Yesterday was a long day. It had started out with a quasi work disaster that launched me out the door before the kids were out of bed, setting the tone for the rest of the day. You know how some days everyone seems to be extra irritating? That was yesterday. Do I have to solve everyone’s problems for them?
I arrived at work 90 minutes before everyone else, and was still there 90 minutes after everyone else left. It was a long, irksome day, and I had become an irksome man. Everything was bugging me. (I’m sure this has never happened to you, so please don’t be too harsh in your judgment.)
I needed some therapy. Since I don’t have a therapist, I decided I would even have to do that by myself. So I reclined on the couch in my mind to have a brief session. (I don’t have a real couch in my office – nothing productive would ever come from that.)
The therapist in my head is not very gentle – he calls it like he sees it. The session went something like this:
“And what seems to be the trouble today?”
“Everyone and everything is driving me crazy. I have been at work forever, and I’m still not finished, and I’m tired.”
“I see. Very interesting.”
“What is very interesting?”
“I have already made a diagnosis.”
“That was fast. What is wrong with me?”
“Do you want it in professional terms, or layman terms?”
“Just tell me already. Sheesh.”
“My diagnosis is this: You are a big, arrogant, spoiled, ungrateful baby.”
“Excuse me?”
“What? You didn’t hear me? I said you were a big, arrogant, spoiled…”
“Yeah yeah – I heard that. I was just kinda surprised.”
“Surprised by what?
“Well, that you would actually call me out like that and make it sound like everything is my fault instead of everyone else’s.”
“I see – this might be more difficult than I suspected. Perhaps we should dig a little deeper. Let’s delve into your attitude about your job.”
“Sounds good. Let’s do.”
“You have one.”
“One what?
“A job. Moving on…”
“Wait! That’s it?”
“Of course. You sit and moan about your job and the long hours. You know how many people would KILL to have this cushy job – or any job at all. Spoiled baby.”
“I suppose so.”
“Suppose? Your family has a roof over their heads, food on the table, and Oreos in the pantry. Quit your whining.”
“Okay, okay. I get it. I guess I should get back to work,” as I started to get up.
“Hang on a second – I’m not done.”
I sat back down.”Now what?”
“Since I have your attention, let me ask you a question.”
“If you must.”
“Now think before you answer…”
“Okay.”
“Tell me what important part of your life is not going well. You know the crucial stuff.”
“Ummm.”
“Nothing? Exactly. To beat the point into your head, let’s go through it step by step.”
“Do I have a choice?”
“No.”
“Then proceed.”
“First, your EC loves you. Only she and God can explain this, but there it is. You have a great marriage, and if you don’t mess it up, it will be eternal.”
“I can’t argue with that.”
“Moving on. Every one of your 5 children are where they are supposed to be, doing what they are supposed to be doing. Each of them is strong in the faith, and you have a good relationship with all of them.”
“True.”
“You family is centered on the Gospel of Jesus Christ, is it not?”
“It is.”
“And you have a relationship with your Savior as well?”
“I do.”
“You are healthy?”
“Against all odds, yes.”
“You are employed?”
“Yes, but…”
“But nothing. Sure, you had to work a few extra hours today, but only to make up for the fact that you took two days off last week. How many people do you know that have the amount of freedom you do?”
“Alright, alright. No more complaining about work.”
“About work? How about no more complaining, period. It seems like you have forgotten what you experienced in Africa when You saw how bad things can really be. You have a great life! Every important part of your life is on track, and here you are grousing about little irritants.”
“No really, I understand. I will stop complaining. This has been very helpful.”
“Glad to hear it. One more question, and I’ll let you up.”
“Okay?”
“Does your mental vocabulary even include the word ‘gratitude?’ If so, you might want to dust if off occasionally.”
“It does, and I will.”
“Glad to hear it. Now get back to work, and quit being a big, whiny baby.”
“Thank you.”
And while you’re at it, maybe you could slap a smile on your face.”
So I did.
I never claimed that my self-therapist was gentle, but he is effective.
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Dang, I love this! I had to revisit it today. So worth it. I like your therapist and would hire him any day!!
Your therapist sounds a lot like my husband. 😉 He believes very strongly in mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it won’t matter.
Perfect timing. Just when I needed this.
Spot on. Reminds me of Bob Newhart’s classic two word cure: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow0lr63y4Mw
Hooray for this post!! It makes me happy!!!!!! Thank you 🙂
I had an epiphany moment like that a few years back. I had had a “bad” week and was feeling pretty annoyed with the universe. I was working out in my gym (yes, really) when I took a much-needed breather, and happened to look over the railing into the foyer below. There I saw a little boy, aged about 5, trying to open an iced drink carton. He had tucked the carton under his arm and was tearing at it with his only hand. He managed it pretty quickly and without asking any of the adults with him for help, and then just got on with enjoying his drink.
I remember thinking that I had no reason to moan or cry, ever. This boy had a challenge – minor compared to some maybe, but a challenge nevertheless – that neither I nor my children faced, and he was just getting on with things as best he could. Whatever else annoyed or frustrated me in life, I had both hands available to deal with it with.
Thanks for the laugh and the awesome
reminder how spoiled we all are.
Gratitude, what a great word!
Wow! Thanks for putting things into perspective. Even on hard days, there are so many things that we can be thankful for each day. I love the mental therapist exercise, just might do it myself more often!
My inner therapist can solve almost anything with chocolate, paper plates, and a walk with a friend! Three things for which I am very grateful!
Awesome. Just awesome. Saving this for myself since I definitely need a more assertive therapist. 🙂
Great blog. We also call these issues “First World Problems”. So many people in less developed countries work all day to keep a roof over their head and provide at least 1 meal a day for their children, never mind the Oreos in the pantry. The unemployment rate is unbelievably high….so, yes, you need to be grateful for the huge blessings that you have and stop complaining. You’re problems, in perspective, are pretty insignificant and definitely “First World”. Your blog is great and very insightful.
Hmmm – your therapist has some good points – and technique! (making notes to myself when I get those letters behind my name that make me a therapist) =)
Great post! Kind of goes along with some thoughts I’ve been having lately!
Sounds like our therapists are similar….
Great thoughts, I love it. I think, sometimes we need to be reminded.
Brilliant reminder.