Sunday I posted about how sometimes we “turn off” the Spirit without even realizing it, and find ourselves needing to “turn it back on”. When I wrote this (here) I had no idea that the next day would be a brutal day. Yesterday was terrible, filled with frustrating problems, contention, and a constant barrage of phone calls that I didn’t want. I got home stressed, tired…and completely devoid of the Spirit. Just in time for dinner and FHE. Exactly the circumstance that I had warned about on Sunday. And from the comments, I was not alone!
‘Tis humbling. Sometimes life just throws a big pie right at your face.
Yesterday, there were quite a few good comments on the “Switch” post, but one stood out to me. It was written by a wonderfully bright young lady who goes by Michemily. She asked:
“But when I really am trying to feel the Spirit and I feel like I’ve done everything to turn the switch on and it just isn’t happening, then what? I’m not sure . . .”
That’s the next thing to talk about, right? First we need to realize that we are missing the companionship of the Holy Ghost, then we need to invite him back. And it is not always easy to do either part. We have all been there. How do you turn the switch back on, once you’ve discovered that it is off?
Last night I kept thinking about MIchemily’s question, and how I would respond. I have narrowed it down to a few specific ideas. But, I know that this is a very individual process – what works for me might not work for you. So instead of just launching into what I think, I am asking all of you, my wise, attractive readers, to make this a group effort.
REQUEST: Please take a few minutes and think about how you would answer Michemily’s question. What has worked for you? Why? Please post it in the comments, or email it to me and I will add it to the end of this post. (middleagedmormonman@gmail.com)
After you have had some time to contribute, I will steal the best ideas and claim them as my own. Just kidding, I will add my thoughts as well. This has the potential to be wonderful, and could help all of us. (Michemily: Thanks for your insightful question. I hope you don’t mind!)
Here’s to a better Tuesday…
.
Discover more from Thus We See...
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.
I have felt like I was in a funk for some time. I just had a baby so going to church has been hit and miss. (Either in the mother’s lounge, or we leave a little early when he is just fussy.) I have had good intentions of trying to kick start my spirituality for awhile, but nothing was working. Me and husband teach the 12-13-year-olds in Sunday School. It was Easter Sunday and my husband made me teach the lesson. We deicded to teach about Easter. Bearing my testimony of the Savior gave me the kick I needed.
Also sometimes I think that it isn’t necessiarly that the Spirit leaves us…its just that we aren’t paying attention to him (?)….it (?) We teach our Sunday School class that we need to pay attention. Give him credit. The Spirit can be with us without us being aware…we just need to learn to be aware! That is personal and we each need to pay attention to that!
So to sum it up. Bear your testimony. If only to yourself. Also learn to feel the spirit always…
When I need to feel the spirit, this is what I do…
I Pray.
Pray for the Lord to bless you to feel the spirit. (“Ask and ye shall receive.”)
Pray that you will not listen to the adversary, for he won’t be inclined to leave if you are listening to him.
Pray that you will be so faithful that Satan will flee from you (The Holy Spirit will not mingle with such company)…
Talk to Heavenly Father about what is happening in your life; talk to Him about your concerns, what excites you, your goals, dreams, and the good things in life. Have a personal relationship with Him.
And go about doing good, knowing that the spirit doesn’t always flood over us all at once, as the light from a light switch does; sometimes the spirit comes as gradually as the rising of the sun, warming us so gradually that we don’t always realize it is happening. Have faith that as you do your part, you will have his spirit to be with you, even when you are unaware…
I hope you have a fabulous day, and pray that you will feel His spirit with you today!
Corine 😀
Debra: I love Brad Wilcox, but I need to disagree with your characterization that the “the Spirit is ALWAYS with us unless we willfully rebel.”
The Spirit is sensitive and will leave if we are contentious, prideful, disobedient etc. I would refer you to D&C 121: 37.
However, you could look at the term “willful rebellion” as King Benjamin did in Mosiah 2:36. He pretty much states that anytime we transgress the laws that we already know about, we withdraw ourselves from the Spirit. In my opinion, that is not too hard to do. We sin, the Spirit leaves. Because all sin is “willful rebellion”.
