Wow – that was quick! It is Conference time again. It must be a function of age, but it seems like we just had it six months ago. Last Fall I wrote a post about taking notes to get more out of Conference, and many of you responded positively. I was surprised to see my terrible handwriting pinned on Pinterest. (Here is that post.)
Last year we attended at the Conference Center, and it was a great experience. But the thing that stands out most to me was not a specific talk – and there were many great ones, it was not any of the music – and it was all glorious, it was the Pepto-Bismol flavored dresses that the choir sisters wore.
Just kidding! That was my second favorite thing. My favorite thing was watching the youngest FOML as he dug in and participated in Conference. Let me tell you about him. He is the last of 5 FOMLs. He is the last of 4 boys. He came 5 years later than the next oldest – he is the proverbial “caboose”. We like to refer to him a “dessert”, because he is so sweet, and the perfect way to finish up. He loves to read, and is quite verbal. (Which is code for “he talks a lot”.)
The day before October Conference, we went down to the Lord’s University to buy some cinnamon bears and watch BYU beat up on them Aggies. Again. It was lovely. While at the Bookstore, we asked the kids if any of them wanted a notebook to take notes for conference. My youngest was all over that, and he quickly picked out a spiral BYU notebook.
The next day, as we were sitting in the session, I looked over at him and saw him intently listening and writing. As I peaked, I was impressed by how well he was doing. He would listen, and write. This time was different – usually he would sit and copy what my EC was writing. This time, he was on his own.
This morning I asked him if he happened to know where his Conference notebook was from last fall – expecting him to say no. He was back in 15 seconds with his notebook – he already had it out for this weekend.
Did I mention that he just turned 10? Last fall, when he was 9.5, here is how he spent his Conference:
Yeah – I know. There’s eight pages of it. Now I’m not showing this to you to brag about my future-Apostle son, but I think there is a point worth mentioning. Over the last couple of weeks we have talked about reverence, and often the comments have been more valuable than the posts. One thing that has come through to me is that a lot of times we don’t expect a whole lot out of our children.
Much like my thoughts on reverence, I feel that too much cute stuff for the kids, like worksheets and coloring books etc., shift the focus of Conference to be about entertainment. Every family will vary, but some “Conference traditions” are so over-the-top that mom never hears a word of what is spoken, because she is bustling about providing crafts, food or entertainment. (Mary and Martha, anyone?) It is more important for Mom to get something out of Conference than it is to make Conference an event for the little kids.
Avoid: Knocking back a shot of root beer every time a speaker says “salvation”. It is just plain distracting.
Granted, the younger the kids, the harder it is, and the more latitude given, but in our home, if you are old enough to make covenants, you are old enough to watch all of Conference. (When they were younger we focused more on making sure they were just quietly in the room, and more focused whenever the Prophet spoke.)
In case you didn’t know – apparently there are Conference sessions on Saturday too! Twice a year. Unlike soccer games which are on Saturday 12 times a year – or twenty. You can teach your kids a lot about priorities on Conference Saturday.
Here are a couple of helps for post-baptism age kids.
1) Go to the dollar store, or Staples and let each kid pick out their own notebook, and maybe a pen. It can be worthwhile to spend more than a buck so it seems like this more than a one-shot deal. Some people like to use their journals for taking notes. Cool.
2) Be excited about Conference, and share your enthusiasm.
3) Put away the distractions – the games – he crafts – the worksheets etc. Turn off the phones.
4) Set an example. If you are cooking, Tweeting, or “Live-blogging” the event, you can’t really expect your kids to pay attention either. Or the Spirit.
5) Stay awake. Nothing says “This is not important” like dad’s snoring.
6) Remember, the DVR is inspired of God. Use the pause and rewind buttons as needed.
7) Look at your child’s notes – and show him yours. Praise.
8) Expect more. You will be amazed at what they can do.
Have a wonderful weekend! I am eagerly awaiting one of the Brethren to discuss the inappropriateness of anonymous blogging.
Or to quote me. 😉
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My under-8s still get a notebook but they have to draw pictures of what’s being spoken about. It works pretty well.
PS I love conference weekend.
Live blogging???!!! During conference??!! Now THERE’S an idea!! …Oh… you said NOT to do that… Oh.
