The Ugly Truth About “Fun-Size” Candy Bars

You know it is almost October when our thoughts turn to General Conference and Halloween candy. Not only do they go together great (when watching at home) but they both make us happy inside.

Now, I am fine with all aspects of General Conference, but I do have one small issue with the candy industry. It is a simple thing that deals more with misrepresentation than it does the actual candy. I understand that sometimes in marketing the truth gets stretched, but in this case, it is stretched to the realm of science fiction. My problem can be summed up with a simple hyphenated word:

“Fun-Size.”

Right. There is nothing “Fun” about “Fun-Size” candy bars. Go on, try and tell me that tearing open a fun-size pack and finding six Skittles is “Fun.” Whoo-hoo! Or finding a Snickers bar that has shrunk to the size of a Kraft caramel. Yippee!

Fun-size is merely a taunt, a tease, in the candy bar world. Some sad people would claim that it is great for “portion control,” as it can keep them from over-indulging. I have never claimed to be strong in math, but according to my experience, it takes about 11 fun-size Milky Ways to equal a normal size candy bar. 20 for a king-size. You know you have got the math right when you are worried that someone will see the stack of wrappers you have sitting next to you.

To make it even worse, in recent years the candy industry has come up with candy sizes that are even smaller. They call them “bites.” They are so small that it takes like seven of them to equal one fun-size bar. If you were to give one bite-sized candy bar to every trick-or-treater that comes to your home this year, you would firmly establish that you are a terrible person and that you hate children.

(One bright spot about bite-sized candy bars is that it takes as many calories to open the wrapper as are in the candy, so bite-sized candy bars are calorically neutral.  Good to know!)

Fun-size candies don’t get the job done.

So, here it is Sunday and I am rambling on about fun-size candy bars. I’m sure many of you are thinking that I don’t have a point. But I do.  Here it is:

The Gospel of Jesus Christ is not a “fun-size” religion. It is the real deal.

It is King-size.

It is not the kind of thing where you can enjoy a bite, here and there, and go on your way. It is meant to be wholly consumed. and internalized. A fun-size nibble will not suffice, nor get us where God wants us to go.

To push the Halloween candy metaphor further, all you have to do is think back to the candy you used to sort into neat piles on the floor.  Did you like all of it? Of course not. Did some of it get traded away, or thrown away? Probably.

When you have a lot of candy, you can be picky and consume only what you like best. The Gospel is not like that. We must learn to indulge in all of it. We can’t say, “Sure, I know the gospel is true, but I sure have a problem with that whole tithing thing.”

Elder Russell M. Nelson once spoke of those who do not enjoy the entire gospel buffet. He said that we “will encounter people who pick which commandments they will keep and ignore others that they choose to break. I call this the cafeteria approach to obedience. This practice of picking and choosing will not work. It will lead to misery. To prepare to meet God, one keeps all of His commandments. It takes faith to obey them, and keeping His commandments will strengthen that faith.” (link)

Ah, Cafeteria Saints. While we are all guilty of this is some degree through our chronic imperfection, some have taken it to new levels where they frankly don’t accept “part” of the gospel, or the church, and decide to select just a few fun-size portions and let the rest go. Often they are vocal about this approach. There are even those who openly disavow the gospel, but choose to remain in the church because they like the social aspects. (Kind of like skipping all of the veggies at the buffet and heading straight for the dessert table.)

It’s like the person who claims to enjoy being a “very religious person” but does not attend church and participate in the ordinance of the sacrament – the very thing that makes us a “very religious and WORTHY person.” The fun-size version is not enough to get the job done.

We can always ignore the candy that we don’t like, but we don’t have that luxury when it comes to the church or the gospel. In fact, those parts of the gospel that we want to avoid are precisely those parts that we need to focus on – to learn and embrace so that we can enjoy the entire feast.

In fact, Joseph Smith shot down the fun-size approach when he said that “a religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things never has power sufficient to produce the faith necessary unto life and salvation.”(link)

“All things.” This is not a fun-size mentality. It is acceptance and embrace of the gospel and the church in its totality. More of a king-size endeavor.

Yes, I know that sometimes the actually members of the church can bug the Twizzlers out of you, but that is no excuse to limit our intake because all we see at any particular moment is a bag of Dum-Dums. That happens to all of us because we are a bunch of flawed humans.

We can’t be content with just a taste. It is not enough to get our batteries recharged on Sunday and let it carry us through the week. We can’t pretend that we can find the king-size, eternally significant gospel by spending Sunday in nature, or reading uplifting things while we ignore what God wants us to be doing. Those are fun-sized attempts. Without church attendance and participating in the ordinances of salvation, we are leaving the king-size experience in the bottom of the bag.

This is a king-size gospel, with the hopeful promise of receiving “a fulness of God’s glory after the resurrection become priests and kings in the celestial world.” (link)

Enjoy the feast next Sunday at General Conference. Enjoy everything in large quantities – not just one or two sessions, or our few favorite speakers, but let’s find a place in our hearts to embrace and enjoy all of it. A bite is not enough. Let’s make it a king-size experience.

President Henry B. Eyring: “As the challenges around us increase, we must commit to do more to qualify for the companionship of the Holy Ghost.
Casual prayer won’t be enough. Reading a few verses of the scripture won’t be enough. Doing the minimum of what the Lord asks of us won’t be enough. Hoping that we will have the Atonement work in our lives and that we will perhaps sometimes feel the influence of the Holy Ghost won’t be enough. And one great burst of effort won’t be enough.
Only a steady, ever-increasing effort will allow the Lord to take us to higher ground.”  (link) (Thanks, Amy!)

PS: Check in next week after each session of Conference as I share my immediate- though not always religious – thoughts.