MMM Note: Mindi is one of my earliest blogging friends and mentors. (If I were a woman, I’d probably call her one of my blogging “besties,” but thanks to one different chromosome, I never have to use that term.) Mindi sporadically blogs at “Mindi’s Manic Meanderings” Thank you Mindi! Also: Sorry about the weird font sizes. Some days, Blogger hates me.
Mindi is a stay at home mom of 4 young girls. Most days are all about survival and getting to the end of the day without someone else’s mess all over her. She loves reading, running, playing with friend’s and family. If you can’t find her she’s most likely hiding in the woods.
“You have four girls?!” said with such disdain almost anytime I go in public.
I’m sure parents of all boys get it, too. And I know the person saying it is just making an attempt at friendly conversation with the frazzled stranger they see before them. I get it. And I always agreed with their disdain. Not that I don’t love my girls but you know what comes with them? DRAMA. And lots and lots of crying. I’m not kidding. It’s A LOT.
But one day when the weather started getting warmer, I found myself and my daughters on a random island out in the middle of the Great Salt Lake. I saw the elderly couple eyeing us as my kids played around and I knew it was coming..
“Aaall girls??”
And there it is.
“Yes,” I say with a smile, “all girls.”
“Oh, we had all boys. They were so much easier!”
“Yeah, that’s what I hear….”
*awkward silence*
But something changed for me that day. Because I knew (and had known this all along) that I was the luckiest mom around. Because I was blessed to be the earthly mom of four of my Heavenly Father’s choicest Daughters.
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That fateful day on a little island. The 4th girl is strapped to my back.
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I think of the responsibility I have to remind my daughters of their divine nature. That it doesn’t matter what other kids may say or how the world tells us how we are supposed to look or act, all that matters is how our Heavenly Father sees us and knows what we can become. The Family: A Proclamation to the World states: “All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny.” He gave me the sacred responsibility to raise these girls into righteous, strong women who will one day be mothers. Maybe they will raise Stripling Warriors instead of Princesses but one thing is for sure, it was no mistake that four girls came to me. I may not know what I am doing most of the time but I know He would not send them to me if He thought I’d ruin them.
I watch my young ones as they wrestle with these giant emotions trapped in little bodies and most days wish I had a stock pile of Midol that I could just slip in their morning oatmeal. But I also see the characteristics of future moms-anger at injustice (THAT’S NOT FAIR!!), knowledge of right and wrong (MOOOM! SHE KEEPS POKING ME!!!), the need to nourish and strengthen our bodies (BUT I’M STARVING!!!) just to name a few.
So, even though most days I feel like Miss Hannigan from the musical, Annie (minus the bathtub gin…maybe), I know that I have a divine purpose to help my little girls achieve theirs.
Click on these links to read more Proclamation Celebration posts
GIVEAWAY STILL IN PROGRESS!
The giveaway this week is a Dream Big Family Rules Subway Art sign from Landee on Etsy. “One of the reasons we love to create things for our homes is because our favorite people live there! We love our families and want them to be in a happy & healthy environment. We always try to create products that are positive, motivating and uplifting. Stop by our shop and find that special detail for your home that you’ve been looking for!” In addition to her etsy shop, the ever talented Landee blogs at Landee See, Landee Do, where she shares a plethora of craft and home decor ideas. You can also find Landee on Facebook and Pinterest. All those who comment on the posts this week will be entered into the giveaway.
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LOVE LOVE LOVE my 6 daughter and was terrified when I found out #7 was a boy. But that kid has worked his way deep into my heart and here’s to hoping #8 is his brother… But if not, he’s one lucky kid to have so many amazing sisters!
I had six girls, then one boy! Oh how I love them all! But boys are definitely a different breed. I remember when our son was a toddler and one of my girls asked, ” mom, where did he learn to make those noises? We don’t make noises like that! “
And a lovely family the “Lanham Hatch Family” is, as we used to be in the same ward together.
[By the way, congratulations on the recent engagement of your daughter who is BF with one of my daughters. — Bro. Gib.]
I loved reading this. My hubby is the only boy out of 7. And one of his sisters has 6 boys. Some of the comments they get make you smile. Fun times!
I won’t be of any help when they grow older and want my help in understanding the opposite sex. There’s a lot about women I even have no clue of. For example one of my son’s once asked me why all the girls have a bff. I have no idea. I have some theories, but no personal experience since I was never able to rank my friends like that. And I had a lot of male friends, since I found boys a lot easier to be with/talking to than girls.