I’m a notes girl. My husband and kids have always played legos. This year they will be doing a jig saw puzzle. I like that it helps them stay awake. We talk about conference and they seem to be able to tell me what’s going on. The day they can’t I’ll be handing them notebooks. 🙂
Lord’s university huh? I didn’t know they played ball games at the temple…at least that’s my take on what The Lord’s university is;). Great post we only have a 4 month old so I won’t be expecting notes like your son’s this year but it does give me a lot to think about as she grows.
So enjoyed your post. Because of time-difference, we attend video conference a week after conference at the stake centre. The kids have only ever had conference packets which have prepared them for starting to take their own notes now that they are older. Because my husband is not a member, I would attend Saturday conference by myself when the kids were younger, and then I started bringing them, working them up from one session to 2 sessions, and now they come to both days with me, sitting quietly through every session. Kids are indeed capable of more than we expect of them. We have a picnic in the grounds with other ward members between sessions where the kids can have a run around and get the wriggles out. Much as I would love to live where I could watch conference on TV, I feel the upside is that helping the kids focus and stay reverent is a whole lot easier when they are not in their home environment with all available distractions!
Mari! Are you an Ozzie? I wonder how they worked that out. Now that the Church is so quick to put up the videos, do you ever watch online first, or do you wait until the next Sunday so that it is fresh?
I’m not an Aussie but, yes, I am in Australia 🙂 When the kids were younger I would watch sessions online beforehand, but somehow I enjoy it more when I am sitting in the stakecentre along with everyone else. There is something powerful about a body of the saints gathered together like that and I’m not able to recreate that at home! My exception is the YW and RS broadcasts. I will watch those as soon as they’re online because our video broadcast can be up to a month later and I can’t possibly wait that long! 🙂
My parents were inactive when I was growing up. I took myself to church from the time I was little. I was a married adult (possibly endowed) before I realized what conference actually was. I thought it was just a break from church. I also did not know that there was church on Christmas and Easter. Even after I discovered conference I never thought that it was something I needed to prepare for. Until recently I just watched conference while my children went wild all around me. This post and the comments have been very educational for me.
Love the DVR. Will watch the conference talks a couple times and for those of us who sometime fall asleep (Short 10 min Power nap) can quickly go back to where we were before. Have adult children out of the home! So no bad example!!
One other thought…
We decided to take our daughter to SLC to attend conference in the Conference Center for the first conference session after she was baptized, and it was such a special experience. (We live in Washington State, so it was a bit of a trip, but completely worth it.) That conference just so happened to be President Hinckley’s final conference with us. Of course we had talked a lot about what a wonderful chance we would all have to sustain our prophet while sitting in the very same room with him. It meant so much to her to be able to be there to see President Hinckley, especially as he passed away not long after. It was such a wonderful experience that we’ve decided to do the same thing when our other daughter turns eight.
I know that for me, attending conference in person was a powerful experience, and now as I watch other sessions of conferences on TV or at church, that experience has carried over to make these sessions more meaningful, too. And I’ve seen the same kind of affect on our daughter. She remembers when we went, she talks about how she felt, she is excited to hear the speakers in conference now because ever since she went in person, it seems more real to her. The prophet and apostles are real people that she saw and listened to. And it’s like she can relive that experience each conference session, even if we’re just watching it in our family room.
I used to print off the packets for my kids but they never used them. It ended up being a waste of ink and paper. My pre-baptism age daughter is happy to sit with us and color while the rest of us take notes. No matter how young or old, we all listen when the prophet speaks. I’m always impressed with my post-baptism daughter’s desire and self-motivation to seek after things that are spiritual. She is like your youngest; has it all ready to go long before I think to mention it to her. And when a session is over she often says, “It’s done already? That went by fast!”
I LOVE Saturday sessions of conference! Some of my most favorite talks came from Saturday sessions. And one of the highlights of conference – sustaining the prophet and apostles, happens on Saturday. 🙂
I have always struggled with the appropriateness of packets and all the STUFF that goes with other families traditions. While this may work for some, it does not work for us.
We do the bingo with younger children, the coloring version, and note taking with the older ones. Seems to keep it more reverant for us.
