Inautoquate Traditions

I’m not a “Car Guy”. I’m not a “Truck Guy” either. I know it is a grand tradition in some families, but for some reason, I did not receive the correct nucleotide in my genome sequencing that makes many men have extreme emotional connections to their vehicles. I have never understood that  – I try to reserve those emotion bonds for people…

(Credit to my Dad – he did have one flash of car-cool – link here)

I have more of a utilitarian mindset: To me, a car gets me from point A to point B. Sometimes I need to take people with me from A to B, or a truckload of stuff back from point B to point A. Being wired this way, I spend very little time, money, thought or effort maintaining, purchasing, cleaning or caressing my vehicles. Home and office? Clean. Truck? Not so much.

My father-in-law was a “Car Guy”. And a “Truck Guy”. Big time. Though it is still beyond my comprehension, my EC married me despite this obvious shortcoming – with his blessing. Apparently the automotive gene skips generations. I can tell that the FOMLs have it. My sons ask me questions like “If you could have any car in the world, what would you want?”  I am unable to respond with any degree of cool.  So far, my reality is that I would prefer a small truck for me, and an SUV for my EC, and a car that will make it to the high school and back for a few more years. Those are my “Reality Cars”. My “Dream Car”? One that gets 100 mpg and is paid off?

Last Father’s Day was a reminder that the “Auto Gene” is alive and well in the FOMLs. This is what they gave me:

“Oh, yeah. I was going to throw that away, but decided to get a new handle for it instead.”

“When was that?”

“January.” (Note the snow chains)

“That makes sense. I’m glad you didn’t say you are having Road Rage issues”.

 

I’ve gotta admit, it does look like a serial killer’s truck bed. Maybe I’ll just leave it like this – it does look “rugged”.

 Nah. I’ll probably just make one of my boys use my new vacuum and clean it out.

(Originally published June 23, 2011)