I have two boys (no girls) and I can assure you that there’s never been lack of drama in our house. I dare say that my older son is a better at drama than most girls. They’ve also been so much work that I probably wouldn’t even handle any more kids and just can’t fathom how people do it. I’m afraid I won’t be of any help when they grow older and want my help in understanding the opposite sex. There’s a lot about women I even have no clue of. For example one of my son’s once asked me why all the girls have a bff. I have no idea. I have some theories, but no personal experience since I was never able to rank my friends like that. And I had a lot of male friends, since I found boys a lot easier to be with/talking to than girls.
I have 3 girls that ALL lean to the amazon warrior side. Needless to say it is LOUD in my house because they are all drama queens and type A personalities. They can also wrestle better than most teenage boys their age (did I mention they were teenagers?), don’t mind getting dirty playing outside, debate a passionate issue like they were lawyers for Capone (they can rip a pin hole in your case to the size of a tire), and the oldest (16) can change brakes on a car and change the oil too. That just tears me up with pride. I wouldn’t have them any other way and am very proud of the strong girls they are. It is a hard balance these days to teach girls to be strong yet compassionate. Be loving but don’t be a doormat. Don’t be looking for a relationship at your age when society does not blink at 15 year olds being pregnant. I think (and this is just my personal opinion) that with the degration of society these days, that girls are more difficult to raise just because of how warped views are for girls. Dressing sexy as a teenager, having loose morals, giving into pressure to do things they think are wrong. Too much of that is acceptable. On the flip side I give kudos to those parents that can raise boys to be real men with loving and compassionate attitudes. Society is sadly lacking in expecting that from men anymore. They make it too exceptable to just walk away from family and responsibilities. It saddens me. But some wisdom that I was told that I hold dear to my heart and have to keep telling myself like a mantra at time is “The lord will give you nothing that you can’t handle”. So I take that to heart and teach them the best that I can.
We have five girls and four boys. From easiest to toughest I would rank them Boy, Girl, Girl, Girl, Girl, Girl, Boy, Boy, Boy.
By the way, there is a family in our ward with 7 girls and my sister-in-law’s blended family consisted of 7 girls until finally a boy was added!
It’s interesting that people always feel the need to comment on our families. I have 11 children. Yes, 11. You should see people’s faces when they ask how many children I have. We have been so blessed to have been given the privilege of raising a combination of birth and adopted children. These 11 do not include the many foster children we have had in our home. Some of my children are now grown with children or their own, one is in college, one is on a mission and I still have others living at home. People just shake their heads and think we are crazy. I just shake my head and know that I am blessed!
Thanks for thoughts and how to cherish Heavenly Fathers plan as one who doesn’t have children yet and because I’ve been married seven years I get the questions and comments of ‘well you better get busy adding to your family. I have struggled but am coming to terms with heavenly Fathers plan for mine and any children he brings into my family.
If I could play any character in a play it be Miss Hannigan! I feel like her everyday. Plus, I’d love to pretend to be a complete drunk whilst singing and dancing about the stage. FUN! I have 3 girls and one boy. They are the apples of my eyeballs.
I have 4 children and I find it difficult sometimes to deal with them all in public on my own. It doesn’t stop me from doing it though. They have to learn how to behave. I do find it sad the looks one with so many kids can get sometimes. I have never understood why some people think other people’s children should behave perfectly at all times. I really try my best though to use any opportunity I have as a teaching moment for my kids. I also love when I am out with just my 2 little ones when the big kids are at school. When people find out I have 2 more they always act so shocked. I never happen to mention that I want more either, it might just kill them.
I have 1 boy and 2 girls. And I hate going to the grocery store with them. I am usually tired and grumpy and wishing I could just do this later when they are at home…or that I could hire a babysitter while I do the shopping. And then I remember that they need to learn how to behave and that they are my greatest blessing. I love them and they need me to show them that I love them. So I have been trying to be more positive and wear a smile even when I am frustrated, because they are mine and I love being with them!
There is a lot of crying with our two girls. It’s given me many opportunities to refine my own weaknesses and help them understand and work through their emotions. I sometimes hope for a respite before the teenage years, but it’s not looking likely!
With four boys I get many similar comments… always followed by “you must be busy.” It gets a little tiring… but I feel the same as you… there is no mistake that I got 4 boys (after growing up in a family of 4 girls!). And it sure may be busy but I love it.