Thank you for being brave enough to post this. 🙂
Great post and always funny. Great Mary and Martha analagy. We do have conference tradition food. It is part of the whole conference weekend celebration. BUT I have no interest in being in the kitchen during conference time. We make it ahead! If I don’t have it done by conference time, well…we eat something that Mom doesn’t have to really prepare. Lots of good ideas here on the whole weekend. I like the conference packets for our primary age kids. They also work like a charm for Stake Conference. They are basily LDS Color books. They work for us. For our older ones we strongly encourage the journals. My husband is a seminary teacher so they don’t get out of not taking notes for conference. Most of them have a requirement in that area to take notes on several of the speakers anyway. Gathering around for conference is as exciting as gathering around for our favorite TV show or game. WE love it. See my conference tradtion posts http://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=9180187761468077430#editor/target=post;postID=243175717786322681
simplify simplify, simplify! Some times we make it to hard for ourselves and we look beyond the mark! Thank you for this!
A couple of conferences ago I tried the get an m&m (or some kind of candy) when a certain word was said. It was crazy. That was the only time we did that. I have tried conference packets, they don’t seem to work well for us. We don’t make cinnamon rolls, or other fancy food that would keep me in the kitchen.
What we do is sit down together to watch and listen to conference.
Our kids (age 25 down to 6) have watched 4 sessions of conference since they were babies.
We have conference “bingo” sheet for each of the younger kids, not for candy, but so they can listen for topics and then color pictures that go with the topics.
We do have snacks that are special conference snacks, bought just for the weekend and passed around at ‘halftime’. I try to make the snacks something we don’t usually eat, to make it a little more fun.
Note taking is encouraged in the older kids.
Yesterday I bought new composition books for the younger kids, the kind with lines on the bottom of the page and space for drawing on the top, to encourage the ones who can write by themselves to write, and those who cannot write to draw pictures. I plan on having them date the pages and use them until they are old enough to want another kind of notebook. I think these can be a fun record for them.
Thanks for the great reminders and ideas.
I am looking forward to the weekend.
After talking to my daughter I think I should clarify that halftime for us is halfway through the session when the choir and/or congregation sings. Not the two hours between sessions.
This has got to be one of my favorite posts! I want to comment on everything!! But I won’t, don’t worry!
I Am SO EXCITED for conference! I always am. During the last conference I printed out some worksheets and coloring pages for the boys. It really did help them be reverent and they also were able to focus on the listening. Beforehand, we talked about the possible things that the Prophets and Apostles would talk about. And while conference was going, they would turn around (we had set up a low table for them in the middle of the living room along with chairs for them) and they would say things like “He just talked about Baptism!” and things of the sort. They were excited to recognize important themes. During the breaks we did some crafty type things that were related to conference.
For meals, we always try to have crockpot meals so that no one has to be cooking during the sessions.
This weekend should be interesting, though, because we have family coming to visit for a week and they will get here on Saturday. So the kids will probably have a hard time being reverent with their cousins here. I have been stressing over it a little trying to figure out how to be organized and what fabulous things I should conjure up and print out. Your post was so perfect, though, because it really helped me realize that I needed to chill out. We’ve taught our kids about the importance of Conference, and so have my niece and nephews been taught. I should have higher expectations and not end up reliving a Mary and Martha situation at home. So Thank You!
P.S. I did sharing time this last month and they were all on the Prophets and how God speaks through them. It was by far my favorite month of sharing time I’ve ever done! I had such great time teaching about the Prophets and encouraging different ways to be reverent during conference. And I got to share my testimony of that multiple times. It was superb for me.
P.P.S. I am seriously offended that I am not your favorite niece. Hmph!
Cheryl has had a difficult week, and the weekend doesn’t look any better, so she gets to be my favorite niece. If you have a rough patch, let me know, and maybe we can switch it up. Sorry.
😀 You know I’ll cash it in if I need it!
I was kidding, btw. I am not offended. Just thought I should clarify, since you can’t hear the sarcasm in my head. lol
No clarification needed. Actually, I can hear the sarcasm in your head. We all can.
Uh, oh.
Great post MMM.
What we also did when our sons were young…very similar to your note taking, but we encouraged them to use their journals to write their notes in. So out would come their journals, and now in any given year they can look back and see what they thought of conference.
I have to acknowledge that you didn’t knock it for the younger kids, so I may have been a little out of line in my disagreement.
