How to Ruin Your Life – Lessons From Cain

Usually I don’t share my Sunday School lesson material online, but since this story is only a part of a much larger lesson topic, I figured I would expand on it here. If you are a teacher, and are reading this a few hours too late for you Gospel Doctrine lesson, then I’m glad – because we all need to prepare our own lessons…

We lean towards seeking out good examples and positive role models to help us learn and grow, both in our lives and in the scriptures. As we dig into the familiar story of Cain and Abel, there are many lessons that we can learn from Cain’s experience that can serve teach us, even in today’s world. The story of Cain was the world’s first, great cautionary tale.

(All of the scriptural references will be from chapter 5 of the Book of Moses, in the Pearl of Great Price. It has much more to offer than the Genesis version.)

We can all agree on one thing: Cain blew it. He was the first man on the earth to commit murder, and live in infamy.  How did he start down that path? Where did he go wrong? What led up to that fateful day where he killed his brother? First, let’s set up the stage:

• We know from Moses that Adam and Eve had other kids before Cain and Abel were born. Shocked? It’s true. (v.12)

• Many of those children had already decided to follow Satan. (v.13)

• The Holy Ghost was busy trying to reclaim those children. (v.14)

1) Cain listened to the wrong voices. He had the voices of Holy Ghost, and his parents, and probably some of his siblings who were following God in one ear, and the alternate voices – including Satan’s voice – in the other. He chose poorly. (v.16)

— Does it apply to us? Absolutely. So often we are led astray by listening to the wrong voices. Even today, many members of the church turn their backs on God’s prophets to follow the philosophies, and trends of men. (For example, the wrongful support of gay marriage.)

Elder Dallin Oaks gave a tremendous talk on this very thing back in 1989. “Alternate Voices.”

2) Cain loved Satan more than God. (v.18)  Throughout all time, God haas made it very clear that He will not play second fiddle to anyone, or anything else. “Thou shalt have no other gods before me.” (Exodus 20:3) “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God, with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thine mind. This is the first and great commandment.” (Matt 22:37-38)

— Does it apply to us? Absolutely. How God ranks in our personal priorities is not only shown by the big things we do, but also the little. This evening presents a great opportunity to make a gut check as to who we worship on the Sabbath.

3) Cain did what Satan told him to do. Cain made an offering to the Lord – it might have appeared to be the right thing to do, but he did it for the wrong reason. (v.18)

—Does it apply to us? Sometimes? I don’t know how many of my sins are because I was directly responding to Satan’s bidding, or because I am just dumb, or lazy sometimes. But we do know that Satan and his minions are, in a very real way, working on us. I also know that sometimes we do what appears to be the right thing, but for the wrong reasons.

“For behold, if a man being evil giveth a gift, he doeth it  grudgingly; wherefore it is counted unto him the same as if he had retained the gift; wherefore he is counted evil before God. And likewise also is it counted evil unto a man, if he shall pray and not with real intent of heart; yea, and it profiteth him nothing, for God receiveth none such.” (Moroni 7:8,9)

4) Cain offered the wrong thing to God. Adam and his posterity had been specifically taught that sacrifices were to be blood sacrifices of animals, as a “type” representing the future sacrifice of the Savior. Instead of following the proper protocol, Cain knowingly, and disingenuously, sacrificed vegetables, rather than an animal.  (v. 19)

— Does this apply to us? In several ways. God asks us for a sacrifice of a broken heart and a contrite spirit. (3 Ne 9:20) Sometimes, we would rather offer something else, such as empty words, or deeds. “Their lips do honor me, but have removed their hearts far from me.” (2 Ne 27:25)

Or sometimes we try to come up with our own creative substitutions.  “I don’t like to go to Church, so I will do extra service to make up for it.”  Or “I don’t like to Home Teach, so I go to the temple extra to offset.”

Of course, the Lord refused Cain’s unworthy sacrifice, which led to Cain’s next mistake:

5) Cain got angry with God. (v.21)

— Been there, done that. Suffered. Repented. Being angry at God is not a good place to be. ‘Nuff said.

6) Cain rejected an invitation to repent. Even after the sacrifice brouhaha, the Lord spoke to Cain and said, “If thou doest well, thous shalt be accepted.” A wonderful, generous, forgiving offer. He went on to warn Cain that Satan had him in his sights, and he needed to hearken unto the commandments – or else… (v.23)

— “Behold, he sendeth an invitation unto all men, for the arms of mercy are extended towards them, and he saith: Repent, and I will receive you.” (Alma 5:33)

It is tough to get “called out” by God, or one of our leaders, or a loved one. So often we take it poorly, and dig in even deeper – even to the point of turning completely away from those who are saying what we don’t want to hear – even though they are the ones that love us most of all.

“The invitation to repent is rarely a voice of chastisement but rather a loving appeal to turn around and to “re-turn” toward God.” (Elder Neal A. Anderson, “Repent, That I May Heal You.”)

But Cain did not find the love in the Lord’s call to repent. He got even more angry, and “turned off” his willingness to listen to the Lord, or to his brother Abel. What did he do next?

7) Cain found someone to commiserate with. He got married to a girl who joined him in his dangerous path – “and they loved Satan more than God. (v.28)

— Does it apply to us? Of course. When we are on the wrong path, or struggling, it is easy to surround ourselves with those who will support us in our error. It soothes the conscience, and helps us justify our wrongful behavior.

8) Cain made a deal with the devil. Never bargain with someone who is known as the Father of Lies – he will always let you down.

“…and thus we see that the devil will not support his children at the last day, but doth speedily drag them down to hell.” (Alma 30:60)

9) Cain killed his brother to get gain. And he morbidly “gloried” in it, while proclaiming his freedom. (v.31-33)  There is so many things wrong here, that I don’t need to say much. But I will say this:

— It is amazing what we can convince ourselves is justifiable when we are focused solely on ourselves.

10) Cain played dumb when confronted. When the Lord asked him what was going on, cain claimed ignorance, then immediately changed the subject. (v.34) He had the audacity to ask the Lord, “Am I my brother’s keeper?” A question so dumb, the Lord didn’t even acknowledge it, and went straight to the cursing.

11) Cain started making excuses and blaming others. What did he claim? It was Satan’s fault for tempting me, it was your fault for rejecting my offering, which made me mad. (v.38) Granted, while Cain was the first person to ever commit murder, he was not the first person to point the finger at someone else – both his parents had tried that tactic much earlier. (Moses 4:18-19)

— Even as we blame others for our problems, actions, or misfortunes, somewhere deep inside, we know that it is bogus. Elder Richard G. Scott said it this way. (And no, he didn’t use the word “bogus.”)

“Even though you publicly defend strongly your actions, privately in moments of sober contemplation you may have recognized that you are in trouble. While outwardly you may blame others for your problems, inside you may have already discovered that indulgence in violation of trust and denial of truth leads to ever-diminishing options. One backs himself ever farther into a corner. Finally there seems to be no way out, and a sense of hopelessness sets in.” (“Healing Your Damaged Life”)

From there, Cain has a miserable life, and is looking forward to a miserable eternity.

Perhaps this is more detail about Cain than you ever wanted to know, but I think it is important to see how his infamy came about.

Cain didn’t start out as a murderer. Nobody starts out as a murderer, or an adulterer, or an apostate.

Cain started out the same we all did – as a son or daughter of God who chose to follow God’s plan in the pre-existence. He had the same potential, hope, support, and agency that all of us do. But when life’s choices come – the alternate voices, the temptations, the urges of mortality – that is when we can exercise our agency to draw nearer to God, or to turn away from Him.

“Line upon line” works in both directions.