I wasn’t attempting to be too literal about the light switch – perhaps a more accurate metaphor analogy would be a dimmer switch.
I appreciate you thoughts and insights.
In high school, I had three very strange promptings from the Spirit. One was to bear my testimony about something that made no sense to me, and I have never been able to remember anything I said (even during the fact). Another was to leave church during the middle of Young Women’s class. (I still have absolutely no reason why I had to do that.) The most powerful strange prompting I had was to NOT partake of the sacrament, even though I was worthy. I thought high school was hard already. Normally, when I was in a place/environment I had to be in (or face truancy charges and such), and the Spirit wasn’t strong in that place, I could retreat into myself, and know that God was with me. The week after I didn’t take the sacrament, I didn’t have that option. What an interesting, confusing, and powerful lesson I learned.
This all reminds me of a talk by Brad Wilcox: Filling Your Testimony Tank. He says (paraphrasing): We need to stop referring to testimonies in ‘light switch terminology’. Testimonies are more like gas tanks. You always have some, and you need to be continually filling up the tank.
The same applies here. If we have the Gift of the Holy Ghost, the Spirit is ALWAYS with us unless we willfully rebel. The degree with which we can sense His presence and promptings is constantly fluctuating. It is unrealistic to expect to have a full tank 100% of the time. All of the things mentioned are all PART of filling up the tank. They are all necessary. That’s why there are all mentioned in basically every sunday school, primary, relief society, priesthood, and seminary lesson. Prayer, scripture study, service, and music are all integral. All of them.
In the end, it all comes down to pride and humility. All of these things help debase us the right way. Prayer: surrendering your heart, mind, and body to Heavenly Father (That’s why we kneel, close our eyes, and bow our heads: submission). Scripture study: surrendering your mind, heart, and time to the prophets’ words. Service: surrendering yourself to another person and their desires. Music: surrendering your emotions to the influence of the Spirit.
Woa! Long-winded there much, Debra? Well, typing that all helped ME understand a lot of things better. I hope the Spirit can say what He needs you to get from my ramble.
I haven’t read all the responses, so I apologize if this is a repeat. In fact, I know my #1 way IS a repeat – it’s to play soothing, calm music (particularly, but not necessarily, hymns). Reading the scriptures works as well. Lately, the solution has been to find some way to serve someone else, whether family or not. It takes patience and focus to feel the Spirit’s influence. And sometimes it’s hard work. But I noticed in the Bible Dictionary the other day that “prayer is a form of work” and that made me feel a lot better. Hope this helps.
Brandie: Really good thoughts – thank you. The quote by Brigham Young is:
“On those occasions when you don’t feel like praying, you should get on your knees and pray until you feel like praying.”
Am I too late to join in?
M3, feel free to confirm the origin and correctness of this quote… I know I’m not right. But it goes something like this:
Brigham Young said that even if you don’t feel like praying, pray until you do.
That works for me.
Also, there is a beautiful talk by Elder Kikuchi about “morning devotional” time… meaning after your scripture reading and prayer, just sit there a minute and actively listen for the Lord’s promptings. This works for me, too.
Love the other comments. Thanks, as always, for the beautifully written insightful and spiritual posts. You’re fabulous.
I have nothing to add to or take away from these comments, except that I see evidence here that Heavenly Father loves Michemily and answers her prayers. MMM was inspired in his posting yesterday of his light switch thing. His post struck a chord with Michemily. Then he was drawn to her comment, one of many. Then he wrote a follow up post today and asked readers to offer experience and wisdom to help. The comments that followed were surely uplifting to all of us, but I bet you 5 bucks that Michemily felt The Lord’s love for her just from the fact that MMM and all you commentors cared enough to send your very best. When I receive an indication that The Lord is listening to me and is aware of my life, I call those kinds of experiences “post cards from heaven”.
Y’all are some good peoples.
