Dear Readers:
Last night I wrote a Valentine’s Day post for my EC, and left it to post this morning. During the night I had second thoughts, and have decided that I probably shouldn’t post it for several reasons:
1) It is a bit more personal and private than needs to be in the public domain – I need to let her decide if I post it or not.
2) I don’t want any ladies out there feeling cheated when they see what a fabulous husband I am.
3) I don’t want any men threatening to confiscate my Man Card for being mushy.
So, I’m going to print it out and use it as a Valentine’s card. If my EC gives the thumbs up, I’ll post it. Until then, here is a story that I LOVE that has a lot to do with real love and romance.
Love,
-MMM-
Valentine’s Bonus!
Here is a great story that has makes the rounds every now and again.
READ IT. LEARN IT. LIVE IT.
The Grapefruit Syndrome
The Grapefruit Syndrome
by Lola B. Walters (Link)
by Lola B. Walters (Link)
My husband and I had been married about two years—just long enough for me to realize that he was a normal man rather than a knight on a white charger—when I read a magazine article recommending that married couples schedule regular talks to discuss, truthfully and candidly, the habits or mannerisms they find annoying in each other. The theory was that if the partners knew of such annoyances, they could correct them before resentful feelings developed.
It made sense to me. I talked with my husband about the idea. After some hesitation, he agreed to give it a try.
As I recall, we were to name five things we found annoying, and I started off. After more than fifty years, I remember only my first complaint: grapefruit. I told him that I didn’t like the way he ate grapefruit. He peeled it and ate it like an orange! Nobody else I knew ate grapefruit like that. Could a girl be expected to spend a lifetime, and even eternity, watching her husband eat grapefruit like an orange? Although I have forgotten them, I’m sure the rest of my complaints were similar.
After I finished, it was his turn to tell the things he disliked about me. Though it has been more than half a century, I still carry a mental image of my husband’s handsome young face as he gathered his brows together in a thoughtful, puzzled frown and then looked at me with his large blue-gray eyes and said, “Well, to tell the truth, I can’t think of anything I don’t like about you, Honey.”
Gasp.
I quickly turned my back, because I didn’t know how to explain the tears that had filled my eyes and were running down my face. I had found fault with him over such trivial things as the way he ate grapefruit, while he hadn’t even noticed any of my peculiar and no doubt annoying ways.
I wish I could say that this experience completely cured me of fault finding. It didn’t. But it did make me aware early in my marriage that husbands and wives need to keep in perspective, and usually ignore, the small differences in their habits and personalities. Whenever I hear of married couples being incompatible, I always wonder if they are suffering from what I now call the Grapefruit Syndrome.
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Ok. I just totally stole your post. I knew I needed to write something to my wife today but I couldn’t get a handle on just how to approach it. Then I read this and a light went off in my head. It’s perfect for us, married 23 years. I changed almost all the words. Almost. But I totally stole your idea. Thanks.
I recently got roped into the Marriage and Family relations class for Sunday School. In lesson 5, there’s a talk from Joe J. Christensen, and he quotes this grapefruit story. He also quotes Pres. Kimball about not “pinpricking” in marriage. Good stuff. PS Lesson 4 is an amazing treatise on anger and agency by Lynn G. Robbins. I don’t think you quoted from it on your anger posts, MMM, but you should have.
Thanks for pointing out my deficiencies.
Isn’t your blog all about pointing out deficiencies?
Gee, thanks for “Raising the bar” =P how are the rest of us supposed to keep up with that?
I love the grapefruit story.
I love the weird old cupid from Tangled! When I first saw the movie and he floated up at the end I just about died laughing. Very appropriate for the day. 🙂
That was still mushy MMM
Thanks for the gentle reminder
mmmm….grapefruit…..in the form of a Fresca
Interestingly, our Valentine posts are closely related, though our sources are significantly different. 🙂