Last week we played a game called 3 Truths and a Lie. Today I will reveal the lie. Drumroll please…
Wait! Before I do, I would like to mention a couple of things:
A) Mother’s Day was great. My EC is the best Mom EVER.
B) I thought my Mother’s Day post bordered on pure genius, but hardly anybody else did. Hopefully you were all just busy enjoying Mother’s Day. (To those that liked it, thank you. Especially Daisie for trying to use it in her sacrament meeting talk – you are my hero.)
C) Here are the statements in review:
1. I was once bitten by a lion in Africa, as my Zulu guide just stood and watched. I survived.
2. I live in Utah. I have survived.
3. I was once trapped in an ancient temple in Bangkok, and rescued by a Buddhist monk. Survived that too.
4. I am not at all famous. If you learned my name, you would not recognize it.
D) Here are the results (Composite of both polls)
47% – Lion
26% – Bangkok
14% – Utah
13% – Famous
86% of you got it wrong… Everybody went with the idea that the crazy stuff must be false. Oops!
I was once bitten by a lion lion Africa. TRUE
I was once trapped in an ancient Buddhist temple. TRUE
I am not famous. TRUE
Which means….DRUMROLL PLEASE!
I don’t live in Utah. (Well that was a little anti-climactic, wasn’t it?)
You may ask, “Why MMM? Why would you reveal such an important part of your non-identity to the public?” Here’s why: Every now and again I get a comment or email that suggests that since I live in Utah, I have a very limited view of the world, the church and its culture – or other such nonsense. This should be especially insulting to the twenty or so people from Utah that do not have a limited world view.
However, I was raised in the “shadows of the everlasting hills”. I grew up in Utah, I lived there for almost half my life. But I don’t anymore. I have family and friends there, and visit often to see kids at school, go to conference, etc. I LOVE Utah. I have relatives there – my heritage is there. I love the mountains, the snow, the fry sauce, and scones. Utah excels at creating wonderful unhealthy things to eat. I love seeing white steeples dot the landscape, and I love me my Cougars.
But the Church is not just a Utah church, and we need to get better at communicating this to the world. When I am making observations on Mormon culture, it is through MY personal prism of having lived both in and out of Utah. My experiences are different than yours – but don’t try and diminish my thoughts by asserting that I would know better if I just got away from the Wasatch Front. That is why I spilled the beans. (A couple of beans)
So, there you go… If you guessed right, congratulations!
Have a great Monday!
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I’m proud to be one of the 14%. I always pegged you as a So. Cal. guy for some reason. I happen to live in the northern part of that failed state…but I won’t go into THAT.
BTW…I am speaking on Father’s day in Sacrament mtg. Got a little bone or joke you want to throw my way?
My mother was raised in the beautiful Cache Valley, a little town called Garland. We went “home” there every chance she got. I forget that the state is really called UTAH, we affectionately (and a bit resentfully for all the lost vacations) call it “Mecca”.
Even though Mom is gone I still turn Eastward three times a day to pay homage.
So you actually did travel to watch the Jazz play!
Nope. I just walked past the TV one evening as my son was watching a Jazz game. That’s about as close to watching a Jazz game as I get.
I never voted, but my guess was that you didn’t live in Utah. Although, I think I assumed you did at one point. I’ll leave it at that. I’m afraid if I share my thoughts on Utah it won’t be well received by someone. I will say I’ve never been to Utah and I have always wanted to go! Hopefully sometime soon we can make it out there!
You know Alma. There is no secrecy there. He is who he is. You may be a 16 year old girl, or a 80 year old man, or a single 30 year old. All those identities would be fine, but may not be who you represent.
My husband is known for saying, “If someone flaunts being anonymous, they have something to hide.” Maybe it’s just the detective in him.
I read the 2 posts you mentioned. Thank you for those.
Perhaps this is all about protecting your family in some way. In that case, I understand and respect you for doing what you feel you should do.
As for me, maybe it will just take some time to develop trust in posts written by an unknown human who lives in an unknown place or culture.
Thanks for expressing your opinions. You know, there is no pressure to embrace me or what I write – especially if it makes you uncomfortable.
But, for what it’s worth, while I do not disclose ALL of my truth regarding my life, everything I DO disclose is true. So the classic internet paranoia that I am a 16 year old girl, or an 80 year old man is misplaced.
Hope to see you following…
Thank you for not giving up on me.
And no, I am not uncomfortable with what you write. I love it for the most part. You are a captivating writer. I just get frustrated when you write something so totally wonderful and I can’t share it with others. But that’s my problem.
I am relatively new here and even at that, I don’t read every post, so maybe you have addressed this before… but I don’t understand why you go to such great lengths to be anonymous. I thought we are suppose to let our light shine, not hide it. I think what you share here would have much greater meaning if it wasn’t done in such secrecy. A few times I have thought of passing along some of your great posts…like the advice you gave your engaged son…but then I think who is going to take seriously what is written with no name or responsibility attached. You seem to have such a strong testimony. Just my thoughts here, and I mean no offense at all.
