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Disproportional Response

“If it is ones lot to be cast among fools, one must learn foolishness.”
The Count of Monte Cristo – Alexandre Dumas
The year: 1985
The place: BYU

I sat nervously waiting for my interview with the Bishop. I had been called by the Executive Secretary the night before, so I had already had 24 hours to stew. There was a row of chairs outside the classroom that the Bishop used as an office. I was the only one there.

The Bishop was late, adding to my nerves. I didn’t know why I was there, and the ExSec didn’t give me any clues, whatsoever. It was April, and finals were looming. I figured that they were doing some shuffling of callings for those of us that were staying through summer.
After 20 minutes, I decided to leave, figuring that something had come up. As I stood up, the Bishop came around the corner. He was hurried and apologetic. He told me that I was the only appointment for the evening, and that he hadn’t received the message until he had gotten home from work. I apologized for taking his time.

We went in the classroom, turned on the light, and pulled two chairs up to a table.  He asked me to say a word of prayer, which I did.

He then started with the questions one would expect.  “How are you?” “Are you ready for finals?” “Are you still planning on staying through the summer?”  I replied, “Fine,” “Not even close,” and “Yes.”

Then it got quiet.  He looked at me with a gentle compassion, and asked me a question I wasn’t prepared for.

“What is it that you need to talk to me about?”

I blinked. “What?”

“What’s troubling you?”

“Umm…nothing.” (I’m sure he didn’t believe me at this point, so he pressed on.)

“You know you that you can talk to me…”

“No – I’m good, but thanks.”

“Are you sure? “

“Really – I’m fine.”

“Then why did you make this appointment?”

“I didn’t make this appointment.  I thought you did.”

The Bishop sat back. “Then I don’t understand…”

The lightbulb went on for me. “I think I do. I think this is an April Fool’s joke.”

The Bishop didn’t look very amused. He just stared at me. Finally, he mustered a slight grin. “It’s not very funny. Besides, It’s April 10th. Who plays April Fool’s jokes on April 10th?”

I replied, “I have some very determined friends.”

——-

When I got back to my apartment, I still hadn’t found the humor in the prank, and was ticked. I softened as I came to learn that my roommate who set the whole thing up was aghast that the Bishop had actually shown up. Apparently the ExSec who called me did not understand the basic premise of the joke, and scheduled a real interview instead.

Young and dumb.

—–

In retrospect, it is possible that I might have deserved this retaliation. It is possible that I might have awoken this same roommate the previous Monday at 4:00am, claiming that we were driving home, and our car had broken down, leaving us stranded in the middle of nowhere. It is also possible that when he pulled out of the apartment driveway to come to our rescue, we were all standing there laughing and waving at him.  It is also possible that this all occurred on April 8th.
So, yeah, maybe I deserved it. But I still plan on getting him back.

I figure now that 33 years have passed, he’ll never see it coming.






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  1. 2 years ago, I was getting ready for work. I needed to take a shower, but my wife wouldn’t get out of the bathroom. When she opened the door, she had tears in her eyes. I asked her what was wrong. She showed me a positive pregnancy test. We had just had our 6th child 8 months previous to this. It was quite a shock. I didn’t freak out; I just started thinking of how we were going to handle another new baby. Then she told me “April Fool’s.” I was so relieved, I wasn’t even mad. PS the test was real. Her pregnant sister had helped her out. I totally bought it. I’ve never been so completely fooled.

  2. When my hubs was in grad school, I was working in a retail store across town from our apartment in the evenings while he was home with the baby. One night, I had to close, so I was walking out a little after 11pm, talking to him on the phone, and realized that our -only- car, that I had driven to work, wasn’t there.

    “The car isn’t here!”

    “You must not be seeing it”

    “There are only 6 cars in the mall parking lot! Its not here!”

    “Its got to be–no way someone stole that junk”

    “Its not here! Its not here! The buses aren’t running out here this time of night!!”

    Hubs comes speeding around the corner, laughing, baby in the back seat, rolls down the window and says, “April Fools!”

    Without amusement, I replied, “Its MARCH first, you idiot.”

    “Oh yeah” *Laughs harder*

    It is almost 9 years later, and I am still plotting my revenge.

  3. We had one pulled on us last night. We are in Hong Kong to attend he temple. Last night the hotl fire alarm went off for just a few seconds, then stopped. Fire engines almost immediately showed up. We called the front desk who said that it was a false alarm. April fools to me.

  4. OH yes, poor Bishop indeed. As if bishop’s didn’t already have a busy and stressful schedule, to be called in on a prank. Especially now that you have been a bishop, I’m sure his responses are more poignant now…

    But I think you are right….you’ll probably catch him off guard.

  5. Sometimes your titles lead me to make conclusions about the post that end up being way off base. Imagine my delight to find that your post was about pranks instead of the firestorm of last week. Ha and hallelujah!

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