Got room for one more? This quote hangs on my wall:
“Make time for quiet moments, as God whispers and the world is loud.”
Whenever I’m feeling devoid of the spirit I literally escape to a quiet place (unplug, close the door, quiet my mind) make myself really focus (on the many things stated above–scripture, prayer, meditation, a great conference talk) and simply use all my heart and strength in trying to feel… In all my times of desperation, the help I so longed for came at last when there was quiet… (and yes, I realize that sometimes that quiet is really hard to come by!)
Wow, look at all this feedback. Awesome!
When all the praying, scripture reading, and trying to feel the spirit are done, but I am still not where I want and need to be spiritually, I just figure that the Lord is waiting on me to get out and show some good faith. That’s when I do something for someone else, and it pretty much does the trick.
=)
My mission president always used to reference this talk by Elder Gene R. Cook:
http://lds.org/general-conference/1988/10/inviting-others-to-come-unto-christ?lang=eng&query=gene+r.+cook
to remind us of ways to invite the Spirit when working with people but I think it works on a personal level too (especially you consider that our own conversion is our greatest missionary success in this life, or at least should be!)
That being said, I do think that there are times when it is more difficult to feel the Spirit because of mental illness like depression or maybe we are doing something inadvertently that keeps him away. For example, an elder I served with on my mission spoke with me once about how angry it made him when people would talk to him about being able to feel his mother, who had passed away, near during special times. He couldn’t understand why they would be able to feel her when he couldn’t. I suggested that maybe he was hindering himself in some way. He told me months later that I had been right. Once he had resolved some things within himself, he had experiences where he could feel her near.
I don’t think that it’s always our “fault” but it’s always an opportunity for some learning and introspection.
My favorite way is also the Hymns. They are also my favorite part of church. Nothing brings the spirit quicker for me.
Sandy
I don’t think that we lose the Spirit unless we are in a place we should not be or allow dark things in. I have heard it said that “the spirit never leaves us, it is us that leaves the spirit.” I think the spirit is waiting for us to come back. And many times the spirit is right there helping us and we are too busy to notice. So I feel that all of the suggestions are good ones. But for me personally I agree with those who talk of service being the key. It truly works every single time. Many days when I am feeling down, alone, and out of sync I pray for an opportunity to help someone that day. It never fails.
I experienced about 3 years of serious depression and NEVER knew that that was what it was. (My hubby didn’t either.) I should have been medicated for sure. And though I’m sure the spirit was whispering, I never heard Him during that time. Thankfully, someone with stewardship over me did hear and stepped in.
Michemily: I don’t know you or what you’re feeling at all. But if it’s remarkably different from past seasons of your life, then it’s something to consider.
Sometimes the Lord withdraws his spirit to give us the opportunity to exercise faith. It is easier to live the gospel when you get constant pats on the back from the spirit, but when that is missing it becomes harder.
Personally I have felt this happen a few times in my life, usually right after a great spiritual experience. It’s very disconcerting, but the spirit WILL return if you are worthy to have it.
I agree with Vicky regarding mental illness. My husband once said to me, “I don’t get it–you are doing everything you are supposed to do, so you are entitled to the comfort of the Holy Ghost, but you don’t feel it.” One of the Brethren spoke a few conferences ago about our emotions being like a hot chile pepper that can completely obscure the delicate flavor of the Holy Ghost. I have taken comfort in that, feeling that SOME of this is not my fault. It is very complicated and personal, but I am most comforted by having a very strong testimony that God is there,knows who I am and loves me, and has a plan for me.
Also, I just read somewhere in the last conference issue, I believe it was your fave, Pres Packer, said that recognizing the Spirit takes practice.
Here is a response I got via email from one of my role models:
Besides the obvious answers of listening to music, diving into the scriptures, attending the temple and heartfelt prayer, I find the best way to get the Spirit active in my life is to serve.