No offense taken! I am a little confused at why you don’t read al my posts…
I don’t really go to great lengths to remain anonymous – I just don’t go to any lengths to NOT be anonymous. As a blogger, I want people to read because of what I write – not who I am. I ran a poll las year asking what my readers thought – it was a tie.
Here are the posts that address it:
http://middle-agedmormonman.blogspot.com/2011/09/to-be-me-or-not-to-be-me-that-is.html
http://middle-agedmormonman.blogspot.com/2011/09/he-who-must-not-be-named.html
Now I get to ask you a question: If found out that my name was “Tom” and I was from “Orlando”, would it change the validity of what I write? Would you take it more seriously if I added the words “Steve” from “Calgary” on each post?
The point is, truth is truth, and funny is funny. I read things all the time that are written by people that may as well be nameless to me. In fact, I spent the morning reading Alma – I’ve never met him, and I don’t even know his last name.
—If any readers want to chime in here – feel free!
Wow, I was totally wrong. It was “the everlasting hills” comment AND the fact that you go to conference & etc. that totally threw me. I started getting excited that you’re famous. I thought, “Wow, could MMM really be Uchtdorf?!?” LOL Let me say that you have totally shattered my MMM world. I really have to re-group now. NOT in Utah? BTW, I LOVED your list of why you love Utah–it is my list exactly!! Right down to the Cougs. And the fry sauce. And all the other unhealthy & delicious food–one of the main things I do when I go back to visit family is EAT at restaurants.
But especially the Cougs.
JWW
NOT FROM UTAH??? I feel to disillusioned and misled. I don’t know if I can continue to read your writings…
😀
GO COUGARS! Roar
Wha? Red in the face!
I guessed it right. 🙂 But I didn’t vote so maybe it doesn’t count.
I never set foot in Utah until I came out for BYU. I remember being a teenager (in Ohio that year) and a family moving into the ward from Utah. It was the first time I heard the term “Utah Mormon” and people definitely didn’t use it nicely. Still strange to me.
Mesa? You mean Utah Jr? Don’t hit me, I grew up there And I’ve lived in Utah, it really isn’t much different. Just hotter.
I live in California, where conservatives are illegal lol. We have to fly under the radar and we make “compound” jokes a lot.
Mesa is nice, too. I landed here after living in several other states after having a great childhood in Utah. It was just time to be closer to family (many had trickled down from Utah), so I moved to Arizona.
Phoenix was my home for the first few years I was here (NOT Utah Junior). And then I met my Arizona Hubby in the singles ward. We happily live in Mesa because he has a two-mile commute to work. We will probably stay in Hot Land forever.
Something must be said for not having to scrape ice off my windshield in the winter. And I love that my year-round uniform is shorts and flip-flops.
No ice scraping? That is tempting. I have a friend that tells me, “You ever have to shovel heat!”
Hubby guessed that you live in Colorado, where we plan to have our Escape-The-Summer-Heat home someday.
HMMMMM . . . I can’t remember if I even made a guess on your original post . . . I guess if I cannot remember, I wasn’t too committed to it . . .
I really do not get the Utah bashing by members who live elsewhere OR the ELSEWHERE bashing by members who live in Utah . . . Get over yourselves, everybody . . . LOL . . . If the church is true (and I DO believe with all my heart that it is) then it will work to live it anywhere . . . Your experiences may vary, but there are good, committed, devout members (and some incredible pompous flakes) EVERYWHERE . . . absolutely EVERYWHERE . . .
Anyhow, I, personally REALLY loved your mother’s day coupons, but I was too busy living my life ‘real’ time to read it til this morning . . . Sorry you felt unappreciated. Your insights are thought provoking and your droll sense of humor hilarious . . .
Vegas has a great LDS population – but I didn’t know that sinful people worked at Disney World ! How horrific!
But I guess it makes sense – sinful people work at the Church Office Building, all of the Temples, and at my very own desk. (Maybe Sister Gasbag didn’t realize that!)
thank you for sharing your view of the church today. I grew up in Oregon and now currently in Utah for a short while before moving to Vegas. I have felt discrimitated to a degree by my current ward. They are always saying that people outside Utah are hateful people, or “Out in the mission field,” or that moving away from Utah and to sin city is a bad choice for me and my new husband. I don’t know if they realize that Las Vegas was settled by mormons and does have a population. (Even though a small mormon population means nothing to me. I grew up in that and I survived)
Once upon a time, I was brand new in my ward and a lady asked me about some of my past and what led me to my husband. The first thing my husband and I had in common was the fact that we both participated in the Disney College Program where we lived and worked at Walt Disney World. This woman all of a sudden had a bad taste in her mouth and told me that she couldn’t understand why I would ever do that because sinful people lived there. My comment for her was that while I was there, I was a missionary. My Disney nametag had my name and “Brigham Young University.” coworkers and guests would ask me questions about the church all of the time. I planted many seads, but I also brought one person to baptism. The Lord wanted me there and I followed that prompting. I would never change that.
