Holding Back the World

“If the Savior stood beside me, would I do the things I do?”

Ummmm… Probably not.

A simple line in a Primary song serves as a slap upside the head when self-evaluating. Luckily, the odds of Jesus hanging out with me are very, very slim, so the song doesn’t feel too immediately threatening.

I think we have all wondered how we would react if Jesus, or President Monson, were to stay at our house for a day or two, and what adjustments we would make.

Personally, I am afraid that with me, there would be a little too much “Martha,” and not enough “Mary.”  I would be whispering to my kids to use good table manners, stop touching each other and turn off SpongeBob.  I would probably be less of a slob around the house, and use gentler tones when speaking, etc. In other words, I would pretend to be somebody else.

Some things would be strange. If Jesus were at with us at the dinner table, the prayer would go from vain repetition to somewhat confusing. The conversation would either consist of a lot of empty pauses, or the normal constant barrage of chatter, where our guest couldn’t get a word in edge-wise.

I imagine our TV consumption would drop drastically, and some shows would remain safely ensconced on the DVR for later viewing.

The daily family scripture study would DEFINITELY occur, and I’m guessing that everyone would stay awake for the expert commentary.

So, it is safe to say, working through this Primary song exercise is very revealing – and kind of sad.

Thankfully, it is not too likely to happen, so it is not really much of an immediate worry.

However…this week we are getting a little taste of what it could be like. FOML3 returned home from his mission last weekend. He is glowing. He is happy, and spiritual, and kind. I feel like if the Savior stood beside him, he would be just fine.

We talk about missionaries coming home and getting back to “normal.” I gotta tell you, “normal” is overrated. It has been a joy watching how my son has grown, deepened and changed. His “abnormality” is beautiful. It is remarkable how walking with the Spirit in the Lord’s service can mold us. I hope he never fully arrives back to “normal.”

As I have been watching him trying to hold back the world this week, I am rooting for him. I am in no hurry for him to normalize. I like being around this new, improved version, because it is a better version, and because it rubs off on the rest of us.

My tone is better, my reactions tempered, our conversations are more uplifting, and I am more sensitive to what is on the TV or radio when he is around.

I find it tragic to see a returned missionary race to embrace the pre-mission “normality” that they left for two years.

President Kimball described what I feel way back in ’78 in a talk at BYU:.

“Let me confess one of the sad disappointments I sometimes feel:  The returned missionary who, after two years of taking great pride in how he looks and what he represents, returns to this campus or some other similar place to see how quickly he can let his hair grow, how fully he can develop a mustache and long sideburns and push to the very margins of appropriate grooming, how clumpy his shoes get, how tattered his clothes are, how close to being grubby he can get without being refused admittance to the school.  That, my young returned missionary brethren, is one of the great disappointments in my life.”.