Shawn really nailed this topic, and the reason it was so funny is that we all recognize what he was saying from our regular church attendance. My friend that first sent me the link was one of my counselors in the bishopric. We went to lunch last week, and while we were talking about the video, he pointed out something that I had noticed:
Shawn missed one. Probably the one that bothered my friend and I the most – enough that I decided to go back and add it. Here it is…
“Brother’s and sisters. I am glad to be speaking to you today. When the Bishop called me on Friday night to ask me to speak…”
There it is: The Time Stamp. It happens constantly.
“The Bishop asked me to speak on Thursday night.”
“Bro. Counselor asked me to speak on Wednesday.”
“He got me on my cellphone on Saturday morning.”
I have to admit that one of the reasons the Time Stamp bothered me and my counselors was that it could be embarrassing. Yes, every now and again, speakers only had a day or two to prepare because we had just forgotten to make the call. Oops! Nobody likes to be called out in public when they mess up.
But what is the point of the Time Stamp? Why even go there? I’ve thought a lot about it, and here are a few unspoken reasons.
1) Shifting the Blame: It isn’t really my fault if this talk is terrible – I just got asked on Friday – so it’s the bishop’s fault if I do a bad job. (Immediate assumption: I’m bracing myself for a bad talk)
2) I Shall Overcome: Yes, if this talk was good, it was good because I was able to pull it together on short notice – because that’s how good I am. (Immediate assumption: Bad talk coming, but you might change my mind)
3) Some Leaders are Sent to Try Us. I am willing to speak, but need to point out that the bishopric is inept because they gave me so little warning. (Immediate assumption: That is so unfair – It’s OK if your talk stinks.)
4) I’m So Funny. I needed to start with a joke, and this is all I could come up with – embarrass the Bishop. (Immediate assumption: That’s all you got?)
Whenever you hear someone use the Time Stamp, you will see the bishopric smile and nod, or shrug their shoulders, because it isn’t really that important – or because they know more than the speaker knows.
Sometimes the call comes late in the week because…
…someone cancelled at the very last minute, due to illness or other personal problems.
…the bishopric has been waiting for inspiration as to who to call to speak on a specific topic.
And what the Time Stamp speaker seems to forget is that the bishop would not call you on Saturday afternoon for a Sunday talk UNLESS HE TRUSTS YOU AND BELIEVES YOU CAN DO IT. I had a handful of sisters and brothers in the ward that I knew I could count up to the very last minute, and sometimes I would call on them – and they would step up and deliver. I cherished them.
So why dump on the leaders for a laugh? Lose the Time Stamp. Let it go. Give the best talk you can, and know that you don’t know all the reasons as to why, or when, you were asked to speak.
– I am curious to hear the opinions of brethren who have had the task of assigning talks. –
(That sure wasn’t as funny as Shawn Rapier)
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Just thought I’d chime in since my husband is responsible for handing out talk assignments. He is Ward Exec Sec. The bishopric DO plan carefully and choose topics and speakers at least two weeks in advance. My husband calls those people, two weeks before. A LOT of people say no. He has to then email the bishopric and tell them they all said no, they give him a fresh lot of people to try, and he starts making phonecalls again. And so on. So it is not necessarily the bishoprics fault that there are lots of last minute assignments. At least he draws the fire away from the bishopric though, because he is the one that people make “jokes” about on the stand.
I have found that there are a lot less refusals if the bishop or a counselor do the asking…
If someone in our ward only gets a week to prepare, it is probably because we spent the week before that playing phone tag.
I meant to comment on the first ‘How not to start a talk’, but didn’t, so will do it now. One start that was omitted is one that drives me crazy: “I’ve been asked to speak on…”, or “The subject of my talk is…”. If the talk is well presented, it should be obvious what the subject is, and so, stating it as a lead-in, is redundant.
Just my opinion, I guess.
My husband was recently in the bishopric and realized that they were always giving less than a week’s notice! He was sick of the “timestamp” so he came up with a plan. They then started giving people at least 2 weeks notice… that way if a speaker backed out they just asked the next week’s speaker to do it. Worked out pretty nicely most of the time!
You forgot to mention the dreadful, ” Jeez thanks Brother/Sister so and so for leaving me only 5 minutes to talk.” or “Wow thanks for leaving me 30 minutes to talk.” I hate when people do that, it gets old. Hahahaha we get it, we can see the clock ourselves. And why can’t members understand it’s a talk not an hour speach!
Excellent points today and in the previous post. We have all heard them, and perhaps, used these introductions when we speak or teach.
