Quick- What is your reaction when you read these two words:
Tithing Settlement.
a) Already? Didn’t we just do that?
b) What’s tithing settlement?
c) I’m looking forward to it.
b) Yeah, like that’s going to happen!
Hopefully, all of you answered with a resounding “C”. No? Hmmm. Perhaps we need to talk.
I assume we are communicating from a level of shared knowledge, but here is a quick review:
At the end of each calendar year, every member of the Church has an opportunity to meet with their bishop to review their tithing records for accuracy and declare if they a full tithe payers. And hopefully get a candy.
Tithing settlement has several different purposes that you should be familiar with, that I’m not going to go into. They are nicely outlined in an article found here: http://lds.org/liahona/2000/12/the-significance-of-tithing-settlement?lang=eng
Instead, I want to talk about what it’s like on the other side of the bishop’s table during tithing settlement. Yes, it is long and arduous. Meeting with hundreds of people that don’t necessarily want to meet with you during the chaotic holiday season sounds kinda miserable, right?
Wrong. I loved it. Every year. Here’s a few reasons you may not have thought of:
• A bishop is usually tied up dealing with people who are struggling, and those families that are doing well sometimes get, well… ignored. (99 vs the 1) Tithing settlement was always a nice time to meet with, and thank, the valiant saints that hadn’t needed me during the year.
• Lots of kids (and adults) are a little scared to go “see the Bishop”. If they are accustomed early, then they are a little less timid if they need to come in for other reasons. They need exposure to the bishop – to learn he doesn’t bite, and loves their family.
• Go as a family. Sometimes one of the parents will show up and blow through the settlement as quickly as possible, or will try and take care of it over the phone, by email, or even by text. Lame. This was always a warning flag for me that things might not be right in the home. This proved to be correct many times. Sometimes parents don’t want to go as a family because they don’t want their kids declare themselves as non-tithe payers. If this is the case, call your bishop and express your concern. Then follow his counsel.
• Bring the little ones. Sometimes people don’t want to take the kids because of the chaos. There is great power in having our children see and hear us declare our obedience to our priesthood leader. Don’t deprive them of your example. Believe me, a bishop will gladly tolerate a screaming kid if you keep it on your lap. What is frustrating is when parents let the kids trash the office.
• Dress up. When we visit the bishop for tithing settlement, we are declaring our worthiness to an ordained judge in Israel. Showing up in a pink velour sweatsuit or a baseball uniform loudly declares a lack of understanding about the significance of what s going on. My guess is that the bishop will be dressed appropriately. It will also set a great precedent for your kids to follow whenever they meet with the bishop for interviews.
• Have an FHE about tithing before your appointment. It will give your kids some confidence when the bishop starts asking questions, and will help them understand what the meeting is about.
A couple of other things:
• You don’t have to completely pay off your tithing for the year to declare yourself a full tithe payer. You are declaring your intention for the year. For example, if you are paid on the 1st and 15th of each month, and your settlement is on December 3rd, you don’t have to pre-pay for the next paycheck. (I would note that if you declare yourself a full tithe-payer in advance, and then don’t follow through, then you should contact your bishop and change your status.)
• Be on time. Tithing settlement is usually tightly scheduled because of the sheer volume of appointments. Don’t feel cheated if your bishop can only afford you 10 or 15 minutes. Consider yourselves blessed if he has 20.
• Don’t play hard to get. Schedule early. return calls. No bishop likes the task of having to divine if you are a full tithe payer and have to declare your status because you wouldn’t do it.
• Change out your kid’s coin for bills. The ward clerk will sing your praises. Can I get an “Amen!”?
I hope you enjoy settling up!
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I have never minded going to tithing settlement. Always as a family. One time, 10 or so years ago(hanging my head in shame) I was a part tithe payer. As little as I wanted my children to know this about me, I still wanted them to see the importance of declaring your status (tithing, not facebook) no matter what. We committed to be full tithe payers and it was actually a lesson my children remember. Maybe someday they will appreciate our integrity, and our ability to understand the atonement. But one question…why is this the thing of all things that they remember me saying? Not clean your room, don’t tease your sister, save for your mission etc…
I am thankful for the blessings which come from paying a full tithe. However, I am also sorry I had to learn how important is was the hard way.
Is is true that the Bishop can’t declare you a full tithe payer?
We have NEVER taken our kids to tithing settlement. Not out of shame, simply because of the chaos issue. I think we will be changing our ways this year. *hangs head*
One other reason to go… our bishop explained that if you don’t declare being a full-tithe payer yourself then he has to declare your status for you… and he can’t declare “full-tithe payer”
This year at tithing settlement our 2 year old screamed his head off so badly (tantrum) that Brandon had to take him out of the office to calm him down and missed most of settlement. But he finally calmed down and they joined us at the end (in time for candy!).
I have to say that my kids love tithing settlement! And we always dress up. And we always go. And the best part of it for the kids really is the candy. 😉
“They need exposure to the bishop – to learn he doesn’t bite….”
Well, this certainly explains why I had all those kids cowering outside the bishop’s office… Oops.
😉
A resounding amen and hallelujah! I have been blessed through my life by this SIMPLE meeting (moses and the snake on the staff anyone?) it amazes me what an easy thing we fear doing. My parents took us my whole life, and i benefited from it in EVERY way you outlined. In fact I’m sure those meetings early on are part of why the bishop that “raised me” (12-18) is now one of my best life long friends. Very nicely put!
One of the things I love about your blog is seeing things from “the other side of the desk.” It’s both fun and insightful
Thanks for the clarification. That’s what I thought.
Rozy Lass:
Sorry that I did not make that clear. I went back and made a correction. Simply put, if I declare the intention of paying, and I don’t follow through, then I am not a full-tithe payer. Not only am I not entitled to the blessings, I should also let the bishop know that I did not meet my commitment – things like temple recommends and callings may be impacted.
You forgot another plus at least for the bishop – all the plates of candies and cookies that families bring to him! At least that’s what happens in our ward. We have enough sweets that we could probably repackage them and give them to our neighbors. Hmm…..now there’s an idea!
So you’re saying that if my intention was to have paid a full and honest tithing but I didn’t then I’m still a full tithe payer? Or am I misunderstanding something here? I ask because that describes my husband. He INTENDS to pay tithing, but then something comes up and he fears that he won’t have enough and he doesn’t pay. (He’s a convert who has struggled with the commandment since day one.) I was brought up that I have to actually pay the tithing to be able to declare that I am a full tithe payer. What does the handbook say?
Ooh, glad you brought it up, now I know what I want to do for Family Home Evening tomorrow which will be perfect because our tithing settlement is next Sunday!
I agree! We went today and brought all 4 of our little boys (7 and under)…
no candy though with it being fast sunday and all 🙁
As a family we went last week. I am a little embarrassed now to admit that I didn’t dress up…do I still get points for going because I had just delivered a baby? Well, it had actually been 9 days post delivery.
We have always taken our kids to tithing settlement. I think that it is important for all the reasons you mentioned.
Already done and glad to say we followed each of your points.
And there was candy!
Go us!