I have not participated in any of the blog events where you write down something that you are grateful for every day of November. Now I find myself late to the party, and it seems that all the good stuff has already been taken. There are a lot of thankful people out there hogging all the good ideas. So, I will list those things that I am grateful for, many of which you probably overlooked.
So, here is the entire month in one shot:
1) Family, faith, friends, food, clothing, shelter, etc. (Yes, I know – #1 is nothing more than a composite of all the obvious stuff I’m thankful for. Let’s move on.)
2) I’m thankful that I don’t have to blog on gold plates. Not so much because the engraving would be hard, but because gold is currently $1700 an ounce. (And you thought e-books were still too expensive!)
3) I am thankful that my 9 year-old thinks it’s awesome to eat the turkey heart and neck with me. (Gizzards: Yes. Liver: No.)
4) I am thankful that they don’t show episodes of Glee in High Priest Group, or Gospel Doctrine.
5) I am thankful that my EC is so blinded by love that she doesn’t point out what a dork I am. Very often.
6) I am thankful that I have music veto power when I am driving the family car, and I’m not afraid to use it.
7) I am thankful that I don’t have a “Don Rickles Talking Mirror”.
8) I am thankful that rich people in Nigeria think highly enough of me to offer to share their wealth with me on a regular basis.
9) I am thankful that people don’t greet each other the way dogs do. Usually.
10) I am thankful that my ancestors procreated. Attaboy Gramps!
11) I am grateful that I am one of the few people online who know how to spell the word “lose” correctly.
12) I am thankful for idioms. They are the Katz’ pajamas!
13) I am thankful that I don’t need to remember to wind my watch. I am thankful if I even remember to wear it.
14) I am thankful that if you search hard enough, you can find an Oriental market that carries Panang curry paste.
15) I am thankful that in 30 years, nobody has ever beat me in a Boggle match. Ever. (‘Humility’ is an 11 point word.)
16) I am thankful for caller ID that shows up on my TV so that I can know who I am ignoring when I’m watching The Amazing Race.
17) I am thankful that my mission in life is not trying to explain why I am right and the Church leaders are wrong.
18) I am thankful that no angry stranger has ever shown up at my house wanting to “discuss” my latest post.
19) I am thankful that my EC assigned dog poop cleanup to one of my boys.
20) I am thankful that I am a man. And by ‘man’ I mean that I don’t drink Diet Coke, care about Twilight, or buy stuff on “Etsy”.
21) I am thankful that you can’t catch the Black Plague by sharing chips and salsa.
22) I am thankful that every dating relationship I ever had ended in failure. Except one.
23) I am thankful that none of my kids have stupidly-spelled stupid names.
24) I am thankful that mormon.org does not sell our profiles to eharmony.
25) I am thankful that Viagra commercials merely show old people walking on the beach, etc.
26) I am thankful that I have never spent any time in the slammer. No the MTC does not count.
27) I am thankful that God doesn’t always answer my prayers, and that He doesn’t always grant my desires. Some of them would have really messed up my life.
28) I’m thankful that that foam drink cups don’t leave rings on my nice wooden desk. I understand that styrofoam might be bad for the environment and could lead to the devastation of our planet. I consider it a fair trade.
29) I’m thankful that Norman Jewison cast Topol as Tevye in Fiddler on the Roof, instead of Zero Mostel.
30) I’m thankful that society hasn’t duped me into thinking that I need eyelash extensions.
31) I’m glad that J. Lo doesn’t live at our house, or visit very often.
32) I am thankful that I will never be a Relief Society or Young Women President.
33) I’m thankful that I don’t enjoy killing stuff and mounting monuments of death on my walls.
34) However wrong it may be, I’m still thankful for Mountain Dew.
35) I’m thankful that people often mistake me for Bradley Cooper.
36) Wait! Got a little out of control – that last one was not entirely honest, and I only needed 30. I guess I just have so much to be thankful for that my heart overflows with gratitude. I’ll stop with this:
37) I’m thankful that you are reading this, and actually made it all the way to the end.
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Just happened across this again. My favorites were these two:
20) I am thankful that I am a man. And by ‘man’ I mean that I don’t drink Diet Coke, care about Twilight, or buy stuff on “Etsy”.
21) I am thankful that you can’t catch the Black Plague by sharing chips and salsa.
