I grew up in a family that was strong, very bonded and with ver strong traditions. We were Presbyterian and went on a semi regular basis, about twice a month. I remember as I became a teenager and asking questions my father gave me my first Bible, an American Standardize edition and I have it til this day.
By the time I was a junior in high school, life had drastically change. My mother was a full blown alcoholic related to the fact she had had to pull the life support on her father (my grandfather) who was dying from cancer. His death was a difficult one as life support was cut off. The result was she was pushed over the edge and her untreated schizophrenia erupted into a full break and she used alcohol to try and self medicate.
This continued until my older sister and I had had enough and with my father, it was agreed he would drive her back to Minnesota and there she would receive support and help for both problems. My dad got back and I remember that night and morning so clearly as the next morning, being 17 and alone in the house I found him dead on the floor of the master bedroom.
After this my mother returned after I had made the arrangements for his burial and lets just say life remained very hard. I don’t think anyone who doesn’t have the Gospel in their life can imagine the despair and questions that arise from the death of one so close. I was lost, empty and unsure of my direction or of my purpose in life. I had been an excellent student and luckily that stayed going. The other blessing I had was that most of my friends were LDS who I hung out with and one of them had notion to invite me to the now closed Oakland Temple Pageant. I attended three times and began to have questions answered that I had always felt true; like the nature of the Godhead. I had never accepted the doctrine of the Trinity, always feeling that each member was distinct and unique, one in purpose. The pageant confirmed that to me. I agreed to sign up to receive a copy o the Book of Mormon. I had flipped through it several times while riding in the back of a fan or station wagon but I wanted to read it.
So I soon began the missionary lessons at my best friend’s house who lived two houses away and I began to read, and to pray. I did not get my answer on the first, the second, the third of even the fourth time. However, I do remember going to a public park that was not so public, people just stayed away from it but is was beautiful, kneeling and asking if the Book of Mormon was true. When that answer came it not only enlightened my soul but I felt lighter and my mind cleared and all I knew was that feeling.
I had to wait 6 months to be baptized though as my mother held off her permission and wanted me to be 18. So on a early May day in 1983, in the afternoon in chapel in the East Bay of the SF region of California, I entered into the waters of baptism. I have to admit, I felt nothing after my baptism and was rather let down. However, when the hands of the Melchizedek Priesthood laid on my head and the words said “Receive thee the Holy Ghost” BAM! The Spirit poured into my soul and I felt like Lamoni as I felt my sins being lifted from me and a new person replacing it.
It amazed me though because almost as soon as my baptism was over people wanted me to give up what I had just gain. I felt what I describe as a pure love, a love towards others and a desire to do no wrong. I changed my music, and yet people wanted me to return to that old person. Very similar to later, when returning from my mission people want to change me back to a worldly person and have me lose the nature of serving and loving others that is the heart of conversion.
Well, I have now been a member for 30 years as of May 3rd, 2013. I served an honorable mission a long time ago for two years, have been married or 25 years (married in the Logan Temple) come June and have two adult children who are miracles from the Lord. My conversion is upward, though there have been moments, when I haven’t broken the commandments, but I allowed myself to be lax and committed more sins of omission out of being idle. Luckily the Savior and our Father have a way of providing a spiritual kick in the rear when that happens. My son who is 19 is currently serving in the Rome, Italy mission and what a blessing it is to have him serving our Father and our Savior. He has inspired me to reach for new heights. I have always had a testimony of the Gospel, of my Father and Savior and I can say, that my conversion journey continues as I strive to put off the natural man, and to develop and obtain the gift of charity so that I may become as He is (3Nephi 27:27). The Gospel transformed my life, and continues to transform it and much of that is done as I look for ways to serve others out of love for them.
Last my conversion lasted because I had members so involved with me for the first year. Making sure i was at my meetings. Inviting me over to be part of their family home evenings and putting an arm around me and teaching me what it means to serve. My conversion continues because I love my Father, I love my Savior with all my heart and I love my family. Equally, I love people and desire to see the Gospel transform and continue to transform their lives for both member or non-member. What a precious gift we have in the Gospel, in all of it and I bow in gratitude each night for the marvelous blessings we have. In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
~ Jay Eads ~
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Thank you for sharing your story. It really touched me as you stated that your conversion continues because of your love for Heavenly Father, your Savior and family. That is the very foundation of the testimony that keeps us strong because nothing else really matters. You put that across really well. Thanks again!
Thank you for sharing your story. My brother-in-law forwarded me the link because of your last name. I am an Eads and grew up in Utah in a large family. My mother suffered from mental illness and just recently passed away and I am so grateful for the knowledge of the gospel that gives meaning to all things and purpose to life. Perhaps we are related. It would be fun to find out how. My father (now deceased) is William Adrian Eads, he grew up in Laramie, Wyo. He joined the church with his mother and some of his siblings in the early 1940’s. I am so grateful for his conversion and the blessings that are mine because of temple covenants. Your posterity will bless your name forever.
Thanks for sharing. We all need to remember that our testimony needs constant nourishment. Stay strong!
Thank you so much for sharing your story, Jay. It makes me to happy to read that you have left a legacy of faith for your children to follow. You’re a pioneer in your family, and for all that you’ve sacrificed to come unto Christ, you’ll be greatly blessed. *hugs*
Thank you, Jay.
Hugs for Jay! Thank you for your powerful testimony and the reminder that conversion is a life-long journey.