I woke up this way. Angry. Irritated. Dangerous. And I didn’t even go to the midnight showing of the Hunger Games last night.
Maybe it has never happened to you, maybe you are one of those people who pop out of bed every morning all chipper and raving about what a beautiful day it is. If you are one of those people, don’t come near me this morning. And don’t even think about saying something trite like, “Looks like Mr. Grumpy woke up on the wrong side of the bed today.” Because I did. And I will cause you pain.
Strange how the chemical/emotional/body/spirit union can function so well together day in, day out, and then one day you wake up and “Grrr!” Again, I am presupposing that this has ever happened to you. Perhaps not. If so, my bad.
I went through the normal morning routine: Prayer, scriptures, kids, lunches, family scriptures, and the only thing I took away was that I am sick of getting peanut butter on my hands, and that the king had it right in Hamlet when he said,
“My words fly up, my thoughts remain below: Words without thoughts never to heaven go.”
Yep, I let the “go to” solutions fail me this morning. Kids wouldn’t come in for scriptures. We ran out of jelly. I had to literally fill the “Black Bin of Doom”. I got in the car to schlep the kids to school, searching for something happy on the radio. Talk radio? Right. Hip Hop? Kill me now. I settled on some old Cure song. Perfect for my mood. My passengers didn’t care – they were asleep, drooling with their heads against the window because they went to the midnight movie. Yeah, I was young once.
So here I sit, knowing that I need to get ready to go to work. Just like yesterday. And Wednesday. And Tuesday, etc. I don’t see a lot of potential mood elevation there.
Now you are probably saying “I’m so disillusioned! MMM has got ME depressed now.” Not my intention. My intention is to ask for your help. Ready? Here’s the question:
What do you do to throw off a bad mood? (Based on the assumption that you do try to throw off the bad mood, rather than embrace it and sulk around wearing it, and sharing it with as many others as you can.)
I would love to hear your suggestions. Please let me know your ideas and experiences of how to “turn that frown upside down and smile that frown away.” (Can’t believe I just typed that – now I feel even worse)
Caution: Don’t even think about quoting Abraham Lincoln: “A man is about as happy as he makes up his mind to be.”
Anyone using the term “waaambulance” will be banned from my blog for life, and I will de-friend you on Facebook.
Well, duh! I KNOW that – and I BELIEVE that. But sometimes knowing it doesn’t make much difference. It’s all in the implementation.
So, bring it. Tell me what to do. But be forewarned…my claws are out.
UPDATE: 90 minutes later –I have found another solution: I whine about my woes, and an army of blog friends come to my rescue with wisdom, wit, and kindness.
Thank you all so much. I am 75% ready to take on the rest of the day, without fear of maiming anyone.
UPDATE #2: Just a quick report on my day: I decided to ditch work this afternoon and take my EC to see a movie about kids killing each other. I found it strangely cathartic, and my bad mood is now gone. Surprised that nobody even suggested it.
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Two things: Your blog always helps for a good belly roll but you can always read my blog and see that you actually have it pretty good.
Or I pick up one of my babies and snuggle the snot out of it.
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Wrong spot, but I can’t blame it on the iPhone. Oh and like Pres. Monson told the guy in the elevator, “Look up.”
I love to go shoot a few hoops. Assuming my game is on, that always helps. But on the days I can’t hit the broad side of the barn, it just makes it worse. I love a little Paul Cardall when I’m bummed. It usually mellows me out although it doesn’t actually fix it. Chocolate almost always works!
Sandy
Dang! 85 comments?! Well…I’m not sure I have any advice. Grumpy was my middle name yesterday. And the only thing that helped was…well, I don’t know. It magically disappeared when the hubs got home from work. Maybe sharing the kids’ attention? I don’t know, but I love that man…he makes everything better! Hahaha…wouldn’t that be funny if it posted under his name?
smile and nod, smile and nod. you don’t always have to be in a good mood. Sometimes a good sulk is just what you need, them take a nap
Depends . . . sometimes I like to just sort of wallow in my bad mood and mutter very bad words under my breath and slam a door or two . . .
When I really do not want to wallow, usually the quickest way for me to get my equilibrium back is to do something physical . . . go for a run . . . do some heavy cleaning . . . rearrange furniture . . . or yeah, as someone else suggested, use the metaphorical diet coke (somehow my husband NEVER objects to this one) . . .
You know, sometimes it just helps to vent . . . and blogging is a great way to vent . . .