Something we need to remember is that we are there to teach and edify, not entertain, make excuses, make ourselves look like heroes, etc.
Any time that we take using these cliche intros, time stamps, humor that has nothing to do with the subject, etc., we are taking away from precious time we should be teaching and edifying. We are essentially, wasting the Lord’s time when we resort to the standard “How not to speak or teach” cliches.
I am all for attention-getters, stories, etc. as long as they relate to the subject and motivate the listener to live a Christ centered life.
I caught myself using that time stamp once and I’ve listened to others constantly use it. It’s cheezy to say the least, and like you said, sometimes the bishopric just gets caught up in other things and forgets, just like other members of the human race. When I got my last assignment I made up my mind that I wasn’t going with the status quo and I made no reference to who asked me or my assigned topic; I just went after the task at hand. And, it wasn’t long before the congregation knew what the topic was.
I hate the time stamp for the very reasons you listed and I’m not even in the bishopric (but if I was, wouldn’t THAT make a story).
Anyway, I never got the point of it. It doesn’t matter when someone gets asked, they usually wait until Saturday night to start preparing anyway, or if you’re like me, scramble some notes during the opening prayer and then wing it.
I’m in a branch that says no- a lot. We’ve had speakers just not bother to show up on their assigned day, and I’d say half our members would say no when asked to speak in the first place. Vatermann is probably right- it stems from a lack of faith. But it is still a problem. I know our branch presidency starts asking early, but I’m pretty sure some of the talks come at the last minute. I guess that’s why we have the high counselor and his wife speak every third Sunday! One less talk slot to fill.
I’ve never been in a bishopric, but I’m amazed at how often people say no to callings or requests from the bishopric. I think a lot of the cliche phrases come from a lack of faith in the inspiration of our leaders, which leads to a reluctance to fulfill assignments. Either they’re inspired or they’re not. Either we can do all things with the Lord’s help or we can’t. We know how the Lord feels about luke-warm people. I have a firm testimony that God helps us fulfill assignments, especially ones we’re not well-suited for.
I sooooooooooo needed to hear that today. Thank you.
We once had a sister get up to give a either a talk or bear her testimony (I can’t remember) and told the entire ward how she felt that she had been given the wrong calling and asked to be released, and felt that her next calling was so much better. It felt to me like she was saying that the bishop had no idea what he was doing. My husband and I felt really uncomfortable about that because we know our bishop is guided by the spirit and have seen it on multiple occasions. It drives me nuts to see people who aren’t willing to serve where they are needed.
Sorry, but ANY bishopric that CONSISTENTLY asks people to speak with less than a week to prepare DESERVES to be called out. I’m on Paul’s team. At least two weeks notice. It can be done, but you have to be organized. This is why they should start calling a third counselor to bishoprics who is just in charge of talk assignments. And have it be a girl. Also, I would like your amazing counselor to send speaking tips to the people who speak in my ward.
My ward actually does have someone whose calling it is to coordinate the speakers for our bishopric. Instead of the bishopric getting the “time stamp”, he does.
To alleviate or put a stop to the things contributing to “How to give a bad talk”, would it be appropriate or helpful for the member of the Bishopric to diplomatically mention to please refrain from saying (Fill in the blank of a few of the things people always say)? Or email the person with guidelines for the talk/topic/time etc and in that mention to kindly refrain from time stamps (and other aforementioned things not to say in a talk from the previous post)?
I had an amazing counselor who was insanely efficient – he created a letter that we would send to people before they spoke that talked about things like not running long, and staying on topic, etc. It was really helpful, but it wasn’t this nit-picky. Did I say “nit-picky”? I meant “helpful.”
I don’t mind being asked to speak at the last minute. I know blessings and inspiration come for those willing to do it and wish to do it well. However, I am guilty of adding the time stamp once when I got a call on a Friday night with a request for my whole family to speak on Sunday on the Apostasy. We had 24 hours to prepare. The Holy Ghost came through for all of us. My point at that time was that it can be done if you put on your big brave boots and do it.
I wonder if I have ever been seen rolling my eyes when a speaker uses any of those introductions….you know…”Did I just roll my eyes out loud?”
Well, since you asked so nicely I’ll actually comment for the first time ever…
I have the privilege of asking others to speak. In fact, it has been my turn again this very month (we rotate months in our bishopric). And it has gone very smoothly this time. Whew.
