I enjoy socializing on Facebook, also known as wasting time. I have made some real friends there. But, I gotta tell you, sometimes it can get out of hand. Over the past couple of weeks I have posted some things that have triggered massive reaction – the threads sometimes exceed 500 comments. That is a LOT of opinions and discussion.
Usually, it is tons of fun, and often hilarious and/or insightful. Sometimes the conversations go in really strange directions. I transcribed this one (that may or may not have actually occurred) so you can get a taste of what it is like to be me, on Facebook:
“I like asparagus. I don’t undersand why other people don’t like it. It ‘s healthy!
- I’m right there with ya, brother.
- LUV it.
- I can’t stand the stuff.
- Just because YOU like asparagus doesn’t mean that WE have to like asparagus. I think this is rather condescending.
- I agree. It seems kind of judgmental against people who don’t like asparagus.
- I like pie.
- There are lots of terrific, healthy people out there who don’t eat asparagus. My brother for one, and he is one of the best people I know.
- Asparagus tastes like wood.
- The Word of Wisdom says NOTHING about asparagus, so who are YOU to insist that we eat it?
- Grilled asparagus wrapped in bacon is delish.
- Posts like this are why my father stopped eating vegetables completely.
- I like cake.
- If you can show me where the brethren have EVER told us to eat asparagus, I might give it a try – until then, I think you are out of line.
- Somewhere I read that President Uchtdorf loves asparagus, and he’s dreamy.
- If the asparagus is genetically modified (GMO) you are partially responsible for poisoning the world.
- I can’t afford asparagus anymore because Obama raised my insurance premium.
- You are obviously one of those “Asparagus Mormons” who have little tolerance for people who don’t think like you.
- Next you are gonna tell us that white asparagus is more spiritual.
- My kids can’t eat asparagus because it makes them hyper.
- I’ll bet Jesus wouldn’t criticize people for not eating asparagus. (Just sayin’)
- How do you know? – I’ll bet Jesus didn’t even eat asparagus.
- I’m a vegetarian, and couldn’t agree more. (about Jesus AND that it is good for you)
- If one more person tells me what I should be eating, I’m gonna loose it.
- ‘Lose’ it.
- Lose what?
- Nevermind.
- Ever been to Stockton, CA? “The Asparagus Capital of the World.”
- John Stockton was awesome. Go Jazz!
- *smh* It is like eating plywood.
- People who don’t eat asparagus shouldn’t be looked down on. Not everyone is at the same place in vegetable consumption.
- Lots of fiber. Yikes.
- If you pressure kids to eat vegetables, you are taking away their agency. Satan would make them eat it.
- I can’t sit here and read this kind of stuff. Can’t we all just not be so judgmental and love each other – no matter what we choose to eat?
- *sigh*
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*runs off to scroll through MMM’s FB page, to checkif said post actually happened, just to read the other 465 comments*
Asparagus exists to reinforce a critical gospel concept (opposition in all things) to us. And thus we see, “…that (we) may know to refuse the evil (canned asparagus) and to choose the good (fresh asparagus)… …In the season thereof… !
Um, how ironic that I kept looking for a LIKE button for some of these comments? Hilarious! Thanks for the laugh.
An entire post about Asparagus without bring up Junior Asparagus…aka the tall skinny one from Veggie Tales.
I’m so disappointed.
I was totally thinking the same thing! My favorite was when he decided that God is bigger than the boogie man. Or maybe when the grapes of wrath beaned him on the head. Can’t decide
I’m offended.
Mission accomplished.
“Asparagus Mormon” That made my day. I am still laughing. 🙂
I’m surprised nobody mentioned how it makes your pee smell weird. Then again, maybe all your Facebook readers are more discreet than I am.
I thought about it, but we like to keep this joint classy.
Classy. Riiiight…
It’s because you beat me to it Laura. Usually, I handle this kinda potty talk
Ain’t it the truth.
Laura, I was thinking the same thing. It makes your pee smell AWFUL! I guess you and I are the boldest of MMM’s commenters, since we are unafraid to speak the truth about the smelly elephant in the room! Good job!
It confuses me when people are looking to be offended. In saying, “I don’t know why people don’t like it”, you opened the door for an explanation on what it is that they don’t enjoy. I don’t like asparagus, the texture yucks me out. I think it smells like feet.
I respect your choice to post that you like asparagus. Good for you.
Please keep posting random stuff, it makes me laugh some days when I really need it. Sometimes I want to respond back to the negative but I never do. It has helped me grow and let others spew venom without jumping in the snake pit. So, I have learned more self control from those threads. Yet another service provided by MMM. Your giving never ends :)Keep up the fight!
Soooooo nailed it.
I personally find this post and the thread exceptionally hilarious!! I love the references to your other posts in it 🙂 I personally agree with you, asparagus is absolutely delish!! It is the basis of one of my fondest childhood memories growing up. It used to grow wild along the ditches near our house and we would pick it and eat it right out of the ground. I have to say I have completely corrupted 4 out of 5 of my children into loving it too :). It’s great to be you!!
Why do I feel like I’ve just been raked over the asparagus? Nice post. I LOVE asparagus, and I would eat it here or there, and I would eat it on a chair. Isn’t it fun being you? I do occasionally feel bad that you have to put up with the likes of people like me, but I figure that “somewhere in your youth or childhood,” you must have done something that merits this.
No doubt. (This was meant to be more funny than scathing…)
Yeah, believe it or not I got the funny part. 😉