Seeking Hidden Treasures

I would like to think that I am somewhat of a “romantic”, but you would have to ask my EC. In the “+” column, I take my wife on a date almost every week. But in the “-” column, it seems that we almost always end up at the grocery store, Walmart, or the Dollar Store. (And I know we aren’t the only ones) Friday night, it was the Dollar Store. Romantic? No. Entertaining? Yes.

As we were walking down the aisle that held the kitchen products, I noticed a display that consisted of hundreds and hundreds of plain white coffee mugs.  They were all identical – except one. One mug stood out, calling me.

Now I’ve seen Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade enough to know that the Holy Grail would not be an ornate vessel – but a plain, boring mug? Could it simply have been hiding in plain site all these years, in the Dollar Store? As I looked closer, I got another clue.

The mug was painted with a replica of D’Vinci’s Last Supper. While fabulous, it could not possibly be the grail, as Da Vinci painted his version in the 15th Century. Besides, I figured that had this mug been from the appropriate era, it would have probably been part of an original set of 13 souvenir mugs.

TRUE STORY:  I stopped and got out my phone to take pictures. My EC immediately went on ahead. Why? I have no idea. While I was taking pictures of this mug, a little woman came up behind me with her shopping cart and stopped. I could sense that she was behind me, as I felt her eyes burning into the back of my head. I glanced around and noticed that she was, indeed, watching me intently as I was trying to get a good picture of the mug. I began to feel very self-conscious, knowing that I am looked like an idiot. So I stopped taking pictures, gave the lady a sheepish grin, and scurried off to catch up with my EC. I left the mug behind.

I had chosen poorly.

My wife asked me if I had gotten what I wanted, and I told her no, because some creepy lady was staring me down. So we circled around and went back to the mugs. It was gone. The creepy lady had taken the mug!

She had chosen wisely.

It was pretty funny, until we realized that the lady – with the mug in her cart – was now following us around in the store. If we stopped and looked at something, 15 seconds later, she would be looking at it too. It was as if we had become her personal “treasure hunters”.

We eventually ditched her, finished our shopping, and left the store. Mug-less.

Oh, but I did see a couple of other things to share with you.

Yes, New Moon candy bars. Seems like a tremendous idea: Chocolate and Twilight. What’s not to love? You would think that it would have been a HUGE success for half the poulation. (Except for maybe the Bella ones) From what I could tell, the werewolf bars were much better sellers that the vampire bars. (Go Team Jacob!)

I tried to think of a reason that these ended up at the dollar store. Then it occurred to me that if the candy makers were trying to be true to the movies, the candy would be very bland, and leave a really bad taste in your mouth.

Finally, I saw this, and knew it was time to leave:

It was a mazing to me how this little can could bring back all sorts of bad memories from my childhood. Yuck.

LDS humor, Mormon humorist