25 Years: Where’s My Gold Watch?

Note:  This is one of those “Legacy” posts that is probably of more particular interest to the family, but you are all welcome to read – of course.

This past Thursday was an anniversary for me and my EC. Twenty-five years ago, on August 20, 1990, I walked into the HR department at the company where I worked and tendered my resignation. It was one of those crossroads that can have a dramatic impact on your life, and it did on mine.

I can look back and see that it did not make a lot of sense to most people. I was just a few years out of college, I had shot up the ladder where I was working, my wife was 8.5 months pregnant with our second child, we were poor, and we had a new home and accompanying mortgage. Was I really going to turn my back on Corporate America and try going it alone?

But…it was time to take the leap and start my own business. Self-employed – an entrepreneur. I knew it was the right thing to do, much to the chagrin of my in-laws who were worried about their daughter, and grandchildren, starving. Yet I felt like I was ready, and knew what I was doing, and felt it was the right thing to do.

There was only one thing holding me back: My wife’s approval. That was the key that I absolutely had to have if I was going to take the leap. If I had felt even a hint of hesitancy or unwillingness on her part…it never would have happened. It would have been over. End of story. Dead.

But her reply was the same as it has been for twenty-five years: “I trust you.” And to me, those words carry far more weight than any mission statement ever could.

From that point on, I have owned and operated my own business – a small ad agency – with a handful of employees. Those years have been a veritable roller coaster of ups and downs, times of feast and times of famine- like dipping into the food storage famine. But as I get older, the more I look back and see what an amazing blessing it has been to me and my family.

You know when you are hiking up a mountain and it doesn’t feel like you are making much progress until you turn around and look back? That has been my mindset the past few days. I feel blessed, but it hasn’t always felt that way.

When I was young, I went through the normal spastic direction changes most of us do. I wanted to be a lawyer, or a doctor, etc. When I entered BYU, I wanted to get into film school and be a director, but decided it didn’t mesh with the family-centered lifestyle I wished to pursue. Politics?  Hmm..changing the world has a a nice ring to it. Nope. Change of course – I wanted to go into international business and travel the world. But that didn’t feel like a fit to me either.

None of those things ever really worked out, and there were times that I felt like I had blown it, as I sat at my desk in my little office in my little business. Things weren’t going well, I was second-guessing my decision. I wasn’t changing the world, I wasn’t saving lives, I wasn’t entertaining people, I wasn’t getting rich, or famous, or powerful. I was just paying the bills, and employing a few people.

I lacked faith, and perspective.

After slogging up a hill for twenty-five years, my perspective has changed. I can look back and see the Hand of the Lord in the way that initial leap has altered the course of my life, and how it has blessed me, and others.

Here are a few thoughts, and please, please don’t look at any of this as me patting myself on the back.

I am painfully aware of how much other people have contributed to my longevity: Friends and family, with support both emotional and financial, divine intervention at crucial moments, scores of wonderful people who have worked for me through the years, and still do. To avoid getting cocky, all I have to do is look back a few years and see what a number the recession did on me. It wasn’t that long ago that I was so broke that I couldn’t even afford to replace my computer – and my kind blog friends saved the day. There are so many people that I feel so much gratitude for. I think they know who they are. I hope they do.

The most important benefit to that I see from my self-employment is not about money. It is about freedom. There were times where there was no money, and I would lie awake at night wondering how I could keep from missing payments. But I never had to worry about missing the most important things because of work.

• I have been blessed to never have to work on Sunday, which is important to me.

• 21 consecutive Fathers and Sons Outings.

• I coached countless seasons of t-ball, soccer and basketball, and was able to interact with my kids as their coach, and get to know their friends.

• Whenever I needed to be at home, I could be at home. Nobody had the power to tell me “no.” I have never worked more than 10 miles aways from my house, and if Chrissie needs me, I can be there in a flash.

• We have been able to survive without my wife working outside the home. (This does not include those times she has stepped in and helped out at the office, or the times we stayed up watching tv and stuffing envelopes in bed.)

• Ironically, my freedom gave me opportunities that I thought I would never have: I have travelled the world doing humanitarian work – and saving lives.

• I have had time to run this blog and (hopefully) both entertain and enlighten a few people across the world.

• My freedom allowed me to serve as a bishop in the way I felt I need to serve – which was very time/emotion consuming.

