Ask anyone who has played much basketball to show you their free throw routine, and they will know exactly what I am talking about. They would be able to instantly show you what ritual works for them before they shoot. Don’t believe me? Ask, and they can demonstrate.
For you non-basketballers, you can watch this 90 second video to help you understand what I am talking about, so that the rest of the post makes sense.
A few years ago, some player’s routines got so elaborate that the NBA put a rule in place that limited the shooter to ten seconds before he had to shoot the ball.
If you get a chance to watch some of the playoffs, you’ll easily spot individual player’s routines. Sometimes they are strange, sometimes boring, but one thing for sure – they are consistent.
The reason these routines exist is simple: They work. Shooters that have a specific routine tend to shoot better. It is a combination of relaxing, taking inventory of your mechanics, and confidence. Any good coach will encourage a player to work out his/her routine, and practice it so much that it becomes “automatic.” It is a mental part of the game.
Application:
There are elements of our spiritual preparation that seem to work best if they are part of a routine. Specifically personal scripture study and prayer, and family scripture study and prayer.
If you ask someone their routine, you will get plenty of different answers. Some families read scriptures and pray before anyone leaves the house. Some read around the dinner table, and then pray. Some find that right before bedtime works best.
Personal study and prayer are much the same way – what is your preference? Scriptures and prayer before bed? First thing in the morning while the house is quiet?
Our family has had the most success with a routine of scriptures and prayer 20 minutes before the first FOML goes to school. That routine has worked for us for 18 years. Sometimes it required that everyone staggered out of bed much earlier than personally necessary to accommodate that one FOML that had early class. We didn’t love it, but it was the only successful “groove” we could find.
Personal study, for me, tends to be first thing when I get up, while everyone else is sleeping, and before I start messing around on my blog. If I don’t start the day that way, I rarely find time to fit it in later.
Do you know what the arch-nemesis of spiritual routines is? Summertime.
During the school year, we settle into our groove, and read and pray together faithfully. It even gets to the point where it becomes “automatic.” But then, Summertime comes around, and takes a baseball bat to our consistency. Sometimes it ain’t pretty. (MIxed sport metaphors – I apologize)
Suddenly, the kids can sleep in, and I find myself letting them, as I leave the dark house to go to work. Other times, FOMLs are off to summer camps, EFY, youth conferences, etc. The family takes vacations together, and something about waking everyone up at 6:00am on vacation to rear just seems so…so…heartless.
Bedtimes change, personal routines get messed up with travel and activities. Teenagers consider sleeping in the main point of even having a summer break.
And so, the well-oiled routine machine comes to a screeching halt. Some summers we have been mildly successful and finding replacement routines, but more often than not, there is little consistency.
Here’s the problem: I don’t believe my family can afford to take three months off. I know I can’t. Somehow, we need to figure out a way to keep the routine moving through the summer.
Maybe part of the solution is just being aware that Summerime wants to throw off our groove, and be prepared with a counter-attack. Perhaps finding a Plan B for Summertime would help – instead of early morning, the dinner table might work better, or vice-versa.
We probably need to be more willing to forge ahead, even if everyone is not there. Eventually, it is going to be just me and my EC anyway, right? (Hope, hope.)
School will be out soon, and Summertime will come to our house, looking to destroy our routine. Will we figure out a way to do better this year? If we don’t, how risky is that? It is a scary world that requires God’s truth, blessing and protection – even June through August.
What does your family do to stay on track?
Here
We so often forget the promised results of obedience to the commandment in D&C 88:124 (and it is a Commandment, isn’t it !?) that we retire and arise early. I advise against anyone going back to bed after getting up early for prayers and scripture study. Go outside in the brisk morning and do something active for at least ten minutes instead; do that consistently for a week or two, and you will soon find it much easier to keep the “retire” part of the commandment. I am always amazed at how wonderful it is to be awake and OUTSIDE to see the sun rise. Maybe even look uo sunrise times and then have your family prayers and scripture study outside. Try it, and good luck.
Time for a family meeting. What do the FOYL think would be the best way to accomplish the goal of family scripture study and prayers? Counsel with your council 🙂
Yes, that is so true! My five are all grown up, and we were faithful during school time. Summer wasn’t too bad though, until the children got older and were involved in a lot of things, including part-time jobs. We usually managed on vacation, however. Our best time was before going to bed. So when evenings ended up not working too well, I wonder why we didn’t reschedule this most important thing?
I became divoced after 21 years of marrige, which was 16 years ago now, and even though we had faithful FHE and FP, and were pretty good at SS until the older ones hit mid to late teens, I only have my eldest daughter that remains active in the church. When I do get the chance to visit her with her young three, I see that the only thing they do is FP before bed. That is so sad to see, it breaks my heart. I pray for them daily, as well as for my inactive four.
TYFS with us.
We homeschool so our routine is our own and not dictated by the school’s schedule. We do our scripture study as part of our opening exercises right after breakfast. Of course my kids are young still; it will likely get crazier as they get older and have more activities.
Amen. I was just thinking about this very thing this morning. Summer and routine are natural enemies to each other. Even recognizing that is a big step in the right direction.
I think most of the ideas I’ve ever heard for consistency were pretty much connecting your scripture study routine with another routine, something that you know happens with some consistency – part of dinner, part of getting ready for work/school, part of bedtime, or scheduled while working on the calendar. It’s sad that connecting it with something that already happens every day is so necessary for me, instead of the other way around, but I hope that I get some points for trying to make my love of sleep or food a more spiritually building experience. In college, my deal with myself was that I couldn’t go to sleep for the day until I’d done my scripture study. Yes, that did sometimes mean that I dragged myself back off the pillow at 3 in the morning and didn’t always make the most sense of what I read, but that was one of the most consistent times of my life.