Un-offered apology accepted. 😉
Bold voice of disagreement here (sort of). We have tons of general conference traditions here, many of which you would probably consider “hooplah” (a scientific term for too much effort), but we also have a deep love for conference– I think in part, because of those traditions. I give my kids all kinds of packets and coloring and activities and they love them. They are designed to help them pay attention, and they do. I admit to a flurry of Martha-like preparation, but during conference time, I am on the couch taking notes and honest-to-goodness feeling the Spirit while my children are engaged in their activities. It takes a lot of advanced work to make that happen, but it’s rewarding for me and for them. My children (ages 9,7, and 5) have watched all 8 hours of conference since they were toddlers, and they look forward to it like a Holiday– my daughter said it’s her 2nd favorite holiday after Christmas. They can also identify stories and things that were talked about as well as the prophets and apostles by name, so I know they have paid attention and learned. So while I agree with all you said in principle, I had to defend the conference activities as a “tool” for participation, attention, and reverence.
And all that time I wasn’t printing off conference packets for my kids, I thought I was being lazy!
I remember in college (BYU-Idaho) I had roommates who would carry on their family’s traditions of homemade cinnamon rolls, and elaborate lunches for conference, and they never seemed to hear very much of the talks. Hmmm, go figure. I had just thought my parents were boring in their conference traditions, but it turns out they wanted me to pay attention to the Spirit! What a concept!
Love & appreciate this. Thanks!
Good post. I am seeing this progression in my family to note taking too. My oldest is 10 and she enjoyed taking notes at the last two sessions. She asked for notebook pages again for this weekend. My other 6 children are all under age 8 (and 5 are little boys). We do print out some packets (from the Church website) and pictures of the prophet and apostles for them to be watching for. Conference is right through lunch and dinner where we live so we eat on the floor together in the living room while we watch.
Keeping little ones quiet is always interesting with so many little ones, but we have always watched all the sessions of conference with them, so they adapt.
We’ve also found that having others over for a session is usually a bigger distraction (even if it is just the grandparents!).
This is really resonating with me! I have felt like a “bad mom” because I get overwhelmed by all the projects and treats other families put together for their kids in preparation for Conference. It’s nice to have permission to keep things SIMPLE! (And my husband thanks you for helping release my mom-guilt. It’s an addiction, it really is. ;-D)
I think the most powerful thing we can do for our kids is to set a good example. I have never told my kids to sit down and take notes during conference. But during October’s conference, I looked around to see most of my kids taking notes– even the 8 year old boy. (I do tell the non-writers that they can draw pictures.) And I realized that it’s because my husband and I always take notes.
Kinda scary to have that much influence as parents, but it’s just the way things are!
Oh, and I think the Brethren save the best talks for Saturday sessions. How could we miss them?!
Great thoughts here, MMM. 🙂
Great minds, indeed.
This weekend is doubly special because of conference, AND my niece’s baptism between the Saturday sessions (all things are possible this far from SLC…). And she asked ME to speak at her baptism.
Great pointers for getting more out of conference. I’m looking forward to this weekend.
We love General Conference. We go to the Stake Center (I don’t have cable or satellite, but when we did, the house kept yelling at me and it was too easy for the kids to slip away) We take over the multi-purpose room. Oh, we are willing to share and often do, but that is our HQ. Better for note-taking and our little indulgences. I make and bring breakfast croissants. This helps get them there, including grown and flown with their family. Little children are allowed quiet toys in the back of the room. We also bring printouts – worksheets, match the apostle, etc, often from the church website. As they grow, they progress more and more to worksheets and coloring, then naturally progress to note-taking, supplies are available to everyone. Everyone is particularly encouraged to sit quietly and attend while the prophet is speaking. They naturally choose to listen more and more as they grow. We are at the church all day. Between sessions we feed all the full-time missionaries in the building a simple lunch and watch the between session videos. Mostly fix-your own sandwich bar and beans and franks. It is such a treat to have lunch with a dozen or so missionaries. We often have a family ice cream party at one our homes between Saturday afternoon and Priesthood, and if we didn’t eat it all, on Sunday after conference, too. We talk about the messages, any themes, impressions. My children have always loved conference! I remember one of my sons when he was younger hearing Stake Conference announced and getting so excited. He was a bit disappointed when he found out it was not General Conference. My children know that Conference is a high priority and that it is a sacred privilege to sit at the feet of the prophets.
