The third, and final installment – I promise! There is just so much to be grateful for. But, it is now time for me to focus on my gluttony.
First batch here.
Second batch here.
And the seemingly endless list goes on…
69) I am thankful that God does not punish me swiftly or publicly. That would be painful and embarrassing. And frequent.
70) I am thankful that I am more Stimpy, less Ren. It seems that it would be stressful to be Ren.
71) I am thankful that my sons now have the strength to do hard chores. Now for the desire.
72) I am thankful – every work day – that when the staff leaves, I can turn off the country music.
73) I am thankful that none of the FOMLs could be described as “Mormon Hipsters”. (And I mean on-my-knees thankful.)
74) I am thankful that my eldest is old enough and smart enough that I can ask her opinion on important matters, and not have to pretend to care what she has to say.
75) I am thankful that our dog cannot talk. Based on his personality and behavior with his ball, he would probably never shut up. Ever.
76) I am thankful that Mozart was prolific in his short 35 years of life.
77) I am thankful that I live in a country that won’t kill me if I voice my disapproval with the government.
78) I am thankful that I got to go to Girl’s Camp for 5 years, and Scout Camp for who knows how many.
79) I am thankful that my kids reach a point with their music that their practices become something I desire to listen to, rather than suffer through.
80) I am thankful that Handcart Re-enactment Treks are not weekly occurrences.
81) I am thankful that I don’t wake up every morning and wonder what I should be doing with my life. What to do with a day off, maybe.
82) I’m thankful that the vultures were able to help Mowgli escape from Shere Kahn.
83) I’m thankful that Ben & Jerry’s is sold in convenient, single-serving containers.
84) I’m thankful that my deceased parents can’t watch everything I do from the Spirit World. At least I hope they can’t.
85) I’m thankful that my car does not burst into flames when I drive over a lit cigarette that some moron tossed out his car window. (It is a real phobia of mine, however.)
86) I’m thankful that I’m not one of those people who feel compelled to constantly tell everyone how much they love “Psych”.
87) I am thankful that my resemblance to George Clooney is merely superficial, because I believe in marriage and family.
88) I am thankful that God created beaches, and I think it is a bummer that during the millennium we will lose most of them as the land masses become re-united.
89) I am thankful that my EC and I cook together often, and that we are both really good at it.
90) I am thankful that I have never been eaten by sharks or piranhas when I have been waterskiing.
91) I am thankful that we are not required by law to paint our houses pink for breast cancer awareness.
92) I am thankful that I have been married for more than half my life, and that it is better than my wildest dreams.
93) I am thankful that I didn’t die from radiation poisoning from playing with broken thermometer mercury when I was a kid.
94) I am thankful that I don’t work at Victoria’s Secret. I get uncomfortable just walking by, and I would get in trouble for discouraging customers from buying items that aren’t flattering for their body type.
95) I am thankful that there is a new Muppet Movie. Starring our less-active sister Amy Adams.
96) I am thankful that I was too young to know anything about women’s health when Tony Orlando and Dawn had the hit song “Candida”.
96) I am thankful for the traditional Thanksgiving feast, although I have been slow to embrace cranberries.
97) I am thankful that Louis Armstrong sang “What a Wonderful World” because he was the coolest, and that’s how I feel.
98) I am thankful that my wife doesn’t snore like I do.
99) I am thankful that I live at this time, and in this place, fighting the battle with my beautiful wife by my side, in an eternal family unit, fully, inextricably immersed in the gospel of our Savior.
100) I am thankful for my life. All of it. (I could do another 500, but you get the point.)
lds humorist, mormon humor
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91. I’m thankful we GET to paint our houses pink for October!
and I am thankful to have never been grabbed or eaten by whatever is waiting under my bed for me when I pray at night with the lights off.
HAPPY THANKSGIVING! (and the fact I put it in all caps does not mean I am shouting…just to be clear)
Okay. After reading all 100 . . . DITTO!!!
So much to be thankful for! Great list. The new Muppet Movie is part genius, including the casting of Sister Adams. And by the way, I really REALLY like “Psych.”
i AM thankful that you know about Ren and Stimpy,but not at all surprised!
I remember that, when I was in high school chemistry, we got to play with a little pool of mercury that our teacher poured into each of our hands. It was so cool! And I’m pleased to know that there are others besides me who are afraid of the car blowing up by tossed cigarettes. (I’ve been known to swerve around them.)
#89 totally proves you are indeed NOT Pres. Uchtdorf as all he can apparently cook is burnt toast.
#92 – I will reach that milestone next month (or technically two weeks after Dec. 20)! I turn 34 on Sunday. We’ll celebrate our 17th wedding anniversary on Dec. 20th. And yes, there is a good story to go along with marrying one month after I turned 17. And NO my daughters will NOT do that! 🙂
A total and complete amen to #99 and #100.
Love the turkey on the handcart. I appreciate your efforts to keep your logo seasonal. Loved your list, and I could also do 100 with another 500 waiting to be listed, but suffice it to say, I put my arm to the square and agree with all you wrote. Have a wonderful day and weekend with EC and the FOMLs. Someday, I’ll be able to call you by name and refer you to a couple of really great books!
Very entertaining and honest list. ( : Now, strictly speaking, you wouldn’t get radiation poisoning from mercury, but you could get Minamata disease, acrodynia or Hunter-Russell syndrome! Those all sound like about as much fun as radiation poisoning. Mercury does sound fun to play with, even if it makes you end up like the mad hatter. ( :
Great, great posts!! Thank you. (And I’m relieved I’m not the only person on the planet with the lit-cigarette-out-the-window-turning-my-car-into-an-exploding-fireball phobia. Seriously.)
Happy Thanksgiving!
JWW
I never thought about that disappearing beaches thing. Now I’m depressed…
Try to have a Happy Thanksgiving anyway…
I love how even the ones that made me snort…are kind of serious in a way. 🙂
Your list was great. Fun, serious, spiritual and uplifting. I love counting blessings.
Have a happy thanksgiving this weekend.
Dreaming, praying and hoping for huge pectoral muscles 24/7 would be exhausting for sure!
I really really really hope No one from the spiritual world is watching me! Ever!