I grew up in a Brady Bunch 3 & 3, I have 6 sons. When people say oh, bless you, I say I already am.
Love Mindi! I only have one girl (and two boys) and yes that one girl brings a lot of drama, but life wouldn’t be the same without her
Great post!!! Thank you for your thoughts. I am the big sister with two brothers and a sister, so my family is 1/2 and 1/2. 🙂
Mindi, you’ve got to go here:
http://www.greenwichworkshopgallery.com/JC06.html
and celebrate the strength of our Young Women. They are awesome and you are lucky!
That poster/painting is really cool! Thanks for the link!
Love it! Personally, I think girls are easier, but I don’t have kids yet, and I get more babysitting jobs for boys than girls, so I don’t really know.
I have both, and there are pluses and minuses to each. The one disadvantage I see with boys in this world is pornography. It’s such a scary thing, so easily accessible, and so addicting. Girls don’t seem to struggle with it nearly as much as the boys. Having had my marriage ruined in large part due to my husband’s pornography issues, I am so worried about my boys and spend so much time and effort trying to keep it away from my boys, who have already had issues with it. In that way, I wish I did have a house full of girls.
Thank you for this post. I have two boys (yes, only two). People often tell me I have to try for a girl. Our friends ended up with 5 girls. Two boys is plenty for us, thank you. Even then I often need the line, “He would not send them to me if He thought I’d ruin them.”
As a tomboy, I expected to have boys. My husband and I joked that w were going to have 8 strapping boys. We only got one boy…. followed by 4 girls. Honestly, I was relieved when baby #5 was another girl. I love all my children and they are all incredibly different. I love having 4 girls, and I love my boy. I guess Heavenly Father really does know what He’s doing! Loved the perspective on this post. I need to remember why I am raising my girls and keep the eternal perspective.
I think this is such an interesting phenomena. We had a girl first so everyone expected us to want a boy. We had a boy second. Then we had a girl third and people started giving us the ‘talk’ about how babies happen. When our 4th child was born (a boy) everyone was sure we were done with ‘2 of each’. They suddenly all felt our marital relations were fair game for conversation, so my answer changed from “Yes, we know how that happens.” to “We’re really great at it, do you need some tips?” Mmmhmm.
Then we went on to have baby #5, the boy that broke the GBGB pattern. Baby #6 was another boy. Baby #7 was a boy who also has serious medical issues. As of today the kids are 11, 7, 6, 4, 3, 1, and 8 mos. Believe it or not there are STILL people who think it’s their business to ask us about our family planning! Now they try to hide it behind “You’ve had a child with disabilities, so you’re never going to have another child are you? That would be so risky/hard/crazy.”
And we get a lot of “You’ve got five boys? Those poor girls are so outnumbered.” We’re grateful for each and every one. If Heavenly Father blesses us with more children we will be thrilled. If we’re done that’s wonderful too! We have seven amazing spirits enriching our lives and teaching us lessons that we would never learn without them. We’re better people because we have these children.
Appreciate the perspective and reminder of joys and blessings to be mom of girls.
Great Post Mindi!! As the mom of 8 boys….I am really, really grateful someone is raising righteous girls!! Someday some of them may join our family 🙂 (As a side note, we also have one daughter…she is magnificent! But most days I am very glad Heavenly Father knew me well enough to only send one 🙂 Good job! Keep up the great work!
Love your post Jaymi….I am the mom of the Holy Moly 6 girls and it has been much better than just 4. Sorry Mindi. I dont know what I’d even done with a boy. My grandsons are great but they are a whole different picnic.
Love it. I grew up with five sisters and we always got the “Holy Moly 6 Girls” They are my best friends! (Now). I have one of Heavenly Fathers Choice Princesses, She is 10 I’ll be calling you Mindi for advice. Because 10 is hard. Can’t wait until, 11…12…13…14…….Yah, I think I’m going to need some of that. bathtub gin.
I’ll make you some! haha
Would you maybe like to have a boy? I have a 4 year old, goin’ cheap. I bet your girls would love a little brother.
Can you tell I have not had the best week ever? I’ve only got the one kid and I can barely parent him most days. Gah. Thanks for this post though. I really needed it.
hahahah! Thanks but I’m good! 😉
I’m a mom to 4 stripling warriors…and am blessed as well. Thank you for your message.