That said, no, I don’t really like time stamps. Not because I ask speakers last minute – that’s actually really rare when something or someone falls through or the situation changes. In particular, I dislike being singled out as if asking someone to speak was a vindictive act on my part. It’s not. It should be an honor to be asked to speak to everyone, to have an opportunity to uplift others, to have the opportunity to participate in a sacred service that can and does have great meaning in many lives, and to be an instrument in the hands of the Lord in speaking to His people while helping to carry out His work as guided by the Spirit.
I know some people have a very hard time with public speaking. I used to. I don’t now. I could be called up out of the congregation to speak on the spot and wouldn’t mind, although I would appreciate 5 minutes or so to prepare if possible. Speaking is not a hard thing for me. But I can sympathize with those for whom it is an issue and try to give them as much time as needed to prepare.
The one thing I most appreciate is when people accept the opportunity to speak graciously. They don’t have to be excited, although that’s great, but just be nice about it. When I asked one brother to speak recently and he accepted the opportunity graciously, I was taken aback because I realized how long it had been since that had happened. It was so nice. There’s so much to do and so much stress as it is in my calling, kindly accepting the opportunity to speak alone was uplifting to my own spirit.
(Thanks for posting this, MMM, and for bringing these things to wide attention. Yours is the only blog I consistently and regularly read on the whole wide Internet. It’s that good.)
About time you joined the party! Thanks for your kind words.
Our present bishop is great about heading this off. If the speaker is replacing someone in the lineup, the bishop will say so when he introduces the speaker. The bishop scores points for being up front. The speaker scores points for being the “go to” guy. And no one can make the time stamp excuse because that card is on the table.
(That said, one of my pet peeves is counselors who give speakers less than a week to prepare. I tried to give people at least two weeks to prepare.)
That is an excellent solution!! I am going to forward this post to my bishop!
That video was hilarious. At the same time, I’m honestly sick of hearing all that silly preamble to a talk, too. I’ve never paid much attention to the time stamp. Maybe it hasn’t been there, maybe I just never noticed. I LOVE giving talks in sacrament meeting. And there’s always so much substance that besides the fact that I hate all the other stuff, there just isn’t time enough for me in a 5-7 minute talk, to waste the first two minutes with fluff that just makes people feel uncomfortable anyway.
I saw that video a couple months ago, and can’t help cracking up every time someone starts their talk with one of these classic cliches. Go easy on these fellows, though. In some studies, the majority of people rank public speaking higher on the fear scale than death.
“Which means that at a funeral, odds are that most would rather be in the coffin than in front of the microphone.” -Can’t remember who said it.
Jerry Sienfeld. Happened to see that episode last night, and I also happen to be one of those people who are more afraid of public speaking than death. Ugh! Maybe someday it will become easier…?
Good one. Remember, ain’t none of us on the Olympic Sacrament Mtg Talk team.
But all of can improve with small tips – and the better we get, the less scary it becomes.
Yes! Having spoken every year for the past….14? With youth talks scattered before that… I’m no longer afraid or shaking, or going numb. True story.
Thank you for the time stamp post…it always makes me sooo uncomfortable. You just feel badly for whoever they are directing their comments at, then at the speaker for making a fool of themselves.
The only way to make it easier is practice. I’m sure if you ask your bishop he would be more than willing ti help in this endeavor. 😉
I have seared into my mind the occasion when a sister trying to begin her talk, called the Bishop a weirdo right from the pulpit. It made me squirm then and it does now just thinking about it. Perhaps some speaking etiquette classes are in order. Ya think?
This series reminds me of this column from my BYU days of yore: http://www.ericdsnider.com/snide/how-to-be-a-gooder-speechist/ Some other good tips in here.
Haha, I love Snide Remarks! Good stuff.
Not as funny, but it sooo needed to be said!
I think we in the congregation have some responsibility here, too. WHY do we keep laughing at the same old jokes at the beginning of a talk???
Just something to think about. :-p
You forgot one possibility. Maybe the speaker is insecure. One thing that makes a person amazing and the kind of guy or gal that can be called on and deliver at the last minute is humility. Just a thought.
However, I will be sure never to give a time stamp. Never again. Thanks, MMM
It think what you are saying is correct, and probably the most common reason for the time stamp, but I think it fits into #1: Shifting the Blame.
I would add that insecurity and humility are not the same thing. Insecure people tend to point out their own (perceived) weaknesses in an attempt to excuse their (assumed) poor performance. Humble people trust in the Lord to make their weaknesses strengths.
Thanks Adam, I agree insecurity and humility are different. I also agree that often times insecurity falls into shifting the blame. Some of the most insecure people I know are closet narcissists. But some just lack confidence and skills and would feel uncomfortable even if they had all the time in the world to prepare.