As I contemplate the lives of my spiritual heroes, it appears to me that getting to work on what God wants us to do to help others is a recurring theme. Nephi got to work building a ship, evidencing his obedience by his service to a Prophetic Father and unrepentant brothers. Here is a guy who had every reason to lack the Spirit in his life; family issues, self doubt, really demanding work and that lingering guilt that I am sure he felt after committing a justified murder. Talk about a guy who suffered some serious setbacks. But what did he do? He went to work, serving his family and generations to come, by building a boat, faithfully setting sail for a Promised Land and establishing a civilization that would result in the coming forth of the Book of Mormon and the Restoration of Christ’s church. That didn’t all happen because of music or prayer or anything short of good old-fashioned hard work and service
Our current Prophet epitomizes the concept of Serving to maintain the Spirit. We all marvel at President Monson and his happy disposition, seemingly one with the Spirit. It is no coincidence that his life is about serving others.
Until we get outside of ourselves and stop with the self-pity, the “woe is me” mentality never goes away. Prayer, Scripture Study and Temple Attendance are all actions that invite the Spirit but if we can’t get out of our own way obsessing about how unfair life is to us, they can only have a limited impact. My advice: pray for the strength and ability to serve, study the scriptures for examples of service, and attend the Temple to help determine who and how best to serve. Then get to serving…. and it’s okay to whistle while you work, as long as it’s a Primary song.
Two things that really help me make sure the light is always on is to be grateful everyday. I write down things I’m grateful for in my journal, or on my blog and being grateful in all things helps me recognize the spirit in my life.
The other thing I do is I keep a spiritual Journal, separate from my regular journal. This idea came from President Henry B. Eyring’s “O Remember, Remember” Talk. http://lds.org/general-conference/2007/10/o-remember-remember?lang=eng Every day I write down a time I felt the spirit that day. It helps me focus as I do the “Sunday School Answers” and it helps me recognize when the Lord answers prayers. Some days I write a sentence such as “March 12, 2009:Today I felt the spirit helping me stay cheerful, then though I was really tired.” And other days, it’s a page or two as I have pondered and prayed and I wrote down the inspiration I received. Writing down promptings, experiences and pondering every day about when I felt the spirit has really helped me feel close every day.
I can now recognize when the Lord talks to me. Learning to feel the spirit sometimes to me is like learning to speak a foreign language–to speak it every day requires us to learn how he talks. Lots of my entries mention times that I was talking to someone else and my prayers were answered–or feelings that I have that I’ve now recognized that they are from the Lord.
In President Eyring’s talk he says: “My point is to urge you to find ways to recognize and remember God’s kindness. It will build our testimonies.”
If you are struggling to find ways that the Lord has blessed you and you long to feel close, as you do everything you are supposed to, I would read all of President Eyring’s talk and then apply it. This has helped me the most–and I’ve been a member all of my life, and now doing this daily for 2 1/2 years, I don’t feel far away ever–because I’ve learned how to recognize and remember the daily interactions.
I have felt this way a number of times in my life and honestly for me its come down to the fact that I’m DOING all the right things…scriptures, prayer, temple, etc but I’m so focused on the doing of them that I don’t feel the purpose of it. And honestly sometimes it just takes something different for me. I agree with Viki that when I’m serving other people I forget what I’m not experiencing, focus on others, and then the Spirit will be more obvious to me but its as I’m focusing outward and not on what I’m not feeling. And I’ve realized that sometimes even when I’m seemingly doing everything right, I’m missing some aspect or greater purpose that God wants me to realize. Yet, the only way to realize that I don’t have it is if I’m not feeling His Spirit. We search more for something we want when we don’t have it. Don’t know if that makes sense. Sometimes my thoughts don’t come out very well.
Courtesy of Becky Christensen Gamble, posted on Facebook.
What helps me most is to be outside. Away from all the distractions that present themselves inside (TV, phone, internet, etc.) When I see the beauty of the earth…how can I NOT be thankful and receive the spirit
Courtesy of Viki Groberg Bailey, posted on Facebook. (Long but great)
The question of feeling the spirit is a difficult one for me to get a handle on. I think that God wants all of His children to feel the spirit as much as possible, yet I don’t think that it is normal for anyone to be “feelin’ it” all of the time.