Or heck, go wild and eat a few tourists . . . That seems to calm down bears quickly, and frankly nobody really misses tourists . . . (Do you live some place that has tasty tourists lurking?)
Good luck!
i like to climb back in bed, burrow down under the covers and hope that life looks better the next time I wake up. If I’m not tired, I climb back into by nice comfy bed and read a mindless, no brainpower required, book as my method of escape. computer games and tv are my standby babysitters on days like this.
MMM, I’m sure you’re all better now, but here are some thoughts for future reference. For me:
1. I have to want the bad mood to go away. The pain of giving up the bad mood must be less than the pain the bad mood causes. I get this ONLY when I see what my bad mood does to others in my family. And that perspective doesn’t come quickly or easily for me.
2. I recognize I don’t need chemicals to change my mood. I’m not clinically depressed, and I don’t require mood stabilizers. I mention this because some people (even in my own family) do, but I know I’m not one of them. If I really needed meds, then my other methods would not work.
3. Talking it out (which you’ve nicely done above) — that therapy really works wonders. It allows me to “name it” — my bad mood. Sometimes that’s all I need to move on.
4. Prayer (in which the question is, “What have I done wrong” or “What would you have me do.” Learning to ask myself the question “How have I been wrong” is a really important step in my life, because there was a time when I simply didn’t ever do anything wrong (amazing, huh?). Being humble enough to seek the Lord’s will is usually the bad mood melter for me.
5. Repeat as necessary.
(There was a period of time a few years ago when this process didn’t work, so I did see a counselor for a while because it was way more than an occassionaly bad mood, and that process was hugely helpful to me.)
LOL I read and sent all my e-mails before reading blogs this morning so please disregard the last line of my e-mail to you that read “Have a cheer filled day.” It was an honest {but very funny!} mistake. 🙂
I removed my comment spam. Technology is great, except for the times it isn’t. Stupid phone.
Yeah, I always “blame the phone” too.
I would suggest to go flying.
There isn’t anything better than being up in the sky, alone, and at the controls of an airplane. If this isn’t an option, you can rectify that right now by taking a flying lesson!
However, if this is not an option as you sit at work, then I have two words for you: Easter. Candy.
Sorry, flying is far too cool for me. I have to settle for Reese’s eggs.
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Play “Angry Birds” on your i-phone. No, on second thought don’t. I’m hating the level I’m on and in fact if I don’t beat it soon I’m going to stomp on it…that’s a good idea…so excuse me, I have something to do.
I used to play Angry Birds until I hit a level where the anger rebounded onto me.
Throw some ice (less clean up, still breaks), listen to emotional 80’s music (the Cure, Depeche Mode, INXS…) and stay away from cute fuzzy critters.
You’re talking my era of music.
It sounds like you’ve heard lots of wonderful advice, and I don’t want to be an echo. But here’s an article I read this morning that made me smile:
http://www.deseretnews.com/article/865552157/Free-Lunch-94-years-and-88-keys-add-up-to-one-grand-lady.html
Maybe it will help you smile, too. 🙂
Hugs,
Mama Rachel
“Hugs” is the best part.
Now you are at 75% you are ready to watch this…. it will sort out the other 25%
http://youtu.be/vlELGeAMToE
AMEN! I love hearing that gentleman speak. Have you seen him in “The Butterfly Circus?” http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p98KAEif3bI
That guy is great – thanks for the link.
Go eat a chocolate chip cookie. It solved your problems as kid, right? =)
I have found another solution: I whine about my woes, and an army of blog friends come to my rescue with wisdom, wit, and kindness.
Thank you all so much. I am 75% ready to take on the rest of the day, without fear of maiming anyone.
Run hard or kick boxing but also blast some hard music, none of this happy go lucky crap but angry at the world, scream in your face music. Loud. And scream with it.
Hark! What is that that I hear? It sounds like the “Voice of Experience.”
Thanks Mindi!
9 out of 10 times when this happens, I am getting sick. Can you go back to bed and start over? If not, you need a BIG Diet Coke/Dr. Pepper, some un-mellow music you like and something physical to do to the tune. (I like Sammy Hagar and kneading bread…or take a walk…).
Also, this happened to me on Saturday, and while at Costco I ran into a friend who let me complain for a bit, and then kept talking to me. And I was a different person by the time I left.
PS: I had trouble getting past the first sentence in your fourth paragraph. You do FOUR things before family scripture study at 6??????????????????????????????????????? You are my hero. Hope your day improves. Joey
Joey: I have learned after years of failure that if I don’t do it then, it doesn’t get done – I have the quiet house to myself.