“Lucky me! Lucky me! Look at what I’m drippin’ in…” 😀 Thanks for the great post…and for putting that SONG in my HEAD! (It’ll be there the WHOLE DAY now!)
We have one daughter, the oldest, and then four sons. All the time she was growing up she’d whine about being born in the wrong family. I’d remind her that HF doesn’t make mistakes and she’d be grateful someday. Someday is here and she is truly grateful. She joined the Air Force where women are in the minority. She is so glad she was raised with boys and knows how to talk to them, how they think, what they’re like, etc. She’d rather be around males than females, who, according to her are whiny, backstabbing brats! She is my best girl friend and I love to be with her and have adventures together. I love our four sons too, each one unique in some ways, so alike in others. Family life is simply the best way to grow. I like to say that everything I’ve learned about HF comes from my experiences parenting. Also, I’m glad that other families have lots of girls, I’ve been wondering where our boys were going to find wives.
Love this! We just had out fourth and final baby – after three girls, we got a boy. We were going to be done no matter what and a snooty part of me wanted another girl just to avoid the “So are you waiting for a boy?” Thanks for the reminder than we moms have been given the most awesome jobs and such huge responsibilities to raise our Heavenly Father’s children!
We always told our first daughter that she was our reward for our surviving her three older brothers. As a dad, I’ve found my three daughters to be fabulous and my boys to be challenging. That said, the girls have all gone through “I’m not talking to Mom!” phases which made my lovely wife and me glad we come as a matched set. And our boys preferred to talk to Mom in their adolescent years.
My youngest son is certainly blessed for having two older sisters. (I wish he would shower some of those blessings on his younger sister, but that doesn’t seem to be in the cards.)
Strangers’ questions about number of kids, gender of kids, etc… Gotta love ’em. The “isn’t is great?” response is one we’ve used, too. 🙂
Funny that you said your boys referred to talk to your wife as adolescents. I always hoped that a blessing of having all boys would be that they would go to their dad for the sex questions and I wouldn’t have to deal with it. Not so, they have all come to me. What’s up with that?
I don’t know, but I was the same with my mom. She was one of my best friends when I was younger. I was the last of four kids, and so I had her to myself for two years after my next-up sister graduated high school.
I think some boys shun Dad during that breaking-out-on-their own period as if it’s one way to assert their independence.
My role as “interpreter” for my daughters was short-lived (middle school years mostly); I guess they figured out pretty quickly that Mom was smarter than Dad after all…
As a father of 7 (GGGGBGG), I can tell you that I would not trade any of them, or wish any of them were a different gender. All of them are individuals, and each of them have their own personalities.
In my family growing up it was 5 boys and 5 girls- so the incredulous comments were more along the lines of, “There are TEN children in your family?!” I doubt my mom would say one sex was easier than the other. We’ve all given her gray hairs!
When I started having kids I didn’t want a boy. I had no idea what I’d do with a boy. I understood girls, I knew how girls thought process go. Well, sure enough I got a boy. But after thinking about it for a bit, I realized, I get to help raise a boy and teach him to be a grow up to be a great guy and a great husband for some little girl out there.
I know have two girls also and everything is the way it should be. My son and one daughter are 18 1/2 months apart and I really think they balance each other out. I have the cuddly son and a tom boy daughter. We are trying for a fourth and am ready to have whatever wonderful child comes into our lives.
P.S. My husband grew up with a family of only 5 boys (plus his dad didn’t have a sister). That family dynamic is so different from mine (which is 4 girls and one boy). And now he has 7 granddaughters and only 2 grandsons. And he LOVES every one of those granddaughters even though he (jokingly) says if you aren’t having boys you’re not doing it right.
And I should add that even though I was really hoping for a daughter with my first child, it only took a second after I heard “It’s a boy” to love having him instead.
My Doc told us that you might know what you want (boy or girl), but once that baby is put in your arms you wouldn’t trade it for the world.
True words.
I have all boys (five of them) and I get a lot of sympathetic looks from people. I love it! Do I understand their need to wrestle and jump on furniture and take everything apart? Nope! But I remember myself as a teen and that makes me grateful for my boys! 😉
When people find out I have all boys they tell me to be grateful that I will never have to pay for a wedding. To which I reply, “Yes, but I have to feed them through the teen years!” I’m beginning to think that a wedding would be cheaper.
