It is Conference time, and people are warming up their thumbs to start tweeting. A lot of my good friends are avid Twitter fans. I, too, have a Twitter account. @MMormonMan, but I don’t use it very much.
Many of those friends enjoy tweeting during General Conference. I don’t. Nothing personal – as my grampa said, “If everyone liked the same things as I do, everybody would be chasin’ your gramma.”
I wrote my thoughts about tweeting during Conference last April, in this post: “Conference, Twitter, and Ferris,” so I won’t subject you to it here.
The thing is, I hate being left out. I feel like there is a party going on, and I don’t get to participate. I don’t like missing out. So I have come up with a solution, that will enable me to feel like part of the TwitterStake, yet still put my full attention to what is going on during Conference.
Pre-written Tweets.
That’s right. I am writing my tweets in advance, so that I can send them without having to type them into my phone, risk the hazards of autocorrect, or really even think about them. Genius? Yes. I can focus on the talks, and on taking my notes, without having to keep up with Twitter. I’ll bet there is even a way to automate the process, so I don’t even have to be involved!
To make it work better, I spent some time reviewing the tweets last April that went out during General Conference, so that I could get a feel for what was being discussed. It helped a lot. I noticed some trends, and some commonalities. Using that information, I have been able to compile a list of tweets that I can draw on at a moments notice.
Here is my list of tweets that will fit in without anyone suspecting that they were pre-written, based on my review of past Conference tweets:
• President Uchtdorf sure has great hair.
• I haven’t had that much hair since I was a teenager.
• Sure glad the choir didn’t wear the Pepto-Bismol dresses this time.
• That song makes me cry every time I hear it.
• Don’t get me wrong, but I thought it was 85 widows last year – now it’s 95? #widowcreep
• Elder Oaks is awesome!
• Elder Holland is awesome!
• Primary counselor is speaking – I’m off for snacks. #runfortheborder
• Those big chairs look comfortable
• I’m pretty sure they have cupholders in their chairs.
• I’ll bet President Uchtdorf talks about airplanes.
• He sure has great hair. I relate more to Elder Oaks.
• Elder Perry is awesome.
• Somebody paused the DVR. #catchupdude
• Did you know President Uchtdorf was a pilot?
• Elder Eyring makes me cry when he cries.
• Somebody grab the dictionary, Elder Oaks is next.
• Elder Eyring sure is tall.
• I love Victor Hugo quotes.
• Still trying to find an apostle with a beard.
• I don’t know this Seventy, but he has a great accent.
• Elder Christofferson wears sweet ties.
• I’ll bet the devil has a dartboard with President Packer’s picture on it in his game room.
• Elder Nelson is awesome!
• Elder Scott’s voice has a hypnotic quality to it. #fellasleepagain
• Is it just me, or does it seem like all the brethren are wearing the same color shirt.
• That was amazing.
• I don’t remember ever watching a better Conference.
There you go. Feel free to use any of the pre-approved tweets yourself. They will help you save time, and help you be able to pay attention better.
It’s the least I could do…
#cantwaitforsaturday
There may be harried Saints out there who NEED Elder Scott’s gentle and soothing delivery.
If you are one who tends to fall asleep during Elder Scott’s talks, you get EXTRA SPIRITUAL POINTS if you can get yourself to stay awake and alert!
When Elder Eyring’s voice cracks, my innate sense of empathy kicks in, which triggers my tear ducts and I start bawling before he even finishes his sentence.
Elder Christofferson could read a cereal box and make it interesting.
Elder Holland always gets a huge “SHHHHH!!” in our house when he starts talking.
And I thought it was just me that is hypnotized by Elder Scott’s voice…thanks for that! I love conference. It makes me feel like I am doing better than I think I am.
ha ha, good one. (this was a pre-written comment)
Clever! : )
I am with you and Jess about Elder Scott. He gives wonderful talks but I have to go back and listen to them later, because he puts me to sleep! He should be on in the morning!
Love all your Tweets. I’m not on twitter though.
Let me be perfectly clear. I love Elder Scot and he has given some of the greatest Conference talks ever. But I usually only find that out after I go back and read them again. Amazing man, amazing teachings.
What he said.
Do you have your Reese’s peanut butter cups ready?
What does the Fox say?
I agree with Chocolate’s comment! Best line! It concerns me that you do not have a “hilarious” reaction under your posts. Yes, this one is definitely clever, but the tweets made me laugh out loud!! Love it!
I’m glad I’m not the only one who falls asleep to Elder Scott! #everysingletime #whyishealwaysintheafternoonsessions?
On a slightly unrelated note, I’ve been listening to old talks, and I realized that something in President Monson’s voice changed after he became the President. Going a little further back, I’ve heard it, whatever it is, in some of Hinkley’s talks when he was the President. Anyone else notice this?
Yes.
I think Pres. Hinckley lightened up quite a bit after he became the prophet. Pres. Monson has toned it down a bit. Or maybe it’s just me.
LOL… maybe add something about how everything President Monson says sounds like it’s in meter.
The best line of this whole post is your grandpa’s!
I’m personally exited for all the memes that come out during conference. Is comforting to know there are hundreds of people with meme makers just waiting for any sentence that they can put in front of a field of lavender.
Also…
Hootsuite will let you schedule your tweets and then will automatically post them at the time you have picked.
This is hilarious and true. If I don’t see these tweets on your timeline I will be sorely disappointed. However, from someone who has been tweeting GC since before it was trendy, I just want to say it has spawned some wonderful gospel discussions with my friend’s of other faiths on twitter. My favorite was the conversation about infant baptism I had with my friend in the UK. He wasn’t even watching, but was interested in my retweets. And then the one from my friend in Germany who was watching and was so captivated by Elder Eyring that she wished she could meet him. She though he’d make a great pope.
I’ve been slacking lately but I might get back into it this year, we’ll see. It feels like the experience has been hijacked by the masses sometimes. #Immature #ItsAllGood #MMMIsAwesome
#runfortheborder……Legit LOL
I will most assuredly be using tweets related to baldness (or as I prefer to call it – the perfect hair cut). #noidontwishihadhair