Yesterday I posted results from my 3rd Anniversary Survey that were mostly demographic. Today is more about what people think.
To start, here are a few of the comments I thought were especially sweet:
“I think you are a bit pretentious and tend to be degrading when you don’t agree with someone else’s opinion.”
“You could be more sympathetic to what causes others pain or discomfort rather than imply that your way is right and they shouldn’t struggle with whatever the subject is.”
“We need more cat pictures.”
“I sometimes find you a little off-putting — like the well-meaning brothers in ward council who have ALL the answers. I just silently roll my eyes at you like I do to them. It can be hard to be a woman in this church when it is the men who know everything.”
“My only criticism is that you really need to 100% give up the soda.”
“In the “wrong” column I’d put that you don’t post often enough.”
“I get the judgment vibe from you a lot. Sometimes I get the impression you are actually mad at people who don’t have the same outlook as you do, and would like nothing better for people who don’t dress/think/act/believe as you do to get out of the church.”
“1- being too dismissive of commenters who don’t have the same degree of talent in the above three areas. 2-overusing absolutisms.”
Before I continue, I would like to say “Whatever” to the last commenter, and let them know that I absolutely never use absolutisms.
There were only a handful of critical comments (I imagine the people who hate me don’t read or fill out surveys). There was a recurring thread in the critical comments that I act like I am always right, or “Mr. Know-it-All.” Here’s the deal: If I didn’t think I was right about something, I wouldn’t write about it. That would be kind of silly to put up a post that I think is wrong – and maybe somewhat irresponsible. (See, I’m right about that, too.)
The overwhelming majority of the comments were positive, kind and generous. As I reviewed them for this post, I was overwhelmed, just as I was when they were submitted. You are a very thoughtful and supportive group of readers, and I want you to know how much I appreciate it. (I’ll include some at the end of the post so you will know I’m not making this up.)
Anonymity
Exactly. I was stunned as well. A full 75% of you want me to remain anonymous. I expected a closer split.
Most of the 25% of the anti-anonymity people are just curious and hate not knowing. Some of them were more judgmental and have a hard time trusting someone they don’t know.
The majority likes the anonymity because of several main reasons: They think it is fun and adds some intrigue to the blog, they think I am able to be more free with my thoughts than if I had to filter because people knew me, or they think it is nice that my family has a “buffer” from my readers.
Advertising
This was probably the biggest surprise to me. (Other than the request for more cat pictures.)
I had fretted about this idea for a long time. I didn’t expect to see over 70% say they didn’t care or would be fine with ads on the blog. Many provided some good reasoning why I should make some money from this endeavor.
More reassuring was that only 7 readers (1%) said they would dump me if I had ads. I had figured the opposition to this would have been larger and louder.
As you can tell, I did not rush out and start slapping random ads on the blog. The biggest reader concern about ads was that they would distract and detract. I couldn’t agree more. The last thing I want is to be sponsored by Victoria’s Secret and Budweiser, with irritating pop-up ads.
However, should a good company, with a really good product want to reach a “cream of the crop” LDS audience, and wants to sponsor my blog, or place some ads, I would be willing to talk to them. No promises – and not just anybody.
I did receive one lecture on the evils of Priestcraft. I think I will head over to Deseret Book and see if I can buy an overpriced book by one of the brethren that explains it a little better.
The Payoff
Here are a few comments that give you an insight as to what makes writing this blog worthwhile. I am the one that is truly blessed in this endeavor.
I did receive two comments from readers that are concerned that I might get a big head as the blog becomes more successful. Please don’t take the inclusion of these comments as patting myself on the back – I just want to let you know I am grateful, and let you see what some others have said.
“I found your blog while I was struggling with several family members’ vociferous apostasies. My FB feed was full of vitriol towards my faith, and as a result I still struggle with a kind of internet-conversation PTSD. You were the breath of fresh air that made me want to participate in the online community again.”
“You appear to whole-heartedly sustain the gospel and the church which I find is a wonderful change from what seems to happen in the blogosphere. There are so many anti-LDS blogs and it’s great to be able to read a positive LDS blog. Keep up the good work. We enjoy what you do!”
“What you do is rare. I love that it’s often about doctrine. I love that it’s a male perspective. I love that you are in line with the brethren, because the other voice that is very loud in the blogosphere is the voice of those who disagree with the church.”
“Love the way you talk about your wife and family. I love that you offer insights into the Gospel- sometimes stuff I never knew, and sometimes you just manage to put something into words that I never could articulate.”
“I love everything about your blog. It has brought me great comfort as I struggle through a very difficult time. It uplifts me, teaches me, reminds me what is important, helps me keep an eternal perspective, and, ultimately, smile. Thank you for spending time on something that is so valuable.”
“I love your sense of humor. I think more LDS people need to lighten up and learn to laugh at ourselves. It would solve a lot of problems in the world if we all laughed a little more!”