It is true that the church is not just a Utah church. I grew up in Oregon, I know the church is true, I am trying to become closer to Christ every day, and I am proud of that.
So….. now that we know which statements are true, will you please tell us the stories behind them???? I’m dying to hear them. 😉
~Larkin
One day. One of the stories is only good if yo know my name. Be patient.
Are you Indiana Jones?
I don’t get the whole Utah bias thing. I grew up in Seattle, lived in San Diego, and am now in Orem. I’ve found attitudes within the Church to be very similar in all three places.
How about those of us who grew up outside of Utah but live here now? How does our worldview get rated I wonder?
Thank you so much for these words MMM. Having heard Utah Mormons spoken of disparagingly all my life, I have to say that I was shocked and dismayed to find myself living here. 30 years later, I wouldn’t trade it for anything, for a million different reasons.
And, just to add a note of controversy, while the rest of the world still deems it acceptable to have a prejudice against Mormons, I find it interesting that members of the church who live outside of Utah still deem it acceptable to have a prejudice against members who live in Utah. I have also observed that other Utahns deem it acceptable to have a prejudice against those of us who live in Utah county.
Since I fit all 3 of those categories, yes, I may be just a little sensitive on this subject! As you’ve pointed out, we in the church still have a little hierarchy thing going. A Rameumptom (or however you spell it)comes to mind.
Amen, momJulee. I’ve lived in and out of Utah, and known Mormons in and out of Utah. Some are great, some are…not… but we’re all just people. 🙂
I’m with you! I was raised back in the southeast, and Utah was a place for vacation and school — you didn’t REALLY live here.
Now, I do live here, happily, for 15 years. We were in the military and have literally lived all over the world, and we CHOOSE to live here.
Well, I know you couldn’t possibly be in Winnemucca, NV. No one here fits the description. Besides, I don’t think this small town would be able to handle TWO bloggers!
I’m guessing you must live somewhere in the West to be able to visit Utah so often…although you did have that pizza post mentioning PA.
See how clever you are?! Because everyone knows that no airlines fly into Utah, and PA pizza is only consumed by PA’ers.
Haha…Still chortling about using smaller words for the Utes!! Go COUGS!!! And Go Non-Utah-Dwellers (such as myself)!
Sometimes I still use big words – I just type them slower.
MMM, as one of the 20 or so Utahns who do not have a limited world view, I choose not to be offended by this post or by Captain Micah’s comments. When I’m walking the 200 yards to Church on Sunday, I’ll think of you both 🙂
200 yards to church? That hurts. Nicely played.
Don’t have to live in Utah to only walk 200 yards to church. Just gotta live in the right neighborhood!
Bwaahahaa! My church is closer than that! Oh, man I’m lucky!
Utah is a great place. But I like living elsewhere more.
Ok, then when I’m driving 10 minutes to the temple or 15 minutes to temple square, I’ll think of you.
Careful Vatermann – I can hear her pulling out her killer weapon:
“When I’m flying in my plane – anywhere I feel like going – I’ll think of you”
I thought your post with the Mother’s Day coupons was awesome. My husband was out shopping for Mother’s Day at 8 pm Saturday night. He texted me at 9:30 saying shopping for Mother’s Day is hard. I almost texted him back saying it’s only hard when you wait until the last minute.
I got it right! Woohoo!
I, like you, grew up in Utah. It was a great place to grow up, but I am happy to live somewhere else now. And I hope to never live in Utah again. 🙂
Sheesh. Now I wonder if you live near me in Mesa, Arizona!
How on earth is this anti climactic?? I’m actually glad that the Utah one is the lie mainly because the other’s sound so cool!
DAng! I should’ve read closer…I thought it said that you “have lived” in Utah. I get those kinds of comments too…”well, you live in Utah, so you can’t possibly understand.”…UH, how many times have I said that I live in Pennsylvania…THE GREAT STATE OF PENNSYLVANIA!!! 🙂
Yep. You and Punxsutawney Phil.
What, no prize for the winners? Meh.
So do we get the stories about the others? Specifically the lion and the temple. Not much of a story about not being famous. No offense.
All in due time.
None taken.
Crystal beat me to it. I want to hear the true stories! : )
A cougar fan? that is not right. go Utes. 🙂
See! That is exactly the reason why I need to keep my private life private. I reveal a tiny aspect of my life – and boom! Someone is throwing it my face. From a Ute no less. Why do I bother. Besides, If I find out there are a lot of UofU loyalists in my readership, I’m going to have to start using smaller words.
HEY! Don’t criticize the prophet’s school! Look up the stats, brother. More Utes than cougars!