I am sitting here at the Hilton in Mesa, Arizona, a good 30 minutes early, so that I can get this out before the conference starts up again. It is the annual American Night Writer’s Assn. “Time Our For Writers” conference. This is the very first conference of this type that I have ever attended, so I am just getting comfortable.
Yesterday was great. I went to some classes, heard some talks, and learned a bunch of stuff. Today should be excellent as well. The first speaker this morning is Brandon Mull, author of some of my son’s favorite books. Just being in the same room as Brandon Mull has increased my “Dad is Cool” factor ten-fold in the eyes of my 7th grade son.
There is one thing that I wasn’t expecting to find here that I didn’t expect: Awkwardness. My awkwardness.
I have been approached by several people who know me from my blog and wanted to get to know each other – THAT is not awkward. In fact, I really enjoy meeting my internet friends and readers.
I also have no problem with the awkwardness of being surrounded by so many talented people – actual authors that have published some really great stuff.
The awkward thing for me? The name tag.
We were all given a handy-dandy name card when we checked in yesterday. You can see in the picture above that it is a very normal, functional name card, hanging from a normal, functional string.
If you assemble the following points, you will see why I find them awkward:
• You met a lot of people, so the idea of remembering all the names of the people you meet is very unrealistic. The name tags are essential.
• My name and facial recognition features are not what they used to be.
• There are quite a few MMM readers here that I would immediately recognize by name, but not by their face.
• Of the 300 people here, 288 are women, 12 are dudes. (Guesstimates)
• The name tag hits right about mid-chest on me. I stand at about 6’2″ tall, and I have to look down to communicate with shorter people.
• A lot of these good ladies clock in at about 5 foot nothin’, so the name tags hang lower.
• Many of these good ladies have…obstacles that make it hard to see the name tag.
• I need to wear reading glasses to see at short distances, and it takes a little too long to come into focus.
Can you see the problem? I spent my day trying to remember people’s names, and glancing ever so quickly at the name tags. I am proud to say that after one day here, I have yet to have anyone say to me, “Eyes up here, big boy.”
Today brings another day of learning, meeting good people, and trying not to look like a lech.
Bring it on.
Here
HAHAHAHA! Eyes up here big boy! Classic.
Honored to be on the list. Hoping for a little bit higher rank next year.
Hey, I’m sure you did fine. Everyone that knows about your blog is probably super excited to see you! I would be and you wouldn’t even need to call me by name:)
Whenever I attend conferences with name tags, the first thing I do is shorten the string by tying a slipknot in it so that it hangs higher and is much easier for people to glance down and see my name – and no maneuvering around obstacles.
Trust me — those of us with “obstacles” are thinking that you are trying to figure out what the last meal was that we ate from the stain on the blouse when the “obstacles” got in the way.
Oh, Laurie! How I relate!!
I’m so happy you get to go to such an inspiring event which will make MMM all the better! Enjoy!! 🙂
I fit into that short group, with significant obstacles in the way of a name tag that hangs too low, SO, I have been on the receiving end of others trying to read my name tag. However, I have been in enough places/conferences/trade shows/seminars that I can differentiate between glances at my name tag and glances at my “obstacles”, and probably most of the women whose name tags you are trying to read have,too. Enjoy the learning!
Very funny. I am 6’5″ and have had that problem for years, except I have to be very careful, else it looks worse. Good luck and have a great conference!
Brother MMM, enjoy the conference. I hope there will be not be the toxic presence of Mormon Liberals there. Wear a flak jacket just in case, as well as the full armor of God. Engage force field, If you see one; maybe launch a proton torpedo if you feel spiritual turbulence.
Godspeed,
Everyone has been very nice. It’s not always about politics.
Brad, I was only tossing out a little humor. Next time I’ll be more Pollyanna. Sheesh!
or funnier…
This is the funniest thing I’ve read in a long time.
Bahaha a legit problem that most people never think of! enjoy the conference 🙂
Hahaha – I understand that difficulty. I work with soldiers and for some reason the decision was made to put their rank insignia right in the middle of their chest instead of on their shoulder – as was done for MANY years. I now find myself feeling that same awkwardness and I am female! Just enjoy the time you get there to learn. I’m sure everyone understands.