It’s very late. Or it’s really early.
About an hour ago I woke up and couldn’t get back to sleep. I have a personal rule that if I can’t sleep, I will get up after 30 minutes of trying and do something else. Read a book. Watch TV. Read the scriptures. Visit blogs. Putter around the house. Pray. Tonight, I’m typing.
When I was younger, sleep evaded me on a regular basis. I remember spending much of my life staring at the ceiling as hordes of thoughts fought for my attention. Tonight was kind of like that. There are a lot of things in my life that deserve some time and reflection in my brain, but I am pretty busy, and just don’t want to think about some of those things. So I do my best just to tamp those thoughts down until “later”. On occasion, those neglected thoughts rebel, and fight their way to the forefront – demanding that I give them heed. I guess tonight is “later”.
After I got married, the bouts of sleeplessness became fewer and farther between. Not only did I gradually become less high-strung, but my brain became more willing to give me a break at night. I credit my EC with this. She is a lovely, calming presence, and being with her has mellowed me, a bit. Thank heavens! If I had married someone just like me, we would have killed each other by our second anniversary.
So, as I type, I know that she is in the next room sleeping soundly, and it makes me smile. Not just because she is cute when she sleeps (she looks like a little girl sometimes) but because I know that when I decide to go back to bed, she is there waiting. Blissfully unaware that I am even gone. There is such comfort and security in that.
When one of us is traveling without the other, I don’t sleep. If I’m the one that’s gone, I am restlessly killing time. If I am home, I take on ridiculously difficult projects that keep me up all night – painting rooms, building things, watching lousy movies just to see how they end, etc. That empty bed just doesn’t hold my interest.
For the first chunk of our marriage, my EC and I would turn our backs to each other and face the sides of the bed as we slept. Then I noticed a lyric in a John Mellencamp song that said “Sleeping with your back to your loved one, is this all we have learned about happiness?” Not a big deal, right? Nothing too profound, but somehow that line stuck in my head, and I began to wonder… Over the next year or so – it really did take that long – I taught myself to sleep facing the middle of the bed, rather than the edge, so I could hold my sweet wife close as we slept. I consider this simple act of retraining myself to be one of the smartest things I have done. It is also one of my favorite. I adore her.
Too personal? Probably. Sorry dear – it’s very late. Or really early. I’ll be there in a minute.
(Followup: It is now the next morning, and I just got back from driving carpool. When I got in the car and turned the key, the song that came on the radio was “Check it Out” by John Mellencamp – the EXACT same song I quoted a few hours ago. Really weird, considering the song is 25 years old, and is never on the radio. So strange! (If you want to hear it, here is a YouTube link: http://youtu.be/8qxDBiiVjlQ)
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This is so sweet, I am divorced, we always slept facing away, I know why I did………..
That was sooo sweet, MMM! And in the background, as I read was playing a beautiful love song, so maybe it wasn’t all that beautiful, but it sure felt like it. 🙂 KIDDING! It was really sweet!
Good thing you clarified that!
(Usually I just delete those kind of comments)
Oops! I guess I should say that the last comment was by MMM’s EC!
I LOVE you more than ever xxoo 🙂
That’s really sweet! But I’ll bet your EC doesn’t snore so loudly that you can hear her down the hall and through 2 closed doors. My hubbie and I worked out a deal: I sleep in the guest room on weekdays, and with him on weekends. thus, we get in some snuggle time, and I get enough sleep.
Actually, in our case I have been the one prone to snore. My EC wears earplugs when I’m bad, so we can stay in the same bed. Ain’t it romantic?
How have you avoided being kicked over to the far side during those crazy hot flashes? I’ve always been comfortable falling asleep in any direction, but after 12 years of marriage, we finally got a king size bed. I had fought against it because I enjoy being close. My EC, though, is an oven and doesn’t really like close quarters. That was 18 years ago. Every so often I joke about getting rid of the king size bed and going all the way down to a double, but so far it’s a no go. Even I have to concede those hot flashes can sometimes be too hot for snuggling.
Haven’t experienced that yet! (And even if I had, I surely wouldn’t mention them on the internet. *hint*)
I’m with you Steven! We both have long legs, too, so we knee each other without a king… We keep the air down to 67 at night for my hot flashes although they’re calming down. My hubby literally wears a wool cap at night. THAT is love!
This is so great. I love that you adore her. I was just telling my hubby last week, that the sight of his wedding ring on his finger, just makes my insides melt. What lites my fire now, are signs of commitment.It is so interesting to me, how perspective on things like that shift, and what becomes important.
I really like this post. What sweet sentiments about your dear wife. Marriage is a wonderful gift! Beautiful, MMM. 🙂
I think you earned some points with your female readers!
I love true love.
I might try your 30 minute rule. I have lain in bed “pretending” to sleep for hours sometimes – with the real thing finally coming back about the time the alarm is about to go off. grr. But I dare not pick up a book because then I almost certainly will not go back to sleep.
I think this is one of my favorite blog posts ever. I love it! My husband and I sleep facing each other, often holding hands. I think its one of the most wonderful parts of being married.
Sweet. 🙂
Awwwwww. You softy 🙂
(And bravo for changing the habit of facing opposite sides as you slept. I had thought about that ..)
Its not even valentines and you are being soppy !! Its the little things that we change in our lives that make us better together.
RJRdaydreamer