Mortality is difficult, and there are many challenges that plague His children. I have a lot of ‘depression’ and other mental illnesses in the family line, and it is heartbreaking to witness. One of the things that I have learned from family members who have suffered from those afflictions, is that it is HARD to feel the Spirit (if at all) when they are depressed. Now, don’t get me wrong, I believe in the power of prayer, and faith, and scriptures. It is a real power indeed. However, I don’t believe that the concept of having the light (Spirit) in our lives is as simple as a switch. In my mind, it is much deeper, going to the very SOURCE of light.
I think sometimes, the entire circuit blows, or people experience a power outage. I mean, good, honest, loving people. Then, it is time to get out the candles, or a generator, and search deeply for ways to bring light back into one’s heart. And even in the deepest or darkest of circumstances, I feel that the true source of Light (Jesus Christ himself) will be able to eventually come to all His children, whether in this life or the next, and they will be filled with that light, which becomes brighter and brighter until the perfect day.
But, lest I have taken that analogy a bit too far, I will say one thing about the occasional days where maybe it really is just a switch….what works for me is SERVICE. Whether it is serving the dead (in the temple) or serving my children, or spouse, or a friend…it always seems to do the trick!
Thanks for your insightful queries! Happy Thanksgiving
Thank you so much for taking the time to see what feedback you can get for me! And it’s good to know that even a day after an epiphany like that, someone like you can still end up having a crazy day.
I used to believe exactly what J said about doing the right things, but sometimes I feel like I’m living all the Sunday School answers and still there’s silence or aloneness despite any efforts. Am I the only one to experience that? At first I thought that I just must not be working as hard to recognize the Spirit, but when I pray to feel and recognize the Spirit and to be able to follow the promptings, I still don’t always feel like the switch has flipped, or that the light bulb is working, or whatever. (I guess that makes anyone giving me advice an electrician or something, right?)
I was thinking last week that I have talked to the Lord at least twice a day every day of my life (and I’ve told him my deepest thoughts), and that I read His scriptures daily to seek Him and that I attend church and serve others in order to have His guidance in my life. That means that out of any single being in existence, I spend more time with/for Him than anyone else. So you’d think that would mean we’d be really close. And yet somehow I feel like I’m talking to a wall and have a one-sided relationship. I know He loves me as His child. So is He leaving me to myself because He’s busy or because He’s sick of my complaints or wishes? Is He unable (gasp?) to get through to me for whatever reason? (Note here: how ironic that we say that the Spirit withdraws from us because of sin, but isn’t that the point in time when we most need the Spirit? Wouldn’t a loving Father want to censure lovingly through His Spirit? I guess that’s why we also turn around and say that we withdraw from the Spirit, but this is off topic because there truly are times when you don’t feel like you’ve done anything to lose the Spirit and you feel like He’s gone anyway.)
Anyway, I’ll keep thinking about this topic of seeking the Spirit on tough days and about these comments.
I try to think about what music or scripture last filled my soul. I mean REALLY filled it, in so much that I was overflowing with love for my Savior and my Heavenly Father, with my heart wide open. It really helps. I find that when my switch has been flipped, it seems it simultaneously closes off my heart as well.
First, I think it’s helpful to acknowledge that whatever challenge I’m facing at the moment is a hard thing. Trying to sugarcoat or dismiss something as “something that really shouldn’t bother me” can make it worse. It’s okay to wallow for minute, right?
Second, I count my blessings. (I’d be saying this even if it weren’t the week of Thanksgiving.)
Gratitude is the antidote for almost all of my frustrated, angry, unhappy feelings. I start with being thankful for things like indoor plumbing, modern medical care, clean drinking water, and work my way up to a loving family and the gospel. Works every time.
Love the insights and particularly because it’s something that I find myself struggling with right now.