• I’ve had the freedom to work with the youth, as a scoutmaster, YM president, and bishop. As recently as this summer, I was able to take a week and run a scout camp for one wonderful young men. (Though I still miss crashing Girl’s Camp on Bishop’s Night.)

• There have been times of plenty as well, and we have definitely taken advantage of that. My family has traveled to some wonderful places together. (Faithful readers already know about a lot of our travels.) My kids have all seen the historic church and national history sites. We have played hard in the mountains and on beaches. We have been able to bond with extended family at reunions.

• I get to spend way more time with the love of my life than most people ever dream of.

• And it isn’t hard to tell that we never missed a meal.

I’ve never been one to look back and wonder “how would things be different if…” because I am glad to be where I am now. But I can say I am glad to be where I am now, and that is a great privilege and a blessing. I haven’t always felt that way.

I love my boring job,

What? Yes, I said my job is boring. It’s true.

I imagine that many of you who have worked anywhere for a long period of time can say the same thing. Work most anywhere long enough, and the luster dims and it gets repetitive. I have seen recent research that shows that 70% of people don’t even like their jobs.  Thankfully, I have never seen a requirement that says that we have to.

After a quarter-century, my work does not provide me any great challenge and growth, BUT it provides me the freedom to seek challenge and growth outside the office. While I don’t depend on my career for self-worth, or happiness, I do find satisfaction in knowing that I provide a useful service, and I employ people – and I try and focus on those things. At one time or another, all five of my kids have worked for me, and I find tremendous “pater famillias” satisfaction in being able to provide those opportunities for learning and income, for them.

One thing that has helped me is the understanding that our work does not define who we are, or how we are doing, in God’s eyes. Nor should it define how we define ourselves.

To those of us who find ourselves in jobs that we find a bit mundane, or unimportant, here is a piece of a speech at BYU from Elder Robert D. Hales, where he extensively quotes President David O. McKay. I included the whole passage because it is just so good.

Let me assure you, Brethren, that some day you will have a personal priesthood interview with the Savior, Himself. If you are interested, I will tell you the order in which He will ask you to account for your earthly responsibilities.

First, He will request an accountability report about your relationship with your wife. Have you actively been engaged in making her happy and ensuring that her needs have been met as an individual?

Second, He will want an accountability report about each of your children individually. He will not attempt to have this for simply a family stewardship but will request information about your relationship to each and every child.

Third, He will want to know what you personally have done with the talents you were given in the pre-existence.

Fourth, He will want a summary of your activity in your Church assignments. He will not be necessarily interested in what assignments you have had, for in his eyes the home teacher and a mission president are probably equals, but He will request a summary of how you have been of service to your fellowmen in your Church assignments.

Fifth, He will have no interest in how you earned your living, but if you were honest in all your dealings.

Sixth, He will ask for an accountability on what you have done to contribute in a positive manner to your community, state, country and the world.

Blessed perspective.

I have a lot of friends and family who save people as part of their career. My daughter teaches junior high school, my daughter-in-law is an RN at the hospital emergency room. Their careers lend themselves to helping save body and soul. But not all of us are doctors or therapists or firemen. What are we supposed to do?

For behold, it is not meet that I should command in all things; for he that is compelled in all things, the same is aslothful and not a wise servant; wherefore he receiveth no reward.

Verily I say, men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness;

For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves. And inasmuch as men do good they shall in nowise lose their reward. (D&C 58:26-28)

Do I have to be a doctor to help sick people? Do I have to be famous to entertain, enlighten or inspire? Do I have to hold high political office to bless my community? No, no and no. I am accountable to contribute to the world, regardless of what my career is. Maybe my job doesn’t save people. But that does not mean I can’t save people. My company is not changing the world, but the way I run it can change lives of the people who work there, and the people we do business with – but I’ll need to change the world on my own time.

According to President McKay, I will not be judged for what I do to make a living, but I will be judged for how I act while making a living – and more for what I am doing when I am not busy making a living.

Then again, those of us who start thinking that what we do doesn’t really matter should probably volunteer for a shift in the temple laundry. And remember, during the millennium, somebody still has to clean the toilets. Perspective matters. But to those of us whose careers don’t seem to offer much in the way of “eternal significance,” I would suggest we make doubly sure the rest of our lives have eternal significance.

Monday morning, I will roll into work and start into my 26th year.

Feeling very blessed.