Yesterday I was sitting at my desk, eating some grapes. They were delicious, and thought I would share. (My thoughts, not my grapes.)
So to show a little gratitude for the world in which we live, I put this up on Facebook:
You know what is great about living in today’s world? You can get fresh grapes, apples, or whatever produce your heart desires – even in the dead of winter.
I kid you not- within minutes, the following comments were made:
• Don’t count on it for long, and don’t take it for granted while we’ve got it. California is in a serious drought.
• Not to mention food with fake dyes and preservatives.
• Average age of a grocery store apple is 14 months.
• The problem is with the chemicals they spray all over that fruit to get it across the world.
Droughts! Dyes! Chemicals! And to think how foolish I was for enjoying my grapes. Never again!
— Disclaimer: I am guilty of doing this exact same thing. I see a post and immediately thing of a clever riposte, and let it fly. Often, it is negative.
Are we really like that? Or just on Social Media?
If one of the FOMLs says “Hey Dad! this apple is yummy,” do I reply, “You know son, after the drought, the only apples you will ever be able to eat will be two years old and covered with poison – so you had better enjoy it!”
(Remember my disclaimer – I am as guilty as the next person, and I am wrestling with these questions.)
Is it because caustic humor is easier?
Is it because it is quicker to think of a comeback that is oppositional, rather than supportive?
Is it in our nature to want to correct people?
Are we showing off how much we know?
Is it the eternal truth that it is harder to build up than to tear down?
Do we lose our sense of humor when we are being kind?
This past week I have watched the internet go topsy-turvy battling over a cartoon. (Yes, I contributed to the melee.) It has been sad to see how people’s comments and responses go vitriolic towards the people involved, rather than trying to understand the ideas they are furthering – or even discussing their opposition in a civil manner.
Too often, our immediate reaction is to oppose what we read, rather than judge it on its merit, and consider it. In the “instant comment” world, there is precious little thought put in when we quickly respond, and once it is out there…
I don’t know about you, but for me, I succumb to the temptation of being a clever contrarian, rather than a supportive friend – far too often.
Hopefully, we aren’t really in a mental/emotional place where the answer to everything is snark, gloom, despair and agony. If so, how tragic!
I want to believe that we are more like that online, than we are in real life.
I hope I am.
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Gosh! I’ve been working on it! I’ll keep trying. Thanks for the reminder. I find it’s hard to be kind and funny. That’s wrong. And I know that. *sigh*……the never ending quest to improve
The only think I think of when eating grapes is sadness. Sadness about how few of them I can fit in my mouth at a time. OM NOM NOM…
I think people have a definite tenancy to be more harsh online than they are in real life. One of the biggest causes of this (IMHO) is the anonymity we experience in cyberspace. If you say something critical to someone in person, you see the reaction firsthand- a hurt expression, anger, tears, etc. the other person also sees your face an knows who you are. Even people who are not always kind usually don’t want a reputation as a mean person. Online, most people don’t use their actual name and feel free to say anything regardless of the consequences. How many posts have you seen that tell people they’re stupid and they should drop dead (usually in more colorful terms)? There is a serious lack of compassion and courtesy online.
So does produce which is flown to us after it ripens in Chile or Australia in December become forbidden fruit as it crosses the equator?
First let me say that I absolutely agree with your main premise, and I’ve worked hard lately to keep my online communications uplifting. I’m in an online Book of Mormon class where we’re required to post on discussion boards, and even though class members are respectful of each other, the amount of hand wringing and self castigation as they ponder principles of the gospel is a little sad. You would never know by reading those boards that there is much joy in the gospel. So even there that negative tone creeps in.
However, I think your specific example is perhaps not the best case in point. I don’t read those comments as snarky or funny. Your original supposition that it’s great to get any kind of produce any time of year made me flinch. Coming from a man who I’m guessing would never be tempted to bust out a cigarette or down a double latte, such disregard of the word of wisdoms council to eat fruits and vegetables in the season thereof, well, like I said, it makes me flinch. You’re not alone, every single Word of Wisdom lesson I’ve ever sat through focuses on those few things that most members present aren’t personally struggling with. Nobody ever wants to talk about the verses that might require some changes in their own eating habits, such as seasonal produce and eating meat sparingly. I hope I don’t sound like a crank, this is just an area where the Lord has especially touched my heart and given me a strong testimony of his will for how best to feed and take care of our wonderful bodies, one of his greatest gifts to us.
Your views on “seasonal” produce are somewhat bizarre when you consider how many members of the church live in climates where produce is grown year round. So a member of the church in Denver is sinning when they eat a tomato in January, but a member in So.Cal is not? I’m sure none of the Apostles would ever stoop to eat a salad from October though April.
I don’t think it’s bizarre to say that what’s okay to eat seasonally depends on where you live. The Word of Wisdom is a health code, and it’s well established that produce eaten soon after it’s picked has a lot more nutrition than things that are picked unripe and shipped around the country or the world. I’ve found that as I’ve sought to find the things that are available in season, the taste and quality are so much better it’s like they’re completely different foods than what I’d been used to buying from the grocery store out of season. Try a tomato fresh from the garden in July versus the pink cardboard you get at the store in January and tell me there’s no difference. And the difference isn’t just in taste, it’s in nutrition. But don’t ask me to explain all the complexities, it’s there in the Word of Wisdom, in the Lord’s words, ask Him what He means by it.
We’ve worked on this as a family. It seemed our love language was sarcasm! After the Ensign had that article last year we worked hard to change. It is so easy to be funny with a bite. So hard to change.