“I love that you can take complex doctrinal points and talk about them in a way that not only provokes thought, but makes it more easily understandable. More than once, I’ve copied off one of your posts & mailed it to my missionary sons to use with their investigators. When I was serving as RSP last year I used many of the things I learned here while counseling with less-active or struggling sisters in my needy ward. I also really truly appreciate that you side with the Brethren in all things and stand up for what’s right, no matter how ugly the trolls get.”
“Your posts really resonate with me doctrinally. I’ve never once thought that your were speaking out of line or untruthfully. I like how you don’t take things seriously but at the same time, I appreciate your respect for those things of sacred nature. You make the Gospel understandable. Also, you are never afraid or ashamed to say it how it is…and I really support that.”
THAT is what makes it all worthwhile.
As you can tell it is great, and humbling, to be me, and great to have you as friends and readers. Thank you for taking the time to fill out the survey and let me peek into your thoughts.
This whole blogging adventure has been just that: An adventure. One of the great benefits for me is that it helps me look at the world, and my day-to-day life with gospel-tinted glasses. Every experience in our lives can become some sort of a lesson, if we pay attention.
Behave!
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Just a quick comment. My mom follows no blogs. I even have to tell her when I update mine with new pictures of the kids. But she reads yours.
Been a long time follower, rare commenter. As others have said, I enjoy the mix of humorous and sacred. I almost always agree with you (and I love reading thoughts of people I agree with!!), but mostly love having something uplifting to read that does NOT focus on decorating or life as a mormon mommy. Because while I am a happy mormon mommy, that is not all I am nor all I think about.
Thanks! Keep up the writing!
I missed the survey – I feel bad… boo, hoo. I would have loved to be a part of the “statistics.” But…. maybe from these comments, you can include me in your numbers. I love your blog. You are the only blog I read, I really don’t know why that is, nothing else has ever interested me. I love that you understand the gospel of Jesus Christ and speak of it in every entry. I love that you live your life in accordance with the teachings of Christ and his true gospel – what a beautiful example in today’s corrupt world. I love that you are willing to take the time and write (type) these things out for people who like me and everyone else. I love that you love your wife and your children – how refreshing. I love that I am getting teary-eyed just expressing my gratitude to you. I love that you are a force for a good in a world that has lost its way. Your strength comes through loud and clear to me and I love that you are not ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ. I am not either.
I always find it funny how so many people can read the same thing yet find something so different- some think your judgmental and others, such as I, don’t. Those that might find you in a negative light might have a more personal issue then they give themselves credit for. I have thoroughly enjoyed your blog and am constantly forwarding your blogs to my husband. Even though I don’t think he reads them (sorry). I find some people tend to think the church so off putting because of the seriousness it can portray….. It is a breathe of fresh air when someone can add a little humor and straightforwardness to it. So thanks, MMM.
I didn’t see the survey or I would have participated. I love your blog, I think of principles that I have learned to understand more deeply because of your insight and humor. I think my favorite post(today) is Let Virtue Garnish Your Thoughts. I think of it often (pun intended) I also loved the Fathers Day gift post. Best line ever,(sorry, it’s from memory) Don’t buy me new socks, just return the ones you used without permission.
Thanks for brightening my day, expanding my thought processes, and sharing your unique insights. Keep em coming!
I’m sure you MEANT to say “PEEK into your thoughts.”
That’s the best comment you can come up with?
Oh dear…
(That is the best comment I can come up with)
Me too! Love this blog. Love your brain. Love how you are no sissy. You are an internet angel. It’s true. Pleeeeeeeaasse don’t change. Not that me typing that is going to make a difference.
Many many blessing to YOU!! xo
That is a very sweet comment. Thanks Virginia.
The payoff comments are wonderful! These reasons echo the same reasons why we’re avid followers of your blog in our home, MMM. Your way of writing makes us feel like we’re all friends, just talking together, sharing insights into the gospel, and having some good laughs along the way.
Keep on keeping on (and remember, behave!)
I don’t normally leave comments on blogs (or anywhere else, for that matter) but I just want to say how much I appreciate your perspective. You make me laugh and my husband and I have some great discussions when I read him your blog. Nice to hear a male perspective with a sense of humor….
Thanks for making an exception and leaving your sweet comment.
Even though I sometimes disagree with you, it’s generally only on small things, and in any case, isn’t it nice to know that we in the Church don’t all have to think and do the exact same things? I appreciate the fact that you are willing to find humor in the Church community when sometimes it seems like too many people are unable to do so. Mormon culture is pretty darn weird sometimes, why shouldn’t we find humor in that?
In short, you’re probably more “culturally Mormon” than I am, but that’s okay. You can keep avoiding R-rated movies, and I can keep ignoring MPAA ratings, and as far as I’m concerned we’re both doing pretty well. Only maybe you’re doing better because you’re helping out more people than I am so far… but I’m young and have a ways to go.
Glad to have you on board. And I am fine if you ignore the MPAA ratings!