I like the start over idea, but life is calling…
These comments are hilarious. I’m already in a better mood…
Dar I say it? I’m in a better mood too. I had better get busy being productive now.
Sometimes I just lock the door and hide in my closet… I’ll mess on my ipod, read scriptures, pray–whatever I think I need. It usually takes several minutes for my little boys to realize I’m missing. I’m usually in a slightly better mood once I’ve had a chance to reset.
That seems like it could get a little awkward if one of your boys found me in your closet. I do like your use of the term “reset”.
The things that help me the most are to serve someone or to go dig in the dirt (preferably in your yard).
I wonder if I could find someone who needs me to dig in their yard – (two birds)
But you are right – I should probably find something to do in the yard/garden.
There’s something primal and relaxing about working by the “sweat of your brow.” At least you can see your progress. Good idea about serving someone by digging. People always need bushes and trees torn out.
Remember what it was that kept you up last night? Remember those things that keep bubbling up that you keep squashing down (according to yesterday’s post)? They’re back.
That’s my two cents. Good luck brother.
Show-off. (You are probably right)
Foul moods are my specialty! Climbing out of them, not so much. I pretty much have to ride them out. It works best if I duct tape my mouth closed so I won’t have anything too severe to repent of later. They make a lot of very fashionable duct tape nowadays. No more of that boring gray stuff. If I want pink leopard print preventing me from barking at my husband for not remembering to hand wash my non-stick skillet, I’ve got it.
I pretty much have to be alone, do something mindless for a while, and let the mood pass on its own. But I’ve been known to nurse the mood, fan the flame so-to-speak, and morph into a real beast. It just depends on my mood. 😉
Note to self: Don’t ask Angie for help with mood issues.
Two things: chocolate and milk. Homemade goodies are great, but when you’re in a bad mood, baking can be irritating, especially if you have helpers who fling flour all over the kitchen when they stir. Other times, this is cute and sweet, but when you’re in a bad mood from the start, it’s best to go to the store, get either some twix or 3 musketeers and have them with a glass of milk (I’m not a carbonated drink person). Then I’m usually ready to think about being happy again.
Hmmm. Chocolate milk on the way to work… you might be onto something.
I break stuff. No really! I went to Goodwill and bought a bunch of glasses for like 5 cents each and when I am in a VERY bad mood I put one or two in a ziploc bag and smash them in a box. Then I feel better. My husband cheers me on!
That is really interesting – especially the part that even when you are angry, you are in control enough to put the glasses in a ziploc bag and smash them in a box. I’m sure it save on cleanup time. Most people just throw them at the wall.
Are you kidding? I WANT to throw them at the wall but then there would be glass all over the garage and the tires would get wrecked. Or the glass would be in the lawn and a goose or rabbit or bird would probably cut up its feet. I’d love to throw them out the car window but I’d probably get arrested. I tell you, this is very well planned anger.
1.) I talk to my husband – I tell him I’m in a grumpy mood, that I don’t know why, and when we have a minute to just be to hug me… a lot. (The whole grumpy and down thing happens occasionally with my depression and anxiety issues).
2.) Up-beat music (or whatever your favorite songs might be).
3.) Scriptures and prayer (they really should be first on the list) – especially praying for help with the day.
4.) Exercise. Endorphins baby!
5.) Chocolate… or something equally delicious to you. Treat yourself to a good meal.
Best of luck!!!! Here’s wishing you a tolerable rest of your day. And thanks for your blog. I recently found it through a friend and it brightens my day. 🙂
Thank you “new person”. Glad to have you on board.
Is your husband free for lunch?
My husband is super busy all the time. But once he graduates in August, he’ll have some free time. He’s a pretty spectacular man. (I think part of it comes from being awesome, and part of it comes from being #2 of 12.)
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Your metaphor is making things worse. But thanks for trying. 😉
Some days were meant to be bad so you can appreciate all the good ones even more. Remember-opposition in all things.
Leave it to Tom to justify my mood with 2 Nephi 2:11. Tom’s got my back.
Please let me know your ideas and experiences of how to “turn that frown upside down and smile that frown away.”
Um…botox?
Sorry Viki, that is just too clever for the mood I’m in.
One of two things: Play the piano. Pounding, fast music with a lot of chords. Basically, I beat the piano up. Then, gradually, my choice of music changes and I am able to play some calmer melodies or something light and fun. However, it is about an hour-long process. Don’t know if you always have the time.