Great thoughts! I’ve been fussing a bit over thinking I should put together some conference stuff for my 6 yrs. and under kids but I totally agree that it can just plain be a distraction. Though I think for the little people it’s nice to have a few things for them to do so that THEY don’t become a distraction!
Your kid’s notes are awesome. Way to go!
Barbara, FOML is Fruit of my Loins. LOL
I love how you said if they are old enough to make covenants they are old enough to watch conferencs. If we cant expect them to sit down and listen to a Prophets voice, what does that say about significant the baptismal covenants are? We expect them to make those essential covenants but conference Is too hard? Hmmmm food for thought 🙂
Wow sorry about all the mistakes. Allergy season has begun, which means life Is going to be a bit hazy for the next couple months. But really, if we can’t expect them to understand the importance of General Conference how can we expect them to understand those covenants they made at baptism?
I love your insights. Thank you. Before my kids were very old, I always gave them notebooks. The older ones took copious notes, frustrating my six yr old son. I told him he could write the topic of the talk if it were easier. I then spent the next two talks spelling for him. I finally told him to draw the apostles, and make sure to get the tie right. LOL. I now have a collection of pretty accurate GA’s in my room. He is now 16, takes notes, but still draws me portraits. I have a few of President Monson that all look alike but the tie….
This is a great post!
I wrote about Conference with Kids, but it was geared more toward families with small kids (mine are 3 and 5) – I am excited for this Conference because my 5-year-old is in the pre-writing stage and I am excited to help him “take notes”. He’s already into “writing down the words of the prophets” (he listens and scribbles lines across the page… close, right?) I’ve printed off some of those writing worksheets with phrases like “Keep the commandments” “Follow the prophet” and “Families can be together forever” for him to trace during Conference. They probably won’t last him too long, but he’ll probably do a lot of his own “note taking” (i.e. scribbles across the paper). And I figured that it will be LIKE note taking – you can be sure someone will mention eternal families, keeping the commandments, and following the prophets.
I’m glad you pointed out the “Mary and Martha” mentality with conference. And that you mentioned that there are “seasons” of conference with kids – starting with occupying them quietly in the room, and ending up with great note taking. 🙂
Thank you for this post! It was really excellent!
I’m feeling a little dense this morning. What is FOML? And good thoughts on your blog. I’ll have to show my EC your comment about snoring. He sits down on his snooze button every conference.
Fruit Of My Loins.
New comers *eye roll*
Thank you for this. I have not been expecting my children to do much and I myself neded a reminder to focus more on conference.
Nice!
Thanks for this post! I sat down at the computer this morning ready to print out the kid’s conference packets as I do every conference, and while the first one was printing I jumped over here to see what you had to say today. Our oldest daughter is 9, and you reminded me that I should expect more from her than just coloring and playing Bingo. She is definitely capable of much more. All of our children enjoy conference weekend, but I do see the need to shift their focus more toward the message and spirit of conference and less toward the entertainment of it. Thanks for the redirect!
Haha! “Quote me.”
I have to thank you for this post. In the past, I haven’t made my kids watch conference (except Sunday morning), but the last couple of times, I’ve made it a point to watch ALL of conference –I have two kids old enough to take notes and the others are old enough to play quietly (maybe not the 2 year old). Last conference, I had treats, bags of toys, all kinds of fun-ness and good-ness and… it completely stressed me out.
Recently (today? Yesterday?) I was feeling stressed because I havent’ gotten ready for conference, yet. The kids were (are?) hoping for the same thing we did in October, but I knew it probably wouldn’t happen. New baby, husband out of town, sickness passing through everyone… I’m just too stressed to worry about entertaining the kids in a certain way during conference.
So, thank you! I think you make a lot of sense. I don’t want my kids to expect constant entertainment during General Conference –I want them to listen and to learn to love to listen. In a way, this answered my prayers and concerns. Okay, so it just did.
P.S. I said we were probably related, what with our very similar views on most of this stuff –are you sure you’re not my uncle!? And don’t worry. My uncle is middle-aged. Not super old or anything. 😉
Sure. If it makes you happy, you can call me Uncle MMM, and you can be my favorite niece.
That’s right I am!
We are in!!!! (This someday may very well be quoted by millions!!)
Forget the bike this morning. My exercise consists of getting up off the floor! Bravo MMM! Bravo #5 FOML!