Seeing your ticker right beside both of these made me smile. I am grateful that I never have to think about Twilight again in 30 or so hours, at least as long as you take that ticker down. (I don’t like to think about Twilight, but there’s currently that whole “don’t think about a polar bear” principle going on with it these days.)
I am thankful for Styrofoam as well. I do my part for the planet; I normally re-use my cup up to three times before I get a new one. 🙂
Love #17
20 = hilarious.
23 = agree!
32? I would never want to be a man in the church, so I think we are even. Heavenly father knew what he was doing when he made men and women different, despite what others try to tell us. : )
Loved this…so much more entertaining than any list I’ve ever read/given!
Love the list – wish I could be so clever – I think I am just grateful that at my age, I can still run and not break a hip.
And as for YW – I really must disagree. YW is the only true and living calling.
: )
Thank you Karen. Welcome aboard.
No Linda, it does not make you sad and lonely. It makes you a connoisseur of fine writing and will actually elevate your mood and increase your popularity.
I am thankful that you commented on DeNae’s blog. Because you are funny.
I’m grateful to be young enough to have never said “bees-knees” or Katz pajamas(?) jk
2. 🙂
9. ha ha
23. bahahaha!
25. I think I threw up in my mouth a little bit.
I’m very thankful MMM makes me laugh. I always look forward to reading your posts. (does that make me sad and lonely?)
#23 made me really, really happy. Thanks MMM!
I’m just grateful this cold isn’t the plague..or worse, a “Man Cold”!
And I’m grateful for Nyquil.
DeNae: You were featured on ‘Mormon Moms Who Blog’ – that’s how I found you. (Saw Knotting HIll. I go to her movies, she goes to mine.)
Brandice: Sounds like you need an “attitude of gratitude” adjustment.
Ugh, the spelling errors! I hate them! (Did you get “lose” off of pinterest? Because I know you peruse that site on occasion and the rampant misspellings on there make me cringe.)
Also the “thankful month” posts on facebook make me cringe. Thank you for including yours all at once. And you did manage to get some of the leftover good stuff.
I’m glad I’ve never had to play Boggle against you.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Yay! I found you! I mean, you found me first. But still, we’ve finally found each other, and nothing — no nothing — will ever separate us again. (That should give your readers plenty to mull over, huh?)
Thanks for dropping by my blog. I don’t know how you stumbled onto it but I’m glad you did. I loved your gratitude list immensely.
I was exceptionally proud that I knew who Topol was, although I guess that makes me a “middle-aged Mormon woman.” There’s a great exchange in ‘Notting Hill’ about Topol, but since you’re a MAN — hence the Mountain Dew instead of the Diet Coke and no clue about Etsy — it’s unlikely you saw the movie unless you lost a bet or were trying to woo your wife into letting you go to the Jazz game instead of playing Bunco with the neighbors.
So I won’t quote it here.
Great list, but number 23 really made me say “Amen!”
Your list is the bee’s knees. I don’t know how you access your mental databases with such ease. How did you pull Topol outta there? So soooo true. Happy Turkeys!
OK Kids, if you are going to point out my typos, then make sure you know the difference between ‘before’ & ‘after’, and the spelling of ‘too’ & ‘to’.
Given that I write this nonsense at 5:30am, I’m stunned that there aren’t typos in every line.
38) I’m thankful for spell-check.
I noticed that typo to Anonymous. Glad you pointed it out so I didn’t have to. Have you really seen people spell it incorrectly? Strange. Your list is great! Happy Thanksgiving!
So glad I’m not the only one who can spell “lose” correctly, however you do have a typo–or is it a misspelled word?! right after lose!
Clever & Funny!! Thanks!!
Love the list. Happy Thanksgiving.
4. Can you imagine? Attendance may go up, though…
11. I’m one of the few. Drives me nuts.
20. Uh oh… maybe I’m a man?
23. Me too
25. LOL!
32. As a YW Pres, I can say, with conviction, that you don’t know what you’re missing out on.
Best list I’ve read this year, MMM. Nice. 🙂
Well, that’s a comprehensive list if I ever saw one! You did forget a few things, though:
— Marcus Mathews’ hands (think BYU vs Utah State)
— Chickens and Buffalos (which sacrifice their very lives to provide your favorite snack)
–Forget-me-not flowers (for reminding you how “special” you are)
Bon Appétit!
My husband gave up on playing Boggle with me. He gets to mad when he loses and he would be mad every time. 🙁 I love how you mentioned Mt. Dew. It makes me grin from ear to ear.