I have two boys plus my husband. I eat less than my 18 month old boy! and ny husband just laughs and says its just going to get worse. ugh!
I have 7 wonderful sons and finally one perfect daughter. (There are rewards for persistence). Was she easier? no, just came with different qualities. Any and all children are a challenge and it’s up to us to follow “the plan” as best we can, then sit back and watch them raise their own, hopefully following “the plan”.
Amen!
We have four girls. I wouldn’t have it any other way!
Before the last one was born, I asked my wife if she knew the odds of having four girls in a row. “At this point,” I told her, “it is 50-50!”
I grew up with 3 older sisters and 1 little brother. Trust me we were all pretty dramatic but we survived just fine. I never understood why my little brother would get all this pity when people found out he was the only boy. I swear we only dressed him up as a girl twice!
So funny!
I get the same reaction, with a twist. I have 3 boys and people always lament the lack of a daughter for me. I ALWAYS tell them I love my boys and would never trade them.
I love this post. I discovered that I am raising worthy (hopefully) priesthood holders who love and honor women. What better blessing could I ask for?! Thank you for sharing.
I gotta agree with you. I love my girls. I wouldn’t mind a boy but the antics of cute little princesses who are learning and growing an developing just keep me so entertained and grateful to be a mom. I wouldn’t trade the drama for anything.
Ohh! I could have written this post! We have 8 daughters…you are half way there! It is great, we love it. My only pet peeve is how everyone instantly feels sorry for my husband. He is pampered! The teenage years are highly under-rated. We LOVE the teenage years. That for us has been the funnest stage. Great post.
You are my hero!! I’m actually looking forward to the teen years!
I totally agree about the teen years. They have been the best!
And yes, my husband is totally pampered too. He completely agrees with President Hinckley’s remark, “As a father, do I love my daughters less than I love my sons? No. If I am guilty of any imbalance, it is in favor of my girls. I have said that when a man gets old he had better have daughters about him. They are so kind and good and thoughtful.”
Our first six children are girls. We used to get the same type of comments all the time! All girls?! To which I would reply, “Isn’t is fabulous?” That always threw them for a loop. I wanted my girls to hear me say how wonderful we thought it was to have all daughters, because it was truly wonderful.
And for what it’s worth, now we have two sons {and another daughter} and I think girls are way easier!
I love it! That is my new response!!
I always said, “yep, the only thing that would be better than four girls would be five!” Then I had a boy. Lol.
Now people say “so you finally got your boy.” sorry, but all those girls weren’t second best attempts at getting a boy. Each one is a child of God and greatly wanted as she is.
I don’t know if girls or boys are easier. I had one really easy girl, and four boys – all of whom are strikingly different.
But it is pretty obvious that when girls/boys become women/men, women are much, much, much more difficult.
Oh, no you di’int!
Apparently, I did.
And that’s just sad.
I don’t see it as happy or sad. Just a statement of fact.
So, you are saying that your adult daughter and your wife are more difficult than you?
Of course! (Love you dear!)
lol
Cheryl, I hate generalizations about gender too. I think it has much more to do with each child’s personality. That being said, my three girls all have much more easygoing, obedient personalities than my three boys. Coincidence? I guess so. But my husband insists that he would only have another child if he could be sure it’s a girl.
P.S. Clarification: I hate it when people generalize that one gender is easier than another, because it will always depend on the child and on the parent.
I laughed because I have 2 girls and 4 boys and for us, the girls were MUCH easier! I hate it when people claim one gender is easier than the other, honestly, because both come with their own sets of challenges and joys, not to mention the fact that each child (regardless of gender) will also come with their own unique personalities that can try any parent. I love that you said you were given these girls on purpose, because I also firmly believe that children are sent to certain parents, too.
Great post!
Exactly! I have experience with both, and I just think they all come to the earth as themselves, some parts easy, some parts hard. You said it perfectly, Cheryl. 🙂
Great article, Mindi!
Two older girls, three younger boys. We’re glad it worked out this way – if we’d had the boys first, we probably would have stopped. Thanks for the post.
OOh, what strong women you are raising, I’m sure!
This one is a keeper! I have one of each – if they were animals the oldest would be a cougar and the youngest a wolf. Two Type-A personalities in an itty bitty home. There were days when I wished I was an ostrich and could bury my head in the sand …. but that leaves a very vulnerable body part exposed! KUDOS to raising 4 girls!