A Quick Look Back, Then Full Speed Ahead

A new year is looming. It is that time when some people make new resolutions, and time when others resolve not to make new resolutions. I used to be in the itemized resolution camp, but it rarely went well. I am now more of a “It doesn’t matter what day it is because everyday is the perfect day to try and do/be better.” My resolutions still rarely go well – such is the nature of change. Even so, it is worth it because every once-in-a-while, an effort to improve will actually stick. (I have found General Conference to be a better time for me to make resolutions than New Years.)

Every year deserves a look-back. Not just for the happy memories, but to see any patterns or problems that are visible that might be worth addressing. It can be fun and painful, but for me, it is necessary to do this sort of self-eval to help me plot out where I’m heading. It seems that we are in an era where self-awareness is dying a painful death, and I want to push back againt that trend in my own life.

I am anti-regret. I believe that regret has a small window of use if and only if it spurs us towards repentance. Beyond that, it is a waste of time, thought and emotional bandwidth. (If you want to read more about regret, here and here are articles I’ve written that drill deeper on the topic.)

My brain halds onto a huge archive of lyrics, and the one playing in my brain right now is from When I was Young, by Bob Geldof:

Cos there ain't no rear view mirror in my car
I'm not looking back
Not very far.

I’m going to take a quick look back at ’24, some good, some bad, then it is onward, into the void that is ’25. (While this is more for me than for you faithful readers, I figured I’d share it.)

I limped into 2024. My legs were having a terrible reaction to a medication that dimished my ability to walk and contributed to a severe knee injury that left me in a wheelchair. (More here and here.) It was painful, difficult and eye-opening. That experience taught me a lot and resulted in some positive things.

1) I worked my butt off to recover. Literally. I dropped 50lbs and am now in the best shape I have been in for decades. Being physically limited, even temporarily, was eye-opening and provided the catalyst for me to improve my physical life as I get older. (My doctor siad, “better late than never.” Sad, but true.”

2) Being laid up gave me the opportunity to choose what to do with the sudden gift of free time. I chose to use it to do something I’ve always dreamed of doing: Write a novel. (More on that process here.) The result was Papa Range. It has been well received, wonderfully reviewed, and of course, I made millions of dollars in royalties. The best part, for me, is that I used my time to create something, rather than waste it.

A Focus on Family. We celebrated what would have been my dad’s 100th birthday by having a wonderful family reunion. As we prepared, I assisted my daughter in writing his life story. It was a wonderful experience that turned my heart towards my father, and towards my daughter. I wrote about it here.

We also just finished a week-long Christmas celebration with all of our family in town. The last of the out-of-towners left this morning, and it is very quiet around here. I feel like our family is in a good place right now. Lots of love, little drama and a whole menagerie of adorable grandchildren. It amazes me how our hearts have an unlimited capacity to expand.

The Most Important Thing I’ve Written. When I received a call back in April to speak in Stake Conference, I instantly knew that I needed to talk about my relationship with my son, who came out as gay a few years back. It turned out to be an inspiring, healing and miraculous journey that blessed my life, as well as my son’s. (Here is a link to the talk, Finding the Fine Line Between Law and Love.)

As I look back at that experience and the resultant talk, I can say that I feel it was the most important talk I’ve ever given, and the most important thing I’ve ever written. (And I’ve written a LOT of stuff.)

It is a Big, Beautiful, Messed Up World. Sandwiched between all the stuff going on in our lives, Chrissie and I managed to get in a lot of travel this past year. (Three countries, seven states.) While my limited mobility made it more challenging early on, we got to see several new places and visit family in Boston and Monticello. I love seeing the beauty in the world. I love history. Mostly I love having my wife to myself for extended periods of time. (And avoiding work.)

As I reflect on ’24, I am well-aware of my shortcomings, things I wish I had said or done differently, opportunities missed, time wasted, etc. But, that is in the past. The future is full of opportunity to right any wrongs, tackle the unfinished, and take on new tasks and growth. A quick look back can help set the pace and direction. Consulting with the Lord on this process and seeking direction from the Spirit can definitly help set the pace and direction. I have learned that looking over my shoulder and fixating on what could’ve/should’ve happened in ’24 will merely slow me down heading into ’25.

When ’24 started, it felt like it was going to be a grim year. Instead, it turned out to be a pretty great year. It was full of opportunities to grow, to love, to serve and to improve.

As is every year.

My best to you in ’25.