And now it’s Quiz Time: Name ONE R-rated movie that does not violate the spirit and counsel given in the For the Strength of Youth Guidelines, or the 13th Article of Faith.
“Do not attend, view, or participate in anything that is vulgar, immoral, violent, or pornographic in any way. Do not participate in anything that presents immorality or violence as acceptable.”
See, we really aren’t that far apart if we are both being obedient – right?
It’s been a long time since I’ve seen it, so I don’t remember it completely, but does Schindler’s List (rated R) violate any of this?
I think genocide and torture kinda fits the whole “violence” motif…
Also, Schindler = womanizer and they don’t tone that aspect of his life down… For the strength of Youth definitely rules that one out. I saw it for a class and, although it was moving, I wouldn’t watch it again because of the smut that came along with it. I think excess exploration into that kind of stuff actually detracts from the overall message (and tasteful-ness) of the film.
Kind of like I would never watch The Passion of the Christ, but the church does an excellent job of portraying the same events in a way that shares the same feeling and doesn’t fight (or detract from) the Spirit.
YES! It does.
Thanks, guys! I was a teenager when I saw that movie, so it’s been a couple of decades (!).
My view is that I’m looking at the media I consume based on whether I feel like it makes a spiritual contribution into my life, and sometimes things that depict violence can still be spiritual, depending on how the violence is handled. War movies are a good example of this — in order for them to honestly depict war, they must have some amount of violence. Some war movies are very evocative and emotional and help the audience to add another dimension to their understanding of how it feels to be human, and what we are supposed to do about it. I won’t watch films that I think are glorifying violence, immorality, or vulgarity, but if they are presenting them to demonstrate the OPPOSITE of what we should be doing or thinking, then I am willing to consider them.
“It must needs be that there is an opposition in all things,” and I think that understanding (but not celebrating) the opposite of good helps us to understand why the good is important.
For example, two violent films, both of which I presume to be rated R: Braveheart, and Gran Torino. I saw Braveheart not by any choice of my own (it was because I had a lazy and negligent eight-grade history teacher) and was disgusted by it because of how it threw violence at the screen whenever it could. Every act of violence was front-and-center, and some deaths were far more grisly than necessary. Gran Torino is also extremely violent, since it is about gang warfare, but much of the violence occurs off-screen, and in either case it is shown in contrast to the good lifestyle that the characters are striving towards. When a character is assaulted, it happens off-screen; it matters that it happened, not how it happened. The film made me think about how difficult it is for people who are trapped in the vicious cycles of poverty and gang violence, and it couldn’t have depicted that honestly without some amount of violence in the film.
I don’t think everyone should need to watch violent films, and if they shun anything that is in any way violent, that’s okay — but I think it’s important to make the distinction of what the violence achieves in the film. The Bible and the Book of Mormon present terrifying acts of violence and immorality, sometimes in detail, but do not glorify in any of it either, which I think is the key distinction.
My personal motto about movies is: “I trust God, not the MPAA.” Why should I give up a part of my spiritual decision-making to a committee of men who make their decisions based on social and financial motives?
I apologize for my long-winded comment, but for whatever reason this is just an issue that feels important to me.
I wouldn’t hand the decision making to the MPAA either. But I also try not to ignore the council of living prophets and justify viewing the things they counsel us to stay away from by putting my personal “spin” on what violence is of moral worth. I imagine you could make a case for watching a movie with gratuitous sex if the moral of the story is that adultery turns out bad for the protagonist. (Fatal Attraction, anyone?)
If President Monson stayed at your home, would you rent a copy of Gran Torino so he could better understand gang violence?
Standards are standards. Everyone has their agency to follow them, or not. But quoting Lehi to justify ignoring standards….?
“I think I will head over to Deseret Book and see if I can buy an overpriced book by one of the brethren that explains it a little better.”….best quote all day from MMM!
I’m curious if this is regarding the link I shared with you regarding some interesting thoughts. I’ve been wondering what I thought of it myself. I’m thinking maybe it wasn’t mine you were referring to though as I’m surprised if it came across as a lecture.
The overpriced book is a great idea! Lol. 😉
Hahaha I am pretty certain that you just published one of my comments! Glad that the survey gave you more insight. Its nice to know that you are holding off on adds, I hadn’t ever thought about that but it does show how important this blog is to you. Thanks for sharing!
Leave it to Missy to be in the vocal minority! 😉
The fact that you have people who disagree strongly makes it more realistic to me. There is “opposition in all things.” But isn’t it interesting that the ones who accuse you of being judgmental seem to be doing that exact thing towards you.
I do enjoy that specific irony.
I didn’t participate in the survey…too busy of a week, but I agree with a lot of what has been said here. It’s really wonderful, and though I disagree occasionally, that’s okay. I really love it and your sense of humor. All my kids (grown) read it too and find it’s thoughtful and thought provoking. Keep up the good work.