When the Cat’s Away…

My lovely Eternal Companion is in Utah this week, working with my favorite daughter on her wedding plans. I came home to work. (You get the connection.)

Life around here without Mom is a little bit different than normal. It is just me and the high-schooler. When the cat’s away… the mice get downright boring.

Things I don’t do when my EC is away:

• Make the bed.
• Push the buttons down on my soda cup lid to identify which drink is mine.
• Eat balanced meals.
• Turn on all the lights “so it looks like someone lives here.”
• Open blinds “so it looks like someone lives here.”
• Shave.
• Ask her to repeat herself because I wasn’t paying attention.
• Tryout new hairstyles.
• Remember to remind Ryan to check the dog’s water.
• Go to QT. (Circle K is cheaper.)

Things I DO when she’s away:

• Wander around the house at night because I can’t sleep.
• Squeegee the shower. (She has me trained pretty well.)
• Unplug the landline phone.
• Watch recorded TV shows, then pretend I waited for her.
• Text her repeatedly asking her “What are you doing now?”
• Park on her side of the garage.
• Dig out the old superhero outfit and run around at night protecting the community.
• Use paper plates and cups when not eating out of a wrapper.
• Listen to loud music when I’m showering and getting ready.
• Work more hours.
• Go to food places she doesn’t like. (Today, Wendy’s, but I am now boycotting them because the did away with the spicy chicken nuggets.)
• Accidentally broadcast myself on Facebook Live.
• Pout.

I prefer normal.