Things that Remind Me That I’m Getting Older

Yeah, I’m on one of those kicks when things are making me feel old. Maybe it was from going to Disneyland last week and melting my Fit-bit.

Here are a few things that I’ve noticed lately that make me feel older:

• Guys wearing hats or baseball caps inside restaurants.

• Searching through more than 400 channels to realize that nothing is on, instead of 4.

• Clipping toenails. I should have taken up yoga as a younger man.

• Trying to remember the last time I saw a paper with something written in cursive.

• The media once tried to conceal their bias.

• Jack Bauer first saved the country 15 years ago.

• Waking up with bloodshot eyes – just from sleeping.

• Sting is coming out with a new album, and he’s 65.

• The Arizona Diamondbacks won the Word Series 15 years ago.

• Explaining to my adult children how the A-E ticketing system used to work at Disneyland.

• (More Disneyland)  Remembering that it used to be okay for pirates to chase wenches.

• Seeing that Legos now require following a slavish directions to reach a pre-determined result, rather than letting kids learn to be creative.

• My youngest child bumping me off the keyboard to do something faster than I could do it.

• There were once nine planets, and astronauts walked on the moon. (Last moonwalk, 1972)

• Michael Jackson’s first moonwalk was 33 years ago. (link)

• Once everyone smoked cigarettes, but marijuana was frowned upon. Now marijuana is being legalized, and smokers are the devil.

• All-you-can-eat buffets have lost their attraction. Quality is replacing quantity.

• Trying to recall the last time I received a handwritten letter in the mail, or the last time I wrote one.

• I used to know the location of every LDS temple. All 13 of them.

• Hearing girls drop F-bombs in casual conversation.

• The physics of snow skiing used to thrill me. Now they frighten me. (K.E=1/2mv².  It’s the “m” that is the kicker.)

• My full-time mission ended 34 years ago.

• BYU won its only national football championship 32 years ago. And we still cling to it.

• I remember that when my dad was 55 he seemed really old.

• Lawrence Welk was part of my childhood.

• I now pay attention to life insurance commercials.

• I have been an orphan for 14 years.

• Witnessing, through the power of social media, just how many really dumb people are out there.

• Driving back home from work because I forgot my reading classes.

• I have had grown-ups, with children, refer to me as a “father-figure.”

• I remember when eating eggs was bad for you.

• Abraham Lincoln, Beethoven, Steve Jobs, Iam Fleming and Adolf Hitler all died at 56. I’m 55.

Now you might look at this list and think, “My, that sounds kind of whiny and negative.”

Yes. Yes it does.