseas):
Doing a Google Hangout with family around the world on Christmas Day. They us/laptop in the living room and we just hang out watching the festivities and the kids can run and show us their presents, chat on and off with everyone). You sort of feel like you’re there as much as possible (sniff).
Last year I started a new tradition that I hope sticks! I sent every family a package that said, “Open me on christmas Eve!” In the box is a Christmas movie, a Christmas book, mugs for everybody and hot chocolate mix. I asked our kids to read the book, make the hot chocolate and watch the movie together. We all do this at the same time(or as close to the same time as possible) so we can say we are doing it together. This year is the original “How the Grinch stole christmas” movie and book. can’t wait!!
Years ago, with my parents on a mission, and in need of a tradition to fill the void left behind, I didn’t decorate the tree like I normally did right after Thanksgiving. That year I put up the tree, added some fruit ornaments, and topped it with a soft lamb toy from my infancy. I called it our “Fruits of the Spirit” tree, and every night in December one child would choose a wrapped ornament, with a scripture attached to it, to hang on the tree. The scriptures were about the Savior and the gifts of the gospel, and the ornaments corresponded (Scriptures from Luke 2 with ornaments like a star, an angel, and shepherds; D&C 110 with a temple ornament, etc.). On Christmas Eve–after the last ornament was placed, the Christmas story was read from the scriptures, and children were asleep in their new pj’s–“Santa” brought another tree and decorated it with all the ornaments we had collected over the years. Magic!
These days we still follow that tradition, but Santa is joined by a couple of elves to do the job. It makes for a long night, but who sleeps on Christmas Eve, anyway?
Old: Traditional Turkey dinner on Christmas Eve
New: Flank steak and roasted potatoes. MUCH better!
Old: Dad always on call on Christmas Eve and/or Christmas Day so the kids had to wait around for him to come home from the hospital before we could do presents.
New: Dad is retired, but one of his sons is carrying it on by being on call Christmas Eve
Old: Christmas Eve jammies
New: Christmas Eve jammies
We have played broomball with a few other families every Christmas Eve in the cultural hall. The numbers keep changing as kids come and go. . . due to missions, moving away, grandkids that need watching. For the first year since the tradition began, there is no one to play with. It is a sad day. The other families will be out of town, visiting children (who are we kidding, they are visiting their grandchildren) and our kids are either too far away, on a misison or (in one case) apathetic.
We also watch A Muppet Christmas Carol on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day (if we remember).
We usually go see a new movie on Christmas Day. . . unless it’s a Sunday.
We started a new tradition a few years ago, now that our children are teens and older. Every second year, we go totally minimalist. We don’t wrap the gifts unless they came wrapped, we don’t put up the Christmas tree, we don’t make Christmas candy, except that which can be eaten the same day, we put a small Christmas tree on the dining room table and hang the stockings — that is the full extent of the decorations.
We exchange gifts (unwrapped) on Christmas Eve and sleep in on Christmas morning.
Without the frustration accompanying all the decorations, preparations, and general hoopla, we are much more free to focus on the Savior and the reason for the season. And generally, we are all happier, in better moods, and more excited about what we gave than what we received.
It works for us, I’m not advocating… And it has been challenging trying to explain to fellow members why we haven’t decorated or handed out our goodies like in years past.
The off years we do it up big with the whole shebang, Mom and Dad get grumpy, the teens are disappointed with their gifts, we all act like petulant children, you know, the usual.
🙂
Many years ago, I started feeling like I was kind of a non participant in Christmas… you know the kids saying thanks for the gift Dad, and me saying sure, what did you get? So I started writing the kids and my beautiful wife a Christmas Letter on Christmas Eve and placing it in the tree. At the bottom of the letter is a hint where “something extra” is hidden. Of course everyone thought that the mini scavenger hunt was great fun, but for me it was an easy way to leave a gift in the car trunk or under the bed and not have to wrap them.
This tradition has now happened for many many years. It is the last thing that we do after all the other presents are opened. Everyone has to read their letters aloud and it takes us to a more personal, spiritual, and grateful place. As our family gets older, if someone can’t make it home for Christmas (missions, med. school, forced to spend Christmas with the “not as fun” in-laws), they still receive their letter and we receive a letter from anyone who is absent and place it in the tree to be read aloud and usually with the absent party on the phone or on skype.
Maybe it just works for us, but it works well. It is everyone’s favorite part of Christmas… especially this Father.
I LOVE this tradition… I wonder if I could convince my husband to start it. (I guess it could be a letter from mom…)
I didn’t mean to post this Anonymously and don’t know how to change it… so I’ll just say, it was me 🙂
After we moved away from family, my parents started taking us to a Christmas movie every Christmas Eve. The theaters were always empty, and it was a great way to pass time quickly so that Christmas could get here faster. People have caught on to this now and the theaters aren’t quite as empty anymore. I still do this with my family whenever we get to spend the holidays together but will miss it this year – no way I am taking three babies to a theater! Maybe we will rent one instead.
Why would anyone avoid watching The Grinch. (Old school cartoon version). Avoiding the Jim Carey version of the Grinch is perfectly okay and encouraged. Shaking my head.
I agree. (That’s why I was specific in differentiating between ‘The Grinch Who Stole Christmas” – the cartoon, and the movie, “The Grinch.”
I love it! Our Christmas tree is currently in a bowl in the bathtub, because three boys four and under had tipped it over enough that the entire living room was starting to smell of mold. We moved it to dry out the carpet (I also hear you on the needles!), and it has stayed in the tub, ever since. I feel a little bad– it looks so sad and lonely, but I feel it was better than the alternative; burning it to the ground or throwing it out in the snow and buying a plastic one (I’ve threatened my husband with both of those, recently).
Maybe I should start a tradition of watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas. 🙂 I’m turning into one, that is for sure!
I’ve heard of people attaching their tree to the ceiling or wall so that little ones can’t tip it over! One day you’ll look back and laugh at the tree in the tub!
There were a couple of years we put the tree in the playpen, as opposed to keeping the toddler in it for a month. My adult girls still remember that – one of those “only in our family” memories. No one has playpens anymore, but a portacrib might work.
We’ve put a baby gate around our tree in the past. It works wonders for saving the ornaments.
My mom did that, and we did too, when we had a toddler. Playpens have changed, but they still work!
My parents always had to tie ours to the ceiling to keep it up right. We have cathedral ceilings and can’t so we “fenced” it behind our pet panels that snap together for impromptu animal enclosures. Worked well. 😉 I also have a friend that always throws a full bag old the shiny stick on bows under her tree and the kids play with those instead of the tree. Get good pictures of it in the tub.
I totally have pictures of it in the tub! My husband got back froma trip last night so hopefully it will return to its rightful place today. 🙂 And we are tying it with fishline to the wall. 🙂 I have wanted to get one of those hexagonal baby gates for so long! Maybe next year, along with a bigger base. 🙂
This will be our 11th year and the grown-up kids all still love to come home to do it…on Christmas Eve we take a dinner to prepare at the Ronald McDonald house and leave for the residents to eat through the evening. Sometimes we get to meet some of them and hear their stories. We come home and have a “Bethlehem” supper by candlelight (foods–loosly– from the Mid East) and take turns reading a paragraph of “The Living Christ” document from the Apostles as we pass it around the table. Brings tears to my eyes and a swollen heart every year!
1. I will exchange a Santa with the baby Jesus for the Gassy Bear
2. Green Eggs and ham for Christmas breakfast.