Dream Killer

Last night my EC and I gathered the boys and watched the movie “Chasing Mavericks.” It was a surfing movie that came out last Fall, starring Gerard Butler. It bombed at the box office, but I admire their willingness to stick with a PG rating. I liked the movie. It had some problems, but we all enjoyed it.

I like surfing, and surfing movies. I liked the one where the shark ate the girl’s arm, and I like documentaries like “Riding Giants.” So when this came out, I knew that I’d see it.

Surfing has always fascinated me. I never got the chance as a kid, and as an adult, I never gave it a chance. Even now, when we visit the beach, I am fascinated by the whole sport. I also have a healthy respect for the power of the ocean, and how it can dramatically change lives – but that story is for another time.

The basic premise of the movie is “Karate Kid on a Surfboard” – complete with substitute father, trying to land the girlfriend, training for the event, and evil teenage antagonists. But rather than wanting to fight, the hero, Jay, wants to ride the giant 35 foot waves at Mavericks – a little known spot north of Santa Cruz, California.  He is trained by a father-like figure who has his own version of “wax-on, wax-off” to prepare the boy for the eventual face-to-face with the mighty wave.

Did I mention that this was based on the real-life story of Jay Moriarty?  Here is a picture that made Jay famous when he attempted to ride the wave (unsuccessfully) for the first time. Yes, that is really him at the top of the wave.

After a scary fall, he gets back on his board, paddles out, and catches a spectacular ride on a huge wave. Everyone is happy.  The moral of the story is laid out for us.  One reviewer said it this way: “An inspiring tale of perseverance and discipline.”

It is true. In the movie this kid pushed himself and trained for 12 weeks before his chance came.  In reality, I read that he trained for four YEARS before his trainer would let him give it a go. He succeeded in capturing his dream, and he earned it with hard-work, and dedication. Great qualities we should all strive for.

While we were basking in the glow of Jay’s apparent triumph, the movie went on to show that he went on to marry the girl of his dreams, and them died alone in the ocean while chasing another thrill in free diving.  He was only 22.

I looked at my EC, she looked at me.  We both saw that a teaching moment was in order.  And here is that teaching moment:

It is a great thing to be dedicated, to work hard, and to pursue your dreams. But only if your dreams are the right dreams.  There are stupid and irresponsible dreams out there as well that are probably really exciting – but wrong.

We talked about a hypothetical of what would happen if I decided to make surfing Mavericks my new dream in life. How would it affect our family, how it might affect my health and safety, and what the effect might be on the things that I should really be doing with my life?  The boys caught on quickly as we discussed my responsibility to be here for my EC, and for them., to provide for the family, and to serve the Lord in whatever way HE chooses for me. I easily know that for me, Chasing Mavericks, would be the wrong thing to do.

But society loves to tout the idea of “Dream Chasing” at all costs. A quick look at Facebook, Google Images, and you get the idea:

 

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There are a million quotes and little signs that say the same thing: “Never give up on your dreams.”  But there aren’t enough of them that say this:

Yes, there are right dreams, and wrong dreams to pursue. No, I am not a party-pooper, or dream killer.  I am just making the point that we have been repeatedly told by God’s servants, and will probably hear again in General Conference next month:

 My plan for me might not be the same plan that God has for me.

I am all for choosing goals wisely, and pursuing them with discipline and dedication. But I know that sometimes we go off on a wild goose chase, seeking something God might not want us to have, or to be.  And it is pervasive in our culture. So many young men, with a push from their fathers, set their sights on being a pro ballplayer – and when the time comes, they choose that dream over the one that God has  already revealed for them. It is tragic. And common. I use sports as an example because it is such an easy target – but it could be about so many things – fame, fortune, education, degrees, career goals, thrillseeking, house size, job title, neighborhood, a size 3, decor, etc.

How do we know if our goal is stupid?  Sometimes we really don’t want that question answered, so we don’t ask. We roll up our sleeves and get to work because that’s what we want – that is what we are taught.  But think for just a second: What if God disagrees, and He sees me rolling up my sleeves as an act of rebellion? We need to rely on our relationship with God to let us know if we start waling down a stupid path.  Thankfully, we have loved ones, church leaders, prophets, and most importantly, the Holy Ghost to guide us. It would be a very disconcerting feeling to show up at the Pearly Gates having sacrificed everything, including life and family, to chase a dream that God did not sanction.

Nephi prays to the Lord asking him to not place stumbling blocks in his way, and to not hedge up his way. (2 Nephi 4:33) The Lord will not always stand by and watch us tray and march down a wrong path. We have all known someone who creates a struggle, or even makes terrible sacrifices in their lives by incessantly striving for a goal that may not even be a good goal in the first place. Or, they lack the ability to let go of a dream that isn’t ever going to happen and move on without sinking into the depths of despair and self-loathing.

Personally, I don’t even need to ask God to have the Holy Ghost confirm my desire to climb Mount Everest, because I already know that it would be selfish, and stupid for me.  (Besides, I already told you my thoughts on Mount Everest last year. Link here.) However, I might want to consult the Lord as to when he wants me to serve a mission with my wife.

Call me a Dream Killer if you must, but please use the adjective, and I will gladly wear the title of “Killer of Stupid Dreams.” In the meantime, chase your good dreams with with all the energy of your soul, and I will mine!

And don’t forget to Dream Big! But check with the Boss first.  Me?  I’m dedicating the next 5 years of my life to becoming the oldest guy to ever play in the NBA. Gonna start with an entourage and some tattoos. Wish me luck!

In the meantime, here is a catchy little tune about chasing dreams that you might enjoy…