I think you are spot on with the problem of people being mind-numbingly rude online and in online comments. Studies show that people wearing masks will act in ways they never would consider acting without the mask, and I think the same holds true for comments made online. That being said, I also think you touched on a topic that is is currently all of the rage to rip on–our food supply. Where our food supply is concerned this is not just an online problem. It seems everywhere I turn there is someone decrying the horrors of whatever is being eaten at the time. One women was so incessant I finally asked, “Can I please stop hearing this? I just want to be grateful for what I have and I recognize there are many hungry people out there who would love to have what I have–imperfections and all.” It seems we’ve gone from Adam eating his bread from the sweat of his brow to everyone demanding perfect and ever abundant food without any effort (or gratitude) on our own part. (Just a little food for thought…)
I think in large part it is due to the lack of human to human interaction. Similar things happen when we wrap ourselves inside a car. We often act less civil to the others around us than we would if we were to interact face to face.
Hope is a good/great thing…=)..and I additionally thank you for sharing your thoughts.
What is it that we are asked to do in 3 Nephi 11:29? We are not to have the spirit of contention because that “stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another.” hss has it right…just be kind. I don’t know of a day that doesn’t look better with a little sunshine through the window.
Many articles are written to heighten the emotion of people. It’s been said to me that if both the opposing opinions are not angry it’s not a good article. I totally disagree with that concept. I think you can write an article or write a statement and just have it be that. But we are in a world where opinion has become news, and many take it as fact – not looking past the opinionion for the actual facts. News has changed to a stirring up of emotions rather than reporting of information, So when a story is read, immediately the first thing people do is try to defend their understanding from the opinion of the person telling the story we have become guarded in what we hear. Often feeling a need to stand up for oneself or correcting the information that is being reported. I myself a love being able to eat fruit through the winter.
Like Thumper’s mommy said, “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t….
That would be nice. I’ve quit reading comments for the most part. I just don’t need that kind of negativity in my life.
Thank you for sharing your observation. I’m also frustrated with the freedoms people take to say whatever they want online. I see innocent comments or questions on Facebook quickly become hot debates that can ruin your day and sometimes even friendships.
“By their “fruits” ye shall know them.” I could get caught up as easily as the next person, but sad experience has taught me to think before I type and click, “enter.” I use my delete key quite often and instead of posting for the world to see, I tell my husband instead. Something to talk about around the dinner table.
Speaking of the dinner table and amazing winter-time fruit…I have purchased the BEST watermelons from Costco in the past month. (January/February) I can’t get over it. They have been even better than the ones I buy in the summer. They have been firm, sweet and oh so juicy…every time! Yum!!! It’s a couple of dollars more, but totally worth it to watermelon lover me.
I have set a goal to not read comments …although sometimes I don’t follow through and do read comments. No matter what I thought of the original article, I usually read comments and begin to feel a bit down about the attitudes of my fellow man. (I am not quick to write sarcastic comments, because, honestly, I am never quick to think of sarcastic things to say…humor of the genuine or sarcastic kind is not my strength…although I appreciate kind, genuine humor in others). I had some raspberries a few days ago, a rare treat in winter, because of their cost, but boy did I enjoy them. They made me feel so grateful…to have a wide variety of foods to eat, to have the money to be able to get a tasty treat like raspberries in February, to live in a land where I have grocery stores stocked with nearly anything my heart could desire. We are so blessed.
“My plea is that we stop seeking out the storms and enjoy more fully the sunlight..” -Gordon B Hinckley
Either we can be happy to have the darned grapes or worry about whats in them..bla, bla, bla.. YOLO! I chose to enjoy the sunlight..until the chemicals from the grapes kill me. YES! 😀
Thanks, MMM. I personally find you to be VERY positive energy here on this online place…not at all negative.
There is a meme going around pinterest that says:
Before you speak think.
Is it…
T-rue
H-elpful
I-nspiring
N-ecessary
K-ind
I find myself committing this faux pas so frequently I printed it out and taped it to my computer desk. 🙂
I had a whole bunch-a garbage typed up, and then went to look up a link, and it loaded over my comment box.
Oh, well — you’re probably better off!
The link I’m referring to is Why Vicious Online Comments are like Killing. (Sorry if I already shared it with you.) I wouldn’t say the comments made with regard to your grapes were vicious, but I know you’ve come into contact with it before, and I read a few in a few of those Frozen posts (some of which were written to rile feathers, I might add) that were really vicious.
Anyhow, I really like what this blogger, Elad, has to say about the topic. It is very well thought-out (and may even apply to ourselves). Enjoy!
Link: http://popchassid.com/online-comments-killing/
Fascinating. Thanks, Katrina!
Once again you fail to disappoint…
Excellent food for thought!
Being lazy really comes in handy here. Even though I might think of a thing to say that might be contrary, most times it is just too much effort to comment. Especially if I am on a mobile device. Obviously I am not at the moment. 🙂
Nice. =)
(no snark & I really mean it)
The people who can be funny and uplifting are the true geniuses. How come I’m the first comment?
Oh, and don’t forget contributing to climate change by not eating local, in-season organics only that don’t have to be trucked/flown! I’m glad I can get grapes in the winter too…only I usually don’t, because the price is too high.
All these naysayers have valid points, but I think another part of the reason WHY we hear so much negativity is because there is SO much info out there- we know a lot more than we used to about our food supply and everything else, which is good and bad. Because we’re drinking from a firehose, we have to form a very hasty opinion and move on to the next thing.
And there’s the negativity bias: our brains are more sensitive to negative things- they are more memorable (think mudslinging and the evening news report vs speeches to honor someone and the Hallmark channel).
I love grapes. And oranges and apples. And bananas.