Lately, I FORCE myself to open up my Book of Mormon. I usually don’t want to. I want play WWF, dink around on FB, read blogs, sleep or veg in front of the TV. But if I make myself OPEN the book and start reading, inevitabley (sp?) my inner self starts to calm down (instead of rattling around like a 5 year old off his Ritalin), and my thoughts become clear, I not only mentallhy start to relax, but physically, and then Spiritually, the thoughts, feelings, promptings for the day – my family – my friends – myself, start to flow.
I will say that I don’t think throwing a diet coke in the mix while I study is a bad thing either! : )
One thing I’ve always found intriguing is that when people feel a certain way, they listen to music that reflects that feeling. I have always found that odd. If I’m angry, I don’t want my music to make me MORE angry.
When I need to calm down and get the Spirit back, I listen to music that reflects feelings I WANT to have. I wish I had other ideas to offer, but that’s really the only one that works well for me. (Of course with prayer included. That almost goes without saying.)
I’ve heard a piece of fried chicken may help 🙂
My real answer is something my favorite bishop said to me once: it’s difficult to do the right things and not feel the spirit. When I am off course, I have, inevitably, stopped reading my scriptures and praying. (Although this is different from one annoying/hard/bad day.) The gospel is so simple.
Hope that today is better, my friend!
For me, flipping the switch back on comes down to one very simple yet sometimes difficult response. That is, by by consciously embracing gratitude. Allowing contention, impatience or frustration (even when I’m not the source of it) to dim the light of the Spirit inside me is allowing selfishness to take hold and fester. By choosing to focus instead on the aspects in my life for which I am grateful (even if they are small or insignificant), I allow myself the power to rise above the negative forces enough to keep the light lit. While feeling gratitude can be a natural, inherent trait for some, I think for most of us it is a conscious change of heart and perception. I believe it’s no coincidence the days I feel
the most happy and peaceful in my life aren’t the days when things are going perfectly smoothly, but the days when I make the choice to recognize, acknowledge and embrace my blessings despite the negative influences that may be swirling around me. By doing so, even a small tealight candle held in the palm of my hand in a dark room can fill my spirit with joy.
I have the same experience as Kandra–music allows me to feel the Spirit again, quickly. The music can be hymns, Mormon Tabernacle Choir, or some specific classical music. The music seems to chase away demons and allow the Holy Ghost back into the room, my home and my life. Reading the scriptures or Conference talks also work for me. Paul’s comments about not giving up are good too; if one thing doesn’t work, keep trying other things including repentance and prayer, asking forgiveness of others and giving service.
I like Paul’s comment that we don’t give up on light switches. We go to the source of the light–in the light switch case, the circuit breaker, but in the case of our spirituality, we humble ourselves and go to the source of our light, which is our Heavenly Father, in prayer. I know whenever I try to set aside my anger, frustration– whatever is driving away the Spirit, and humbly kneel in prayer, asking for Heavenly Father’s help and the companionship of the Holy Ghost, I always rise from my knees feeling a little more peaceful and with the lights at least “flickering” if not completely on.
I have these floresent light bulbs, you kow the “green” ones? Well, sometimes they are on but the light isn’t very bright at first. It takes a while to get the light I am expecting.
When it comes to the Spirit, there have been tiems when I thought my switch was off only to realize later that it wasn’t. I just didn’t recognize the light as being on at the time.
What I am saying is taht I often expect the “light” to be bright like the sun, illuminating everything, but it often comes as a soft glow that guides me a step at a time through the darkness.
Listening to church (or the children’s) hymns always helps me. It’s easier to create a welcoming environment for the Spirit with music about Christ.
As soon as I saw the light switch photo, I had a thought come into my head.
When we flip a light switch and it doesn’t work, we don’t give up on light switches. In fact, I usually try the switch two or three times before then checking the bulb, the circuit breaker, then the wiring and switch itself.
When the switch seems broken? I try to remember that I have had times in my life when the switch worked. Even Nephi had difficult days (remember the Psalm of Nephi?).
Sometimes our timing is not God’s timing and for whatever reason, He allows us to work on our own for a while. My experience is that in time, things get better and the lights do come back on.