Alternative–beat the living daylights out of a heavy bag/punching bag (punching and roundhouse kicks and knees and elbows) *OR* go running (or walking or biking) outside and run until I feel better. It has to be outside, no matter what the weather, though. Running on a treadmill does nothing for my mood. It also helps that we have a nice park with nice long intertwining trails so that I can just keep running long, varied loops and still get back to where I started fairly easily when I am finally ready to go back home.
If time limited? I have no idea. Usually, I literally *beg* for help in prayer.
Good luck!
Aaah. Exercise. Much wisdom in that. I tend to combine prayer with running, as in “Please Lord, let me get the rest of the way home before I have a heart attack”
And don’t you sometimes wish someone would stop and offer you a ride home? ;o) Or did I just confess to a large audience?
And if you run to the 7-11 and get a coke Slurpee, it’s exercise and happiness!
I always heard, “if you’re having a pity party, you need cake. If there’s no cake, there’s no need for a party”. But, I also always heard, Don’t poke a bear.
Wise? yes. Helpful? Probably not
Helpful? Dunno. Clever? Definitely.
change your perspective…
-find a way to serve somebody else
-get outside (climb a mountain?)
-pray for peace until you feel it
I like to rely on old standbys, too; things that have a positive emotional connection for me. A favorite song, a favorite picture, remembering a sweet/happy/funny occasion.
Finding new commenters like you makes me smile. Thanks!
:o)
I’ve been reading for a while, but I don’t always have much to say :o)
When I’m stuck in a funk, I pray and PLEAD for Heavenly Father to help pull me out of it because sometimes it can be really hard to find my way out myself. Usually, within a few hours I notice that I’m feeling better already. Along with that plea, I listen to music that makes me feel good (if I’m stressed, I listen to piano music like Paul Cardall, if I’m depressed I listen to fun, upbeat music, if I’ve got the “blahs”, I listen to motivating music like EFY songs, etc.). My funk most often is the blahs; feeling lazy, unmotivated, etc. So, in that case I just tell myself I’m going to do one small thing: a load of laundry, or clean one surface in a room… usually, I just naturally keep going and pretty soon I see progress and that makes me feel much better. When I am grumpy, I know it’s nothing new, but the Sunday School answer of serving others is what works the best for me. Even if it’s not what I would consider “service”. Calling a friend to see how THEY are doing, smiling to everyone even when I don’t feel like it, holding the door open for someone else, etc. Or go big – help someone with their yard, bring a family dinner, give someone a ride, visit someone who is lonely, etc.
But always, whatever I do, it has to start with that prayer asking for help because if I just do those things on my own, it’s never enough.
Good luck, MMM! I know it’s no fun to feel that way. I’m sure you’ll be feeling better soon. Because I know it helps, I’ll even say a little prayer for you. 🙂
Thanks. Your sincerity shines, and does have an impact.
Although I’m taking the chance that you might ban me for life, this tends to be the only thing that has consistantly worked for me. Under my breath, I literally say:
“Heavenly Father, please help.” And that’s it. It’s usually proceeded by sighing or followed by sighing and lots of deep breathing. Honestly, although it may not change anything right away, it most certainly drives away any kind of immediate threat of bodily or emotional harm to those around me (by my hand!).
It may seem simplistic (and I may seem preachy), but prayer literally works. Who knew? 😉
P.S. I usually wake up in a bad mood, so this happens a lot.
Thanks. I always apppreciate suggestions form an expert.
One of the definitions of insanity is trying to please those who won’t be pleased. But since my state has been put to question in the past, (Scoutmaster for 3 years and counting-’nuff said), a couple things come to mind.
1. You know that stuff you always put off doing because it’s such a drag? Do it now, because you won’t want to do it when you get feeling better. Then you can say you accomplished something.
2. Find somebody worse off, (and there is ALWAYS someone worse off-if not, you’re on the bottom and things can only get better), and do something for them.
Good luck.
I like the #1 idea – why wreck a “good” day when I have a bad one all queued up and ready to go!
funny thing is, I do it, too! Everyone knows don’t mess with Dad when my feet are sticking out of the oven while I clean it.
Come with me to the rehab center and the hospitals in town to make the rounds of visiting ward members who are suffering. It doesn’t take long for me to start counting blessings (and losing count); to witness those with seemingly insurmountable troubles and still find joy in their day; to find a need that I can help meet and then spend time doing what I can. That is about all it takes for me to feel like things are right in my world.
Absolutely not, That would be far too effective, and then I would have to repent.