We also had to wrangle a similar approach to Rhonda’s, when my husband was a full-time symphony musician and part-time college instructor. Sometimes we even had Family Home Morning. . . on Wednesday! (sometimes that was literally the only possible time). Every Sunday we sat down and put family scripture study on the calendar for each day of the upcoming week. It was hard but I feel like we were really blessed during that time.
Now we have a more predictable schedule but we still hit-and-miss with having every family member here for those crucial routines. Thanks for this thought-provoking post that will help us be proactive as school ends.
Summer gets the best of our scripture study as well . . . except for one year. I know that I had an extra helping of the Lord’s help that year, but perhaps if I applied myself I could get similar results again. My husband was in Iraq for 18 months, and I was home with the six children, ages 6 months to 15 years. I knew scripture study couldn’t be ignored as I would need all the spiritual influence in the home as possible. So I started evaluating our study time on a daily basis. Every single evening I would determine exactly what time would work best the next day. Some times it was 3:00 pm, before the orthodontist and dinner, and other times it was morning before soccer practice, and so forth. Most often, it was around 7:00 pm. The oldest were required to come home from play, where ever they were,, to participate. If they were home on time, they could go back out to play when scripture was over and the tiny ones were in bed. If they weren’t home on time, their play time was cut short. That incentive worked.Later that summer we were challenged to read the Book of Mormon by Christmas. Honestly, I nearly had a meltdown at the thought but determined I would obey. And we did do it. Even when school started, I used an approach similar to the summer’s. I worked with the schedule each day. Distilled to the basic, I made scripture study THE priority, and so it happened. I really need to get back to that approach. sigh
Excellent suggestion. But I’m getting tired thinking about it.
Anyone who can connect Karl Malone to scripture study moves up one point on the awesome chart of organized Mormonism….
I’ll take it.
We have family scripture and pray time right smack in the middle of the evening before my husband goes to bed. (He works the 2am shift) It works for us really well. Even during the summer. Usually it is either during dinner and it opens discussions on doctrine or historical events, or right after which gives me an excuse to nix TV time. My personal routine is usually late at night when everyone else has gone to bed. It’s quiet and I’m usually awake anyway. We found it to be much easier for us to keep to this routine for our family. And we do it even if someone isn’t there. On activity nights the kids and I read while we are driving to or from, as it’s an hour each way. It’s especially nice because it gives me an opportunity to really point out important things without interruptions.
Our house also is empty.
“Eventually, it is going to be just me and my EC anyway, right? (Hope, hope.)”
Grace: Smiling. Time flies on wings of lightening.
I think the problem is waiting for a perfect situation. Reading at dinner instead of waking everyone up so early in the summer sounds good. But if one child has band camp, or someone is spending the night with a friend, or Mom leaves early to help with enrichment and we aren’t all there around the dinner table it’s not ideal so we skip it. Why not read at dinner with whomever is there and wherever you do eat (yes- with smart phones you can read in Mcdonalds)? We might only have the full quorum on Sunday but let’s go with who we have.
I had one friend that was a CES administrator. When he came to visit the Seminary class I was teaching he asked to be excused for about 10 minutes before he met with me after class. Why? He was sky ping family scripture reading and prayer with his kids. Not the ideal situation but a sweet reminder of how we can figure it out.
We get everyone up for prayer before my husband leaves for work. And when summer at youth conference or what ever we still forge ahead with those at home. Scripture study is currently done after we finish eating dinner but before anyone is excused to do their chores. We do not allow sleeping in late. I am a firm believer in early to bed early to rise.
Thank goodness I am not the only one who struggles with this. I have no answers but Im right thhere with ya.
When we started family scripture study, it was in the morning at breakfast. Then our kids got older and my husband’s commute got longer, so we moved it to the evening, just before bed time. At one point we realized that while we had family prayer every night, we often skipped the scripture portion on the weekends because “it’s too late and we’re tired.” The culprit was the television (which wasn’t turned on from Sunday to Thursday). So, on Fridays and Saturdays we started having family scripture study and prayer before turning on a movie, and that worked.
In the morning, it’s just family prayer, and we have it in the bedroom hallway before the first person leaves. Those who don’t have to get up that early go back to bed. With variable “working in fast food” schedules, part of the routine at night is figuring out what time prayer will be the next morning.
There was a period of time when we had two family prayers in the morning. I wasn’t about to get my pre-schoolers up at 5:30 AM when the teenagers left for seminary. (Maybe now I would, but 15 years ago I didn’t feel that way.) So, we had one “partial” family prayer then, and then another “partial” family prayer before the elementary school kids left.
You’re right. Developing habits and routines makes doing the little stuff alot easier. And sometimes those routines need to be changed or adapted. Our one son, who thrives on routines, describes making those changes finding a new normal. I’m sure you’ll do better this summer; after all, you’ve already recognized that you want to, and that’s a big part of the battle.
“Two family prayers” is exactly what we try and avoid. (Not referring to morning and night, but splitting the family)
If you are the one who leaves the house first, then get them up before you go to work. It isn’t heartless; they can go back to bed after you leave… We had the same problem. We were always more consistent during the routine of the school year. Now the house is empty!