Music. I like to listen to upbeat music. I listen to church music on Sunday to help me get in the right mood for church. So I listen to the right music for the right mood.
For instance, sometimes I listen to “Walking on Sunshine” when the sun comes up sometimes. I listen to “I Like to Move it, Move it” (Madagascar) when I need to get moving. I have a bunch of playlists. Some are called Writing music, upbeat, LDS, etc. Pick my mood I want and listen to the right playlist.
“Walking on Sunshine?” Seriously? You’re just toying with me, right?
Haha.. I have quite the range of music taste. Except for the real hard rock, heavy metal, rap, etc.
I’ll even admit that I like Rebecca Black. I’ll listen to Michael Jackson, a little Areosmith. Even Styx. But for me, I tend to lean towards Colbie Caillat, Taylor Swift, etc. But then again, I’m not a MMM. I’m a PMMW (Pre middle aged Mormon Woman.)
I work up the same way. It seriously has been the longest week and I am so ticked its only Friday. I would love to just once sleep in till 745 instead of 545. I need a break and I want my husband home. I’m sick of thr rain and might kill for sun right now.
This is what I do because it works for me. I sing “Come Come Ye Saints.” If that doesn’t work I do an act of service so I can forget about my problems.
I haven’t done it yet because I want to be angry for a little bit… It’s that kind of day.
Kayli’s sympathy ploy is working. I have no business complaining – I can’t imagine how difficult it would be to be an army wife. Gratitude begins o creep in…
Darn it! Your comment is making me feel bad for being angry. Yes its hard but atleast he has a job. Thats more than a lot of people can say. I have no business complaining! Except about the rain. I’m so sick of rain!
I read funny posts on facebook, read blogs I love, but the best way out of those days is to find something to be grateful for. And if I am really bummed, I always start with toilet paper on my gratitude list. For some reason toilet paper is an overlooked essential in our life and I am TRULY grateful for it. But then I get chuckling about that and think of other funny things I am grateful for…just so I don’t have to go down the traditional gratitude row– you know, “family, friends, church…” I am grateful for all of that, but when I seem off kilter, I try to find something more humorous.
I don’t know if that helps or not. I do have some funny stories on my blog. I know that would make you feel better, because they are our family faux pas. Here’s one just about dads: http://www.allaboutbecoming.com/good-parent/the-democratic-process-at-its-finest/
Funny story: But it just reenforced that my kids would have no problem whatsoever in writing down one of their tormentors names.
Music. But not chipper, happy music that makes you want to reach deep into the iPod and strangle that annoying little angel who is warbling so naively — angry, crashing thunder music that matches your mood. Then in a while play something that isn’t quite so dramatic. And a while after that something that is lively but not insisting that you sing with the birdies in the treetops. And so on, gradually steering toward the mood you’re willing to live with today.
Either that, or this is a good day to grab your hammer and pound all that concrete off the metal fence posts you’re trying to salvage.
“angry, crashing thunder music?” Any suggestions?
Beethoven’s 5th Symphony. His music is dark and angry–he lets out a lot of emotion! Mahler is another good one.
Something fairly heavy and hard, but with relatively upbeat lyrics — Boston, Bachman-Turner Overdrive, Rush, Styx, etc.
Meh, sometimes we just need to be ticked and wallow in it. Today is your day. Close your office door, don’t use the phone, and get a bunch of tedious, annoying, worthless little junk tasks out of the way. At some random point in the next 30 years, you’ll get over it. Enjoy! (Don’t you haaAAAAATE it when people say, “Enjoy!”)
I do hate it when people say “Enjoy!” Unless they are serving me something delicious. I also don’t care much when people spell out “haaAAAATE”.
What she said. Also chocolate. And diet coke, of either the real or metaphorical variety.
Bwahaha! Caffeine would only ramp me up.
I usually go in the kitchen and bake. I know, I am a woman so that is totally steriotypical(sp), but I don’t cook for anyone but me. I make what I want, not what I know my family would like. For some reason this little selfish act makes me feel all better.
If that fails, I take a bath. Also so steriotypical (sp)…but never fails. Epsom salts, a little essential oil (lavendar or calendula or cammomile) and about an hour in the tub and my spirits are rejuvinated.
I think that finding something you can do alone that you love, that will help restore your spirit.
(I was going to say pray and read your scriptures, but I was going on the assumption that you have been there and done that already…if not…try that first. :D)
Baking and a lavender-scented bath. Are you mocking me?
Hmmm. Well, actually I read your blog. Sorry, no help for you there.